Friday, February 27, 2004

I hate when places are so catty you fully expect to find scratching posts in cubicles.
I'm so disenchanted with this place right now, it's not even funny. I could write a book, I tell you...

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Why didn't I become a librarian when I had the chance?! Why???
The most depressing thing happened yesterday -- I found out my contact/eyeglass perscription has gone down yet again. Uuuuuggggghhhhh. It had stayed the same for about five years and I was all "Yeah, I'm not going below -2.75 nanny nanny poo-poo", but alas, I am down to -3.25. I think the doctor could sense my sadness because he was all "Oh, this is normal for someone like you, who reads a lot on the job and looks at a computer all day." This only made me feel worse because if my vision is sinking into oblivion I'd really rather it happened while I was WRITING something for myself rather than while reading someone else's stuff. At least I can still read a book without glasses, but still.

And you know what commercial creeps me out big time? It's the one with the young Italian slick-backed hair guy talking to the middle aged woman about their Toyotas. She's all "Ooh, I like your minivan" and he's all creepily earnest with his "Well I'm thinking of my future and I want a family some day so I got one." And she's like "Are there more guys like you?" And I'm thinking "God I hope not!" There's something about a guy who's planning too far ahead that can send one running for the hills. Guy saving his money and building a nest egg? Good. Guy buying a minivan when he's still single in the hopes of having lots of babies with some woman he hasn't met yet? Creepy.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

I don't know what Jason Giambi is thinking by saying he only lost 4 pounds, because he no longer resembles the Jason Giambi Hallmark ornament hanging out on my computer. I can now find him somewhat attractive without the excess steroid/fast food/whatever it is excess gone because he is no longer lacking a neck...
Just a question about Bush trying to add an amendment to ban gay marriage -- Doesn't the constitution say something about separating church and state? Because you can't tell me that Mr. Bible Toter from Texas isn't going from his religious beliefs here. Ladies and gentleman, this is why I hate politics -- The reason I can't be a Democrat: pompous liberals. The reason I can't be a Republican: Christian zealots. Gays getting married will affect my life the same way straight people getting married does -- it doesn't affect me at all. It's their business. So what's the big deal? More people getting tax breaks for being married?

To each his own, people. Or as a certain document central to our country states -- Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. It's a damn shame people don't take that seriously any more.

Monday, February 23, 2004

The Red Sox front office is MSNBC's Whine of the Week. It totally cracked me up.

What isn't cracking me up, however, is the media's sudden realization that A-Rod and DJ aren't exactly on each other's Christmas card list anymore. Where have they been these past three years? I love how they're all taking Derek's facial expressions at the press conference and A-Rod's usage of verbs to build up a soap opera. These two are grown men playing for the most demanding man in baseball. You think if it starts affecting their play that it's going to be tolerated? You think Joe Torre is going to stand for it? I garauntee you, it won't even get to that point. There's nothing that says they have to be best friends -- all they have to do their job and play well. They're not going to start bobbling plays on purpose to make the other look bad. Give 'em a little credit fellas.

I'm sure their friendship is shaky, but what difference does that make? If it affects Team Chemistry, well that's just sad that they have that much influence over the 23 other grown ups in the clubhouse. This isn't middle school where the two most popular kids are pissed at each other and their cronies have to pick sides. My point? Don't buy into the hype, because all these people sniffing around Jeter's ego, and A-Rod's rejected attempts to make nice are just trying to sell you something -- a newspaper.
The 80s were back in full effect on Saturday -- the roommates and I headed to Rick's 80s "Cocktails and Dreams" party, complete in 80s-style fashion. And I hope to god pinch-rolled jeans, cut up sweatshirts and side ponytails never come back into style EVER again. But the party itself was way awesome. People took the dressing up thing seriously -- one of Rick's friends came dressed as Tom Cruise in Risky Business, complete with sunglasses, a button-down shirt and no pants. "Old Time Rock and Roll" got played in his honor later on. I made my own T-shirt, complete with iron-on felt letters, Carolyn opted for the Flashdance look and Melissa made jaws drop in her tie-dye crazy sweater circa 1988. We were stylin' -- so much so that we practically ducked in the car every time we passed people on the street.

Last night, I had the Hoboken crew over for the final Sex and the City. I busted out the cast-iron grill to make inside-out hamburgers (of 30-MInute Meals fame) and before I even put anything on the grill, the smoke alarms started going nuts, just like during the Belmont party. And Rachel Ray? Those hamburgers took WAY longer than 30 minutes. But the episode was pretty good, though I thought Carrie's subplot was a little too neatly wrapped up. Still, it's the only show I can say I watched every episode of, which is impressive considering how many shows I like in the beginning than lose interest in.

And for my klutziest moment of the weekend: I was going to answer the phone yesterday, and instead walloped my hand on the kitchen faucet. It hurts too touch it now. Only me!

Friday, February 20, 2004

So I really don't get why they had to attach the name Dirty Dancing to that Havana Nights movie, but whatever. Nothing can compare with the original. I even heard Patrick Swayze makes a cameo and tells the main characters to "have the time of your lives." Oh, barf. Johnny Castle would never say such a thing.

I was even comparing soundtracks yesterday and the old-school DD wins, hands down. The new one is all Salsa music and a few oldies remade by today's artists. I mean, god forbid kids enjoy a song by the ORIGINAL artist. I don't remember having a problem at age 11 with Bruce Chanel singing Hey Baby, or Do Your Love me by the Contours. And the original songs on DD 1, well, they're just classic. I mean, "She's like the wind, through my tree?" A totally classic line that you can pull out anywhere and most 20-30 something women will be like "Oh my god, Patrick Swayze!" And let's not forget Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen, which I'll totally have to find for my karaoke party. And of course, the main theme, I've Had the Time of My Life, which is a staple for any wedding these days.

So, in short, the original Dirty Dancing kicks the new Dirty Dancing's ass. Especially since nothing can top "Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Normally, when George Steinbrenner takes something to the media you cringe and hope it gets forgotten. But his backlash at John Henry is classic, especially since most people are like "George, you're totally right!" Seriously -- a salary cap when the Yankee payroll is almost the same as it was last year, but now they have A-Rod? Totally see-through there, Mr. Henry. It's just awesome all the way around on this one.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Tonya and I were just discussing how great it is to be a Yankee fan in New York right now. And not in a smarmy way that gets associated with Yankee fans, either. It's just so hard not to be happy. I mean, how cool is it that in the middle of February, both tabloid newspapers have a baseball story taking up the entire front page? How cool is it that the Yankee store is selling out of A-Rod jerseys? That a Daily News survey asked how many Met games fans are going to this season and 67 percent responded with "Who are the Mets?" (which just totally makes up for that stretch in the late 80s, early 90s when Mets fans couldn't wait to jump on Yankee fans). Tonya and I (and the green almond M&M crew of Julianna and Don and four other Yankee fans) got Friday night season tickets yesterday, and the prospect of 13 definite games in the Bronx is just way exciting. Opening Day is 40 days away, but I want it to be here now!

Speaking of the holy green almond M&Ms, they'd better be coming back in color soon because black and white just isn't going to cut it...

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Happy Pitchers and Catchers!

Happy A-Rod Press Conference Day!

Happy ESPN actually calls Jeter/A-Rod "best left side of the infield EVER" Day!

Oh, Happy Day!

Monday, February 16, 2004

Proof that Ben Affleck, Mr. "Yankees are an Evil Empire" is a complete freak dumbass.
Note to self: Stop reading biased commentary as it will only agitate you.

Ugh. I knew the negativity would start, but I just can't stand it any more. Just for a few minutes I'd like to be happy about the A-Rod deal and not have all these jackass sportswriters trying to lay a guilt trip on me about small market teams, team chemistry, Steinbrenner's nuts, etc. I'd like to go back to the days, oh, 10 or so years ago, before there was an internet. My sources of news/editorials were the Daily News and the NY Post, ESPN unbiased TV and WFAN. The internet allows everyone and their mother to have an opinion now (see this blog), and since the rest of the world seems to hate the Yankees, that's the majority of what I read. For example, a column on today discussing the winners and losers in the A-Rod deal suddenly becomes an excuse for bashing the Yankee team chemistry, the name A-Rod not even mentioned the last few paragraphs at the column. When did Mr. Sportswriter get his degree in psychology? Has he not heard of Joe Torre's ability to knock a man's ego down to size? Sigh. I'm not looking for a Yankee cheerleader, but I'm not looking to read about how much my team is bad for baseball every day. Especially when said evil team is the highest road-draw in the sport. Whatever.

I'm going back to the time when only the opinions of my fellow Yankee fans mattered. Screw everything else.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Yeah, I know what you’re all thinking, but just know I was perfectly content with Alfonso Soriano and was way excited that we’d have a third baseman with the same last name as a barnyard animal. That said:


Now, it hasn’t been made official, and I’m not even going to think (too) much about it until he’s actually partying it up with DJ at the China Club in like August. But the possibility is a fun one.

I just find it completely funny that this happened starting on Valentine’s Day, with no fanfare whatsoever leading up to it. I groggily got up yesterday morning, my only thought being what color pantyhose I had to get for the wedding I was attending later that day, when my dad tells me “Did you hear they’re trying for A-Rod?” I almost choked on my Cornflakes. And so progressed a day of fervent text-messaging (Carolyn’s boyfriend Rick) and phone calls (to Tonya) at the reception later on. Probably the most interesting Valentine’s Day I’ve had in awhile to say the least.

Anyway, ESPN is all going to be negative about this, you can be sure. As will all the other Yankee haters out there. But what were they doing when the Red Sox were making a bid for him? They were rooting for it, that’s what. Despite the fact that the Sox could definitely afford A-Rod and were willing to give him the boatload of money he’s making. Hmm. And in that rooting, they were forgetting about another pretty awesome shortstop who was going to get the short-end of the stick in all of it, after being the most classy player the Red Sox have: Nomar. He certainly deserved a lot better than being referred to as Nomar Who? during the month of December, that’s for sure. But that’s all OK because it was the Red Sox pulling that crap, not the Yankees. Ugh.

I like this deal because 1) The Yanks are giving up someone huge in Alfonso, so this is a TRADE fair and square. It’s not the Yanks signing A-Rod in free agency. Sure, they can absorb his salary, but that’s a crime? 2) The rumors are he’s going to play 3rd, which shows great loyalty and respect toward Jeter on the Yankees’ and Rodriguez’s part. Ahem, Boston and the Nomar situation.

So, yeah, people are going to be whining and bitching and moaning over the next few weeks, even years. And I’m actually going to miss Soriano. He is one hell of an exciting player to watch. Except for that whole swinging at pitches 12 feet out of the strikezone thing, but he’ll over come that.

But seeing A-Rod play every day? Awwww, yeah...

Friday, February 13, 2004

OK, this just plain creeps me out. I don't care how diehard of a fan of a sport you are, chanting the name "Osama" at the US soccer team is just freaking scary. What's wrong with the "Insert-team-name-here sucks" taunt? Geez.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Dude! We just watched an awesome car chase through Jersey City and Bayonne here at work. It was the most riveting thing most of us had seen in awhile. This is when it's so great to work at a place that has TVs all over the place.
I am very Quirkyalone! I love the idea of this title and I'm so glad there are others who feel the same way I do, ie, there's nothing wrong with being alone and waiting to be with someone who's right for you, rather than being with the wrong person for the wrong reasons. Amen!
Gaaaahhh! What the hell? Thanks, Daily News, for making us women look like a bunch of gold-diggers. I've HAD IT with the freaking Prince Charming scenario that a few stupid women harbor, and the rest of us have to suffer from it. Does a guy have to have a job to be able to support himself? Yes. Does he have to be loaded? No. But then again, I don't expect a guy to "Take Care of Me" like many women out there do, so maybe I'm in the minority.

And this whole guys can always find another pretty girl in the next bar thing? ARGH! Don't even get me started...

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

The Chicken is horrified over the slaughter of chickens in Delaware.
So, many of you were stumped by the song that used to quiet me down as a baby question on the quiz. Tonya and I were just discussing the absolute hilarity of the song MacArthur Park, and if you've never heard the maudlin Richard Harris version or the whacked-out disco Donna Summer version, you are truly missing out on one of music's treasures. Check out the lyrics here if you don't believe me. And while I don't agree with some of their items on the worst songs of all time list (how can you hate Ebony and Ivory? The Pina Colada Song?), it's worth a look.
This is what I like to see: A big dog with a normal name winning the Westminster dog show.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Test yourself on how well you know me!
It is positively spring like outside this morning. Well, maybe not THAT warm, but warmer than it has been. If only it would stick around for awhile...

I've had Jeffery Osbourne's greatest hits stuck in my head the past few days. It doesn't help that "On the Wings of Love" is pracitcally following me everywhere I go. It was on in the A&P last night, for crying out loud. What is Jeffrey trying to tell me? Being on the wings of love sounds quite scary. I mean, don't think The Chicken would appreciate anyone hanging on his wings.

Speaking of my feathered friend, he wants you all to know he doesn't have the bird flu, and he doesn't need to be executed or anything. He's busy making valentines for all his friends and not a sniffle in sight.

Monday, February 09, 2004

Ding-dong the annoying ass ad is dead!!!! Probably one of the best pieces of news I've ever gotten at work, ever.
Oh, and thanks to Sex and the City for telling us that being single is the most absolutely horrifying thing in the world. That all single women are either crazy or desperate. That the only way to be happy is to knowingly live in a fantasy world with a guy you might not even love and are more or less settling for so you don't have to be alone anymore. Ewww.

This show had better redeem itself in the last two episodes, that's all I've got to say.
Dude, how cool is it that the Yankees signed Mike Lamb as their third baseman? I mean, the Red Sox may have all the funkiest named players in the league, but we can now say we have a Moose and a Lamb on our team. 8 days till pitchers and catchers -- woo-hoo!!

Oh, and SNL gets major props for their skit on Oprah's favorite things/50th birthday. I only hope my co-workers got to see it because it's like the writers totally listened in on us rolling our eyes at the audience's over-hystericalness during those shows. Totally awesome.

Friday, February 06, 2004

So NBC was obviously knew I was watching Friends and The Apprentice last night so I can rip on them a bit today.

Friends: When Danny DeVito's stripper character complained "I came all the way from Hoboken" to be at Phoebe's bachelorette party, my roommates and I were like, "Uh, did you take the PATH?" because the WTC PATH to downtown only takes 8 minutes. That's not much of a trek. I'm not sure if the writers were trying to be ironic, especially since Danny DeVito is an NJ native and would know how far Hoboken is, but it just seemed like some Hollywood mind picking one of the weirdest-sounding named towns in the Garden State and throwing it in there. Hmmmm.

The Apprentice: The people who won last night got to meet George Steinbrenner at Yankee Stadium. I was crazy jealous until we found out they didn't actually get to watch a game. Because meeting George would be, uh, an experience, but now we know why The Donald gets a seat behind homeplate during all the playoff games -- he and George have some crazy mutual admiration society. Blech.

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Is it weird that one of my hands might be having an allergic reaction to my gloves and the other isn't? Hmmmm....

And is it weird that whenever I go to type the word "an" I end up typing "and"??

Ugh. Why is it that when we finally get a cute dude on our floor he has to go and be married? Double ugh.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

How this article managed to avoid my eyes over the summer is mind-boggling. Fenway better than Yankee Stadium? And I'm not even pissed about how biased the writer seems, and just how freaking WRONG he is for comparing a 35,000 seat structure to a 55,000 seat one, one in a nice section of town, one in a bad section; It just PROVES ESPN would have, like, 10 million of the Red Sox's babies if possible.

And just to note, I've heard MANY people complain about things at Fenway, from the seats to the ticket price, so don't give me this crap that it's a sports lover's Eden. When you're actually concerned about the Stadium's color scheme, I worry a bit about you point of view. And "Sweet Caroline" during the Seventh Inning Stretch is cool? Oh, go put on your loafers with no socks and take a nice little sip from your whine cooler while perusing your GQ.

In a nutshell, screw you, Mr. Sportswriter.
Hey, Pervs. You're not going to find Janet Jackson Super Bowl photos here, so kindly move along. Unless you want to hear my latest sports rant. Then, by all means, stay:

I am so glad the World Series doesn't have a half time show, because if this had happened and taken away from the Yankees winning something, I would've been SOOOOOOOOOO pissed. If keeping the focus on the game means you have Yanni performing the national anthem (even if he is sending out evil New Age vibes to bring the Yankees bad luck), then so be it.

But then the halftime show was so lame anyway (can we say 2001-2002? Because that's when most of those songs were popular, and unless you've got some hot NEW song or a few beloved greatest hits that people want to hear, why bother? For example, Outkast and John Mellencamp would've been a much better choice than Nelly and Kid Rock, but I'm 26 so what do I know?), they probably knew going in that the breast baring was going to happen, either hoping to make up for the shock value with lameness, or make up for the lameness with shock value. You decide.

Monday, February 02, 2004

I miss the days when adults ran advertising agencies, because during last night's Super Bowl commercials, it became very apparent that 13-year-old boys are running the show. Does Budweiser REALLY have to go the animal route for EVERY commercial when their target audience is the over 21 set? Am I supposed to believe that every man is saddled with erectile disfunction? And can we get over the Scottish kilt/accent thing being sooooooooo funny? I could kill Mike Myers for bringing it into mainstream comedy.

I know there are smart advertising agencies out there, but last night's display made it look like the teams from The Apprentice were in charge of things. There's been a decline in smart/funny/slick ads, and I'm not sure if it's because advertisers have gotten lazy or if product makers think we're all stupid and won't get dry humor. I've seen better commercials for beer/cars/erectile disfunction during the regular season of baseball, so maybe the less pressure on a company, the better the result...
As I bitterly noted last night, now that the Patriots have won two Super Bowl titles in three years, Boston fans, nay, all Yankee haters, are no longer allowed to whine "But the Yankeeeeeeees wiiiin every yeeeeeeaaar. Waaaaahhhhh. Dynastys ruin sports. Waaaaaahhhhhh."

That's all I've got to say about that.

Sunday, February 01, 2004

I'd like to thank the makers of the Cialis commercials for inspiring some of the most interesting debates at a Super Bowl party. Like, if it works for 36 hours -- what does that mean exactly??

Liana and Eric's Super Bowl bash was way cool. Liana even made us some awesome chili, and they had the most bestus junkfood supply. You should've seen the "Holy Shit" look on everyone's faces when Janet Jackson's breast got exposed via Justin Timberlake. So who was the special guest start -- Justin or Janet's bosom?

It sounds like Sasquatch and company are vying for loudest party in Hoboken right now. It's 11:30 on a school night and they just cranked up the music. Someone keeps groaning loudly like they're either constipated or The Incredible Hulk. This ought to be an interesting evening...