Tuesday, December 31, 2002

We moved on up to our dee-lux apartment in the sky-hi-hi this weekend -- we finally got a piece of the pie!! All is semi-well in the new abode. We're having a few problems with keys and bathtubs and showers but that's it. I'll be completely satisfied when I'm unpacked (geez, where did I get so many books???) and the cable is installed, but the 25 minute commute more than makes up for that.

My friend Ken's motto today: "2003 is the Year of Me." I like it!

Friday, December 27, 2002

I'm currently waiting to hear from my landlord about the fire inspection that was to take place yesterday. If it passed and he got the certificate of occupancy today, we can move in. But if not, well, you know the story.

So I hear the Red Sox CEO is referring to the Yankees as the "Evil Empire". Sure George is in charge of a money-spending empire, that's maybe even a tad bit greedy. I'll be the first to admit they spend money, sometimes for no reason. Isn't that what owners are supposed to do? But Evil? Um, maybe this man should read the article about what Saddam Hussein's son does to Iraqi athletes and then we'll discuss what evil is and isn't. It's one thing for BoSox fans to jokingly refer that way, but to be serious about it is just kind of sick. Especially when the Sox make a lot of money and were simply out-bid for Contreras (who is also Cuban, and a few of my Cuban-background friends say that the Yankees are revered there, thus possibly spurring the pitcher to New York even more). Maybe he's just been watching too much Star Wars or something...

Thursday, December 26, 2002

It was easier getting into college than it is getting into this apartment...

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

Yea! Colin from Real World Hawaii is back for the Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes. I will be tuning in for sure now, as he's the only guy from either show that I still find cute, even after a few years. Note to self: make sure cable is installed by Jan. 6.

Santa Claus was very good to me. Not only did I get a bathroom cabinet from Target, but a tool kit for the apartment (because you never know when you're going to need a hammer and a level), bed desk, tall khakis from J. Crew that fit so well I'm buying more, and a ton of other stuff.

We went to Pat and Jim's for a Christmas brunch with the lord mayor himself, and the coolest thing happened when we pulled into the driveway -- there were real live wild turkeys (big ones, too) walking around on their neighbors lawn. Apparently, they come out of the woods and onto Pat and Jim's deck all the time. Thankfully, they weren't scary looking like turkey vultures, which also live in the area. And to think, they live only a few miles from us and the most interesting animals we get in our yard are the neighbors' cats.

And whoever signed us up for a Christmas Nor'easter should be smacked.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

My dad's been boycotting Kmart for a few years now because they stay open on Thanksgiving. Well, now that they plan on staying open for Christmas, I will never set foot in there again. How awful! To quote Dickens, "It's drudgery for the sake of it and an insult to all men of good will." I know (or at least hope) that the employees will probably get double pay, but still, there must be some pressure for them to work those days. I know I never got much of a choice when I worked in retail, and I worked semi-big holidays like New Year's Day and the Fourth of July with no extra pay. Are there no days anymore where people can stop the urge to make money?

Getting a Merry Christmas "Shut Up" today: Iraq, Trent Lott, the Jesus Freak (I think he was really handing tickets out for God) blocking the stairs of Penn Station today, and the select bitter athiests who try to take all the fun out of the Christmas season by spewing their superiority for not believing in anything. Well aren't you special? Now shut up.

My train was EARLY today. A Christmas miracle indeed!

Sunday, December 22, 2002

I saw The Two Towers yesterday (following like 8 or 9 trailers, as if the movie isn't long enough on its own) and it was just as good as its predecessor. I'm sure there are those who will disagree (though it had something like 100-plus good reviews and 4 bad on Rotten Tomatoes). I went on Imdb afterward and there were already 459 reviews posted. Movies that have been out for 15 years have only like 40 reviews, so this tells you something. And it is funny as hell to read reviews on Imdb. It's like the people who didn't do so well in film school or those who secretly yearn to be a movie critic have a field day. Just read the opinions that are WAY too long and you'll see what I'm talking about.

What I learned from the movie: Be nice to trees and don't piss them off. Also, just to note, I noticed that all of the main characters, with the exception of one, have blue eyes. I guess in some places having them means something deeper than my theory that people will think you're nice and sweet just for having big blue peepers.

Also, I'm having trouble with yahoo. It's not sending some of my messages. So i'm not ignoring people, it's all technology's fault.

Friday, December 20, 2002

Back when SNL was consistently funny, Eddie Murphy played an inmate who had written a poem called "Images". For some reason, I found this the funniest thing and memorized it at the age of 9. I'd forgotten about it until getting kicked out of my old apartment and the current teeth-grinding situation. Now, I'm not about to go out and murder my landlord, but I just found the poem fitting. And it's funnier if you imagine Eddie reciting it.

Dark and lonely on a summer's night.

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Watchdog barking. Do he bite?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Slip in his window. Break his neck.

Then his house I start to wreck.

Got no reason. What the heck?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

C-I-L my land lord!


Guess who isn't moving today or tomorrow, as she was supposed to? Right, ME! Yes, it got pushed back to next Friday and you know what? I am not pleased.

Thursday, December 19, 2002

Remember how I said celebrity activists need to shut up? Well, I'd like to amend that. I'd like those going off on diatribes about the rights and wrongs of war (like Viggo Mortensen has just done for the last 10 minutes on Charlie Rose, making me finally shout "oh just shut up already" even though I agree with some of what he is saying) to be allowed to run the government for a few days. Yes, I want the likes of Charlton Heston and Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon to see what it is like to have the huge responsibility of pleasing all the people in this country and see what they come up with.

If it ain't the politicians trying to convince you, it's the actors/singers/writers pushing their ideas on us. And while everyone has a right to their opinion, I'd really like to see someone do it in a non-condescending manner (Mortensen makes it sound like all Americans are a bunch of idiots, when we really just want all of this to go away just as much as he does. Does he think that just because I'm a copyeditor and not an actor that I am not informed? His beef was that people last year were comparing the Fellowship of the Ring to how Americans were feeling at the time about "fighting evil", and I'm sorry, but it did evoke a few feelings of wanting to do the right thing, not bombing kids like he's saying. OK. The soap box is cracking with Viggo's weight and mine, so I'm going to step off.) and stop acting like we're a bunch of cult followers that they've been hired to deprogram.

In other news, I'm declaring Elijah Wood a sufferer of Big Blue Eyes Syndrome.

And in other news, sometime within the next 48 hours, I should be moving. Should is the key word here. We are in Karen's Moving Universe, after all, and I don't want to jinx it.

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

Some of the pregnant couples they get on A Baby Story are so freaking creepy and nauseating. It's one thing to be excited about your baby and talk to your kids about adjusting, but take your kids to therapy to preapare for a new sibling??? And then the couples who coo and talk sweetly to each other during the labor drive me nuts. Every couple I know wasn't exactly into savoring the moment and making it as Seventh Heaven as possible, more like semi-scared and hoping for a healthy child above all else.

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Des and I are quite enjoying being ladies of leisure. Today, we braved the mall (my third time in three days) where there were way too many baby carriages/strollers, employees in bad moods and deals galore at Old Navy. And Chik-Fil-A (Tonya, did you know they have party platters!!!??? If only it was at the Newport Mall...) for lunch, of course.

And if anyone is looking for a good laugh, I'd suggest watching VH1's I Love the 80s. They got great responses from a wide range of celebrities on all things 80s (The Members Only jacket segment during 1981 was pretty funny in itself) and the era itself is just comedic on its own. Is it me or did the 90s not produce anything pop-culturally exciting, with maybe the exception of Grunge rock and Beanie Babies??? Nothing that compares to The Safety Dance and Smurfs and Atari...

Sunday, December 15, 2002

I don't know what it is about me and alcohol, but even if I have just one (REALLY strong) drink, I can't sleep more than 5 hours that night. So I'm completely wired right now after last night's apple martini at Dexter's b-day celebration. The drink bowled me over so much (and I can handle my alcohol, so this tells you something. So, if you want good, strong drinks, may I recommend Lush on Duane St. in lower Manhattan) that I think I had insta-hangover because I got a headache about two hours after consumption. I had to leave the soiree a bit earlier than I wanted (I'm sure I missed table-dancing or all the other really fun stuff that happens after I leave things) because I wanted to sober up and drive home safely.

Apparently, no one else on the NJ Turnpike was as worried about sobering up as I was because the Alcholic Asshole Brigade was out in full force, one dude (going probably 85 or so)so much as bumping me out of my lane because he didn't realize the one he was in was an exit. So while I was chugging Pepsi and ingesting Dukin Donuts in the Hoboken parking garage, praying that my blood alcohol content was normal, it seems all the other jerks on the road were having a few more rounds.

PS -- Dexter, Vicki, what did my early exit make me miss???

Thursday, December 12, 2002

OK, OK. It's time for everyone to stop whining about smoking/not smoking in New York City bars. I can see both sides of this case. I've said that the mayor's office is completely hypocritical because they claim to be worried about keeping people healthy with clean air, but do nothing about the pollution (especially from city buses) right outside the bars on the street. And as a nonsmoker, I'd feel so much better about coming out of a bar and not having to go home and shower right away just to get the smoky stink out of my hair (not to mention not having a sore throat and chest the next morning from the second hand shit). So my solution to all of this? Both sides, stop whining. Because you're not hearing each other and not making a good case for yourselves.

Bloomberg and Co.: Stop whining that bartenders' health is at risk. We all know you're control freaks and this is your way of flexing that muscle. If you were really concerned about people's health, you'd be doing more about the air pollution over all, and anyway, won't there be more people at risk on the streets with all the people smoking outside of bars?

Smokers: stop whining that it's winter and too cold outside to smoke. You're not exactly coming across as the righteous side when you say this. Wussy is more like it. You smoke while walking the streets (and litter the sidewalk with butts, but that's another rant), and will go outside of your offices to smoke in 10-degree weather, but you can't put your beer down for five minutes to take a few drags outside?
Thank you, Mike Lupica for hitting the Pete Rose nail on the head.

Also, is Selig trying to win some kind of popularity contest? I think he wants to be known as the greatest commisioner ever. I have news for him -- the only reason a strike was averted was because 1)it was only a year after Sept. 11 and 2)both sides knew the fans weren't going to take their shit anymore. It has nothing to do with his smarts as a leader, no matter what he wants to believe.

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

I think someone I know is celebrating a big birthday today...hmm. No, not Jermaine Jackson...Not Donna Mills...oh yeah, it's Dexter, and he's turning the big 3-0! Happy b-day, Dex!!

And I'm wondering if Janeane Garofalo watches the same news I'm watching. Last night, she was on some show complaining that the media doesn't cover people who want to keep the peace instead of going to war with Iraq. Every time I turn on the news, I see people protesting, or having a 'die in' or something to that effect. And as I usually do when I see protests of any kind, I have to wonder if these people have jobs that they can afford to get arrested and miss work for a few days...

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

AUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH.....Three, count 'em, THREE news copters are circling overhead right now. I keep expecting Dan Rather to walk by in fatigues and announce "From Vietnam, this is CBS news."

The first helicopter left last night at 11:30, after the NBC (not Fox and Penny, but just as annoying) newscast. Yes, I had my sleep interrupted an hour because it was a slow news day. And this morning, the two other copters joined it for some pre-dawn hovering at 5:30, a half hour before I usually get up. My dad is wants to call the networks to tell them off, because, really, does the rest of the world care if my neighborhood has been half evacuated (the one thing I can't complain about for my family, thankfully) and that the street is almost completely gone?

Wait, oh my god, I think they're gone! It just got very quiet. I hope somebody came and shooed them out...

Monday, December 09, 2002

You know what's worse than not being able to shower or flush the toilet when a nearby water main breaks? The helicopters. Yes, there's one circling so low over my neighborhood right now, I can hear the blades whooshing. It woke me up from the first early slumber I was getting in a while. And so help me, if it's the Fox Channel 5 News crew, and Penny Crone is reporting, I will throw something at it.

The flooding is going on literally two blocks away and it looks really bad. It's cut off water to a huge chunk of town. All the houses on the street got flooded and I'm not banking on having any H2O anytime soon. My parents decided to bring in some snow from outside and melt it in the bathtub (a very funny moment in the Bischer House, especially when my mom started heating the snow in soup pot) so we can at least have some water to flush the toilet.

Oh lord, now the damn helicopter is hovering over one spot and really starting to piss me off...
The only thing I kept thinking last night during the Sopranos was that I hoped a nice big fictional Hurricane would hit Sea Bright and wipe out their new house (especially since it would probably get flooded in the first torrential downpour) and the smarmy-ass lawyer's house. Why? Because both are obnoxious WEBS and we don't need any more of them!

Sunday, December 08, 2002

So help me God, if you are a spammer and reading my blog only to send me your junkass mail, don't do it. Especially if you have the 'click here to be removed from this list' thing going only to not have it work (usually because you provide a fake e-mail address). By law, you are supposed to have a means for people to be removed and if you're reported enough (which I do every so often), well, I could only hope you get shut down.

If you're part of this annoyance to make money, please get a real job. Do you REALLY think I'm that much of an idiot to buy something from an ad I received via e-mail? I have a mind of my own. Stop wasting your time and mine.

Friday, December 06, 2002

Dude, my friends need to start getting blogs. Because I go on all these other people's blogs and they look so smug, with all the links to their friends' sites. It kind of pisses me off, like "ooh, we're so cool becuase we were all English majors who think our writing is hot shit so here's links to all of us ." And I know my friends are NOTHING like the pretentious English majors I hate (and never was, thankfully. When our professors would ask "so what did this-old-dead author mean when they wrote this?" and all these whacky ideas got spewed back, I would say "Maybe they just meant what they wrote and there's no deeper meaning." Professors hate this response.) and their opinions need to be out there in the world. Only Hollis (Grad school and working) and Amy (new baby) have a viable excuse for not keeping one.

So here's your weekend assignment, amigos. Go to blogger.com, pitas.com, livejournal.com, whatever, and start writing down your thoughts.

Thursday, December 05, 2002

My office is nuts right now because they're letting us leave at 3:30 -- and it's DEADLINE DAY. This is monumental, people. When the announcement came down, it was actually met with laughter -- the disbelieving kind. Because we NEVER get to leave early. When my partner heard the office was closing his response was "What office?" Let it snow, Let it snow!

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

For some of the best comedy this year (and most of it unintentional) give MTV's True Life: I'm Getting Married a watch. From the Staten Island/Italian groom threatening to "cut" and "gut" (he actually screeches the words "Do you know who I am?", so he's either watched way too much of the Sopranos or he really is mafioso) his not-so-punctual limo driver to the fashion-showesque commitment ceremony reception for a gay couple in Ohio to the Florida bride who gets her cake changed semi-last minute because of a bad dream (and doesn't understand why she's charged double), it's hysterical. And if I ever dream of spending 100,000 bucks on my nuptials, smack me. Hard.

Monday, December 02, 2002

Can someone PLEASE tell me why I have such rotten luck when it comes to moving? In an effort to contain my anger, I am putting together a list of events to support my case. I hope my readers understand where my angst is coming from.

1)8/97-8/99 I have the space cadet leader of landlords. She accuses each of my roommates and myself of not paying rent at some point during our time there. When we explain that we paid, she finds the rent check a few hours later. She stuffs our water bills in our doorway, usually on windy days (the bill flies away unnoticed), then she demands to know why we haven't paid our bill. When we reply we never received a bill, and several others in the complex do the same, she never bothers to figure out a new way of giving us the bill.

In this apartment we have the exploding toilet; the leaking toilet; the gas leak; the spontaneously combusting bush; the heat breaking down both winters; the dishwasher and garbage disposal ceasing to work; the crappiness of the rugs (which were pure shit when we moved in) getting blamed on us, and when we pay the money out of our security deposit to get new rugs, they are not replaced for the new tenants.

2) The Astoria apartment hunt -- I get rejected from one place because the landlord thinks I don't make enough (when I really make more than enough to live on). I put down money on another only to be told that the landlord promised it to someone else. I put down money on a place only to be told that the realtor wants his 875 dollar fee, plus the security deposit IN CASH. They give me a hard time for being hesitant. When I demand my money back (screaming), saying their dealings are shady and I'm not carrying THAT MUCH cash in my pocket in New York City, I get laughed at and cursed at and told that they're glad they didn't have "someone like you" living with this saint of a landlord.

3)3/00-7/01 I have the lacking-in-English speaking landlord who stomps across his hardwood floor and plays the fiddle above my bedroom every Saturday and Sunday morning at 7 a.m. Also in this apartment, I have three floods (which the landlord says is because of on my using toilet paper and tells me not to use it anymore); no cable service for 3 months; recycling craziness; a fire in my microwave; and finally getting asked if I would mind moving because landlord's son needs to move into my apartment. Now, these people were very nice, for the most part, but you can't tell me they had kicking me out in mind after making 12,000 bucks off me from the beginning.

3)The bastard movers 7/01 -- I hired them a month in advance. They promised to be at my apartment at 9 a.m. They don't show up till 6 p.m. As I call to hound them several times during the day, the dispatcher gets pissy with me. Yes, he gets angry with me because they were stupid enough to book two moves in one day at the SAME TIME. I am now wary of movers.

4) The current situation ????? -- I've been *patiently* waiting to move to Hoboken for over a year now. When my roommates and I finally got on the ball in September and found a place almost instantly, I was psyched. We knew it wouldn't be ready for the original Oct. 1 moving day, and when the landlord said it would then be Nov. 1, we didn't have a problem with it. What day is it today? Oh, right, Dec. 2. The fact that I have to hire movers (again, mucho wary) on short notice and take the final vacation days I've been hoarding before my boss leaves for Christmas vacation is not helping matters. NJ Transit, guys who aren't interested in girls who live "far away", jobs who want you to come in early and stay, late not knowing about NJ Transit's unreliableness; wanting to hang out in NY but having to catch the last train out, etc. only aggravate this even more.

So can all of you out there please clap really hard, and maybe I'll get some moving good luck?
I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G. I HATE PSE&G.

Three guesses as to who is holding up my move today....
I'm overhearing co-workers discuss why fake Christmas trees are better than real ones and I'm still not convinced. For all the trouble a fake tree saves, it's so much nicer to have the real, slightly crooked variety in your living room. Even my mom ditched the fake tree in the dining room for a real one. I guess what it comes down to is how much time you can devote to your tree...a.k.a how lazy you are. I'm sorry, but watering it every day isn't THAT hard. And the "mess" of pine needles can easily be sucked up with a vacuum. And don't give me the "fire hazzard" crap. If you don't put the tree next to the fireplace and don't use it as an ashtray it won't burn down the house. In my book, the only times it's acceptable to go fake is if you want your tree up for two months or you're an environmentalist or if you're allergic to pine or sap or whatever. What can I say? I'm a traditionalist.

Can someone explain why CEOs never blame themselves for employees being laid-off? Like, when they say something along the lines of 'some people LEFT because of cutbacks,' isn't that a bit of a lie?

Another day, another Apartmentless day...

Sunday, December 01, 2002

Ring Ring Ring
Karen: Hello?
Apartment: Oh Karen, I really am lonely and would very much like you, Des and Carolyn to inhabit me and make me pretty with your furniture and decorations.
Karen: Well, Apartment, I'd like nothing better. But in this crazy reality we call Karen's Move, nothing goes according to plan.
Apartment: Isn't there anything you can do?
Karen: Unless you want me to physically threaten my landlord, the Hoboken housing inspector and GPU, I'd say it's out of my hands.
Apartment: Sigh. I really would like some tenants. It's so sad to be empty. The other three apartments feel the same way.
Karen: Don't worry, Apartment, we'll be there sometime before the next millenium.

*****
I'd say I got a lot accomplished this weekend. I built my own bookcase (well, I didn't saw the wood, but I hammered and used a screw driver and cursed a lot and put the thing together) and painted it (with crackle paint to give it that "weathered"/chabby chic look) and I still don't have enough space for my books. I guess I'll have to get another one...

And I finally saw Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and I must say it was better than the first, which I also enjoyed. I think as the books get kind of darker and the kids get older, the story is deeper. And since the the guy who did the recent, very good version of A Little Princess is on board to direct the next movie, I'd say there's more to look forward to. Now if only the next book would come out...

Thursday, November 28, 2002

A major shout out to WPIX who rebroadcasted old episodes of The Magic Garden today, following a reunion special. The show was a huge part of my childhood, as it was for most kids in the NYC metro area and to see it again after like 20 years was so amusing. It totally made my day.

Apartment. Still not living there. So not happy.

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Clear sign that I 1) have a subconcious contempt for NJ Transit and 2) I need my ears cleaned out: Last night, Vicki and I were walking to Penn Station, and she was on the phone with Dexter. This is what I heard her say: "KB has to catch the old dirty train..." I started laughing because I thought that was the pefect way to describe it. Vicki looked at me kind of funny. Because what she really said was "KB has to catch the 11:30 train."

Can someone please tell me why some people say "So I says..."or should I say "So I sez..." Now, I may be a copy editor, but I'm not a stickler for grammar. But this makes my skin crawl. Sez is not a word, people....

Apartment-o, Apartment-o, where fore art thou Apartment-o?

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

It's November 26. WHERE IS MY APARTMENT??????

As if tomorrow's commute home won't be bad enough (Thanksgiving WEBS, don't you know), we have the "storm of the century" coming, a whopping 3 inches of snow! It's only been in the past few years that the local news teams get all hyper over weather, and therefore blow everything out of proportion. Remember the 24 inches we were supposed to get two years ago and we got NOTHING? It's one thing to be wrong, but to hype it up and then be wrong is just annoying. I guarantee that every channel will have reporters stationed all over the tri-state area, because you know, nobody can look outside their window and see how much snow is falling.

Monday, November 25, 2002

I only have one thing to say about this whole Augusta no-women policy thing -- if it were a man of any other race than caucasian not being admitted, all hell would break loose. The sponsors would have backed away immediately and CBS would say something. But because women are in a majority, it is still OK to not include them and not lambaste them for it. Let's face it, the men at this club are sexist pigs, remnants of the Old South, and want to keep their little clubhouse free of womenfolk. They don't stand for the majority of men, thank god, but when you have sports writers, analysts and fans defending this type of bias (one of my favorite sports writers says it's OK because this is their last bastion to keep a male bonding thing sacred. Oh, please, a woman playing through isn't going to impede on much ball-scratching time), it makes my stomach turn. Just substitute a black or Asian man for a woman here and tell me if that's right. It's wrong to discriminate, PERIOD. Why can't people get this through their fat heads?

Thursday, November 21, 2002

Thanks to Star Jones for reminding Aaron that East Coast people don't find it strange when a woman is 27, single and not saddled down with three children, unlike his mother who seemed to find this notion shocking. And I'd also like his stuck-in-the-1950s family to know that women can have tattoos and its not a sign of the devil or something. I swear, when Brooke said she had one, you know they were thinking it was like a heart with barbed-wire around it, scrawled with the intitials of an old boyfriend. Or like a big cheetah standing on a cliff, holding a cub in it's mouth.

And note to the happy couple -- it seems like geography is going to be an issue for you two. Maybe over the course of you're engagement you'll learn to compromise, like most people do when they're just dating.

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

This is a hoot:
A coalition of religious and environmental groups is launching a "What Would Jesus Drive?" campaign Wednesday, hoping to get people to switch to more fuel-efficient cars.

Tonya and I ruminated the topic for a moment. Forgetting the fact that the man drove a mule, not a Ford Explorer, I said that Jesus would be breaking the law by driving barefoot if he had decided to, while Tonya says he'd totally be a mass transit guy, which I can see. He'd always get a seat on the subway -- would you want to be the one refusing a seat to your lord and savior? (I bet even Jesus would find some of that "Poetry in Motion" just plain confusing). No cab driver would have the guts to charge him a fare, and if he was commuting to Northern NJ or the outer boros, he could just walk across the Hudson and East Rivers, thus avoiding the rush-hour crunch. So Jesus, if living in the NY area, could do without a car just fine, and isn't that fuel efficient?


Well, the apartment is for all inents and purposes, finished. Just a few details to be added here and there. The thing that's holding it up is getting our heat and electric meters installed, and then having someone to come inspect. So god only knows when I'll be moving.

On the way home last night, Des and I were listening to Christmas carols, and we hear the Christina Aguilera version of "The Christmas Song" which was recorded a few years ago. Anyway, we noted how much more "urban" Christina thinks she is now than she was back then and that the lyrics of the song would have come out so much different if she'd recorded it now. Like, instead of "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire," she'd opt for "Like yo yo yo, dos chestnuts wuz roastin' on an open flame, a'ight." And then there'd be some gangster rapper guest-star (though Eminem would work best) doing in the whole "Dey know dat Santa's on his merry mother- f*#%ing way" part...

Friday, November 15, 2002

Because of the "spectacular" terrorist threat (why am I picturing Ice Capades when I see that word and not bombs dropping and lots of death? Anyway.), they just passed around our emergency contact sheet here at the office for our approval. OK, they didn't say that was the reason, but you know that's what it is. I've never understood this concept. Yeah, like, if we're running for our lives someone will REALLY stay behind and call all of our loved ones to tell them we're OK...
Why did Michael Jackson have to go and get so weird? I mean, the man made some of the best dance songs of our generation and now he's a laughingstock, which is his own fault. What is it about being a celebrity that makes people act so freaking whacko?

The Village Voice gave Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets an OK review. I think I'm going to faint.

And I am mucho pissed offo that every day since Nov. 1, the day I was SUPPOSED to move, my train has been 10-45 minutes late every morning. This moving limbo so sucks, let me tell you...

Thursday, November 14, 2002

Tonya just got me revved up over Bloomberg's commuter tax plan. His whole excuse that commuters use city services is complete bullshit. Because, as Tonya puts it, our company is probably playing a nice sum of money for our 1) cleaning people to take out the garbage and 2)paying a regular tax like everyone else who lives here to have the city take away said garbage. Also, isn't a huge chunk of the money made by city businesses coming out of commuter's pockets already? At the very least restaurants and delis are benefiting from me when I need my breakfast and lunch, Duane Reade when I need Advil, Hallmark when I need a birthday card... Mikey-poo, you can count on me bringing my lunch from now on if this tax goes into effect. And I'll shop in NJ for whatever I need. And forget buying another MetroCard (some commuters pay the 60 bucks for a monthly, don't forget) -- I'll just walk wherever I have to go. To paraphrase Tonya, who works in this city to make it the world business superpower that it is? Um....

Oh, and let's not even discuss the notion of an Olympics in this area because we all now know that the money for it is nonexistent and that any money made off it won't fill in the hole, starting off another cycle of debt...

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

New Pet Peeve:
Delis that sell chicken noodle soup with, not noodles, but spaghetti. Firstly, it doesn't taste as good and secondly, you can't eat spaghetti with a spoon nor soup with a fork, so it's a no-win situation. Thick noodles is the answer. Somebody please listen.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

I'm not sure I agree with the placing of VH1's 100 Love Songs (numbers 1 and 3 kinda piss me off because they're recent) but some deserve big shout outs. I mean, How Deep is Your Love is in the Top 20, a classic cheese song, but so deserving. Des, her Big Sis Liz and I used to say we were going to walk around in circles and sing it, just like the Bee Gees do in the video, to freak people out. And Frank made it with Fly Me to the Moon, which is bordering on cliche, but at least it wasn't The Way You Look Tonight. And You Don't Bring Me Flowers -- woo-hoo! That, coupled with It Must've Been Love are two of my fondest college memories, usually involving a sing-along session.

And sorry, but these electronic phonics books kids have are no match for Speak and Spell and Speak and Math. Texas Instruments of the 80s could kick anyone's ass any day.
Like Dr. Phil, the Chicken is tired of playing a supporting role. So, Ladies and Gentleman, I give you his own advice column, Dear Chicken.
In "Well Duh" news for today, British researchers are saying that smoking pot on a consistent basis is worse for the lungs than smoking cigarrettes on a consistent basis. Would the filter/no filter thing be a dead give away???

And speaking of cigarettes, we just had one of our 'is-there-a-fire-or-isn't-there' alarms, where we're all stuck waiting for the evacuater person to answer our 'red phone' and no one does, so we make the decision to tramp down 10 floors to safety. Well, there was no fire, but there was a hot FDNY fireman downstairs scoping out the scene. When we got the 'oh-sorry-no-fire-our-bad-for-making-you-scared' OK, hottie fireman lit up a cigarette. I just found this funny -- a smoking smokin' fireman. The irony is endless.


Monday, November 11, 2002

You know, Eve is a total wench for biting that apple. Because of her, we're supposed to suffer in child birth and I'm sure God decided to take that to the next level and provide us with cramps once a month. I am suffering today. I want to beat Eve up.

And I want to beat up aggressive drivers. And NJ Transit (40 minutes late today). And whoever is slowing up the process with my apartment. But actually, I'd just settle for my bed and a nice long nap right now.

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

Only five minutes into The Bachelor and he's pissed me off by insinuating that his wife should stay home and raise his children. And the worst part is Helene seemed to agree with him to sell herself to him. It's one thing if that's her conviction, but I really think she said it to please him. Ugh.

And I've noticed on a lot of message boards that people are talking about Helene's "Jersey" accent. FYI -- she has a Philly accent. Everyone I knew from the Philadelphia area talks the way she does. Just listen to the way she says "Family" and you'll know what I'm talking about.

OK, I have to take a shower because I feel dirty for watching him make out with three women he claims to have deep feelings for. Tool.
They're remaking A Summer Place? Dude! You can't mess with classics! It has to be one of the most corny/unintentionally funny movies ever made. Just to hear Sandra Dee utter the lines "I washed my hair for you Johnny" and be dead serious while holding onto this hat that covers her entire face except for the built-in sunglasses is..unremakeable! Granted, it could be interesting, but would be so lacking in the 'oooh-we-can't-say-that-because-it's-the-50s' department. Like the scene where Sandra's character is telling her dad she likes to dance around topless in front of her window and feels naughty about it -- you can't write stuff like that nowadays!
It's a good thing I didn't want to vote yesterday. Because of working late and train delays, I didn't have time to get to the polls even if I wanted to because NJ polls close at 8. Supposedly, only 37 percent of the voters from my town turned out yesterday, and maybe the fact that most of the people work in NY and don't get home until late is the reason. So, what's my beef? Why is it we only get off for presidential elections, and even that's iffy. Something that's supposed to be so important, our right to vote, is limited to 14 hours. Let's see, I'm away from my house 12-14 hours a day. How am I supposed to vote, again???

I'm reading the second book in the Princess Diaries series (for research and for fun. Teen fiction is so less depressing than Oprah's Book Club and more complex than the books Kelly Ripa recommends), thinking that since I saw the movie, I wouldn't have to read the first book. Well, I'm going to have to because I think Disney just stole the name from the book and made their own god-awful movie. The second book is so much smarter than the movie and and SOOOOOO much was changed for the screen. I get the feeling Disney just wanted a "Cinderella-makeover" story (remember curly hair = bad, straight hair = good) to make a buck. Note to self: If my books ever make it and someone wants to make a movie out of them, Disney is allowed nowhere near them.

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Thank god it's Election Day -- I was getting pretty fed up with all the mudslinging going on via telelvision ads, especially when they came one after the other after the other. But some of them were unintentionally funny with their dramatic music (think soap-opera-villain-about-to-kill-someone music) and the most scathing quotes imaginable about the candidate. My favorite are the ones that accuse the person running of being against environmental protection and they show what looks like a sewer running off into a little stream, in black-and-white. The horrors!!! Like, why hasn't the candidate supporting this ad run to the EPA and reported this sad little sewer and stream pollution? Oh that's right, because it's fake. After a while, you can see how things are twisted around to make the candidates rival look better. It's so sad.

We saw the apartment last night and it looks to be coming along. It's bigger than I expected and Carolyn and I found a great pizza place around the block. We can't move in for a little while longer, though. Ugh. We have to move soon, before I find anymore quilts and sheets that I like...

Sunday, November 03, 2002

Moment for me to sound like an old fogey -- Nick Carter sounds NOTHING like Jay Black....

And if New York gets the 2012 Olympics and I'm still working there, I'm taking those two weeks off. It's bad enough with summer tourists in the city NOW. It would be cool, though, to see a few events. If they're affordable, that is. But what really bothers me about this prospect is the fact that they may use this as an excuse to build a new Yankee Stadium. I'd really like to smack "I'm-such-a-hero-and-big-Yankees-fan-so-do-what-I-say" Rudy Giulliani for ever entering this thought into anyone's mind....

Friday, November 01, 2002

I think I am a bonafide expert on chick-lit. That is, books that are targeted at the Sex and the City-loving, single twenty-and thirtysomething female. The sad thing about this trend is that the books are all following the same formula and getting crappy results. Such as:

-- The main character works in Publishing or PR and is unappreciated at the office. She may be laid off sometime in the book
-- she has the reqiusite insecure girlfriend, married/dating seriously girlfriend and one gay male friend.
--she smokes
--she's trying to diet
--she lives in either New York or London
--she dates someone who is bad for her only to be rescued by a nice guy she usually blows off early in the book. He may even be her best guy friend.
--her parents are nutjobs
--she and all her friends will find true love in the end.
--she will have the best sex of her life with her new soul mate. Or the bad guy.
--she just bought a one bedroom condo and drives a crappy car
--she is only happy while dating

Now, I love Bridget Jones because Helen Fielding used a sense of humor with it. And since she waas kind of the intro to all this, her stuff isn't cliche. Even if it came out today, she has the cliche requisites, but does stuff with them that the reader won't expect. Marian Keyes only went too cliche once with Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married but her other books rock and Anna Maxted did well with Getting Over It. Other than that, I can't recommend another chick book. Some of the worst offenders of force-fed cliches: Jemima J., Party Girls, Bad Boy, Running In Heels. And those are the ones I can just remember off the top of my head...

Never, even in the good books, is there a mention about these girls enjoying being single, which is just sad. Then again, we all want the happy ending, so if she falls in love realistically, I might cut it some slack. Falling in love is great, but it doesn't happen for everyone and I'm so tired of people trying to force it on themselves because they don't want to be alone. I think these books only foster that notion, which kind of worries me, but then again, I've read them and I'm not about to start doing "8-minute Dating" just because the main character has found true love...

Thursday, October 31, 2002

Scary thought for Halloween -- the creepy stalker guy, (masquerading as nice but really he's got a shrine of all the girls who have rejected him in his uber-creepy bedroom.) that every girl has in her life. You don't have to be Pamela Anderson to have one. All you have to do is be nice once, and so starts the 'can't-take-the-hint-even-if-I-blatantly-ignore-you' syndrome. And I'm not talking about the sweet, shy, likes you from afar guy. I'm talking about the 'yeah she wants me to pursue her even if she hasn't spoken to me for a week' types. Admit it. You know one. For just one year, I'd like to go without one...
Merry Christmas! Yes, I know it's Halloween, but they were stringing up Christmas lights in Herald Square, so I'm assuming Tis the season to be jolly.

I hope to god kids still get to celebrate Halloween in schools. From what I'm hearing, the overly-political correctness of the day has now stopped the nation's youth from even uttering the word Halloween in some schools. Case in point -- I was at Old Navy a few weeks ago and a mother was holding up two Halloween-print shirts for her daughter's approval. She said "We'll get you one of these for Black-and-Orange Day at school." Black-and-Orange Day???? Please, if you're going to a religous school or something that is anti Satan, I can understand not 'celebrating' the 'evil day'. But in public schools, it's like the only holiday that all kids can be part of together, as no religion tells you you can't dress up and get cupcakes and play games. At least that's how it was in my day, all of 15 years ago. Because when we thought Halloween, we weren't thinking of the occult, sacraficing the neighbors cat or chanting spells to make bad things happen -- we were thinking of how much fun it was to vote on the best costume, how much candy we'd get and freaking ourselves out going to the local hermit's house for trick-or-treating.

I swear to god, people make kids sound like they're inherently evil and giving them a costume of Sponge Bob Square Pants will bring out the serial killer in them or worse, let them have fun. Sigh.

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

Here's that story on the Voice vs. Voice. Note that the sentence I was thinking of used the term 'good will associated' with the NY version. Ha!!!!
Just when I thought the NY Village Voice couldn't get more pretentious, it sues a small Cape Cod newspaper with the word Voice in it's title because they feel it's some kind of infringement. Um, has the NY Times sued the LA Times lately, the Washinton Post sued the New York Post? And the scary thing is, this isn't the first time it's happened -- they sued a Kansas City newspaper for using the word Voice, and ended up paying them off to remove it! Puh-lease. I wish I could find the "cease and desist" letter they've sent this paper because it mentions something about the good news they spread, when really they're a bunch of negative asses.

I've only ever liked the Voice for a few columns, but on the whole it always aggravates me in some way. Their blatant eye-rolling for anyone who likes being an American or takes pride in living here; the fact that they hate every "mainstream" movie or album to come out; the fact that they seem to pat themselves on the back for being so politically correct, yet have half naked women prancing around their classified section advertising prostitution. I mean escort services.

I hope the Cape Cod paper sticks to its guns, because if this does become a court case, I can only hope it will result in the NY Voice getting knocked off its high horse in some sort of way. Because, really, who has the right to own a word?

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

Thank you, Kevin Kernan, for voicing all that was wrong with this year's World Series.

OK, men of NJ Transit, since I'll only be enjoying your company for a few more weeks I must tell you something -- brush your teeth. And cover your mouth. I can't tell you how many times I've had Mr. Cocky Businessman sitting next to me, and he'll have the worst breath known to man and decide to yawn every five seconds. Big Yawns. Yawns with sound effects. It has to stop. Think of yawning like coughing -- you're supposed to cover your mouth so you don't spread germs. Germs escape (with the bad breath) when you yawn, too, so keep that in mind.

Friday, October 25, 2002

After seeing the vote from CNNSI.com about what is the best thing about this World Series, and the number one vote-getter being "No Yankees", I'd just like to say to all you who voted for it -- Up yours.Especially to those of you who were rooting for them last year in a 'show of support' for New York. What, you were secretly wishing they weren't there while rooting for them at the same time? Pick a stance, Sybil.

You know what creeps me out more than scary movies and witches and goblins? Fan Fiction. Something about it just worries me. I guess it's the idea of someone being into a TV/Movie/Book character so much that they feel the need to re-write endings or make new beginnings that gets me -- as someone who writes her own original stuff, though, I think it might kind of humorous to see an addict's take on your own creation. But then I picture someone with a crazed look in their eye, hunched over a desk, writing by candlelight, thinking that I'm a complete idiot for not writing my characters to their fullest potential and that they can do better. Whatever floats your boat, I guess...but it still creeps me out.

Thursday, October 24, 2002

So I'm not giving much credence to Master Card's most memorable baseball moments for several reasons:

1)They gave out those damn ThunderStix at the game -- I'm not sure if the Giants fans had them before, but last night, they had the Master Card Most Memorable Moment logo on them, as if they were given to fans to use during the ceremony. The new face of baseball meeting it's history -- ThunderStix are the new The Brooklyn Dodger Symphony Band...I swear this was the exact thought going through the mind of some hot-shot at Master Card. And he/she should be hung by his/her toenails (and the ThunderStix inventor) just like the person who invented the Wave and thought up Macarena Night at the ballpark.

2)People put Pete Rose in the top 10: I can deal with this, but that they were shouting "Hall of Fame" makes me sick. Stop martyring the jerk, for crying out loud. Jim Caple of ESPN makes a
great argument for letting Pete in the Hall -- make him apologize first.

3)During the ceremony, Ray Liotta and Andy Garcia decided to scream every top-ten vote-getter (probably because Master Card told them to), because you know, Hank Aaron's homer and stuff like that isn't exciting enough on its own. Puh-lease.

4)Where the hell was Bobby Thomson's Shot Heard Round the World? I was 26 years away from being born when it happened, but it gives me chills every time I see it/hear it. And Mays' catch. And Maris' homer. And Fisk's homer. And Larsen's perfect game in the WS. Now, I'm one of those who hates the whole 'well, back in my day baseball was better' thing, but these were huge moments that meant something in game-play.

Sigh. I hope we don't have to deal with anything like this for a LONG time. I'm so sick of baseball and Master Card forcing me to "realize" how great the game is. Note to sponsors: The All-Century team was enough. So stop shoving this history appreciating down everyone's throat and stop patting yourself on the back because the real fans were "appreciating" the game long before you tried to make in en vogue.

And note to Aaron, the Bachelor, who was bowled over by Gwen's philosophy of 'Work like you don't need to, Love like you've never been hurt and Dance like no one is watching' -- do you ever read your e-mail? I get this forward like twice a month. I swear he thought she came up with that on her own, he was so impressed...idiot.


Tuesday, October 22, 2002

Best quote about the sniper: my co-worker, aghast that he keeps eluding the police, "What the hell? Is he flying around in Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang?"

Monday, October 21, 2002

Don't you just love the office town crier? Every office I've worked in has one. And it's always been a man, which is odd because the stereotype is that women thrive on gossip and men think it's stupid. But here (and the other places I've worked in) it's the one dude who really has no life and lives to spill out the words "did you hear the news?" Even if it's lame news. Or untrue news. Or news that you heard six hours ago and isn't news to you anymore. The best is when you do know what's going on and the town crier has his facts wrong and you try to correct him on it. Then he will argue to the death with you on it because he is the town crier and therefore "informed."


And has Barry Bonds' head gotten fatter or is it just me? And I don't mean figuratively. The man looks like a human sausage. Steroids will do that.

Friday, October 18, 2002

Pet Peeve of the day: Celebrity activists. Like, can you please spew your political venom elsewhere? Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, Harry Belafonte (even if my dad blasts your music while hanging wall paper), et al -- SHUT UP! It's bad enough we have politicians of every party tooting thier own horns over what's right and wrong. And just because you're a democrat or in the green party or holier-than-thou, it doesn't nulify the fact that you're RICH like the dreaded, gasp, REPUBLICANS. When you start turning down big money for movie rolls, record deals or whatever, then we'll talk about how aware you are of the common man. Until then, please go away.

The other night, Vicki and I were debating bitches we know and whether their behavior is acceptable or not. Vicki (one of the best judges of character I know) brought up the point that insecurity is a leading cause in bitchiness (and I mean long-term bitchiness, not "I'm-having-a-bad-day-I'll-apologize-later-for-my-actions" bitchiness) and that maybe we should overlook it or cut these people some slack because of that. At that moment that seemed like something I can deal with, but a few days later, I'm changing my stance. Sorry bitches, there is no excuse for your behavior. Men and women bitches alike. Especially when you make people feel like crap (I'm speaking of work-place bitches in particular) because you're the one feeling insecure. No, it's not accpetable. Here's why:

-- There are plenty of insecure people in the world. Whether it's with looks, the opposite sex, family problems or just dealing with people in social situations, I think almost everyone has expereineced it at some point. But to be a bitch and use "insecurity" as a crutch is just wrong. Because the majority of insecure people are nice and humane. You're a bitch because you want to be, plain and simple.

--It's one thing to realize you're being a bitch and then apologize for it. When we're kids we're told treat others as you want to be treated, that other people have feelings too, etc. Bitches don't seem to realize this and think the world revolves around them and humiliate when they think it's necessary. Tell me how I'm supposed to feel sorry for this?

--Bitchy behavior isn't a disease -- it's not like depression or social anxiety -- it can be stopped.

--Now, I know there is a root to the bitchy behavior and maybe there's something so horrible in their past that makes them behave this way. But, like I said before, there are plenty of people who have had something bad happen to them and don't take it out on other people. If something that bad happened to you anyway, you should be seeking help, not making others feel like crap.

--Bitchy behavior is allowed because there are nice people out there like Vicki and myself who try to walk in these people's shoes and see where they're coming from. After 25 years of doing so, I'm stopping myself from doing this. I'm sure there are some reformed bitches on the planet, but the majority I know aren't going through an Ebeneezer Scrooge-like change because they think they're in the right. And there's no changing someone who doesn't want to.

So, in conclusion, sorry, bitches, I'm not putting up with your shit anymore.

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

So it's good to know the Fox broadcasts are just as shameful for other teams as they are for the Yankees. Last night, I had the game on in the background while I was cleaning when the 'controversial interference' play happened at third base. Now, it was a bad play, but as always, Tim and Joe have to harp on it for at least two innings making it sound like the biggest travesty to hit baseball since the Black Sox scandal. I flip away for a little while to watch MTV's FM Nation (more on that later) and when I come back, they're STILL analyzing the play, this time with someone who sounds like Steve Palermo. My question is (since I didn't see the whole game) if it was Steve, did he just happen to be there, or did Fox hire him for bad umping situations and they used it for major announcer whining action last night. If so, that's stupid. Palermo is a cool dude and he's very competent behind the mike, but we don't need an ump's take on every thing, especially since McCarver and Buck would be whining about it for the rest of the game regardless of what the rule book said. I hope this isn't Fox's latest gimmick... Please, someone, take back baseball when Fox's contract runs out!!!

OK, FM Nation. What can I say except there are annoying people on that, too! But in a good way because you can laugh at the three bimbos who get their friend to participate in a wet T-shirt, only to have her whine beyond belief when she gets burned with 'scalding hot water'. They're totally drunk, so that makes them even more stupid, and they re-enact every closing time at a college bar by trying to take on the bouncer in a self-righteous, drunken arguement. You can't get this stuff with scripted television. And just to note, the whiny one in the wet T-shirt is studying to be a history teacher. She'd better be teaching kids with no TVs, because man, what student is going to take her seriously after seeing that. Ha!

Sunday, October 13, 2002

Remember how in 2000 there were so many people complaining that a Mets/Yankees World Series would be detrimental to the game because no one outside the NY area would care? Let's hope someone says the same thing if the Giants and Angels (both California teams, both WILD CARD TEAMS. Ugh) make it this year. If we don't hear it, we know one thing for sure -- people just love to hate New York. Or its sports teams, anyway.

Friday, October 11, 2002

I'm so tired of men who don't take women sports fans seriously. Thankfully, I've had more guys be impressed by me than those who just shrug me off. Unfortunately, excluding my dad and his best friend (who sat me in front of the TV during the 1977 World Series in the hopes I'd bring the Yankees luck) they're mostly my age. So that means there's a whole older generation of ball-scratching, beer-chugging males who think that sports ain't no place for dang women. And many just happen to be 1)athletes 2)sportswriters. This is just sad. Take for example, this ultrasexist quote by Jack Morris, that was listed among one of my favorite sportswriter's "favorite" quotes:

"The only time I want to talk to a woman when I'm naked is if I'm on top of her or she's on top of me."

If anyone has seen Jack Morris, you'd know he's not someone women go running after, so he should've been content with female sportswriters even talking to him. Anway.

I think it's because men can use sports as a way to make themselves look smarter that they pull this bullshit. When a non-sports fan woman walks into a room and goes 'Honey, how many home runs did the Patiots score?' he can explain to her about touchdowns and feel superior, then laugh to his buddies about it. Ah, but with a woman who knows the game just as well as he does, he has nothing to look smarter about. That's why the old guys sometimes drag out the 'well, I don't get how people can be fans of a sport they never played'. That means 'how can anyone without a jockstrap understand the nuances of sports?' Oh, please.

So I guess my theory is the old geezers hate that women are treading on their 'territory'. Sigh. Once they realize we're there to like the game and not to ruin their guy time the better off they'll be.
1. If you could only choose 1 cd to ever listen to again, what would it be?
Ah, since you can burn CD mixes now, this question is easy. It would have to have Sinatra, Bruce, Madonna, some cheezy 80s love songs, some cheezy 80s upbeat songs, the Beatles, the Beach Boys, Janet Jackson, Beethoven and disco

2. If you could only choose 2 movies to watch ever again, what would they be?
The Producers and Sense and Sensibility

3. If you could only choose 3 books to read ever again, what would they be?
Just as Long as We're Together, by Judy Blume, A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving and Bridget Jones' Diary by Helen Fielding

4. If you could only choose 4 things to eat or drink ever again, what would they be?
Chik-Fil-A nuggets, yankee pot roast, snapple lemon iced tea and Cadbury Crunchie bars.

5. If you could only choose 5 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be? I couldn't choose. That's unfair.

Thursday, October 10, 2002

Isn't it interesting that in rap videos the women wear next to nothing and the men are usually wearing way more than necessary?
The head rapper and his boyz will be decked out in:
a T-shirt
a basketball/football/baseball jersey
baggy ass pants
a headband
sunglasses
workboots
a big thick chain
I know this is what's considered hip, but you've got their freezing female counterparts dressed in:
the shortest jean cutoffs imaginable
bikini top (which her boobs are just about popping out of)
high heels
Can't the men lend the ladies some clothes? And why are the men (with the exception of LL Cool J and a select other few rappers) ugly and get to hang with these beautiful women? It's like the sitcom phenomenon of fat, balding men with "hottie" wives (According to Jim, King of Queens, et al.). You never see a plain-Jane with a hunk. It's kind of unfair...
My theory on why people get so disappointed with dating: they put too much weight on something that should be fun. People are so petrified of being 'alone' that they make dating more difficult than it should be. And anyone that comes out with a 'men suck, women suck, dating sucks' must get rid of their bitter attitude if they ever want to be happy. Then learn to like being with yourself. If you'r eso petrified of being alone, who is going to want to be with a clingy ass like you?

This entry came from a discussion about a co-worker getting stood up on a blind date and the drama that ensued in deciding what to do now (take a few minutes to be pissed about it, move on and don't put so much thought into someone you've never even met, is my theory), and after watching the gross boss on the Real World try to hit on all the girls in the house. He just smacks of desperation and ickiness -- does he wonder why no one wants to be with him?




Tuesday, October 08, 2002

A high-five to Yankee/Tino/Robin lover Tonya. She hath slayed the smarmy dragon! And that deserve major props.

So, I'm walking to Penn Station yesterday and I pass this homeless-looking young guy on Madison Ave. He's got the overly coiffed hair of a heroin-chic Calvin Klein model, but his head is in his hands. He has a cardboard sign with him that says to the effect, he's trying to get money for bus fare back to Toms River New Jersey, which is underlined. I'm momentarily sad, since he's a Jersey boy just trying to get home, but I don't fork over any money. And it's a good thing. Five minutes later, I'm walking up 32nd Street and there's another expensive hairstyle young dude sitting, looking desperate with a sign that says he's been mugged and he's just looking for enough money to get him back to...Toms River New Jersey. Underlined. Methinks these two were some rich spoiled brats who got kicked out when their ecstasy use started to piss off mom and dad. So instead of doing what other rich drug addicts do, they don't get a job on Wall Street or in the entertainment industry. Instead, they try to scam people by playing with their emotions, making them feel sorry for them while they take our money and head anywhere but Toms River. Because really, if you were mugged, the cops would help you get home somehow. Sorry boys, I have a heart, but I'm not stupid.

Monday, October 07, 2002

PS -- what is up with all those plastic 2 stick clappy things that they're using in all these ballparks now? Can't people use their hands to clap anymore?? Note to George: DO NOT introduce these stupid ass things into Yankee Stadium. It would be a sign that you need to 'involve' fans when you shouldn't have to when you field a good team -- the team itself should be gimmick enough.
The Chicken and I are still officially in mourning for the Yankees loss. My feathered friend has even taken to wearing a black-lace mantilla while he quietly sniffles and blames himself for the losing. I have told him it is not his fault, that even though he could kick the Rally Monkey's ass, even the powers of Yankee Chickenness cannot help a ball club in serious need of a small makeover. But he is still inconsolable. What can I say -- love hurts.

As for the rest of the playoff contenders, I'm very happy the Cardinals made it, as it gives Tino a chance to shine in October again. And the Twins make me happy because it's making Bud Selig miserable. I could just picture him sitting in a darkened room when they won yesterday, grumbling and tearing his afghan to shreds. If they win the World Series, it would be so gratifying to see him have to hand over the trophy to them.This would also prove him wrong about small market teams never being able to contend, so ha! Of course, I'm rooting against the Angels and I could only hope that the Giants and Braves both find a way to lose.

Saturday, October 05, 2002

You know, I wouldn't mind the Yanks losing if I didn't have to deal with the smarmy ass people who will throw it back in my face. In a way, I see losing as a cleansing sort of thing. I've been saying since mid-2001 that the Yankees need to focus on their pitching, and now that it's become way apparent that I'm right, something will hopefully get done in the offseason. No more big-time sluggers, thank you very much. Also, I'll get more sleep in October. So it's got it's advantages. But it's those assholes who will smugly rub it in that my fave team lost (even when I don't say a word about their teams) that make this unbearable. Who knows, maybe now I'll actually open my mouth this time....

PS -- Go Twins
I wish people would stop and realize that this Yankee team isn't the 'big bad Yankee team' of four years ago. That the Angels are whipping them isn't because they have 'more heart'. Please, let's not use cliches here. It's because they are younger and quite frankly, more confident than the Yankees are right now. Any Yankee fan who has watched them the past two seasons knows that this isn't what took the field in 1996-2000. They are older, more tired and damn if the pitching doesn't suck right now. But, while the Angels may have the goods to beat the Yankees in two games, what about what happened Tuesday night? Yes, it was the Yankees who came back then. Two more wins ARE possible. Their pitchers have been flaky and their defense a little shoddy. But that can partially be taken care of if Mr. Torre decides to go on a tirade. Yes, Joe, get pissed off. Derek Jeter, get pissed off. Giambi and Mariano, get pissed off. Get pissed off at your teammates who aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing. Ahem, Mondesi, Soriano, Yankee pinch-hitters and the entire pitching staff.

You can't tell a team how to win. It either happens or it doesn't. But a few people stepping up to say that they're not going to take this lying down and for others to get off their asses and do the same might be the ingredient that's missing here. They did have the best record in the American League, afterall. Rally Monkeys, Glaus, Anderson, obnoxious noise-making numchucks aside, this is the Wildcard team they're facing. The Yankees can pull it off -- if they really wanted to.

Thursday, October 03, 2002

Thanks to Tonya for reminding me of the most ridiculous call Timmy Talk Too Much made last night. It was when Senor DJ made his throwing faux pas off his trademark, leap-in-the-air-and-fire move. He was in admonishing mode, saying Jeter tries this move all the time and it never works. Um, obviously the Timster has been away from the Yankees for a while because Tonya, her roommate, my dad and myself (all avid watchers) had the same response despite being 50 miles apart -- "What?" This is a move that almost always works for Jeter...I think Tim has his shortsops mixed up. Ugh.
The strangest thing has happened the past two mornings -- the Jeter Bird (a little thing that literally sounds like he's tweeting "Jeter Jeter Jeter") has returned, very vocally I might add. He hasn't been around in awhile, but he mysteriously turned up again the morning after the real Jeter's home run the other night. Today, he was especially loud, as if trying to make a point. Perhaps he thought the ball called a strike against senor DJ in the 8th last night was a wee bit out of the strikezone too.

I know everyone's like "well, as long as the umpire calls the outside strike consistently for both teams, it's OK', but I have a beef with it -- IT'S NOT A STRIKE! Tell me how this is fair to any batter who doesn't have five-foot long arms? And let's not use the 'it speeds up the game' excuse, as it happened pretty recurringly in last night's game which still went way longer than it should have. Sigh.

Best Fox Instapoll question last night: "Should Torre Send Jeter?" My dad's response: "Send him where? Out for pizza? On a beer run?"

Other commercial that is going to get on my nerves: The frat-boys-go-to-Subway ad. It was on like six times last night. I am liking the cell phone (i'm not sure which one) commercial with Sigfried and Roy in the quickie-mart.

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

Time for me to pick on Fox's awful coverage of the Playoffs. It just promises to get worse as the ratings for each game will become more important:

Commercial I'm going to be extremely sick of: The new 24 ad, with Kiefer sitting there trying to ignore the ringing phone. To me, one of the most annoying sounds on earth is a phone that keeps on ringing --it's like a baby who won't stop screaming. And since it's one of those old-fashioned rings, it's even worse. God help me.

How long it took for McCarver and Buck to start getting on my nerves: 2 innings. When McCarver starts getting self-righteous and runs out of adjectives (if I had to hear "pesky" one more time when describing Eckstein, I was going to send him a thesarus myself), and Buck starts stating the obvious ("just one swing will tie the game") it's time for the mute button.

Stupidest moment of the night: Now, we all know I'm not a fan of the Instapoll 'let's ask the geeks sitting at their computers with the game on in the background' question, but last night just sealed it for me. With Clemens tossing a few times to first to keep a runner honest, the question "Should Clemens concentrate on the hitter?" popped up. You've got to be kidding me! If you're going to have this insanity, at least ask a decent question. Like "Do you think Tim McCarver should shut up about Jason Giambi's pants?"

The There Goes the Patriotism moment of the evening: that the national anthem wasn't even shown. I know they showed God Bless America later, but that's not our country's hymn. Personally, I would have liked to have seen the pre-game stuff, just as a Yankee fan. Instead, we had to sit through the boring-ass, uneccessary pre-game reporting. Just flash the scores, for crying out loud.

And does anyone really want to see the pitch-by-pitch thing? It's almost like it's there so the announcers can sound smart by trying to "educate" us on the nuances of pitcher-and-hitter matchups. I mean, the at-bat was just two seconds ago, I'm sure I didn't forget the 12 pitch (half of which were fouled off) walk. Seriously.

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

HA! My office is too funny! They just tried to pin our work slow-down of late on my department, asking us to not take lunch until everything is done on our end. Why is this a knee-slapper? Because no one in my department EVER takes a lunch. By law, we are supposed to have one hour a day. I can count on both hands the full hours I've used in the past two years, hours I haven't been paid for. I went WITHOUT LUNCH on Thursday just to plow through my work. The shakes I had later, the hunger I had to deal with on the train ride home, yeah, I didn't eat because I like feeling that way.

And the kicker is that we really aren't the problem -- stories aren't getting to us till 4 p.m. (ding! maybe the people who see the stuff before us actually have something to do with it. What a concept!), which we then rush through in a timely fashion. Why do I put up with this? WHY???

Monday, September 30, 2002

Playoffs tomorrow, playoffs tomorrow!!! Must find something to bake...fried Oreos perhaps? We had some at the Hoboken street fair yesterday -- Dexter, Vicki and I were in our powdered-sugar, death-inducing cholesterol glory.

Thank god! Charles Grodin understands what a pain in the ass loud cell phone people are!
"I went over to get some work done on my car the other day. They told me it would take about a half an hour, so I went to read the paper in the little waiting area.

There was a woman sitting at one of the tables, and she was on her cell phone.

"No!,” she said in a voice you might use if you're alone in a big house. "If I'm going to be late for work by five minutes, I don't bother to call, because I'll be there before you know it. Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeah! I don't like him either. No he's a real jerk."

And on and on, and when she finished that call, it only took her a minute before she was on to the next. "Hi! It's me!"

I considered my options. I thought about taking out my own phone and launching into a fake conversation. Give her a taste of her own medicine.

"Hey! How ya doin?! I'm in the waiting room while they're working on my car. It's the thermostat that controls how the heater works. Yeah. It's not working the way it should, so you don't get the right amount of heat and it hurts your fuel efficiency. Don't get the miles on the gallon you should. Uh huh. Uh huh."

What is it with these people who talk on the phone as though they're alone - when they're in a public place?

If they have to be on the phone in public, they don't seem to even consider trying it this way: “Hi! I'm on a train, so I can't really talk,” they should whisper. “Just make sure I didn't leave the oven on."

But no! More likely, it's "So what else?"

The only solace I take from all of this is at least at some point, I get off the train, and don't have to live with them.

Since technology presents us with more opportunities, some people feel they should take advantage of them, no matter where they are. "

Friday, September 27, 2002

Time for the Friday Five:
1. What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind?
I've never thought about it. I guess being away from work is relaxing enough.
2. What do you do the moment you get home from work/school/errands?
Go to the bathroom. That train ride is long!
3. What are your favorite aromatherapeutic smells?
A good meal cooking in the kitchen.
4. Do you feel more relaxed with a group of friends or hanging out by yourself?
There's no difference, as long as I'm with people I want to be hanging with or if I have something to do by myself.
5. What is something that you feel is relaxing but most people don't?
A brisk walk -- that is the one good thing about working a bit away from Penn Station -- I can burn off my stress just by walking fast. It worked at college, too.
There is something I will never understand as a sports fan. Perhaps it is because I'm female and don't have the boasting/let-me-rip-your-team gene in me, but what is the necessity of bashing someone's favorite team to their face? It's the weirdest thing -- you tell guys your a sports fan, and the minute they realize you won't touch their sleazy ass with a ten foot pole, they will be caustic and rude about your beloved team. Now, this is only a select few (there have been plenty I would touch with a ten-foot pole or shorter -- they were usually the ones who keep their mouths shut about the Yankees. Especially if they're cute.) who have done this, and I think these guys have psychological problems anyway, but grow up! When someone picks on the Yankees, it doesn't bother me that they're picking on the Yankees (everyone is entitled to an opinion. Most of the time) -- it's that you can see they're doing it to try to hurt your feelings. Do they really think this is going to make them endearing? Do they really think you can't see through them? Do they really think you'll start crying and they will have to comfort you? I sometimes wonder...

I have learned the great lesson of sports karma. Never stoop to these asshole's levels unless you want to see something bad happen to your team. Always stand by your favorite team, but acknowledge when they've done something wrong (like when one of your star freakish pitchers decides to throw a broken bat -- even if you will swear to the prickish fans that he was only trying to protect Tino Martinez from a jagged-bad wielding Mike Piazza running up the first baseline.) And for those prickish fans, keep in mind that they are just bitter and deserve pity. But if they get to be too much, never be afraid to bust out a six-pack of whoop ass and let them have it. Not physically, but with some demoralizing sports memory from their team's past. I've gotten to be a master at this, and that's because I can tell when the prickish ones are insecure about their team's past. Does this make me evil? Nah. Just smarter than some of my testosterone-addled sports fan brethren.

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

I have been at this job for two whole years today. How in God's name I have kept my sanity this long is beyond me.

Poor Alfonso Soriano -- the man had a strikeout problem before this whole nearing 40 homers thing happened. Now, he's pressing even more, swinging at pitches so far off the plate they're practically in another borough. I hope he gets to 40 -- it would show all those nay sayers (one friend even scoffed at the notion of him going 30-30 this year) that the kid really can play. And yes, I can call him kid. He's one of the first Yankees to be younger than me. Sigh.

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

This is why I hate being a copy editor -- if I miss something, I feel like a god damn idiot for the rest of the week. Note to self -- Yo-Yo Ma plays the cello, not the violin. In copyediting, you're damned from all angles. If you catch everything and a story is clean, no one will know you did your job or they'll think you're not needed. But if one thing gets through, no matter how much else you catch, you get in trouble. Rightfully so, but it's the only kind of recognition you get.

I'm having a bad day. Can't you tell?

Monday, September 23, 2002

Have you ever been in the bathroom when suddenly you hear someone in another stall using an amount of toilet paper that is WAY more than necessary? Like you could make a dress with what they are using? No wonder the rain forests are being depleted...
Do you think NBC knew it was going to run away with almost all the major awards in the Emmys last night? Geez, I wish the West Wing would just go away already. Even people I know who are fans of the show say it sucked last season. And though Friends had some inspired episodes for like the first time in five seasons last year, I'm not sure it diserved best comedy. They're getting too old to be that whiny. Whatever. At least Band of Brothers won best mini-series.

The new NJ Transit Concourse opens at Penn Station today. They say it's supposed to ease congestion and stuff. That remains to be seen.

Friday, September 20, 2002

I'm going to start answering the Friday Five:
1. Would you say that you're good at keeping in touch with people?
Yes, but only with people I care about.
2. Which communication method do you usually prefer/use: e-mail, telephone, snail mail, blog comments, or meeting in person? Why?
I use e-mail a lot bc I'm in front of a computer all the time. I like the phone when I'm home, but at work it's hard because you always get interrupted while talking to someone.
3. Do you have an instant messenger program? How many? Why/why not? How often do you use it?
I have freaking AOL IM and I HATE it. If I want to talk to you, I will call you. When I'm online, I'm usually downloading music or doing research and I get interrupted by people I don't want to talk to. I'm not there to "chat". So I've learned to ignore it. If it's urgent, they'll call. Very only-child of me, I know...
4. Do most of your close friends live nearby or far away?
Well, I have one close friend in Pa., but everyone else is pretty much nearby. Most of them will really be nearby once the move occurs! Luckily, no one has up and moved to California or something.
5. Are you an "out of sight, out of mind" person, or do you believe that "distance makes the heart grow fonder"?
That depends -- if it's love and we've just broken up, definitely out of sight. It's easier to not see him just to get over him. I don't buy distance making the heart grow fonder. It's more frustrating than anything, and if I'm in love with the guy, I'll want to see him and not have to be sad about saying goodbye. But if it's friendship we're talking about, than neither -- I think about my far away friends just as much as if they were here.

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

So, I'm watching Real World last night and feeling bad for nice guy Frank when it seems his soon-to-be-girfriend Trishelle starts making out with Steve, who had been trying to push Frank toward her the whole episode. Steve, being on the Real World and therefore the token male slut, sees no problem with making out with his new friend's object of desire. When the two hornballs start apologizing to Frank, they decide to go at it again, right over Frank. It seemed really, really cruel and thoughtless. But now I've changed my mind -- Frank and Trishelle had barely known each other 48 hours and he was acting like she was his soul mate. He kept going on and on about how attractive she was, but there seemed to be little in the 'let's get to know each other or be friends first' department. In other words, the only bond here was attraction, and did he really expect something to come of something so shallow? It was wrong for Steve and Trishelle to be so flippant about his feelings, but in a way, at least they didn't play up their chemistry like they could be married with three kids in a few years. The lesson in all this -- don't mistake attraction for love.

Have I told you lately how much I hate NJ Transit?

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

I've had a dream twice this week about dating the only good thing to come out of Coyote Ugly, Adam Garcia. I'm not going to argue with my subconcious about that one!

Maybe The Chicken will have to step in to help mediate the bad vibes between Orlando Hernandez and Jorge Posada. Then again, he doesn't speak Spanish. My dad suggested that I make an 'El Duque and Jorge make peace flan', but I don't want to jinx the post season...

Monday, September 16, 2002

As I was telling my co-workers, the great thing about the Sopranos is that if any of the characters (like Tony who is so not remorseful, Ralph who needs to be humbled or Christopher, who's just an ass) gets whacked, there's actually some gratification in it, not sadness like on shows where the characters are redeemable. I'd love to see all the spoiled families (especially Meadow and AJ) be poor for a while and the not-so-ignorant hangers on (Carmela and Adrainna) have to get jobs. You would think that's what they're setting up for the final season -- everyone will get what they deserve. In fact, the only character I think deserves anything good to happen to them is Dr. Melfi, but I worry something bad is going to happen to her (again. Maybe this time they won't sweep it under the rug). And they say this show isn't a soap...

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

CNN has an online poll about making Sept. 11 a national holiday. 58 percent say no. Now, maybe before today I would have agreed with this, but after almost bursting into tears three times thus far, and feeling superiorly annoyed that some pod people co-workers are being so nonchalant (when our work seems so unimportant in the grand scheme of things), I really wish we had the day off to reflect. Maybe years and years from now, kids will just see it as a day off from school, but right now the sadness of the day isn't making most of us productive. And how are we supposed to have a day of 'remembrence' if we're locked in our cubicles? "Hey, sorry to see you crying over the memorials, but can you get this out by 1?" Ugh.

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

OK, I'm going to say this and not feel guilty because I'm sick of people from other countries, even other states saying New Yorkers have to get over 9/11: Yes, other countries have been attacked, yes there are always going to be people who hate America and yes, we know we aren't the only hated country. But shut up. Seriously. I am so tired of people saying 'Americans asked for this because they vote in a democracy' or 'Maybe now Americans will start paying attention to foreign policy' or 'I'm sick of hearing New Yorkers whine about this' (a la Charlotte Church). Tonya got told by a Midwestern relative that she 'shouldn't be afraid' because of the upped security alert. Here's a newsflash for the rest of the world: YOU WEREN'T HERE THAT DAY. Unless you live in a war-torn country like Israel or lived through the London Blitz and World Wars, you must shut your insensitive yap. You have no idea what fear goes through your head when you wonder how many people you knew perished in front of your eyes while watching TV (luckily, I knew no one, but I was fortunate). Unless you live in a big city, you don't know how we all have to rush through train stations for fear of chemical bombing and reroute ourselves away from national monuments when these alerts go into effect. You didn't breathe in that thick smoke that burned the back of your throat for weeks after the attack. You are not reminded every day of the lives lost because you don't walk past their pictures hanging on random walls on your walk to work. I don't want to live through a day like that ever again, but apparently I'm not allowed to have any feelings for the events of that morning and the days following. Sure, the coverage is a bit much, but don't you dare take anything away from the people who went through the horrors of Sept. 11, and don't you dare tell them to stop 'whining'.
I don't want to knock all people from the NY metro area, but there are some people who have never left Long Island, Manhattan and Westchester and they are so freaking ignorant geography-wise. When you tell them you are moving to Hoboken or Jersey City, they look at you like you're nuts "But isn't that far?" HELLO!!! it takes just as long to get from the 'Boken to Manhattan as it does from parts of Brooklyn, Queens, etc. Sooooooo many people think NJ is just suburban hell and the only time you go there is if you've been exiled or married. People actually get turned down for jobs because some Westchester-resident geography-challenged boss thinks that Nutley is too far away, but Croton Harmon isn't.

In other news, it's really crappy to be the most scared you've been since Sept.11 because of all the alerts that have been issued, yet we're supposed to act like nothing happened and "go about our business."
With all the talk of the 'Widows of 9/11', I thought I was angry about the fact that they were only focusing on the men with families who died. Then, CBS This Morning said they were going to meet with three husbands who lost their wives, and how they are raising their families without them. I was equally bothered. Now I know why -- how come we have to label everyone who died? Is someone married with kids worth more than a single parent? Is it more important to be widowed rather than parents who lost children? Do the immigrant workers who died working to send their families here even register on the map? I think the whole idea of nearly 3000 people dying for just showing up to work that day is sick in itself. They all had their lives stolen and I'm hoping that's what gets remembered in all this. That way, years from now, kids won't be thinking it was only "Mommies" or "Firefighters" who died, but people, plain and simple.

Monday, September 09, 2002

Good sex + feeling the need to criticize your partner at every given moment = Love. Thanks to Charlotte from Sex and the City for pointing this out to us. Oh, puh-lease. Where is the show I used to know and love? While there were some good scenes last night, it felt like they're setting up next season for at least three of them to get married. Again, Oh, puh-lease.
The New York Times really has to get their facts straight. They've been following Middletown since Sept. 11 and this is how they choose to describe my town:
"This centerless hodgepodge of look-alike ranches and waterfront estates...."
Fact -- there are waterfront estates, but the people who live there don't use anything that has to do with the town (schools, transportation, etc.) That section of town is so small in comparison to the rest of the area.
Fact -- my house is a capecod. Not a ranch. There are poor sections of town, there are rich sections of town (the look alike ranches seems like some kind of strange picture the times is trying to paint), there are houses from the Revolutionary War. Had the Times decided to check out the whole area, they would have realized this.
I'm so sick of all this Middletown-being-a-small-community coverage. Not one report I have seen has described anything similar to the place I grew up.

Friday, September 06, 2002

I'm wondering why it took so long for Sam Adams to pull their recent ad depicting people hiding their beer when the cops come because of a noise violation. The first time I saw the commercial, I thought "Damn, we did that in college because we were...underage". Now, I'm not against drinking, but the commercial left me with a weird feeling, like they were just trying to look cool to a young crowd. Or maybe it's because they were ripping off from everyone's college experience...



Thursday, September 05, 2002

I don't know about you, but when I think of the NFL, I think of crashing helmets, colliding grunting dudes, freezing temperatures and...Times Square. Can someone please explain why they are 'kicking off' the season in the middle of New York City where nary a football field can be found? Let's review -- the Jets and Giants play a few MILES away in New Jersey. No NY sports team plays in Times Square. And since when does the NFL, one of the highest rated sports, need a gimmick to start the season? A concert with Bon Jovi is fine to kick off the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductions, but football? I'm wondering if Fox and Jon's record label are somehow connected...

And let's hope American Idol starts a new trend in teen music -- young people who can actually sing making it big. Finally, someone getting rewarded for having a naturally great voice! I liked how the show incorporated music from every generation besides the contempo mall rat music (which I do like, but not in the same song every-three-hour doses that Z-100 plays), even though there were probably some 12-year-olds going 'Who's Aretha Franklin and what is this crap they're singing?'

Wednesday, September 04, 2002

Right now, Oprah and her expert panelist are saying that it's the media's fault that children lose their innocence at such a young age. Um, I'm waiting for the part where someone says 'Where the hell are their parents if the kids are up past 10 p.m. watching South Park and Jackass?'

Tuesday, September 03, 2002

Allow me to reaveal my new secret obsession -- Degrassi, the Next Generation. Now, you're probably saying 1)I didn't even know this show exists or 2)Why would a 25-year-old be watching a show for preteens? Well, numero uno, it's only on the Noggin channel which I'm going to miss sorely when I move (along with all the other cool stuff you get with digital cable. Why isn't this more widespread?) and two, it's so well done, just like it's predacessor. I loved the original Degrassi because it had real-looking kids from average income families dealing with issues that only Canadians seem brave enough to talk about via television. Sure, 90210 had it's "real" moments, but they were quickly solved by the end of the episode and had no lasting effects. On Degrassi, we saw the ramifications of teen pregnancy and abortion, drug overdoses, eating disorders, you name it, one of the kids was going through it. While it hasn't gotten that serious yet on the new show, it does a great job of portraying the sweetness and stupidness of middle school, without trying to be all Britney-like or making the kids act more mature/world-weary than they are (see Dylan on 90210 ). I only wish PBS would pick up this series, too, so more kids could be exposed to it.

Friday, August 30, 2002

Finally, someone gets that rude cell phone behavior does exist! Be sure to check out their bumper stickers -- these people are my new heroes.

And time to say farewell to the WEBS for another summer. You won't be missed.
Hallefreakinglujah. There will be no strike this time and maybe now we can start concentrating on what's going on on the field. I know the Yankee blaming will continue, but I've resolved to ignore it. Worry about your own team and shut the hell up is my new motto. I now lift my boycott of watching games (which was VERY hard) and the Chicken can come back from his Tibetan vacation in time for the post season. Maybe that's what fans who blame the Yankees should be whining about -- it's not money that's the problem, they just don't have a Good Luck Yankee Chicken looking out for them.
I spent half of last night trying to figure out just what Britney Spears looked like in her overly-done leather ensemble at the VMAs. Thanks to CNN for helping me figure it out:"Spears arrived in a black leather outfit with a cap that made her look like an auxiliary member of the Village People..."

And Christina, please, you are from a suburbs of Pennsylvania. Stop speaking like you were raised in the hood. You may think this makes you look like a tough girl, but it's an insult to the people who actually were born and bred there. And smack your stylist while you're at it.

Thursday, August 29, 2002

Let me say this now. Any fan, reporter, owner, player 'feeling bad' that teams like the Twins, As, (or basically any team that seams like it has lightning in a bottle) may lose their chance at the playoffs because of a strike should listen to what they are saying. You're feeling bad that these millionaire players, who have the complete ability to go out and play tomorrow, are walking out on their team's destinies??? Sure, feel bad for what might have been, but stop acting like these teams need pity, especially when they have control over the issue. There's no war stopping the season, no act of god, no plague that has hit each team making them ineffective -- no, it's just their stubborn stupidity that is keeping them from making it to the playoffs. Don't feel sorry for them -- they certainly aren't feeling sorry for robbing you.
I never want a sore throat again. It is 2:30 a.m. and I am in too much pain to sleep, so I'm stuck watching a Peter Frampton video on VH1 classic. There is nothing on at this hour and I'm struggling with the guilt should I call out of work today. When I croaked this notion to my parents earlier (talking in a normal voice is a little hard with white spots at the back of your throat) my dad shrugged and said "You don't owe them anything. You haven't gotten a raise in 2 years." Yeah! And I go in after throwing up, with a broken toe that I couldn't walk on,...and I have 10 vacation days that they can always deduct from. And now a very trippy Cat Stevens video...not cool with a slight fever...Why am I so guilt-ridden at this job? It's just not right... Nooooooo!!!! Now it's Land of Confusion by Genesis with those scary Ronald and Nancy Reagan puppets. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

Well, I've got a nice virus, according to my doctor, but not West Nile. I was expecting the usual shmucky doctor I always get, but a las, it looks like he's left the practice. I'm not surprised. The man had the personality of a hairbrush. But the new doctor is so nice! I've never had one who showed so much concern. She even told me to make sure I went home and got some rest and she hoped I feel better. I haven't heard that since my pediatrician!

So while I'm taking my amoxicillan, I'm bonding with Anne of Green Gables/Avonlea (for like the 400th time) and I'm just now realizing how well done this miniseries is. I grew up on it, so I'm kind of biased, but it makes me sad that there are no good made-for-TV dramas like this any more -- I'm remembering the Tiffani Amber Thiessen Lifetime movie from the other day and how bad it was. When they did the third part to Anne, I was so disappointed and maybe it's because it was made in 1999 and the makers felt they had to have actual physical action in it that it was so silly.

OK, time for a nap.