Monday, December 31, 2001

For obvious reasons, 2001 pretty much sucked. There, I said it. And not just for me, either. Everyone I know had much more to deal with this year than in years past (Sept. 11 not withstanding) and I think we all deserve a mellow 2002. We're all healthy for the most part and we still all have each other. I can't complain there. In that respect, 2001 was great. But it sure had its moments that far outweighed the good…so, here are my personal hits/misses for the year. And here's hoping that a year from now, I'm complaining that I don't want 2002 to end because it was such a great year.

Moment of the year: September 11
It's weird what we'll all remember about that day. I never felt true vulnerability before then, and I never knew real fear, for that matter. Goes to show you what I nice life I led until those moments. What I will remember most is the odd, foreshadowing things about that morning. The weatherperson on CBS news noting that, as of 6:30 a.m., it looked like a great or perfect day for flying; that the last song I heard on the 80s digital cable music station (and had stuck in my head all day) was "The Final Countdown"; that I saw probably the last PATH trainload of people that probably reached the World Trade Center and envied them at getting to work in a more exciting part of town. And then the day itself -- the worry of the buildings closest to mine being hit, the pod people in my office who actually wanted to get work done, the towers collapsing and people in my office sobbing, not being able to get in touch with my parents for awhile, and not getting in touch with friends for awhile longer, finally heading to the upper east side to a co-workers apartment and seeing a woman taking a nervous breakdown outside our office building. Then the absolute daze people were in while walking uptown, some people covered in ash and dust. The absolute emptiness of the streets at 6 p.m. when I headed back to Penn Station and the relief of finally getting home at 9. And I got off pretty easy that day. Still, I hope to god none of us ever have to experience anything like that day again. Or the sad, heartwrenching days that followed.

Ok, no more serious talk.

Hit experience of the year: The cruise to the Bahamas, May
Des and I booked this trip 3 weeks before departure, so I didn't have time to get nervous or excited about it beforehand. Not only had I never been on a cruise before (our 17-foot Boston Whaler is nice in its own way, but it's no Sovereign of the Seas), but I'd never been to Florida, believe it or not. Des and I had a blast. From our whacky dinner table friends, to our waiter Alper, to getting sunburned beyond belief on a CLOUDY day, it was all good. And then spending a few days in Florida with Des' aunt and cousin were the perfect way to ease back into everyday life before heading back to the real world.

Miss experience of the year: Getting kicked out of my apartment, June
A week after I get back from the cruise, my landlord and his son drop the bomb on me that I will have to move. They are very nice about it, saying they would keep me, but the landlord is getting old and he wanted his son closer to take care of him. Since I didn't have any money saved to move to another place, I had to move back home. Not a bad thing, except for the commute. Still , I miss my Astoria way of life a lot. But everything happens for a reason, I guess.

Hit celebrity siting: Jon Bon Jovi at Echoes Bar in Red Bank, August
It was supposed to be a mellow girls' night out, but we all got starstruck at seeing Mr. Bon Jovi just hanging out with his friends at the bar. We didn't talk to him, but our new joke is that we're starring in his next video.

Miss escape route: Our office building fire, May
When a violent storm rolled into town, I actually went into our conference room to see if the antenna to the Empire State Building would get hit by lightning. Well, that didn't happen, but our below-ground transformer somehow got hit and caught fire. We could see the smoke outside the building and our security people told us there was nothing to worry about. The lights went out in the building, and still there was nothing to worry about. Finally, 2 co-workers looked into the emergency stairwell and someone told them we should've been evacuating. This being pre Sept.11, we were all able to joke about it. There was no mad rush to get out of the building because it was only below ground that was on fire. We still laugh about it at the office, but you can sure as hell be the next time they tell us there's no problem, we're all running.

Hit guilty pleasure: NSYNC concert, Giants Stadium, June
When Vicki asked if I would go, I think she was worried I'd laugh at her or something, but I jumped at the chance. There's something very fun and lovable about NSYNC, as was well confirmed by the screaming masses of teenage girls at the concert. And they put on a good show, and Vicki and I had a good time making fun of the teens sitting in front of us who were trying to act so grownup. We still can't figure out how one of them got a beer….

Miss encounter, Hit funny moment: Snobs on the train to Montauk, September
They say snobs inhabit the Hamptons, but the two having a loud wealthy persons only conversation on the LIRR made Hollis and I want to get up from our seats and pummel them. Never had I actually heard someone say they didn't feel comfortable talking to someone who "wasn't Ivy League". The bratty rich kids on the way home were another experience we'll never forget. This is probably why we only go out there once a year.

Miss sporting moment of the year: The Yanks lose the World Series, November
After an emotional roller coaster of a postseason, the Yanks step aside and let the D'Backs take the crown. And I suffer a few slightly broken toes in the process, which are now returning to normal size.

Accomplishments for 2001:
--Completing the writing of the first book of my Mapleshade series. Let the re-write begin.
--Not decking any WEBS or BENNIES on NJ Transit
--Finally getting my contacts into my eyes
--Reading 30 books this year
--Taking an NYU seminar on getting published
--Sending out a few chapters of my manuscript to agents, even though 3 have been rejected!

Things to look forward to in 2002:
-- Hopefully moving to Hoboken with Des and Carolyn
--Visiting Hollis at grad school
--Dexter's office moving near mine
--The completion of Derek Jeter's Middletown estate
--Yankee games!
--All the good stuff you don't see coming, and all the good stuff you hope happens

Wishes for 2002:
-- That Des, Dexter and Hollis get blogs already!
--That I relinquish my title of professional scapegoat and learn to open my mouth at the appropriate moments and come out with zingers that don't get me fired
-- That I master juggling
--That I get off my lazy ass and write more
--That I find a job I love (fat chance given the current job market, but one can dream)
-- That everyone has a year far and away better than 2001.

Saturday, December 29, 2001

Well, it's three months early, but here it is. Karen's Yankee Journal in blog format. Thanks to Rudy for getting me so POed, or this would've started in March.
Remind me never to think of Rudy Giuliani as a real Yankee fan ever gain. Is he cracked? Build a new Yankee ballpark when the one they already have is just one of the best pieces of archietecture/history in the sports world? The Mets, yes, they need a new stadium. Shea is so, ugh, boring. But ask the city of New York to put up half the money for 2 stadiums, when only one needs to be built and the other simply needs refurbishing? The only thing this shows about Rudy's baseball fanhood is that he's in George Steinbrenner's back pocket. The only thing Yankee Stadium needs in Georgie's mind is more luxury boxes, while all the fans want is better parking. So, you can't add more boxes to an old stadium, and you have to build a new one. Oh, please. George drew close to 3 million last year, if not more, in his old, decrepit, crappy ballpark that no one wants to go to. Someone please shove Rudy off this pedestal he's on, and maybe he'll get some sense knocked into him on the way down.

Thursday, December 27, 2001

With 2001 coming to a close (Thankfully. I don't think this year ended up a winner for anyone I know.), I 've decided to compile my own hits and misses for the year, both personal and worldwide. Today will be the entertainment hits/misses. Not necessarily things that came out this year, but things I've experienced.

Bridget Jones' Diary - I was so enthralled, I read it in 2 days. Probably the best book I read all year.
Getting Over It -Very Bridget-Jones esque and a little more wicked.
Animal Husbandry - the most realistic account of the highs and lows of relationships and very funny. I refuse to see the movie "Someone Like You" because it's based on this book and I know they changed it around a lot. Even though Hugh Jackman is a adorable....
Under the Tuscan Sun - I read in winter, like a friend suggested and, man, did it make me long for 90 degree days.
I read over 30 books this year and these were the only REALLY enjoyable ones. Others were on the bubble and very good.
The Poisonwood Bible - So many people recommended this to me. I found it too literary to be enjoyable. I refuse to read anything that agitates me since I had to do it in college to earn a degree in English/Journalism.
Crazy for Corneilia - That it was advertised on the subway should've been my first sign.
4 Blondes - Utterly pretentious and no where near as charming as Sex and the City. Ugh.
Shrek - great fun. If you haven't seen it and arent' because you think it's going to be a kids' movie, change your mind and quick.
Harry Potter - Just like the book, which is fine by me.
Serendipity - Sweet and light and very charming
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon -- Again, if you haven't seen it, do.
The Lord of the Rings pt 1 -- Don't let the fantasy element fool you into thinking this is going to be a "geeky" movie. Even if it is, who the hell cares if its EXTREMELY entertaining?
The Princess Diaries -- Any teenager with curly hair and glasses should not see this movie, unless they want to come out feeling like they should change themselves to be accepted by their snooty grandmothers.
Everything else was just so-so.
Dinner with Friends -- A great HBO movie that they haven't showed in a while. Probably the best dialogue in a movie I've seen in a long time.
Band of Brothers -- Another great HBO effort. Makes you wish network TV took as much of an interest in miniseries as cable does.
The Concert for New York -- Well done on a whole and extremely emotional, especially during New York and America themed songs.
Fox's coverage of the World Series: Zooming graphics and announcers you just want to punch. Nuff said.
Not much to say here, except that I'm very sick of Drops of Jupiter, I still like Hanging By a Moment and Drive, and am very hopeful that teenagers are going to start liking songs written by performers who actually play instruments.
The whole year was a miss from my fan standpoint.
1) The Giants lost in the Super Bowl -- not too sad since I'm not a big football fan, but it was just a sign of things to come for NY area teams.
2) Delaware loses to Hofstra in the America East basketball final -- I really wanted my alma mater to win only to shut up WFAN's Chris Russo and Mike Francesa, who acted like the biggest America East know-it-alls/Hofstra fans the morning of the game.
3) The Devils lose the Stanley Cup -- Yuck
4) The Yankees lose in the World Series -- Though this does have an upside because they scrapped along and played the hell out of every series in the playoffs. And New York was very forgiving. And every time the Yankees lose in the playoffs, they kick ass the following season. So this may be a hit if all goes well in 2002.

After dragging my sorry sick self to work yesterday, enduring a long train ride with a tummy ache, etc., I'm staying home today. Too bad so sad for my office, which I think is making me ill to begin with. I sit here, sick for the third time since May. I never got sick like this at Mcgraw-Hill, or college, which should be the germiest place on the planet. I'm convinced there's something in the air ducts, especially since everyone who sets foot in our office starts sneezing like crazy about 2 minutes after they enter...

Am I the only one who is blase about New Year's Eve? I've never liked it, probably the whole 'you have to kiss someone at midnight' deal while single or something, but this year, I think I might sleep through it again. I did it in New Year's Eve 1997 and 1998 was one of the best years of my life. Hmmmm....

Sunday, December 23, 2001

I knew it was going to happen as soon as they announced The Lord of the Rings was going to be made into movies -- my dad would want to go see it, and since my mom has no patience for science fiction/fantasy, I'd have to go see it with him. Not that I mind seeing Star Wars and Star Trek movies -- they're actually great fun -- but with Lord of the Rings, I had no idea what to expect. I remember watching the Hobbit cartoon when I was a kid and being seriously freaked out by "Preciousssss" speweing Gollum. And I recently bought the book, thinking I could get into the following Trilogy before the movie came out. Well, Christmas is a busy season and I haven't finished the book yet... Anyway, I had no idea what I was in for. And I have to say, having not read the book aside, it was the best damn movie I saw all year. I've haven't left a movie feeling that fulfilled in a LONG time. My only complaint is that I got slight eyestrain during the 3 hour quest, but that's it. I can't wait to see it again.

Speaking of dad, he seems to have hurt his foot in time for Christmas. And we were all remeniscing about his broken arm last night....

Friday, December 21, 2001

I'm missing my old McGraw-Hill crew today. At the current job, everyone celebrates the holidays by department, and mine didn't celebrate at all. It's very depressing to see all the happy groups of editorial friends go out to lunch, remembering what you had at your previous job. And don't even get me started about missing the Review that was a REAL job with REALLY awesome people.
Jason Giambi T-shirts, complete with number 25, are now available at the Yankee Clubhouse Stores. I passed the one on Fifth Ave. on the way to work (I purposely walk past it every morning) this morning, and there it was in all its new first baseman marketing scheme glory in the front window.

Eek! I must ready myself for the Christmas WEBS today at Penn Station. I will try to be gracious and have good will toward those who don't belong in the Garden State. The key word there is TRY, and I'm sure the WEBS will TRY my patience greatly.

VH1 is rerunning the Concert for New York on Christmas Day and I think I may watch it to tape the short films they showed during it (especially memorable was Spike Lee's Yankee homage and Bill Clinton saying "Wassup" to Jerry Seinfeld) and for Adam Sandler's Opera Man. I still can't believe I watched the whole thing the first time around, but then, it was quite entertaining. And for a very good cause.

Thursday, December 20, 2001

Is it Christmas yet? I'm in the mood to rip open some wrapping papered boxes and watch the Yule Log, which WPIX is putting back on this year. It's not the usual Christmas Eve showing, but it'll do for now. Hollis had never heard of it before, so I think this might be a NY-area tradition. It is kinda strange when you think about it, but what the hey ?

Wednesday, December 19, 2001

I'm learning to juggle, which I hope to master by mid 2002. It's actually not that easy, but I seem to have juggling 2 things down. It's getting 3 going that's probably going to make me knock myself out or break something.

Speaking of 2002, from now till Dec. 31, I'll add my New Year's hopes. Because one day of wanting something is never enough. So, I hope that...
1)...Jason Giambi doesn't suck
2)...I get to Hoboken by spring
3)...I get full movement back in my jammed toes
4)...I at least get a sniff of romance. If not...
5)...that I have a great time with my single friends, as is always the case
6)...Britney Spears goes away
7)...American women authors start writing single women's ficiton, since England's women writers are the only ones doing this at the time and I'm getting tired of British slang and British locales that I don't know.

Tuesday, December 18, 2001

It was pouring down rain when I should've been heading for work this morning. Tee-hee! Instead, the monsoon rain merely woke me up, rather than made me bitch and complain while getting soaked on the train platform. I think I will use these later December days as vacation time next year,too. Although, we don't get off Christmas Eve next year...
Speaking of Christmas, I'd say it's time I made my Christmas lists. No, not for what I want, but for ranking things holiday related:
Best Christmas Movies:
1) A Christmas Story -- I saw it in the theater when it was re-released in the early 80s and it's the first movie I ever remember laughing at hysterically.
2) Scrooge -- It's the first version of A Christmas Carol I ever saw, and since the Bischer family watches it every year, I still find it more fun than any old crusty version. It's a musical, which made it easier for a little kid to understand. And as an adult, I still find it more entertaining than any version with Patrick Stewart, Vanessa Williams, George C. Scott etc.
3) Santa Claus is Coming to Town -- Not nearly as well-known as Rudolph, but just as cute. And the Winter Warlock has some great quoteable material. For instance, when Mariano Rivera blew game 7, all I could think was 'Alas, he's been disenchanted'.

Christmas Music:
1) Nat King Cole's Christmas album -- The whole thing rocks.
2) Frank Sinatra's versions of I'll Be Home for Christmas, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and Jingle Bells are classic.
3) The 12 Pains of Christmas -- It amazes me that people are still discovering this song. Where have they been the last 15 years?
4) Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You, Billy Squire -- just a whole lot of fun
5) Another Old Lang Syne, Dan Fogleberg -- It only mentions Christmas once in the whole song, and I hated it as a kid, and now it makes me all choked up and sad. But in a good way.
6)Celebrate Me Home, Kenny Loggins -- A great song for anyone who is far from home and just can't wait to be there for the holidays.
7) Judy Garland's Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas -- The version taken directly from Meet me in St. Louis is probably the best version of the song ever made.

Monday, December 17, 2001

Oh no! Challenger the bald eagle, my favorite fowl other than my Yankee Chicken and clawed-foot seagulls, has been named on annoying or not! I don't think I can have faith in a world that makes fun of an endangered Yankee good luck charm....
The great thing about having days off is getting to watch the Personal TLC lineup. I really like A Makeover Story and A Dating Story, and the ultimate is A Wedding Story, where I cry at the nuptials of people I don't even know. Like the woman who was going to marry the deaf man and her mother learned sign language and surprised them with it at the rehearsal dinner...sniff.......I'm not really fond of A Baby Story, but you can get some crazy couples on that show. Like the woman who gave birth in her bathtub with all the neighbors watching. Des, Hollis and I go back to that one for our argument against people who get way to into the birth of the child. Considering years ago women got labor pains, dropped the kid in the fields while working, and continued to go on with their work, it makes today's parents look completely, well, in need of a hobby.

I think I'm almost done Christmas shopping. Taking these two days off really helped matters, considering I don't get a lunch break. I wonder if employees can hire the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future to send to the heads of their companies on Christmas Eve....

Have I mentioned how much I love VH1 Classic? Finally, a music station that actually plays videos, and ones from the 80s!!!

Friday, December 14, 2001

I was reading the reviews at for the DVD of "A Christmas Story" and I happened to see the recommendations one person made. Check out the last title. Has this porno been made yet?
Also Recommended: The Originals: How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Frosty the snowman, Rudolph The Red Nosed
Reindeer, It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 42nd street.

Thursday, December 13, 2001

This is from part of the Bin Laden tape. Some ass said it, not Bin Shitting in a Cave himself:
"The TV broadcast the big event. The scene was showing an Egyptian family sitting in their living room, they exploded with joy. Do you know when there is a soccer game and your team wins, it was the same expression of joy."

Knowing full well what it feels like when 'your team wins', this statement makes me entirely sad. That people actually felt this way at seeing people die, well, you only hope that death comes unto them in three fold, and in a more grueling manner.

May Osama and his friends come to know the feeling of when 'your team' loses. And may no one have mercy on them.
If companies want to torture employees, I see no better way than to make them sit through a company town meeting, where all the "important" people who can't get enough of themselves feel the need to "reassure" the employees that the company is still standing.When said company comapares its economic downturn to the fall of the World Trade Center, and the only thing they can really say about Sept. 11 is that they lost money in ad revenue, you know you work for a sick place. And don't forget patting themselves on the back (for almost 3 hours) for cutting people and making the whole company work with the most barebones of staffs at every outlet. I'm convinced our town meeting wasn't made to reassure us, but to reassure the big wigs that they can talk and talk and talk with people being too afraid to leave.

Is it Tal-i-ban or Tally-bon, as many news anchors are fond of saying?

Gee, the Yanks still haven't signed Giambi yet, have they? So much for being "very close".

Wednesday, December 12, 2001

I HATE NJ TRANSIT. They've been crying poverty for god knows how long now, saying that the reason they have only mediocre service is because they're in debt. Well, now they want to raise fares 10 percent (which their board of selfish directors will probably pass) which would mean I'd have to pay 275 bucks a month to get to NYC. Considering I'm late for work at least 3-4 times a month, and late coming home about twice a month (almost always on a Friday, with the excuse that there's been a fatality on the tracks. Then you never see it on the news or in the papers.), the trains haven't been updated since the mid-70s, I think these crackheads have a major case. If the Highlands Ferry wasn't so far away, you could bet I'd be switching my way of commuting. But since NJ Transit has such a monopoly on transportation, they know people will have to suck it up.

Why is it that everyone imitating an NY accent sounds so fake? On commercials, TV, movies, etc, it just seems like there are no people out there who can do a genuine NY nasal drawl. I'd say the Sopranos, but they're supposd to have a Jersey accent, which I think doesn't exist, especially since much of the cast is from NY. It's people moving here from Brooklyn and Queens and Northern pockets of NJ (a la my parents) who bring it to the Garden State. But I don't think people from California and other un-accent places should be allowed to imitate something and sound so bad at it.

Hung out with Dexter, Vicki and their Binghamton crew last night. After hearing about them for over 2 years, it was finally nice to put a face with the name. And they're so cool, too!

Tuesday, December 11, 2001

Happy birthday to Dexter!

I am so sick of all the "Yanks close to signing Giambi" stories. It's been the same thing for three weeks now. It's like saying "We might have weather tomorrow". If nothing's happened, why bother? Though it concerns me that it's taking such a long time to get this sucker. He's so going to have to prove himself in my eyes, yet the Yankee brass is willing to kiss his (non-existent World Series) ring. Whatever. If he's good as a Yankee (read:in a big market, not happy Oakland), well, I'll be content.

Ever notice that there are some sports reporters that look like little worms? How do they get jobs on TV of all places? They remind me of the little rich snot-nosed brat who sat in box seats his whole life before deciding to call some relative in the business to get them their current job.

I so have to get some Christmas shopping done. Something always prevents me from going (broken-down car, no lunch hour, getting home at 8 p.m.). It was so much easier when Santa did all the work.

Is it me or are people patting themselves on the back a lot more for giving to charity? When you do such a thing, there's no need to brag about it. It's not about the giver, after all.

Sunday, December 09, 2001

Jeff Van Gundy has left the Knicks. He was the first celebrity I saw while working in NY, when I was leaving 2 Penn Plaza and he was walking in. He looked as paranoid in person as he does on TV. I hope he gets some sleep and loses those dark circles under his eyes now that he'll have some time off.

David Justice for Robin Ventura. I guess this means Giambi is as good as signed, or else they wouldn't be worrying about finding a steady-fielding third baseman.

I read the most depressing letter to an advice columnist today. It was a woman who was saying that while she was in a great marriage, she had a minor problem with her husband. He never gives presents for holidays, anniversaries or her birthday. When she hints around that she likes the idea of gift-giving, he says for her to buy something for herself and he'll re-imburse her. While the advice giver found ways for her to tell him what she wanted in a nice way, I would have said 'leave the bastard'. I understand some people are too 'practical' for gift-giving, but how heartless can you be to not enjoy finding the perfect gift for someone? Or when someone puts a lot of thought into a gift just because they love you? And I thought Ebeneezer Scrooge was only a fictional character.

Chris' party was awesome. It just so happened to be the same night as the Review's GRB, and it was fitting that I got to see some old college friends at this soiree. Sometimes seeing old friends is so freaking good for the soul, especially ones you went through lots of fun and lots of hell with. Note to self: see college friends more often.

Wednesday, December 05, 2001

Just finished About a Boy by Nick Hornby (author of High Fidelity) and wasn't that impressed. Very draggy. It's very surprising what gets on a best-seller list these days. Maybe my day will come after all!

Is Steve Karsay a Yankee yet? I thought he was 2 weeks ago...

I was just on the site forum for bitching about the teacher's strike. It's pretty darn amusing. Teachers are comparing themselves to Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr., and angry tax payers are telling them to not drop the soap in the jail shower. Who needs trash TV when you have this kind of entertainment. I actually went on to refute someone who said that a 4 percent raise isn't enough. I'm not getting a raise, and when I said this, I was told I should simply ask my boss for more money. Typical of someone who doesn't work in the real world. Anyway, when I explained the economic situation and that I work in NY in a flailing industry, I got accused of having kids, making over 56,000 (the average teacher salary in Middletown) just because I work in NY, having a cushy job, having a crappy job, working in a get-rich quick job and being a loser. When I explained I was only making in the low 30s at a fun magazine, and that I was bitter toward all the crappy Middletown teachers I had (and that I have no children that I know of) they backed off. You have to laugh. I did.

Tuesday, December 04, 2001

Let's start making them saints now. Middletown teachers are going to jailfor defying a court order to go back to school. Let me get this straight -- they really expect the public to be behind them, the public that pays their salary, mind you, when what they are asking for is ridiculous? And they're pissing off parents who have to find childcare for their kids, etc? I'm sorry Middletown teachers, since I've had to actually deal with you, in no way are you martyrs, no matter how much you think you are. Do what the rest of us do when it comes to something we don't like in the workplace: suck it up and tough it out. It's amazing I've come out of this board of education system with that mentality when you're all so above change.

Monday, December 03, 2001

It's time for all of us to start being insanely jealous of Amy K., who is currently on her second day of the job on the Carnival Cruise ship Sensation. She'll be cruising the Western Carribean for the next 6 months.

The teachers in Middletown are still on strike. I have off on Thursday, and I'm considering going across the street from their picket sites, and doing some picketing of my own. The median salary is 56,000 and they're whining about having to put in the same amount for benefits as the rest of us. I'm sorry, I just don't feel for them. Especially with the Catholic school teachers striking for real reasons (20,000 is not a salary).

The boring ass Real World, New York ends tomorrow night. Hopefully Chicago will be a little more exciting.

Is there anything worse than feeling ucky at the office? Especially when your bed is roughly an hour and a half away. Ugh.

Sunday, December 02, 2001

Even though you could tell he was reading from cue cards in certain moments, I think Mr. Jeter did an OK job on SNL last night. For one thing, he didn't seem to mind laughing at himself, which is refreshing: "He looks like The Rock had sex with a Muppet". And David Cone and David Wells were just plain funny to look at. Jeter's not going to get his own sitcom anytime soon, but he sure did look like he was enjoying himself. Especially while beating Jimmy Fallon with a baseball bat.

I'm going to pat myself on the back for the awesome chicken francese I made last night. I surprised myself with how well it turned out. So, if any of you ever get to come over for dinner and I decide to make it, it'll probably suck because cooking can be fickle like that.

If the humidity of the past few days doesn't go away soon, i'm afraid my hair will look worse than Derek's man-perm.