Thursday, October 31, 2002

Scary thought for Halloween -- the creepy stalker guy, (masquerading as nice but really he's got a shrine of all the girls who have rejected him in his uber-creepy bedroom.) that every girl has in her life. You don't have to be Pamela Anderson to have one. All you have to do is be nice once, and so starts the 'can't-take-the-hint-even-if-I-blatantly-ignore-you' syndrome. And I'm not talking about the sweet, shy, likes you from afar guy. I'm talking about the 'yeah she wants me to pursue her even if she hasn't spoken to me for a week' types. Admit it. You know one. For just one year, I'd like to go without one...
Merry Christmas! Yes, I know it's Halloween, but they were stringing up Christmas lights in Herald Square, so I'm assuming Tis the season to be jolly.

I hope to god kids still get to celebrate Halloween in schools. From what I'm hearing, the overly-political correctness of the day has now stopped the nation's youth from even uttering the word Halloween in some schools. Case in point -- I was at Old Navy a few weeks ago and a mother was holding up two Halloween-print shirts for her daughter's approval. She said "We'll get you one of these for Black-and-Orange Day at school." Black-and-Orange Day???? Please, if you're going to a religous school or something that is anti Satan, I can understand not 'celebrating' the 'evil day'. But in public schools, it's like the only holiday that all kids can be part of together, as no religion tells you you can't dress up and get cupcakes and play games. At least that's how it was in my day, all of 15 years ago. Because when we thought Halloween, we weren't thinking of the occult, sacraficing the neighbors cat or chanting spells to make bad things happen -- we were thinking of how much fun it was to vote on the best costume, how much candy we'd get and freaking ourselves out going to the local hermit's house for trick-or-treating.

I swear to god, people make kids sound like they're inherently evil and giving them a costume of Sponge Bob Square Pants will bring out the serial killer in them or worse, let them have fun. Sigh.

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

Here's that story on the Voice vs. Voice. Note that the sentence I was thinking of used the term 'good will associated' with the NY version. Ha!!!!
Just when I thought the NY Village Voice couldn't get more pretentious, it sues a small Cape Cod newspaper with the word Voice in it's title because they feel it's some kind of infringement. Um, has the NY Times sued the LA Times lately, the Washinton Post sued the New York Post? And the scary thing is, this isn't the first time it's happened -- they sued a Kansas City newspaper for using the word Voice, and ended up paying them off to remove it! Puh-lease. I wish I could find the "cease and desist" letter they've sent this paper because it mentions something about the good news they spread, when really they're a bunch of negative asses.

I've only ever liked the Voice for a few columns, but on the whole it always aggravates me in some way. Their blatant eye-rolling for anyone who likes being an American or takes pride in living here; the fact that they hate every "mainstream" movie or album to come out; the fact that they seem to pat themselves on the back for being so politically correct, yet have half naked women prancing around their classified section advertising prostitution. I mean escort services.

I hope the Cape Cod paper sticks to its guns, because if this does become a court case, I can only hope it will result in the NY Voice getting knocked off its high horse in some sort of way. Because, really, who has the right to own a word?

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

Thank you, Kevin Kernan, for voicing all that was wrong with this year's World Series.

OK, men of NJ Transit, since I'll only be enjoying your company for a few more weeks I must tell you something -- brush your teeth. And cover your mouth. I can't tell you how many times I've had Mr. Cocky Businessman sitting next to me, and he'll have the worst breath known to man and decide to yawn every five seconds. Big Yawns. Yawns with sound effects. It has to stop. Think of yawning like coughing -- you're supposed to cover your mouth so you don't spread germs. Germs escape (with the bad breath) when you yawn, too, so keep that in mind.

Friday, October 25, 2002

After seeing the vote from about what is the best thing about this World Series, and the number one vote-getter being "No Yankees", I'd just like to say to all you who voted for it -- Up yours.Especially to those of you who were rooting for them last year in a 'show of support' for New York. What, you were secretly wishing they weren't there while rooting for them at the same time? Pick a stance, Sybil.

You know what creeps me out more than scary movies and witches and goblins? Fan Fiction. Something about it just worries me. I guess it's the idea of someone being into a TV/Movie/Book character so much that they feel the need to re-write endings or make new beginnings that gets me -- as someone who writes her own original stuff, though, I think it might kind of humorous to see an addict's take on your own creation. But then I picture someone with a crazed look in their eye, hunched over a desk, writing by candlelight, thinking that I'm a complete idiot for not writing my characters to their fullest potential and that they can do better. Whatever floats your boat, I guess...but it still creeps me out.

Thursday, October 24, 2002

So I'm not giving much credence to Master Card's most memorable baseball moments for several reasons:

1)They gave out those damn ThunderStix at the game -- I'm not sure if the Giants fans had them before, but last night, they had the Master Card Most Memorable Moment logo on them, as if they were given to fans to use during the ceremony. The new face of baseball meeting it's history -- ThunderStix are the new The Brooklyn Dodger Symphony Band...I swear this was the exact thought going through the mind of some hot-shot at Master Card. And he/she should be hung by his/her toenails (and the ThunderStix inventor) just like the person who invented the Wave and thought up Macarena Night at the ballpark.

2)People put Pete Rose in the top 10: I can deal with this, but that they were shouting "Hall of Fame" makes me sick. Stop martyring the jerk, for crying out loud. Jim Caple of ESPN makes a
great argument for letting Pete in the Hall -- make him apologize first.

3)During the ceremony, Ray Liotta and Andy Garcia decided to scream every top-ten vote-getter (probably because Master Card told them to), because you know, Hank Aaron's homer and stuff like that isn't exciting enough on its own. Puh-lease.

4)Where the hell was Bobby Thomson's Shot Heard Round the World? I was 26 years away from being born when it happened, but it gives me chills every time I see it/hear it. And Mays' catch. And Maris' homer. And Fisk's homer. And Larsen's perfect game in the WS. Now, I'm one of those who hates the whole 'well, back in my day baseball was better' thing, but these were huge moments that meant something in game-play.

Sigh. I hope we don't have to deal with anything like this for a LONG time. I'm so sick of baseball and Master Card forcing me to "realize" how great the game is. Note to sponsors: The All-Century team was enough. So stop shoving this history appreciating down everyone's throat and stop patting yourself on the back because the real fans were "appreciating" the game long before you tried to make in en vogue.

And note to Aaron, the Bachelor, who was bowled over by Gwen's philosophy of 'Work like you don't need to, Love like you've never been hurt and Dance like no one is watching' -- do you ever read your e-mail? I get this forward like twice a month. I swear he thought she came up with that on her own, he was so impressed...idiot.

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

Best quote about the sniper: my co-worker, aghast that he keeps eluding the police, "What the hell? Is he flying around in Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang?"

Monday, October 21, 2002

Don't you just love the office town crier? Every office I've worked in has one. And it's always been a man, which is odd because the stereotype is that women thrive on gossip and men think it's stupid. But here (and the other places I've worked in) it's the one dude who really has no life and lives to spill out the words "did you hear the news?" Even if it's lame news. Or untrue news. Or news that you heard six hours ago and isn't news to you anymore. The best is when you do know what's going on and the town crier has his facts wrong and you try to correct him on it. Then he will argue to the death with you on it because he is the town crier and therefore "informed."

And has Barry Bonds' head gotten fatter or is it just me? And I don't mean figuratively. The man looks like a human sausage. Steroids will do that.

Friday, October 18, 2002

Pet Peeve of the day: Celebrity activists. Like, can you please spew your political venom elsewhere? Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, Harry Belafonte (even if my dad blasts your music while hanging wall paper), et al -- SHUT UP! It's bad enough we have politicians of every party tooting thier own horns over what's right and wrong. And just because you're a democrat or in the green party or holier-than-thou, it doesn't nulify the fact that you're RICH like the dreaded, gasp, REPUBLICANS. When you start turning down big money for movie rolls, record deals or whatever, then we'll talk about how aware you are of the common man. Until then, please go away.

The other night, Vicki and I were debating bitches we know and whether their behavior is acceptable or not. Vicki (one of the best judges of character I know) brought up the point that insecurity is a leading cause in bitchiness (and I mean long-term bitchiness, not "I'm-having-a-bad-day-I'll-apologize-later-for-my-actions" bitchiness) and that maybe we should overlook it or cut these people some slack because of that. At that moment that seemed like something I can deal with, but a few days later, I'm changing my stance. Sorry bitches, there is no excuse for your behavior. Men and women bitches alike. Especially when you make people feel like crap (I'm speaking of work-place bitches in particular) because you're the one feeling insecure. No, it's not accpetable. Here's why:

-- There are plenty of insecure people in the world. Whether it's with looks, the opposite sex, family problems or just dealing with people in social situations, I think almost everyone has expereineced it at some point. But to be a bitch and use "insecurity" as a crutch is just wrong. Because the majority of insecure people are nice and humane. You're a bitch because you want to be, plain and simple.

--It's one thing to realize you're being a bitch and then apologize for it. When we're kids we're told treat others as you want to be treated, that other people have feelings too, etc. Bitches don't seem to realize this and think the world revolves around them and humiliate when they think it's necessary. Tell me how I'm supposed to feel sorry for this?

--Bitchy behavior isn't a disease -- it's not like depression or social anxiety -- it can be stopped.

--Now, I know there is a root to the bitchy behavior and maybe there's something so horrible in their past that makes them behave this way. But, like I said before, there are plenty of people who have had something bad happen to them and don't take it out on other people. If something that bad happened to you anyway, you should be seeking help, not making others feel like crap.

--Bitchy behavior is allowed because there are nice people out there like Vicki and myself who try to walk in these people's shoes and see where they're coming from. After 25 years of doing so, I'm stopping myself from doing this. I'm sure there are some reformed bitches on the planet, but the majority I know aren't going through an Ebeneezer Scrooge-like change because they think they're in the right. And there's no changing someone who doesn't want to.

So, in conclusion, sorry, bitches, I'm not putting up with your shit anymore.

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

So it's good to know the Fox broadcasts are just as shameful for other teams as they are for the Yankees. Last night, I had the game on in the background while I was cleaning when the 'controversial interference' play happened at third base. Now, it was a bad play, but as always, Tim and Joe have to harp on it for at least two innings making it sound like the biggest travesty to hit baseball since the Black Sox scandal. I flip away for a little while to watch MTV's FM Nation (more on that later) and when I come back, they're STILL analyzing the play, this time with someone who sounds like Steve Palermo. My question is (since I didn't see the whole game) if it was Steve, did he just happen to be there, or did Fox hire him for bad umping situations and they used it for major announcer whining action last night. If so, that's stupid. Palermo is a cool dude and he's very competent behind the mike, but we don't need an ump's take on every thing, especially since McCarver and Buck would be whining about it for the rest of the game regardless of what the rule book said. I hope this isn't Fox's latest gimmick... Please, someone, take back baseball when Fox's contract runs out!!!

OK, FM Nation. What can I say except there are annoying people on that, too! But in a good way because you can laugh at the three bimbos who get their friend to participate in a wet T-shirt, only to have her whine beyond belief when she gets burned with 'scalding hot water'. They're totally drunk, so that makes them even more stupid, and they re-enact every closing time at a college bar by trying to take on the bouncer in a self-righteous, drunken arguement. You can't get this stuff with scripted television. And just to note, the whiny one in the wet T-shirt is studying to be a history teacher. She'd better be teaching kids with no TVs, because man, what student is going to take her seriously after seeing that. Ha!

Sunday, October 13, 2002

Remember how in 2000 there were so many people complaining that a Mets/Yankees World Series would be detrimental to the game because no one outside the NY area would care? Let's hope someone says the same thing if the Giants and Angels (both California teams, both WILD CARD TEAMS. Ugh) make it this year. If we don't hear it, we know one thing for sure -- people just love to hate New York. Or its sports teams, anyway.

Friday, October 11, 2002

I'm so tired of men who don't take women sports fans seriously. Thankfully, I've had more guys be impressed by me than those who just shrug me off. Unfortunately, excluding my dad and his best friend (who sat me in front of the TV during the 1977 World Series in the hopes I'd bring the Yankees luck) they're mostly my age. So that means there's a whole older generation of ball-scratching, beer-chugging males who think that sports ain't no place for dang women. And many just happen to be 1)athletes 2)sportswriters. This is just sad. Take for example, this ultrasexist quote by Jack Morris, that was listed among one of my favorite sportswriter's "favorite" quotes:

"The only time I want to talk to a woman when I'm naked is if I'm on top of her or she's on top of me."

If anyone has seen Jack Morris, you'd know he's not someone women go running after, so he should've been content with female sportswriters even talking to him. Anway.

I think it's because men can use sports as a way to make themselves look smarter that they pull this bullshit. When a non-sports fan woman walks into a room and goes 'Honey, how many home runs did the Patiots score?' he can explain to her about touchdowns and feel superior, then laugh to his buddies about it. Ah, but with a woman who knows the game just as well as he does, he has nothing to look smarter about. That's why the old guys sometimes drag out the 'well, I don't get how people can be fans of a sport they never played'. That means 'how can anyone without a jockstrap understand the nuances of sports?' Oh, please.

So I guess my theory is the old geezers hate that women are treading on their 'territory'. Sigh. Once they realize we're there to like the game and not to ruin their guy time the better off they'll be.
1. If you could only choose 1 cd to ever listen to again, what would it be?
Ah, since you can burn CD mixes now, this question is easy. It would have to have Sinatra, Bruce, Madonna, some cheezy 80s love songs, some cheezy 80s upbeat songs, the Beatles, the Beach Boys, Janet Jackson, Beethoven and disco

2. If you could only choose 2 movies to watch ever again, what would they be?
The Producers and Sense and Sensibility

3. If you could only choose 3 books to read ever again, what would they be?
Just as Long as We're Together, by Judy Blume, A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving and Bridget Jones' Diary by Helen Fielding

4. If you could only choose 4 things to eat or drink ever again, what would they be?
Chik-Fil-A nuggets, yankee pot roast, snapple lemon iced tea and Cadbury Crunchie bars.

5. If you could only choose 5 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be? I couldn't choose. That's unfair.

Thursday, October 10, 2002

Isn't it interesting that in rap videos the women wear next to nothing and the men are usually wearing way more than necessary?
The head rapper and his boyz will be decked out in:
a T-shirt
a basketball/football/baseball jersey
baggy ass pants
a headband
a big thick chain
I know this is what's considered hip, but you've got their freezing female counterparts dressed in:
the shortest jean cutoffs imaginable
bikini top (which her boobs are just about popping out of)
high heels
Can't the men lend the ladies some clothes? And why are the men (with the exception of LL Cool J and a select other few rappers) ugly and get to hang with these beautiful women? It's like the sitcom phenomenon of fat, balding men with "hottie" wives (According to Jim, King of Queens, et al.). You never see a plain-Jane with a hunk. It's kind of unfair...
My theory on why people get so disappointed with dating: they put too much weight on something that should be fun. People are so petrified of being 'alone' that they make dating more difficult than it should be. And anyone that comes out with a 'men suck, women suck, dating sucks' must get rid of their bitter attitude if they ever want to be happy. Then learn to like being with yourself. If you'r eso petrified of being alone, who is going to want to be with a clingy ass like you?

This entry came from a discussion about a co-worker getting stood up on a blind date and the drama that ensued in deciding what to do now (take a few minutes to be pissed about it, move on and don't put so much thought into someone you've never even met, is my theory), and after watching the gross boss on the Real World try to hit on all the girls in the house. He just smacks of desperation and ickiness -- does he wonder why no one wants to be with him?

Tuesday, October 08, 2002

A high-five to Yankee/Tino/Robin lover Tonya. She hath slayed the smarmy dragon! And that deserve major props.

So, I'm walking to Penn Station yesterday and I pass this homeless-looking young guy on Madison Ave. He's got the overly coiffed hair of a heroin-chic Calvin Klein model, but his head is in his hands. He has a cardboard sign with him that says to the effect, he's trying to get money for bus fare back to Toms River New Jersey, which is underlined. I'm momentarily sad, since he's a Jersey boy just trying to get home, but I don't fork over any money. And it's a good thing. Five minutes later, I'm walking up 32nd Street and there's another expensive hairstyle young dude sitting, looking desperate with a sign that says he's been mugged and he's just looking for enough money to get him back to...Toms River New Jersey. Underlined. Methinks these two were some rich spoiled brats who got kicked out when their ecstasy use started to piss off mom and dad. So instead of doing what other rich drug addicts do, they don't get a job on Wall Street or in the entertainment industry. Instead, they try to scam people by playing with their emotions, making them feel sorry for them while they take our money and head anywhere but Toms River. Because really, if you were mugged, the cops would help you get home somehow. Sorry boys, I have a heart, but I'm not stupid.

Monday, October 07, 2002

PS -- what is up with all those plastic 2 stick clappy things that they're using in all these ballparks now? Can't people use their hands to clap anymore?? Note to George: DO NOT introduce these stupid ass things into Yankee Stadium. It would be a sign that you need to 'involve' fans when you shouldn't have to when you field a good team -- the team itself should be gimmick enough.
The Chicken and I are still officially in mourning for the Yankees loss. My feathered friend has even taken to wearing a black-lace mantilla while he quietly sniffles and blames himself for the losing. I have told him it is not his fault, that even though he could kick the Rally Monkey's ass, even the powers of Yankee Chickenness cannot help a ball club in serious need of a small makeover. But he is still inconsolable. What can I say -- love hurts.

As for the rest of the playoff contenders, I'm very happy the Cardinals made it, as it gives Tino a chance to shine in October again. And the Twins make me happy because it's making Bud Selig miserable. I could just picture him sitting in a darkened room when they won yesterday, grumbling and tearing his afghan to shreds. If they win the World Series, it would be so gratifying to see him have to hand over the trophy to them.This would also prove him wrong about small market teams never being able to contend, so ha! Of course, I'm rooting against the Angels and I could only hope that the Giants and Braves both find a way to lose.

Saturday, October 05, 2002

You know, I wouldn't mind the Yanks losing if I didn't have to deal with the smarmy ass people who will throw it back in my face. In a way, I see losing as a cleansing sort of thing. I've been saying since mid-2001 that the Yankees need to focus on their pitching, and now that it's become way apparent that I'm right, something will hopefully get done in the offseason. No more big-time sluggers, thank you very much. Also, I'll get more sleep in October. So it's got it's advantages. But it's those assholes who will smugly rub it in that my fave team lost (even when I don't say a word about their teams) that make this unbearable. Who knows, maybe now I'll actually open my mouth this time....

PS -- Go Twins
I wish people would stop and realize that this Yankee team isn't the 'big bad Yankee team' of four years ago. That the Angels are whipping them isn't because they have 'more heart'. Please, let's not use cliches here. It's because they are younger and quite frankly, more confident than the Yankees are right now. Any Yankee fan who has watched them the past two seasons knows that this isn't what took the field in 1996-2000. They are older, more tired and damn if the pitching doesn't suck right now. But, while the Angels may have the goods to beat the Yankees in two games, what about what happened Tuesday night? Yes, it was the Yankees who came back then. Two more wins ARE possible. Their pitchers have been flaky and their defense a little shoddy. But that can partially be taken care of if Mr. Torre decides to go on a tirade. Yes, Joe, get pissed off. Derek Jeter, get pissed off. Giambi and Mariano, get pissed off. Get pissed off at your teammates who aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing. Ahem, Mondesi, Soriano, Yankee pinch-hitters and the entire pitching staff.

You can't tell a team how to win. It either happens or it doesn't. But a few people stepping up to say that they're not going to take this lying down and for others to get off their asses and do the same might be the ingredient that's missing here. They did have the best record in the American League, afterall. Rally Monkeys, Glaus, Anderson, obnoxious noise-making numchucks aside, this is the Wildcard team they're facing. The Yankees can pull it off -- if they really wanted to.

Thursday, October 03, 2002

Thanks to Tonya for reminding me of the most ridiculous call Timmy Talk Too Much made last night. It was when Senor DJ made his throwing faux pas off his trademark, leap-in-the-air-and-fire move. He was in admonishing mode, saying Jeter tries this move all the time and it never works. Um, obviously the Timster has been away from the Yankees for a while because Tonya, her roommate, my dad and myself (all avid watchers) had the same response despite being 50 miles apart -- "What?" This is a move that almost always works for Jeter...I think Tim has his shortsops mixed up. Ugh.
The strangest thing has happened the past two mornings -- the Jeter Bird (a little thing that literally sounds like he's tweeting "Jeter Jeter Jeter") has returned, very vocally I might add. He hasn't been around in awhile, but he mysteriously turned up again the morning after the real Jeter's home run the other night. Today, he was especially loud, as if trying to make a point. Perhaps he thought the ball called a strike against senor DJ in the 8th last night was a wee bit out of the strikezone too.

I know everyone's like "well, as long as the umpire calls the outside strike consistently for both teams, it's OK', but I have a beef with it -- IT'S NOT A STRIKE! Tell me how this is fair to any batter who doesn't have five-foot long arms? And let's not use the 'it speeds up the game' excuse, as it happened pretty recurringly in last night's game which still went way longer than it should have. Sigh.

Best Fox Instapoll question last night: "Should Torre Send Jeter?" My dad's response: "Send him where? Out for pizza? On a beer run?"

Other commercial that is going to get on my nerves: The frat-boys-go-to-Subway ad. It was on like six times last night. I am liking the cell phone (i'm not sure which one) commercial with Sigfried and Roy in the quickie-mart.

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

Time for me to pick on Fox's awful coverage of the Playoffs. It just promises to get worse as the ratings for each game will become more important:

Commercial I'm going to be extremely sick of: The new 24 ad, with Kiefer sitting there trying to ignore the ringing phone. To me, one of the most annoying sounds on earth is a phone that keeps on ringing --it's like a baby who won't stop screaming. And since it's one of those old-fashioned rings, it's even worse. God help me.

How long it took for McCarver and Buck to start getting on my nerves: 2 innings. When McCarver starts getting self-righteous and runs out of adjectives (if I had to hear "pesky" one more time when describing Eckstein, I was going to send him a thesarus myself), and Buck starts stating the obvious ("just one swing will tie the game") it's time for the mute button.

Stupidest moment of the night: Now, we all know I'm not a fan of the Instapoll 'let's ask the geeks sitting at their computers with the game on in the background' question, but last night just sealed it for me. With Clemens tossing a few times to first to keep a runner honest, the question "Should Clemens concentrate on the hitter?" popped up. You've got to be kidding me! If you're going to have this insanity, at least ask a decent question. Like "Do you think Tim McCarver should shut up about Jason Giambi's pants?"

The There Goes the Patriotism moment of the evening: that the national anthem wasn't even shown. I know they showed God Bless America later, but that's not our country's hymn. Personally, I would have liked to have seen the pre-game stuff, just as a Yankee fan. Instead, we had to sit through the boring-ass, uneccessary pre-game reporting. Just flash the scores, for crying out loud.

And does anyone really want to see the pitch-by-pitch thing? It's almost like it's there so the announcers can sound smart by trying to "educate" us on the nuances of pitcher-and-hitter matchups. I mean, the at-bat was just two seconds ago, I'm sure I didn't forget the 12 pitch (half of which were fouled off) walk. Seriously.

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

HA! My office is too funny! They just tried to pin our work slow-down of late on my department, asking us to not take lunch until everything is done on our end. Why is this a knee-slapper? Because no one in my department EVER takes a lunch. By law, we are supposed to have one hour a day. I can count on both hands the full hours I've used in the past two years, hours I haven't been paid for. I went WITHOUT LUNCH on Thursday just to plow through my work. The shakes I had later, the hunger I had to deal with on the train ride home, yeah, I didn't eat because I like feeling that way.

And the kicker is that we really aren't the problem -- stories aren't getting to us till 4 p.m. (ding! maybe the people who see the stuff before us actually have something to do with it. What a concept!), which we then rush through in a timely fashion. Why do I put up with this? WHY???