Friday, March 29, 2002

So, I'm flipping through the channels last night and what do I come across but "Living Dolls", HBO's documentary on child beauty pageants. I'm always fascinated by this one -- it focuses on Swan (Yes, that's her name. She's a favorite of my friend Tonya and I. We always like to croon her showstopper, "Wheeeeeeeeere is Love" when we mention her) a cute as heck 5-year-old and her militant stage mom. Since it shows all these Southern pageants, it is great for a few good laughs. These girls look like they're 35-year-old prostitutes of the Old South brothel era (complete with big-hair and hokey makeup) and they're really like 3. They're even told to "flirt" with pageant hosts. EWWWW!!! Some are even babies with hair extensions and blue eyeshadow. The best are the two gay pageant "star" producers. They're from Alabama and pushy stagemothers from around the country send their "I'd rather be playing with Barbie" daughters (and sons. More on that later) to them for training. As one of the dudes says "I can take a girl who's butt ugly and make her pretty." Ummmm...I'm wondering if their daughter (a pageant star herself who goes in to get her hair highlighted at the age of 6) is going to have self esteem issues with these two raising her...Anyway, there is another funny moment with Reed, the formerly shy son of another Southern mom. He's 5 with a mullet and to quote his pageant bio "He likes to play in the dirt and watching Unsolved Mysteries!" This cracks me up everytime and probably the reason I keep watching. And it all makes me so glad the only thing my parents every forced me to do was eat my broccoli.

Thursday, March 28, 2002

Oh joy, Des sends me a revised edition of the survey of yourself. So here goes:
1. IF YOU COULD BUILD YOUR HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

That would either be the apartment buidling where all my friends live for free in Hoboken, or a nice farm house on the Navesink River.


2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?

The No. 60 jersey I bought at American Eagle with Amy D. It is the most comfortable piece of clothing I own. Or my blue gingham sundress from Victoria's Secret.

3. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?

I'm a sucker for dimples!

4. WHAT'S THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT?

The Concert for New York

5. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?
The boat in the summer with a good book and a Snapple iced tea

6. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?

The train on Friday nights in summer

7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED?

The shoulders

8. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT: STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG

IN BODY?

Strong in mind, unless I can't get a jar open

9. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING?

6 A.M. on weekdays, later on weekends.

10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE T.V SHOW?

I'm not answering this question anymore.

11. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?

George Forman Grill -- it's a lifesaver!

12. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY?

Playing with the neighborhood kids in summer, getting dirty and swimming in the lake then going home to a nice dinner and a good night's sleep. I had the All-American childhood.

13. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Dry wit; Mystery Science Theater 3000; all of my friends (I've decided everyone I keep company with makes me laugh in some way)

14. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY?

Fickleness; people who are rude just to be rude

15. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT WHAT WOULD IT BE?

the piano

16. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?

Dallas BBQ and Serendipity (If not for Dexter and Vicki, I'd never have gone to either, so thank you!)

17. SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

Sept. 11, when they weren't sure how many planes were still in the air and knowing I was five blocks from the Empire State Building; not knowing if all my friends were safe; And then not knowing how or when I'd get home.

18. IF THERE WAS A MOVIE MADE ABOUT YOU, WHAT CURRENT/FORMER HOLLYWOOD
STAR WOULD PLAY YOU?

Shirley Temple would play me as a child. Not sure about as an adult.


19. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AN AFTERLIFE?

Hell yeah!

20. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?

The April Rabbits; Any Ramona book

21. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?

Spring

22. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE?

Ironing

23. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

To be able to stop time

24. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?

a big old battleship across my chest

25. WHO WAS YOUR FIRST LOVE AND AT WHAT AGE?

Steven Thompson in Kindergarten.

26. THE SONG YOU WISHED YOU HAD WRITTEN?

"I Want You to Want Me" -- it's peppy and fun

27. DO YOU PREFER CATS OR DOGS?

Dogs, but cats are OK too

Thanks to VH1 Classic (my morning TV choice), I always have an odd assortment of music stuck in my head. Today it's Foreigner's "I Want to Know What Love is", Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life" and and the Traveling Wilbury's "The End of the Line". I love this station and hope to god that whenever I get my own place that digital cable is available.

T-minus 5 days and counting till Opening Day. Sorry, but I don't count the Indians/Anaheim game on Sunday, since I could give a crap about them. Everyone else (the important teams) starts Monday. That means I have to get cracking on my Yankee cupcakes…

Wednesday, March 27, 2002

Oh my god, I just had a soap opera like moment. I picked up a rubber band and was flooded with a flashback, a la a character with amnesia. I remembered our old rubber band fights in my McGraw-Hill cubicle bay, which I'd completely forgotten about. This usually involved me (I think it all started when I was trying to learn how to shoot one properly), Dexter, our friend Charlie and this dude Ray. Several times, we overshot cubicle walls and the bands landed in the photo department, but we never got in trouble. I miss those days.
What is it about men?! When you show an interest in them, they back off, like you've suddenly become evil and want to marry them (when you really just want to, like, get a beer) or something, and when you have no desire to even be in the same room with one, they won't leave you alone??? Isn't there a happy medium?

In sad news, I've had to switch to low-acid orange juice. Yes, I have come to realize that foods like tomato sauce and OJ give me heartburn and it suddenly makes me feel like an old fart.
Last week's episode of the Real World, which I saw right before last night's episode, left my jaw in my lap. No, not because of anything controversial or risque, but because of something very odd that Kyle did -- he apologized to Keri, a girl who really likes him that he flirts with mercilessly, yet won't go any further than that, for jerking her around. I'm not really into his whole thing (Ken-doll good looks, Ivy league, rich -- leaves nothing to the imagination) but I can't remember the last time a dude actually said he put himself in a girl's shoes and realized how badly he was treating her. He gets major props for this.
Later, The Osbournes showed the best way to get back at annoying, cockyass, rich neighbors -- throw hams and wood at them.

Tuesday, March 26, 2002

Leave it to Once and Again -- the show always amazes me. I'd like to go out on a limb and say it's probably the best-written show on television. Aside from making me think, last night's episode reminded me of a song I love, but had forgotten about. They played it at the end of the show, when Lily's schizophrenic brother is setting up his apartment with the help of the family, and while O&A is one of the best-written TV shows, this is one of the best-written love songs, in my humble opinion:

Catch The Wind
Donovan

In the chilly hours and minutes
Of uncertainty
I want to be
In the warm hold of your lovin' mind.

To feel you all around me
And to take your hand
Along the sand,
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

When sundown pales the sky
I want to hide a while
Behind your smile,
And everywhere I'd look, your eyes I'd find.

For me to love you now
Would be the sweetest thing,
'T would make me sing,
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

Diddy di dee dee diddy diddy,
Diddy diddy diddy dee dee dee.

When rain has hung the leaves with tears
I want you near to kill my fears,
To help me to leave all my blues behind.

For standin' in your heart
Is where I want to be
And long to be,
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.
OK kids, keep the end of April Fridays open on your calendars. I'm tentatively scheduling my birthday party for oneof those days (time and location are still being thought out) and I want all ya'll to be there. If I consider you a good bud let me know what days are good or bad for you. I'm trying to have all the pieces fit and all my pals to be there. There will be an evite to remind you in 1-2 weeks.

Monday, March 25, 2002

So the Oscars are in the books for another year, and I have to give a special shout out to Dexter and Vicki who threw a great party in honor of the occasion. It is fun to watch the Academy Awards with a group of people, as the vicious/catty comments are much more fun to make when there are others who concur with your thoughts. Among the "huh?"s for the night were the whole Glenn Close, Donald Sutherland news anchor/announcing thing, Gwenyth's choice of dress (and countless others), the lack of seat fillers, Halle Berry's lack of self confidence (admitted during her Barbara Wawa interview) when she's probably the most beautiful actress in Hollywood, Robert Redford's boring speech, etc. The party Oscar pool went quite well with Mike winning for most correct picks (11) and Kurt winning the loser title with his five right answers. They both got prizes (very nice ones) from our gracious hosts. I only got 8 right (though I think I got 13 in the office pool).
Dexter later smacked himself in the head for forgetting to take pictures, but we amused ourselves with pics and short films from parties of recent past. Check out Kurt's site if you want to see his take on the past situations, even though he doesn't have the now classic Andy lines of "Steven Baldwin. In. the Usual Suspects..."

Sunday, March 24, 2002

Well, the wedding was great, even though we had to leave a bit early because my mom wasn't feeling well (and you know she isn't feeling well when she doesn't dance to every song and doesn't eat her filet mignon). My dad got through his reading fine, and it wasn't the whole 'love is patient, love is kind' thing Hollis and I were betting he'd have to read. It was this "Lord hear us" thing where he says "Bless, watchover, etc. the married couple, the president and government (this was probably added to the Catholic mass post-9/11), the sick, the depressed, the Pope, etc." and the crowd has to reply "Lord Hear Us". When he got back to the pew I admonished him for leaving out the most important group of people for the Lord to watch over and bless -- the Yankees. He told me "the Pope" was code for Joe Torre, so it was all good. I guess that made me a bit sacreligious in church. Oops.
The reception itself rocked. The DJ played only the best stuff and when it came time for the dreaded bouquet toss, they did something a little different and much appreciated by this single person. They called all the married people onto the floor to dance, and then they get kicked off the less amount of time of their marriage. The couple married the longest (in this case, a couple married for 53 years narrowly beat out my aunt and uncle who have been married for 51) gets the bouquet and a picture with the newlyweds. No annoyingly desperate women trying to kill you to catch the flowers, and no embarassing "dude who caught the garter puts it on the leg of the complete stranger who caught the bouquet" crap.
So, here's hoping that Ann and Joseph have a long happy life together. I'm glad I'm getting a cousin as awesome as she is and I have a feeling they're going to have lots of kids, so the Bischer name will go on. Ar yar yar!
PS -- you know you're at a New Jersey wedding when Bruce Springsteen's "Rosalita" comes on and people 1) actually know what it is and go nuts and 2) know all the words to the epic song.

Friday, March 22, 2002

I think the best part about office pools is not the anticipating of winning; it's the anticipating of seeing those ego-trippers who think they've got all the winners locked actually lose.
In college, there was a particuarly big-headed dude who thought he was going to win our NCAA tournament pool. Up until the last few days it looked like he might, and he'd get the literally hundreds of dollars we put up for it. Then Duke, the team he bragged about going all the way, lost the championship to UConn, and he didn't get a red cent.
This time around, it's my office Oscar pool. In no way am I going to win, but there are a select few who think they're going to take it all because they're so well-read and smart and on the cusp of having psychic ability. We can only hope they subscribe to the Miss Cleo theory of ESP.
Don't you wish that sometimes you could have a big neon sign over your head that flashes 'Leave Me The Hell Alone@!'? This wouldn't be the case for everyone you come in contact with -- only the annoying, stalker types who can't take a hint.

Awww, so sorry Coach K. and Bobby Knight. Not only does Duke lose, but they lose to Indiana, minus the Hoosier's former chair-hurling leader. It's a great day.

Thursday, March 21, 2002

I love how in this dog-mauling case, the dogs are referred to as "mischievious". Doesn't this make them sound like a poor, yet full-of-moxie, trouble-making character with a heart of gold in a Charles Dickens book rather than all-out attack dogs?
Long before there was the Sunscreen song and all these e-mail forwards about appreciating life, there was the Desiderata. Probably a few people you know had it hanging in poster form above their beds in college. I just came across it again and completely forgot about the bad mood I was in:

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender,
Be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others -
Even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons - they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.


Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career -
However humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is.
Many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection, neither be cynical about love.
For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
It is as perenial as the grass.
Take kindly the council of the years,
Gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune,
But do not distress yourself with imaginings -
Many fears are borne of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.


You are a child of the universe.
No less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
Keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be careful. Strive to be happy.






Today I'm sick of:
Being sick!
Being blown off
Ben's whispering on "Felicity"
Biting my tongue when I should be telling people off
Loud people
Stupid men

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

OK, so we've basically been told we're going to be unemployed in a few months and I'm considering my options. I don't want to copy edit anymore and I want a job where I use my imagination. Anyone out there got any ideas?

It's all so weird how the words 'you're getting laid off' didn't even come out at this meeting yesterday, yet everyone I work with is already thinking about their next move. We were wondering why it was told to us in such a warm, fuzzy, Pollyannaish sort of way and we all came to the same conclusion -- if they'd freaked out, we'd all be jumping ship right now and nothing would get done. We're not sure if the meeting was to serve as a warning for us to get on the ball and look, or if they really think there's a chance to save us and that we hold the key. From what it sounds like, though, we need one big mother freaking key and my gut tells me there's no locksmith that can make one that size.
My name is Karen, and I'm pissed off. Yes, I think it's safe to say this year has yet to live up to expectations, after a promising start. I've realized there is very little I can control when it comes to what I want, and that really makes me mad. Grrrr.

Tuesday, March 19, 2002

I find it utterly sick that an office will put someone in a high position, yet everyone is afraid of this person. Like if someone has had a file for three days that should've been read on Friday and no one is yelling at them for it because they are afraid to get their head bit off, therefore holding up the process even more, isn't that just a bit weird?

Monday, March 18, 2002

From the people with no sense of humor department: On IMDb, under the movie Zoolander, under factual error, they have "There is no coal mining in New Jersey." I'm sure someone felt very smug while typing that in...
Dude! Add Sebastian Bach to the growing number of celebrities moving to my hometown (therefore making me want to leave)...and he's already causing trouble!
Just to note, the restaurant where this went down is literally five minutes from my house. Now with him and all the other famous coming to town, trying to get away with their Hollywood antics (Geraldo thought he owned the whole damn county, but we are blessed in that he has vacated the area), I'm debating who is worse, the celebrities (except Derek Jeter) or the BENNIES/WEBS. I wish all of them would leave and stop driving up property taxes.
It took only three years, but I finally had THE classic New York rainy-day moment. I was hustling up 34th St., right along the curb to skirt around the throngs of people when suddenly a big ass mini van comes out of nowhere and woosh! Who gets the big tidal wave of NYC oceanic puddle but yours truly. My pants (jeans, which means I'll be drying out forever) absorbed 90 percent of the wetness and I bought a blow dryer that hasn't done much. I am now relying on a space heater to do the trick. Had the Gap been open, I would've run in an bought another pair, but alas, I wasn't about to wait 20 minutes in the freezing rain for them to let me in. The sad part is I almost called out today because I've been feeling pukey since last night. There is no justice in the world. And I don't even want to think about what was in that puddle...

Sunday, March 17, 2002

From now on, if any of you don't see me writing, contemplating writing, breathing writing, etc, you must yell at me and say "Hey Karen (KB, Bischer), I thought you were going to be a best-selling novelist. What are you doing about it?" And don't let me use the "But I don't know what to write" excuse, because that's all it is. I've got an untapped resource of writing in this overly imaginative head of mine and I'll be damned if I sit on it any longer.
Erin Go Bragh, Top O' the Morning and all that stuff.

I hate waking up from dreams that are really good. And I hate dreams where you get exactly what you want because that rarely happens in real life.

Happy thought of the day: I got my acceptance letter to UD 7 years ago today. Since it was St. Patrick's day, I can even remember what I was wearing. And just the week before I had fully given up on getting in. We had a class trip to Washington and I remember going past the Delaware exit on I-95 and thinking "Well, I'll never have to drive down this way unless I'm visiting Des." Amazing how things end up working out. Oh, alright, so a dream did come true in that case...

Friday, March 15, 2002

OK, I'll fill it out one more time, since a few questions are different. Thanks Des...

1. What time is it? 2:45PM (Andrea Yates was just sentenced to life in prison)

2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate: Karen Ann Bischer

3. What is your Nickname: KB, Bisch, Bischer, Brat, Stinky

4. Parents names: Janet and Bob

5. Number of candles that appeared on your last cake? 24

6. Date that you regularly blow them out? April 23

7. Pets: None right now :(

8. Eye color: Grey-green

9. Hair color: Blondish

10. Piercings? None

11. Tattoos? NO

12. How much do you love your job? As much as I love NJ Transit and having wet feet on a rainy day

13. Hometown? Middletown NJ, in a little hamlet known as River Plaza

14. Current Residence: Middletown

15. Been toilet papering: NO

16. Loved somebody so much it made you cry? Love isn't supposed to make you cry.

17. Been in a car accident? Yes

18. Croutons or bacon bits? Bacon bits

19. Sprite or 7 UP? Sprite

20. Favorite Movie: Gidget, The Producers, The Princess Bride, Field of Dreams, 10 Things I Hate About You, Center Stage (pure cheese, you gotta love it)

21. Favorite Holiday: Christmas and the day we set the clocks ahead in April

22. Favorite day of the week: Friday

23. Favorite word or phrase: You're kidding me

24. Favorite Toothpaste: Crest

25. Favorite Restaurants: Dallas BBQ

26. Favorite Flower: Daisies, daffodils, anything yellow

27. Favorite Drink: I don't have one.

28. Favorite Sport to watch: Curling (duh. If you don't know the real answer by now...)

29. Preferred type of ice cream: cookies and cream

30. Sesame Street Character: The Swedish Chef or Beeker(I know, they were on the Muppet show, but it's all the same)

31. Disney or Warner Bros? Disney

32. Favorite Fast Food Restaurant: Boston Market!!!

33. Your last hospital visit? Went with mom when she had to swallow her radioactive iodine for her thyroid. Then I had to stay away from her for 3 days because she could make other people radioactive!

34. What color is your bedroom carpet: blue

35. How many times did you fail your permit or drivers test? I passed on the first shot

36. Who is the last person you got mail from before this? Co-worker

37. Ever been convicted of a crime? no

38. At which single store would you choose to max out your credit card? GH Bass, for shoes and clothes

39. What do you do most often when you are bored? daydream

40. Most annoying thing? NJ Transit! and obnoxious cellphone people

41. Bedtime? btwn 10-11 on weeknights, later on weekends.

44. Favorite all time TV shows: Gilmore Girls, Sex and the City, Pop-Up Video

45. Last person you went out to dinner with? Dexter and Vicki

46. Last Movie you saw at a theater: I Am Sam
47. Finished?: 2:55 (the soaps are back on, Andrea's still getting life)

48. DO YOU HAVE A BEACH HOUSE? I live five miles from the beach, why the hell would I need a beach house??
Happy early birthday to Dad, who will be 50somethingish on Sunday. As he likes to say, they'll be having a big parade in New York in his honor, like they do every year.

My throat has been tickly for a week now. It gets really bad on the train, which is awful because there is no where to run to to cough really hard or gargle. Must be all that healthy re-circulated NJ Transit air. Speaking of, remind me to fire off a hate letter to them. My train has come in on the same track 3 times this week, and one stairwell is being repaired, so that leaves two small escalators going up. It's usually bad with one train full of hoardes of people, but this morning another train pulled up right after ours on the other side of the track. Close to 1000 people, maybe more, trying to get up 2 escalators. You can imagine the pushing and shoving that ensued...
Well, it's the Ides of March and I'm be-waring.

I have seen it all on the train. Last night, these two D&D-looking dudes my age were sitting across the aisle from me. About halfway through the trip, I notice that the guy sitting on the end of the seat is playing with his watch and his ticket. He's flying them around like they're space ships or something and I'm kind of intrigued. The watch and ticket are then suddenly at war with each other. He starts making noises like "Pow!", "Vroom!" etc, followed by complete sentences "I'm going to get you damn it!" Now I'm a bit weirded out. I figure he's doing this to amuse his friend. Then I notice the friend is fast asleep, so the whole "watch and ticket attack each other" was just to amuse himself. Needless to say, the ticket was destroyed and lost the battle. I mean, paper is no match for metal after all.

Thursday, March 14, 2002

I'm feeling aggravation creeping up on me, so allow me to find the good in things for a moment to ward it off.
-- It's almost spring!
-- I get to buy a pretty dress for my cousin's wedding next week, and can actually afford to get a nice one!
-- Lent is almost over and I can eat chocolate in 10 days
-- There are trees blooming and flowers popping up
-- The boat will be going in the water soon
-- The Yankees will be playing soon
OK. I feel a little better.

Wednesday, March 13, 2002

So I'm beginning to wonder why I'm not taking a date to my cousin's wedding. Is there anything worse than being the only one sitting at your table while everyone else is out there dancing to some cliche tune like 'Wonderful Tonight', and people look at you sadly as if to say "Oh, the poor spinster"? Ugh. I will use those opportunities to use the bathroom or hide or whatever it is we single people have to do to not feel persecuted. I'm sure some relative will be trying to set me up with some eligible bachelor. And then I'll get strange looks when I don't go out for the bouquet toss (don't even get me started on the idea of rounding up all the single women to catch some flowers, only to be embarassed by having the strange dude who caught the garter try to push it up onto your leg. Who the hell came up with that idea?)...this stuff is so much simpler when you are either10 years old or bring a date.
My fortune cookie in today's lunch: "Someone can read your mind." Awesome! I wonder who it is? Are they enjoying that I have "If you Could Read my Mind" ( even before I got the cookie, which is pretty spooky), by Gordon Lightfoot and Wham's "Everything She Wants" stuck in my head at the moment?
It's so exciting to know that your company not only reads your e-mail, but tracks your internet progress, and therefore doesn't trust you! I wonder if they've noticed how many people are looking for jobs....

Tuesday, March 12, 2002

Here are the twenty rules for sports fans from ESPN 2. I especially like the ideas about "interfaith" marriages and the notion of being a fan of both the Mets AND Yankees.
Hollis is in for becoming a pirate, too! As I realize piracy is going to be a popular idea, I can only take a few of you. Fill out the following quiz and see if you're ready to sail the seven seas with us:

Can you be on Karen's pirate ship? Take out a pen or pencil and copy down the following. Send your answers to Karen and she'll tell you if you're eligible to join up!

1) A big blond pirate starts bossing everyone around and being intimidating. You:
a) bitch about it with your fellow pirates
b) calmly talk to here, gently telling her that there are no office politics on this ship
c) ignore her
d) throw her overboard

2) Work can be stopped
a) never, as a pirate's work is never done
b) on Sunday
c) at night
d) whenever The Real World, Trading Spaces, Felicity and Sex and the City are on

3) The Yankees:
a) is a term for northerners
b) suck
c) are OK
d) are a religion to Karen and you think so, too.

4) In college you…
a) belonged to a sorority where you all dressed alike and drove black Hondas
b) were part of a drum circle
c) studied really hard
d) threw a party where 2 kegs were kicked in 2 hours

5) For men: You are really good at
a) sword fighting
b) being a jerk
c) football
d) giving massages and cooking fine cuisine

Feeling: Sore throaty
Craving: A Friendly's chocolate Fribble and chicken fingers
Wondering: Why is it you always get the most attention from the last guy you want it from?
Mentally singing: "What a Wonderful World This Would Be" (I was watching Animal House this weekend)
Hating: People who sneeze overly loud and don't cover their mouth. It's like they're doing it for attention.
I'm thinking of running away and becoming a pirate. Anyone care to join?

Monday, March 11, 2002

I don't know why it bothers me so much when I see something addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" Actually, I do know why -- if a woman decides to take her husband's name, why does she have to lose her first AND last name? Mr. and Mrs Smith is one thing, but to put HIS name on it, and make HER look like his property is soooooooooooooo outdated. There, that was my singleton rant for the day.
I never really cared about the NCAA basketball tournament until I covered the UD men's team, which made the tourney in 1998 and 1999. Three years ago tomorrow, I went to Charlotte for one of the most exciting days of my life (and Amy K.'s, too) and three years ago tomorrow I realized what an asshole Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski is. After Delaware lost, we hung around to watch the other tourney games (the joys of a press pass!), including Duke vs. Florida A&M. Well, Duke gets on the court and looks like a bunch of professionals, in size and game-play, and they manhandle the poor Floridians. We went back to hang out in the press conference area following the game, and the Florida A&M coach gets up, and though his team lost, he was hysterically funny. He was just happy to have been there and losing to Duke wasn't the end of the world to him. Bring in coach K. The ABC news reporter sitting next to me makes the "mistake" of asking the question "With a lot of the favorites losing surprisingly in the first round, was that on your mind tonight at all?" Well! Coach K. decides this is the perfect time to act like a coaching diva, and laces into the man for asking such a "stupid" question. He was snippy to a few reporters that night, and I sat there dumbfounded. Considering the awesome and extremely personable Delaware coach, Mike Brey, was once Coach K's assistant coach, it was pretty shocking to see. And his team had just won. And won huge! There was no reason for him to be in a bad mood and to go off on someone like that. But since he's practically a god in North Carolina, it's OK to behave that way, even though anyone else in the real world could get fired for such an act. I wasn't angry too long. He got what he deserved later on when his team lost the title to UConn. I can only hope the same happens this year.
We at the office were just discussing all the great songs of our youth. I now have "Because I Love You (The Postman Song)", "I Wanna Be Rich" and "Forever Your Girl" in my head. While many people would consider this a bad thing, I'm feeling a bit reminiscent. Even though the years were full of angst (Does he like me? Will he be at the dance? Are my Bass shoe laces tied the right way?), you gotta love those middle school tunes.
At 8:46 this morning, I was on the corner of Fifth and 36th. This time, I looked downtown, something I didn't do around the same time on September 11 and deeply regretted later on.

I found the documentary very well-done. Nothing hokey or over-dramatic, nothing over-exploitive. But it did remind me, for the first time in six months, of the fear I had that day and in the days following. I still don't think I can wrap my mind around all of it, and that's probably for the best.

Sunday, March 10, 2002

If anyone out there is avoiding thinking about certain things, I don't recommend getting sick. Since there's nothing really good on TV, and I'm too tired to read, I've had WAY too much time on my hands to just think. Last night, I woke up at 3 and couldn't fall back asleep because it hurt too much to swallow. So, I lay there, not counting sheep, but thinking about the e-mails I should fire off to people who have hurt/annoyed/ignored/ me. The one I had in mind for my office (should they give me a hard time about wanting to leave at 4:30 tommorrow to get to a 6:30 doctor's appointment) is a doozy. Of course, I'll never send any of these "That's it, I've had enough" snarlings, but part of me thinks it would be funny to see the reactions of these people, who think I'm this sweet little thing. And I guess there are a few things I should get off my chest...but as Scarlett O'Hara likes to say "I'll worry about that tommorrow."

Saturday, March 09, 2002

Somebody save me! Wait, why am I asking this today? No one is going to see this post till probably tomorrow night, as everyone has lives and doesn't care about the ramblings of poor sick me on a Saturday. Well, just know that I'm going insane with boredom and I'm having major issues with the new Yankee radio broadcast. They're on a new network with a new announcer and old John Sterling. Having gotten used to them being on 770 and with Sterling and Kay for the past 10 years, you can say this is going to be an adjustment. I'm not that great with change, however.
Oh man am I miserable. It's going to be a beautiful day outside and I've been hit with something like the flu. I enjoyed an evening complete with sore throat, low-grade fever, chills, sweats, stuffy nose and major body aches and my favorite fever-induced dreams. I am just grateful that it happened this weekend, when I had no plans. Ugh. At least one of my favorite episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is on -- the majorly bad, 1980s-laden Hobgoblins. TV will have to be my friend today. Oh, joy.

Friday, March 08, 2002

I know that people are against showing this 9/11 video on Sunday, but who is forcing them to watch it? If there are people interested, who want to put in perspective, they'll tune in. For those who don't want to see it, they could simply avoid one channel out of the 75 their cable systems offer. It's not going to be on every station, it's supposedly very tastefully done and I'm sure there will be other things worth watching that night.
Did you ever feel like you had so much to say, but you don't know how to say it so you end up staying quiet? Is there any cure for this sort of thing?

Thursday, March 07, 2002

I think I have proof that men may actually notice hair more than women. I straightened my normally curly locks for the day and most of the guys in the office have noticed, and only one girl. My hair is doing a strange flippy thing at the ends and a girl who sits in my cube said "I like it. Very 'That Girl.'" My intention wasn't to look like Marlo Thomas today, but I guess I'll have to deal.

Wednesday, March 06, 2002

Some dude was just on TV whining about being a man and having to "provide" for him and his wife. Now, I know many men seem to think they have to bear the weight of the financial world on their shoulders, but isn't this thinking a bit out-dated? In most couples, both the man and the woman are working. So shouldn't this be like a, dare I say it, partnership, where both give equally? I remember a guy friend saying that regardless, men will still not feel good about themselves unless they're raking in a lot of cash for their family. While this is admirable for your selflessness, I'd like to tell all you men out there that there is NO REASON to feel this way. If there is a woman in your life nagging you to make more money so she can have nice things, dump her. Yes, we want you to be financially secure, but if we're making our own salary there's no reason for all this stress to be on you. If it's women wanting their SUVs, expensive dinners out, beach club memberships, etc. that are putting the men in this country into their graves at a younger age than us, shouldn't we feel the tiniest bit sad? And if men are in this whole "I need to make more money than my wife" attitude just because they're a bunch of macho shmucks, well shame on them. And quit whining about it.
I HATE NOT KNOWING!!!
thanks. i needed that.
Allow me a moment of Jersey (that's JERSEY not JOISEY to all you idiots out there who think we all talk like we're on The Sopranos) cornyness. Jersey Girl is such a great song. I give props to Tom Waits for writing it, and Bruce for making it such a hit, well, in NJ anyway. It was written long before the sterotype of a Jersey Girl existed, so there are no references to high hair, long nails, Camaros and a "Joisey" accent. I don't know if it's because it says 'Cause Down the Shore everything's alright', which always gives me alump in my throat, or that it's a ballad about a girl from Jersey. I just love it. I wonder if Kevin Smith's new movie of the same name will use the song -- I hear the movie is actually based on him being a father to his Jersey-born daughter, so I think that's kinda sweet.

And what is it about guys in navy blue? It doesn't matter who he is, but if he's wearing a navy sweater, T-shirt, etc, he looks totally hot! It must be that whole Yankee thing.
I have the sudden urge to be on a warm beach, soaking up the sun and not thinking of work or anything else, for that matter. Too bad I'm not so keen on flying at the moment. Guess I'll just have to wait a few more months till summer hits the Jersey Shore. Sigh.
Today I miss my college apartment. A few days ago, Des and I were wistfully discussing how good we had it for those two years at 23B Duke St. Let me describe the place to you so you know why we mourn it: First, it was a 2 bedroom apartment and the bedrooms were quite big. While there were four of us living there, we never had a problem of "needing space" (well, maybe at one point we did, but that involved a drug dealer and a pitbull puppy). Each bedroom had 2 windows and big full bathrooms. We had a good sized kitchen and a huge living room that did very well during parties as it held tons of people and our beerpong table. Then there were the two balconies and the exorbitant amount of closet space and a washer and dryer in the unit. Sigh. And the best part was the cathedral ceilings with skylights. This was fun because I used to jump up and down on my bed (to make the downstairs neighbors think I was getting some action) and never had to worry about hitting my head. Do you know what we paid in total for this lovely piece of real estate? $1000 a month. Yes, it was Delaware, but could you imagine an apartment like that around here? If I had three jobs, I'd still never be able to afford it.

Tuesday, March 05, 2002

Getting an apartment in the New York City vicinity is a real game of greed right now. A guy in my office looked at a nice studio in my old hood of Astoria yesterday and the money grubbing landlord is charging 1100 for it. Now, Astoria is convenient and young and all, but a friend of mine was paying 1100 for a really nice ONE BEDROOM a year ago. A studio for that much? Are these people nuts? And it's worse everywhere else. Like Hoboken, for example. I'll hopefully be living there with my two buds come late spring, but there's no way in hell I'd ever be able to afford 1600 on my own. The sick thing is there are people who CAN afford it and will pay it, willingly. I'd like to know what these people do for a living because last time I checked, there was a recession on. But they're not the ones charging this insane amount of money. The people who own the buildings are to blame. Landlords who are this f'ing greedy with this type of economy should be tarred and feathered.

On a lighter note, here is a very sweet story from the NY Times.

Monday, March 04, 2002

So I'm Winnie-the-Pooh, which wouldn't be that much of a problem except that Rabbit is my favorite character and Pooh can be a bit dumb.


Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!
I just read an article about banning cellphones while driving and I seriously wonder why every state except for New York hasn't taken action on this. Yesterday, I saw a guy make a right hand turn while dialing a cellphone. His eyes were nowhere on the road and he as going through a traffic light. What if the light had been red? I'm so sick of seeing people yacking on their phones with only one hand on the wheel because they are taking MY life, and every other innocent driver's lives into their ego-driven hands. Or should I say hand? And I even worry about hands-free devices just because dialing is involved. I'd rather people have a speakerphone in their cars with voice-activated dialing. Then at least you have both hands on the wheel and both eyes on the road. Then you get the people who are like 'Well, what about changing the radio or putting on makeup?" Um, shouldn't a cop be pulling these people over, regardless of if there's a law against that sort of thing or not? People really need to learn that they are piloting a few tons of steel that can do some serious damage. But I guess talking to someone five minutes before you get to your home phone and putting on mascara in a 40 MPH zone is way more important.
Here's a special shout out to Hollis who got into U of Michigan and Penn State for grad school!

Hmph. Not one person at the office has asked how my eye is. How insensitive!

Sunday, March 03, 2002

14 1/2 hours of partying and 4 hours of sleep later, I am proud to say I'm still standing and not hungover from this weekend's festivities. And what fun they were!

Dexter met up with me for our first stop, Chris' St. Patrick's Day party because Hoboken is a bit off and celebrates the holiday earlier in the month. Please note, Chris proudly displayed to everyone the wasteband of his green undies, I mean pantos. Not panties, pantos. He wanted me to specify. Anyway, after spending 4 1/2 hours there, mingling with everyone (including the 2/3 Chris claimed he didn't know) Dexter and I collected Vicki (who wasn't feeling so great in the afternoon) and headed to Kim's karaoke birthday party in Manhattan. We made it after a few hurdles (the keys gettting locked in the house, the rain, obnoxious woman on cellphone on the bus to the Path station) and were quickly thrown into karaoke action. Dexter and Kurt did a stirring rendition of "It Wasn't Me" followed by a heartfelt "Girl You Know It's True". Rob and Fab (God rest whichever one killed himself's sole) couldn't have done it any better themselves. My singing menu for the night included the themes to the "Facts of Life" and "Different Strokes" with Dexter, "Piano Man" (I don't think I'll ever have a bad memory to singing along with this song, dating back to my Review days) with Vicki and Kurt's sister, Lori, and then Lori pointed to one of the best songs of all time, "Cecilia", in the song selection book and we were soon up singing that. I later did another S&G classic, "Feelin' Groovy", with Mike, but the whole 'hello lampost' part gave me the giggles. The whole room was great because not only were the karaokiers singing, everyone else joined in too, which was good for people like me who can't carry a tune in a bucket. I'm amazed I still have a voice. Oh, and I'm left with this quesiton: why is Tool's Schism a karaoke song? I mean, Dexter and Jay got through it fine, but it's the last song I picture people getting drunk and singing along goofily to.

Aside from an incident with a snarly cab driver, the Saturday was probably one of the most fun I've had in a long time. I will be going to bed at 8 tonight to recover.