Friday, August 31, 2001

Score one for the ladies. A woman kicked the first official points scored by a female in a division college football game. The poll on CNN.com asking if women should be allowed to play football scared me -- the yeas nays are in a dead heat. What scares me is that i doubt some hickish backwater sexist would be reading CNN online, and that the people saying 'no' are closet assholes that we come in contact with everyday.
Alas, it is Labor Day Weekend, and I must bid a tearful adieu to the BENNIES and WEBS. Buh-bye, suckers. ANd don't come back!

Wednesday, August 29, 2001

NY so needs a Chick-Fil-A
You know what? Office politics suck. Really suck. They don't tell you this in college. My first two experiences out here in the 'i need to make more money so i can actually survive' world have had probably the sickest idea of an office in my view. That at job No. 1, if you were in with the clique that was buddy-buddy with the boss (AKA the Mafia, as someone once called them) you had no problem. If they didn't like, oh, what you were wearing that day, they could 'tell on' you, yet their friends who came in at 11, had a 2 hour lunch and left at 5 have gotten off scott free for 8 years. It's the same way with the current situation, except there is no Mafia, per se. Just a bunch of people who finger-point (and cackle about people behind their backs) because they're sooooooooooo damn insecure. It stinks. But I hear it's like this everywhere. So my question of the day is: What drives these people to be so arrogant and then, why do they always get better positions? Sounds unanswerable in my view. I must become self-employed.
So, Dionne is not a psychic, only their friend. And Real World wasn't on. What a dissapointing evening. Bobby Darin's story is on tonight, where they'll no doubt mention my idol, Sandra Dee. I mean, we're both from NJ, have the same birthday and think the beach is 'the ultimate!' ok, so maybe I'd be better friends with Gidget than the actress herself. Still, she starred in some of the cheesiest movies (which were considered so way ahead of their time in the 50s) and Gidget (or her grandmother) had the best, all-out sexist line with: "To be a real woman is to bring out the best in a man." It's so bad, you gotta love it!

Tuesday, August 28, 2001

We're watching our neighbor's collie puppy for a few days and it makes me wish that when i move back to NY that I could have a dog. Landlords are so mean like that.
It's a good, no-life TV nite. Dionne Warwick on Biography (since she's so psychic, do you think she knew she was going to be famous?) and then the Real World, which I go into very tired and mellow and come away from pissed off and ready to rumble. Don't know if it's because they all get to live in that awesome building for free or if they all just really make me annoyed. Maybe a combination of the two.
I wish this Little League World Series thing would just go away. Personally, the thing that really pissed me off was that they played the final game at night. On the other hand, I think boys at that age are usually at their brattiest and meanest, so I could care less about the whole shebang. If they could all lose, my 11 year old self that got picked on by those mean asses (being called skinny way too many times when now they probably all want their girlfriends to be toothpicks) would be sooooooo gratifying!
After watching Biography last night, it made me realize how cool it would've been to be a songwriter in the 50s and 60s. And how loaded they all must be right now. Unfortunately, most singers write their own songs now, so there isn't much of a need. But where would we be without "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin" or "Natural Woman" ?

Monday, August 27, 2001

I won't be able to go because of an Italian family function, but

Sunday, August 26, 2001

Had a lovely evening with Vicki and Dexter last night. Showed them around Red Bank, ate dinner with mums and dadums and then headed to the beach where there was a great view of Manhattan, tons of stars and strange things washing up on shore. The shoe-shaped object had these hard, tentacle-like things and really creeped us out. Then a huge wave rushed in, scaring the crap out of us because we were afraid the evil thing was GOING TO TOUCH US. Luckily, it was swept back into the strangely warm Atlantic and we'll always have to wonder what we encountered. D and V got a little bit soaked in their pants, but it was so nice to play in the on-shore waves (no way in hell we were actually going IN the water, what with sharks, strange beings and rough surf and all) like we were six again.
We then met up with Des and her diseased arm, Sander, Eileen and Joe at House of Coffee, where much to our shagrin, it was open mike night. This meant that this Kenny Loggins wannabe and some other strange dude played the guitar and sang songs we'd never heard of. The best part of the night was when they sat down to rest!
PS -- Derek's house is just a pit of nothing so far. Nice to know contractors are unreliable for everyone!
On the 6th anniversary of starting my freshman year at Delaware, my editorial letter on Jetskiiers got published in the Asbury Park Press

Saturday, August 25, 2001

OK, I don't want to insult anyone, but it's got to be said -- WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE WHO OWN VOLVOS BECOME THE WORST DRIVERS? Maybe this is only the case in Middletown, but every near miss that I've had has been with a Volvo driver who seems to think there is no one else on the road! Today one slammed on the brakes, put the blinker on for one second, made it appear like he was making a left hand turn, then kept going, then stopped again and finally went. I was behind this idiot, as is usually the case. They run red lights, stop signs (my mom's only accident happened when a Volvo driver ran a stop sign and knocked the alignment completely out of her car) and seem to think that because they're in one of the safest cars, that brains can take a backseat. As my dad says when he sees a rich freak who can't drive, 35,000 on the car, nothing on driving lessons. It's almost as bad as people who use cell phones and drive, but don't even get me started on that one!
Am I the only one freaked out by tounge scrapers?
Going to check on the progress of Mr. Jeter's house with some friends later. I bet we see about 20 other people doing the same thing. Does he know what he's getting himself into???

Friday, August 24, 2001

The WEBS were in full effect today on the way home. Mostly Brooklyn, judging by the 'my dawtah's compyewta's and 'cawl me laytah. i'm lewsin' my signal.'s Thank god next weekend is Labor Day.

Why am I so fascinated by the movie Center Stage? It's got pretty bad acting and is on HBO like every freaking day, yet I feel compelled to watch it. Choreography is interesting to me lately, and at no better time because I'm interviewing the Popstars judge/choreographer on Monday. He did NSYNC's tour (which I'm not afraid to admit I saw at Giant's Stadium with Vicki. It must be because I never went through the New Kids on The Block thing. They were too thuggish-looking and acting for me at the time.) and has worked with J-Lo and other assorted dancer/singer people. How this translates to soaps is beyond me, but hey, I'll get a byline for it.
The office is in a tizzy over our e-mail being changed. It's funny how everyone gets set in their ways with e-mail. But now we have all the preference options and can color-coordinate our screens with our clothes. Yes, it's a very slow day at Weekly.

I must remember to look up the Love Boat on Jump the Shark to see if they agree that when that Ken doll look alike came on, the show went downhill. We have a new game now where you watch the first five minutes of the show (when all the guest stars make their way onto the ship) and try to "guess the plots". Like, Charro mentions to Captain Stubing and Julie(editor's note: when this writer went on a cruise the captain and cruise director were no where to be found) that someone sent her a love note, but the author was anonymous. Whoever can guess the special guest star who sent it (more than likely Marty Feldman, not Joe Namath) wins. Since Aaron Spelling wasn't at his 90210 prime, the plots are very easy to guess. It's a given that Gopher and Issac will get into some kind of misunderstaning involving a rich woman, an animal, or Doc's love life.

Laura T. is going to buy a condo. I feel so poor.

Thursday, August 23, 2001

For all the flak it gets, the NY Post has had some pretty funny headlines over the years. Their 200th Anniversary site has some of the greatest hits,including a bald Don Mattingly.

Wednesday, August 22, 2001

Since there were a few BENNIES/WEBS on the train today, let me devote a special entry to them. So, what is a BENNIE or a WEB? Well, they are abbreviations for the nuisances that make their way down the Jersey Shore on any given day during the summer. Though no set meaning is known, The B in BENNIE stands for either Brooklyn, Bayonne or Bergen (as in that rich county in northern NJ), the E for Elizabeth or Essex (another rich county in northern NJ) , and the 2 Ns can range from Newark, New York or just Northern NJ. WEB is a term my parents and their friends have coined. I find it more all-encompassing, and not as nice sounding as BENNIE -- WeekEnd Bastards of Summer.

How to Spot a BENNIE/WEB:
On beach: big family, or group of 3-4 yuppie friends. 2 umbrellas at family spot, none at yuppies. Both bring loud stereos, equally loud children. And the yuppies bring their cell phones.
On the road: Just look for out of state license plates and any car laden down with stuff that is blocking views out of all windows and is probably suffocating the children in the backseat.
On the train: Wait under the Big Board in Penn Station. Look like they're out of a J. Crew ad, complete with straw bags, jean jackets, flip flops. Either complete snob or total ditz. The men don't wear socks with their topsiders, sometimes rich enough to wear shorts to work. And they're all usually the loudest bunch on the train. If the men are in a group, they are usually drinking 6 beers a piece out of brown bags.

The biggest telltale sign that these people aren't from the area and just there to abuse it for the weekend and
make traffic hell for the locals:
They refer to any beach from Sandy Hook to Cape May as "Going down the Shore". Those who live nearby call it "The beach".
GO HOME WEBS!
I just checked out The Lizzie Grubman Game. It's hysterical.
It could snow in my office right now, it is so damn cold. I am swaddled in two sweaters (one for arms, the other for legs) and remembering how we swealtered in here during the winter. And that Amy D. is in Florida, probably sweating to death. We could use space heaters for a while, then they started blowing out sockets. Considering the 260 Madison staff tells us there's "no problem" when the building is actually ON FIRE, I doubt anything will get done about it, so I'll stop whining.

Just when I thought I was the only one not caring about Barry Bonds' chase for the home run record (MLB hasn't learned a damn thing about history), SI's Rick Reilly gives even more reason to sob that this SOB is going to be a record holder.
I've been one day ahead of myself this week, so it's supposed to be Thursday, not Wednesday. Ugh.

I'm they type of person who hates to know what time it is while at work. Unfortunately, with all the editors tuned into their soaps, I can tell just how damn slow the day is going when I hear the various theme songs. "Guiding Light's" means it's only 10 and even worse is "One Life to Live", which means it's that awful point in the day, 2 p.m. It's even better when you know what soap is on by the commericals that accompany them. ABC soaps always have 'The Luther Vandross Collection' (so "The Power of Love" is ingrained in one's head all day) and "Songs for Worship" (Our God is and Awesome god!). CBS always has the "Shirley Temple Movie Collection" with "Animal Crackers in my Soup" and Shirley uttering "It's OK, Just lean on Me." They keep saying it's a limited time offer, but the commercial has been on forever.

Tuesday, August 21, 2001

Karen's sites o'fun
If you have naturally curly hair, check out this site If you want to look at scary fish, check out a sea robin Yes, they are swimming with you in the ocean.
Karen's quote of the day:
"What's this bitch's problem?" that's my co-worker Ken's response to a whiny woman complaining to Oprah's Dr. Phil about her marriage.
Speaking of marriage, Derek Jeter is rumored to be moving to my hometown, not 10 minutes from me. The rumor says that he's bought Geraldo Rivera's gorgeous river front victorian, demolished it and put a new house in its place. That's a bad sign right there, but hell, maybe he'll have Yankee Barbecues. I'm sending my father over with his neighborhood famous crab sauce in hopes of getting free season tickets and a marraige proposal (for me, not dad). His house will no likely be a bachelor lair full of bimbos, but he'll be on the road 81 days a year which will give me time to spend his money. And when he is home, well that's just gravy. That's IF he's moving to Middletown.
Famous Middletonians at the moment:
Bon Jovi (right down the street from Mr. Jeter)
Maury Povich and Connie Chung
David Andrew Macdonald (Edmund, Guiding Light, right down the street from me in one of the biggest houses in little old River Plaza)
Kevin Smith
Kevin Smith's mother (she lives right down the street from me, too, in a Pepto-Bismol pink cape cod that she's trying to sell for 279,000. HA!)

Ah, I just love working in an office that could substitute as a meatlocker, where my toes are currently numb bc I was dumb enough to wear sandals. This rivals my wet feet pet peeve. Other pet peeves for the day:
-- People who relocate to NYC and act like they are on Sex and the City and think they own the whole damn boro of Manhattan. Meanwhile, Mommy and Daddy are paying the rent on their posh Upper East Side 1 bedroom while these New Yorker wannabes spend all their money on 80 dollar bar tabs at clubs every night. Meanwhile, hardworking Dex and Vicki can't get a place bc of bastard, money hungry landlords, and undeserving spoiled brats get to live in the lap of luxury! ARGH!
-- Egotistical people. Just look around -- I'll bet there are at least five in your office making you feel like crap bc they have no self esteem. (Hollis' run in with a certain ELR inspired this one)
--Antsy know-it-alls
Good things for the day:
-- It's getting to be fall and all the BENNIES/WEBs will be leaving the Jersey Shore soon. Woo-hoo!
-- The new pork ads.
-- That no one talked on their cell phone on the train this morning.

Monday, August 20, 2001

I just found out my letter about jetskiiers needing to slow down is going to be published in the Asbury Park Press. Now that I work on the editorial side of things, I hope to god they don't butcher it -- I've seen that happen a lot! I wonder if all the whiny jetskiiers will write and say I'm wrong. Screw them!
Spent the latter part of the weekend on the Queens Riviera (AKA Astoria) with Hollis. I miss the commute from there -- from my subway boyfriend (and i still don't know his name), to having a 25 minute travel. Sigh.