Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Note to Yankee Pitching Staff

Whatever it is you needed to get out of your system should be done and gone by now.

Must. Control. Urge. To. Throw. Remote.

KB, Psychic Friend

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that when ESPN announces its No.1 moment of the past 25 years next week, it's going to be the US ice hockey team defeating the Russians in the 1980 Olympics. If it isn't and let's say, oh, Kirk Gibson's homer is No. 1, I will personally go to Bristol and beat the living crap out of whoever picked this list. OK, maybe not, but I'll be peeved. Because if there is one regret in my life, even if it's something I have no control over, it's that I wasn't old enough to remember that game (I was only a Complete and Total toddler in February of 1980). What a sight it must've been. I mean, you see the replay now and it gives you goosebumps. I couldn't imagine what it was like to see it that day. Must've been nuts.

Digging For Good Books

So I guess I came to the Holes party a little late, but I'm totally going to recommend it to anyone looking for a good, quick read. So what if it's for ages 9-12? It's a solidly written, funny, touching story, and the last hour of the movie version I saw the other night followed it right on. This just proves to me that kids' books rock more than adult books right now.

If you're ever jaded with adult literature, never be afraid to roam into the young adult section. Most books stores have it set up so the YA area is a little bit away from the kids' section, and closer to the adult area because they want teens to not feel stupid being in the same section as Clifford the Big Red Dog and Arthur (who is thoroughly awesome, by the way). So this enables big kids like you and me to not feel weird being in the Kiddie Section too.

Actually, never feel weird about being in the Kiddie Section, either. Some of the best books you've probably ever read came out of your childhood, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to check up on them.

This message brought to you by KB, an unashamed adult reader of children's literature.

Why Rudy Ain't a Hit With Me

So Rudy might run in 2008, huh? Yeah, well he won't be getting my vote. What's that you say, but he's a Yankees fan? No he's not. And here's why: in his last week in office as mayor, he tried to get that whole Give the Yankees and Mets New Stadiums thing, which Bloomberg, in probably his least-annoying move as mayor, shot down as soon as he took office. Let us remember that the original Yankee Stadium was going to be TORN DOWN AND MADE INTO A PARKING LOT in this plan.That was Rudy being a total politician and working for George right there, and not thinking as a Yankee fan. I know this new Stadium is ineviteble, but I'll give them a little bit of credit in this new plan for not tearing down the original, which would be a fucking sin. Rudy didn't realize this? Whatever.

By the way, a few weeks ago Michael Kay AGAIN pissed me off when discussing the whole New Stadium thing on a YES broadcast. He kept going on and on about how "what fans don't realize is the original structure will still be standing" and then he went on to say how chunks of it will still be torn down, but the "structure" will still be there. Huh? As if this softens the blow to know only half of it will be gone? Anyway, it just came out like a sleazy salesman, and dude, he is working for George, so doesn't that make him the slightest bit biased? I didn't listen to the rest of his argument because he was making me edgy. I know the city doesn't have to pay for this with tax money, but it felt creepily like an attempt to brainwash for some reason. I guess I shoulda had the SAP button on...

And be sure to check out Yankee vs. Yankee Hater where we debate the merits of that baseball-playing human sausage, Barry Bonds, and his run for another MVP.

RNC=PiMA, Day 2

Not bad at all today, but that's because I took the bus in. Coming in through Port Authority and then to the subway, I noticed no extra security, no men with machine guns and the like. Maybe I was just walking too fast to notice.

And I love how the Hoboken bars benefitted from yesterday's shut down of the terminal.

Monday, August 30, 2004

RNC = PiMA, Day 1, Part Deux


Well you can bet I wasn't a happy camper when I got to the PATH station and saw the throngs of people wandering around aimlessly. All I heard was "No trains to Hoboken" and booked outta there, determined to beat everyone to Port Authority. So despite the heat and crapload of tourists roaming the streets, I speed-walked to the PA and got right on a bus to Hoboken. I find it very interesting that this was a big enough incident that even the ferries and buses stopped running to the Hoboken Station. Wonder what it could be...

F'ing Fickle Fans

Ah, the great subject of fan loyalty. I can honestly say I do judge people's character based on this and I'm not ashamed for that. For example, any person who tells me they root for both the Yankees and the Mets? Uh, yeah, you're not a fan of either team and that tells me you'll probably root for whichever team is winning at the time. Or you're just too weak to pick a team and stick with it.

Also, I'm pretty good at detecting those who are true-blue Yankee fans and those who only cheer when it's convenient for them. My favorite thing is subtly grilling them (I do it in the nicest way possible...sometimes) and seeing them get all pissy with the subject because they know they've been caught. Is that evil?

To Everything...There is an Awards Show

Last night we took in the VMAs, not because we were really interested, but because it was there. At one point, the Kerry daughters and Bush twins (via satelite) came on to urge everyone to come out and vote. As soon as the Kerrys came out on stage, they got soundly booed, and while this isn't exactly the most classy act, I almost can't blame the crowd. I don't think they were booing their political status, but the message they were about to bring forth. Because is there NOTHING we can watch these days that doesn't get a GO OUT AND VOTE! message attached to it? Especially at the VMAs. It's like being told to "drink your milk" at Chuck E. Cheese. And this is totally dangerous because you don't want young people being jaded about going out and voting.

And, seriously, do the Bush twins really strike you as the type to go out and vote and get involved if their dad wasn't president? Um, yeah, kinda hypocritical.

Voting IS important, but there's a time and a place for everything. Maybe MTV should have a day of programming devoted to it or something, but plopping down the message in the middle of what should have been a politics-free night (it's the VMAs, people -- it's supposed to be gaudy, somewhat stupid and fun and that's it) wasn't the right move. And the crowd, for better or worse, used their first amendment right and let the producers know it.

RNC = PiMA, Day 1

It was, oddly enough, one of the quietest commutes I've ever had. I think the PATH stepped up and supplied more trains to 33rd because they were nowhere near crowded, even with the extra people riding. That could all change tomorrow, though, if people were just taking a three-day weekend, so I'm not going to get all excited just yet.

Number of Military Men with Scary-Looking Machine Guns: 2, in the 33rd Street PATH Station. They weren't there Friday.

Number of Cops Seen: Too many to count.

Number of News Trucks Seen: 3, and that was just on 6th Ave. And it seems MSNBC has taken over all of the Herald Square park with some kind of set-up.

Worst Part of Commute: The humidity. Can I blame that on the Republicans?

It's still to early (in the day, and the week) to judge just how bad this can get, so I'll just be content that I got through one half of my commute today unscathed.

And I'm also pissed that the Yankees went 5-2 on the road trip, and that it can't be considered good because they lost ground to the Sox. Grrrrr....

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Easy Like a Sunday...Afternoon.

So despite the Yankees losing and what I'm anticipating to be the commute from hell tomorrow, I had quite a nice, relaxing day. First, I tagged along with Liana and Eric to Liberty State Park for a picnic, and it was way awesome. We barbecued, tossed around the Aerobie as if it were an Olympic sport (and Liana and Eric do a great imitation of a victorious Michael Phelps, while I came to realize I do not have Derek Jeter's reflexes), quoted This Land is Your Land and enjoyed the last Sunday of August. We also watched people fly kites, a few cruise ships that passed our way, the motorcade of politicians that came off Ellis Island, and all the military helicopters that kept flying overhead in preparation for whatever they were preparing for. Everyone in the park seemed to stop what they were doing when the copters came by. You don't mess with them.

After our ride back (which included mine and Liana's summer theme song Upside Down by Diana Ross, miraculously coming on the radio), Carolyn, Rick, Melissa and I headed out to dinner, so I didn't have to cook once today.

Now, if I can just get through the next four days with my sanity un-challenged...

Amen to That

The front page of today's Daily News sums it up quite nicely.

Though if extreme conservatives and extreme liberals meet on the street one day, will we suddenly hear the music from West Side Story overhead? If they break out snapping their fingers, then dance-fighting, that would totally make the entire convention worth it right there.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Of Gold Medals, Yankees and Children

With the Olympics winding down, I just thought I'd share my most favorite quote of the Games, from semi-insane gymnast and all-around silver medalist, Svetlana Khorkina. How much did she want that gold medal? :

"I want to win a gold medal as much as I want to mother my own child."

Whoa there, killer! That's some devotion to your sport and all, but damn. I was ironing a shirt at the time I heard this and it literally made me stop what I was doing. I looked over at Carolyn, who looked just as dumbfounded as me, and asked "Did I just hear that right?"

That said, I guess I can relate. I mean, I want the Yankees to win the World Series this year as much as I want to mother my own child...

That'll Kill a Good Buzz...

Last night the crew and I were hanging out at a local bar, taking in the Olympics and debating all sorts of athletic topics. A nice peaceful night in Hoboken, complete with good pizza, good pals and good discussion. But as the Olympics signed off on NBC for the night, and I was getting very intrigued by Eric and Vicki banterings about the state of the NBA, the TV above Eric and Liana's head caught my eye. The local news had come on, and with it, the closed-captioning that said there were new plots to blow up the NY subways, specifically Herald Square, where I pass through twice a day. Dexter, also a Herald Square passer-througher, seemed to notice it too because we were both like "Uhhh, say what?" and that just about sobered us all up. I think the bartenders saw it as too heavy because all the channels soon changed to ESPN, and we were left wondering what the entire plot to blow up the subway entailed. Definitely not the coolest way to end a Friday night.

Don't Dis the Boken

Gothamist ran a little thing about the W Hotel that’s coming to Hoboken in a few years. Check out the comments section. Yeah, there are still some people under the assumption that the only “new-apartments-with-amenities” section of Hoboken is directly on the waterfront. Spoken like a true, ignorant, new-to-NY transplant or lifelong, never-left-the-island-of-Manhattan snob if ever I heard one. Just because you’ve visited a few Hoboken apartments in no way means you’ve seen all the city has to offer.

While they’re right about the frat-boy banker types being here, that’s not everyone. My neighborhood is a good mix of young and old (see the building across the street from mine) from all types of economic backgrounds. And, um, hello! I live in a brand-new building that’s in the mid-town section, the waterfront a nice 10-minute walk from here, so I don’t know what that blowhard is talking about. In fact, A LOT of my neighborhood is brand-new or renovated buildings. And for a hell of a lot cheaper than my New York counterparts are paying, I’ve got 1200-square feet, central air, washer/dryer in the building and a parking spot. Sure, it’s a three-bedroom and therefore divided up cheaper, but Melissa’s sister is paying almost as much as we are for a 1-bedroom that was divided into a 2-bedroom in Manhattan.

And the person who thinks the subway is better than the PATH really isn’t on the right track there (no pun intended). Having commuted to Astoria via the N line (there was no W while I was living there) I can tell you my trip back to Hoboken every night is a breath of fresh air in comparison. I can actually keep my sanity on a somewhat-crowded PATH train instead of being smushed like sardines on the N every night. Yeah, you wait a little longer on weekends for the PATH, but after 2 a.m. I waited for the N over a half hour on MANY occasions, so whatever there.

I have nothing against people who want to live in New York and I know the ’Boken is not for everyone. I just hate the know-it-alls who think that just because it’s Jersey that it’s not worthy or something.

Plus, some of the coolest people I know live here, and what’s better than that?

Friday, August 27, 2004

Bernie, a Bull and a Book

Neat-o! When I was a kid, I had this little book about Ferdinand, the peaceful bull who only wanted to sit under a tree and smell flowers all day. So when Bernie Williams first came up with the Yankees, he totally reminded me of Ferdinand with his cow eyes and peaceful nature. And now I find that the entire book I had as a kid is online!

But seriously -- check out those links and tell me I'm wrong.


So, let me get this straight: A double Olympic gold medal can be issued in figure skating, where a judge was completely, totally scoring the Canadians below value ON PURPOSE, but in gymnastics, where the scoring decision was a result of stupidity, and no one realized it till days later, you ask the gold medal winner to give it up. OK, what the fuck ever, FIG. Especially since it's basically your fault the gold got awarded to Hamm in the first place.

Playing Sports Editor

So how much do you want to bet that up until the 9th inning last night, the headline "DOUBLE PLA-ROD" was going in the "IT'S ABOUT TIME" space?

And is that a file photo? Because it looks a hell of a lot more like Fenway than Skydome. Did The Post send all their sports photogs to Athens or something? The game ended around 10 p.m., so it's not like it was pushing deadline more than usual...

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Yankee "Classics"

Woo-hoo! I knew there was a reason I shouldn't stop watching! Though I have to admit, I watched most of it on mute, with classical music playing for audio. It was supposed to make me focus on writing, but, um, not this time. It was awesome. I used to do this a lot when I was younger with orchestral arrangements -- a baseball ballet if you will (though basketball is the best sport to set to classical music). I started with Mozart in the top of the 5th, and lo and behold the Yanks started coming alive. So I left the classical mix on, from Bach to Bizet to Copland and more, and it literally scored the next three innings. I was afraid to turn it off for fear of jinxing them.

I finally had to take the earphones out to let the Inflamed Ear Whatever breathe a bit, and that's when they tied it up. And then Nitkowski actually did well. And when A-Rod FINALLY came through, I cheered out loud, so happy to see him look relieved and loving every minute of him joking around with Jeter and Shef in the dugout.

And now I must go edit at least a little bit. With the highlights on in the background, of course.

Wow. Safe to say...

...Jon Lieber isn't the ace of the staff, now is he? It is so freaking hard watching him struggle, and yet I can't bring myself to change the channel for more than a minute. And it's starting to effect my writing. For instance, in my story just now, I meant to write the sentence ' "Hi,' Caitlin replied glumly," and ended up writing "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK." That can't be good, right?

In Which The Chicken is Glad He Doesn't Have Ears

Yeah, so I should learn not to diagnose myself. I don't have any kind of, gross-like thanks-to-genetics buildup in the left ear. I do have an inflamation, however, that could be caused by anything from air conditioning to head phones. And, no, I'm not giving up the iPod because of it. Now I have to coordinate myself to use ear drops (see photo of crazy looking eardropper object) -- yeah, THAT's going to be fun. I feel like there should've been more to the story, like I'd have to chop off my ear like Van Gogh or something, but alas, not this time.

Though by coming home in the afternoon, I did get to hear Sasquatch stomping around and...singing.

This has to be the randomest day ever.

The Ears Have It

Thanks to a nice genetic, not-serious medical condition (from the Bischer side, along with scarred chins and inherited klutziness), I now am having trouble hearing out of my left ear and have to run to the doctor this afternoon to get it nice and flushed out. I don't know if you've ever had it done, but it feels kinda cool, even though what you see after is really, really, really gross. But at least I'll be able to hear the Yankee game better when I'm not in the room with the TV....

And So It Begins...

On the news right now, they're talking about these very diehard protestors who hung an anti-Bush sign from the roof of The Plaza Hotel. While this made me laugh (they literally trained for months to scale the building. That's devotion.), the guy who was behind it royally pissed me off. The newswoman went around talking to people stuck in the traffic caused by this, and they were naturally unhappy. Not really angry, but just "Can I just get to where I want to go?" Nothing like "Go home hippies" or anything like that. So the newswoman goes back to the organizer guy and this was his response to the people that were inconvenienced:

"I think those people would have the members of the Boston Tea Party arrested for pollution."

Oh, shut up Mr. Holier Than Thou protestor guy. Just because people don't go screaming their opinion from rooftops (literally) doesn't mean they care any less. And just because they're pissed of about traffic (which happens every day in NYC) doesn't mean they don't appreciate the democratic process. And don't even get me started on trying to compare getting the current dumbass president out of office to fighting for a country's independence...

This is why I love freedom of speech, but hate stupid protestors.

That's Nuts

The headline in the Daily News today:
Yanks' squirrely night
Critter watches Flash fail

It's the one thing that made me laugh this morning. Sigh.

As soon as they brought Gordon in last night I was like "Uh-oh" because they'd already used him a lot this week and, well, El Duque was the starting pitcher and look what happened last week when that happened and Flash came in. And as soon as he gave up the first walk, I knew what was coming.

This team reminds me a lot of the 2000 team for some reason. If you remember, they struggled a lot during the year (and I guess the AL East sucked mightily that year because the Yankees came out with 87 wins), and even during the playoffs. The only series that came easily was the one against the Mets. My god, David Cone was 4-14 that season, El Duque 12-13. The lineup was so-so. Mo was 7-4.

Why do I bring this up? To me that team wasn't playing up to potential either, and they still got by. Yeah, the Red Sox weren't breathing down their necks, but for all intents and purposes, there are big similarities here. And to me, if the Yanks do come out of this funk in a whole-hearted sort of way, they will end up even better than the 2000 team.

Keep the faith, people.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

When We Are Dancing...

... and you're dangerously near me
I get ideas, I get ideas
And after we have kissed goodnight oh still you linger
I kinda think you get ideas too.

Yeah, Yankee fans/YES Network subscribers know what I'm talking about here...try watching a game and NOT getting it stuck in your head.

And how adorable is the squirrel that's lost in the Jacob's Field outfield right now? I love YES' super slo-mo of it running. I just worry for it when Shef comes to bat...

And Another Thing....

From literacytrust.org:

"Men who read stand a better chance of attracting women according to a study. Women claim they are more likely to be seduced by a well-read man.

85% of women questioned in a NOP survey for the publisher Penguin said they would be more attracted to a man who talked about literature. But women would be inclined to judge men by the type of books they read. On this rating, reading Harry Potter scored very badly."

Well, duh! Who wouldn't want a guy who reads? But being more seducable because the guy is well-read? Uh, it's gonna take a hell of a lot more than quoting Walt Whitman, honey, so you'd better be well-ROUNDED.

Actually, just tell me the Yankees are the best team ever and that'll get you farther than quoting some classic.

As for judging men on what they read, again, spare me. He could read comic books or quantum physics texts, as long as he's enjoying himself, who the hell cares? The act of reading is a wonderful one, and to each his own if it makes you happy.

Harry Potter and the Really Cool Guy

I don't know who Penguin surveyed when asking women about being attracted to men with books, but I totally disagree. If I saw a guy reading Harry Potter, it would raise his stock value immensely. Why? Because it shows he's not afraid to be in touch with his boyish roots. And the big thing for my fomer English major self -- that he isn't pretentious. And he's not afraid to carry around a big heavy book. Oh, and we could totally dish the plot together, which I already do with friends both male and female.

So I'm just going to conclude that they asked a bunch of literary snobs this question. Especially if these are women turned on by guys reading...Emily Bronte? Oh, please. Go find a new cliche at the coffee house while you're at it...

Karen's Guide to Convention Etiquette

I'm sure a lot is going to be made about Freedom of Speech over the next few days, so I'm going to exercise my right a bit early:

So help me god, if any politician, protestor or terrorist gets in the way of my commute next week and makes me late getting home (because getting to work late...eh, what the hell), you will be sorry. I have a remote control, and I'm not afraid to throw it.

Things you can do to ensure that I don't "snap":

-- Keep your yammering to a dull roar. When negotiating the streets, I need to be able to hear Eric Carmen's Hungry Eyes loud and clear on my iPod.

-- Don't take the PATH, or the subway for that matter, and make it all crowded and aggravating for the rest of us. It's obvious that if you are here just for the convention, you either 1) Don't have a real job (and yes, I count politicians as not being 9-5ers in this) or 2) Are on vacation and therefore not stressed out and can get off your lazy policitican/protestor asses and walk a few blocks.

-- Don't stalk/beg/barrage/jump up and down for me to vote for whichever candidate you're supporting. You already know I'm voting for Joe Torre and your candidate is nowhere cool enough to change my mind.

-- Don't litter the streets with whatever Beat Bush/Stop Kerry/Support the Green Party leaflets you want to hand out. Jews for Jesus have the market cornered on this and it would be unfair to infringe on their territory.

-- Don't go to the Yankee games that week.You probably don't live here anyway, so get away from my team before you jinx them with your Rebuplicanness/Protestorness.

-- Do not use the Yankees as a metaphor for any political message you are giving to try and win New Yorkers over. The Remote Control of Fury will find you on its own, if that's the case.

That should be it. If you can abide by these rules, I'll gladly share the city with you. If not...well, that's your problem.

KB's Throwdown

So this picture (that I had to keep viewing on sportsline.com everytime I went to check the other MLB scores last night) coupled with the Yankees blowing their lead last night actually made me get a wee bit angry. Yes, me, the quiet, unassuming one. What did I do, you ask? Oh, just hurl the remote control across my bedroom. I blame it on that smarmy look on Manny's face. It's like he was goading me into it. Bastard. You can bet if he'd been in the room with that evil grin that my remote would've knocked out a few teeth and that would've been, like, way cathartic.

But it made me realize I need to find an agent, fast. I had such good velocity on that throw of the remote, that I think I can make it as a middle reliever...

Run, El Capitan, Run!

How can you not love Derek Jeter? Watching him totally manufacture the Yankees' winning run last night (with the help of Hideki Matsui and a hit the Indians defense finally couldn't rob them of) was something else. It was one of those things where you're like "Damn, I can tell my kids I saw him play every day" and then Mo comes in and you think the same thing. I'm appreciating every little minute we have with them. Hope they stick around for a while.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Whatever, ESPN

So ESPN's No. 1 play over the past 25 years has me scratching my head. Kirk Gibson's home run??? Yeah, it was huge and poingant all, but...I don't know. Actually, I do know. How the hell can you rank that ahead of Joe Carter's walk-off WORLD SERIES WINNING homer? That play gets no freaking respect. Probably because it's the Jays and not some big high profile team.

Did I just get pissed about something baseball wise that didn't involve the Yankees? Whoa.

The Customer is (Rarely, if Ever) Right

You can totally tell when someone hasn't worked in retail or customer service related job by the way they treat cashiers/waiters/salespeople. Having served my time behind the counter of three retail stores as a teen and in college, I now treat everyone with the utmost respect, even if I have a problem with something. Why? Because customers suck.

You could have the most normal day possible, not one person rude to you, and then WHAM! You get that one who walks around with this strange sense of entitlement, that the world revolves around them and you, the cashier are to blame for their problems. Being nice to them doesn't matter, they'll still bitch at you for whatever reason they feel like, because you're behind a counter and therefore lowly.

This thought was brought on because I was just in the deli across the street, minding my business, when the woman in front of me on line got all bitchy with the cashier. And surprise, surprise, she was the one in the wrong. Apparently, she didn't factor sales tax into her price and VERY snottily wondered what was going on. The cashier briskly (but not snottily) explained it was the tax, because there was a long line of people and she probably has to deal with idiots like this on a daily basis. Then the customer gets all offended because she feels she's being treated rudely!!! I almost dumped my soup on her head because she started the exchange with her dumbass attitude. When she was out of the store, I shook my head at the cashier and told her that she wasn't the one being rude. But that will probably stick out in the cashier's head all day, which just sucks. As do customers.

1 Out of 2 Catchers Agree

So the reviews are in -- having sent two chapters of the current story I'm working on to the Hoboken Crew, Eric had this to say:

"Where's the third chapter damn it! I'm really getting into this!"

I find this awesome because Eric is totally not my target audience, being a 27-year-old finance guy/former collegiate-level baseball catcher. Though he, Liana and I have had deep discussions on Felicity (we all think she should've ended up with Noel), so maybe I shouldn't be surprised.

Hey! Maybe Jorge Posada would like my story, being he's a catcher and all!

The rest of the crew has been great about feedback, too, despite being out of the age range:

The New York Times Book Review (a.k.a. Liana), on the first chapter: "Brings me back to my younger years! I think everyone can relate in some sense..."

Publisher's Weekly (that'd be Dexter), also on the first chapter: "I really like the characters and the setting and can't wait for chapter 2. It's a great start."

So far, they all seem to like it, though I know they're just a little biased knowing the author, and knowing said author won't cook for them anymore if she doesn't like what they have to say....

In Defense of A-Rod

So, Mike Lupica is taking A-Rod to task for not hitting with runners in scoring position. And while I agree whole-heartedly that the man's being paid to do stuff like that and kinda hasn't lately (and it's mega frustrating), I doubt he's doing it on purpose. I think he wants so badly to prove himself that he can play on a big stage that he's hurting himself in the process. I've seen him get pissed off with himself when he fails -- which tells me he's not sitting there counting his money at night and laughing "Those Yankee fans are suckers! I'm playing badly and I don't care!"

At the game the other night, a guy a few rows behind us said that A-Rod makes $51 dollars a minute, his voice kinda dripping with disgust. While this DOES sound quite insane, I can't begrudge anyone for it. Because if I were in that position, you can sure as hell bet I'd be trying to make as much money as possible. And you know you would too. This is why player salaries don't bother me. No one is forcing me to go out to the ballpark and "pay" their salary. And since upperdeck prices are still relatively cheap, I have no issue with it. If I complain about it, I feel like I sound jealous, and I'm not. I chose to major in English and the salary that brings after graduation, now I'll live with that.

I like A-Rod. I like his potential. I like that he wants so badly to impress us, even if it's making him press too hard. Sooner or later he'll come out of this, and mark my words, people, it'll be a sight to see.

Damn (Awesome) Yankees

A great article in today's Daily News, likening the current Yankee season to a Broadway show. Sums it up pretty well, I think.

Monday, August 23, 2004


...that's all I've got to say about that. Thanks AGAIN Shef. You too, Ted Lilly, wherever you are.

And what the hell happened to Bob Wickman? I remember the first game he ever started, when he was slightly pudgy and a starter. Now he's a "veteran closer" and about 100 pounds heavier -- and that's just his facial hair. Hard to believe he used to be one of the aces of the Yankee staff roughly 12 years ago.

Man, I feel old.

I'm, Like, a Genius

Test yourself on your knowledge of Yankee Stadium. I got a 10 out of 10. Beat that!

If you've sent me an e-mail in the past 24 hours and I haven't written back, it's not because I'm too busy kicking things and crying over the Yankees. Something's messed up with my Yahoo account. I promise I'm not ignoring you. Unless you're a Red Sox fan (who isn't Liana) of course....

The Hills Are Alive

OK, remember in The Sound of Music when the bratty Von Trapp kids show what wusses they are when they're terrified of a thunderstorm and Maria makes them sing about their Favorite Things? Well, here are a few of mine, as the Yankee slump makes me sad and I want to feel better:

Home runs sans poses and whiskers forbidden
Cute rookie players that make me quite smitten
Moose pitching well and Sheffield's big swings
These are a few of my favorite things

Clean crisp white unis that dirty when sliding
Scoreboards and hot dogs and late-inning lightning
The glittering diamonds of World Series rings
These are a few of my favorite things

Dive-stops by Jeter and Bernie's eyelashes
Sandman's big cutter and balls A-Rod smashes
The dream of October that starts in the spring
These are a few of my favorite things

When a slump bites
When the Sox win
When George is feeling mad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go make some play clothes out of curtains.

As Seen on TV

OK, along with people showing up on your doorstep unannounced, I also wonder how many times in real life does anyone ever chase a person to the airport, train station, bus station, etc. to declare their undying love for them in some big dramatic romantic scene. I mean, this works for books and movies and TV shows, but in real life you'd probably chase a person down only for them to be all "Oh, but I don't feel the same way," or you'd be the chasee and the person chasing you is a stalker or something. Or you'd just wait till the person gets back from their trip.

I'm always trying to work realistic dramatic scenes into my stories because I do have that side of me that wants to believe things can work out if presented in a cool enough way. I'm a writer. Sue me. The only time I've ever done something like that is when we were having a party awhile ago and I was tallking to this guy I liked and we were having a great time. After he left I felt kinda sad because I'd been working up the nerve to ask him out and didn't. I don't know if it was the beer, the fact that the party was turning too loud for my liking or the fact that I really dug this guy, but a few minutes later I grabbed my keys (even in my personal romantic drama, I still had common sense to know I had to get back inside some how.) and ran around the neighborhood, hoping to track him down, because I was a woman on a mission. Of course, he was no where to be seen and I felt like an idiot as I walked back home. My dramatic moment failed, but god knows what I would've said if I'd found him anyway -- I'm a writer and all, but I turn into a stammering mess when matters of the heart are involved. But somehow I did get up the guts to ask him out later and he said yes and we had a few dates, so there you go -- no drama or chase scene necessary.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Yankee Spankings

You can run, Yankees, but you can't hide. Yep, it's time for a big-ass spanking, and none of you (OK, Shef is exempt) is safe. Have a nice long flight to Cleveland and think about what you've done (or haven't).

To all the hitters swinging at first pitches-- SMACK!
To all the hitters not working the count -- SLAP!
To all the hitters striking out on terrible pitches -- WHACK!
To the starting pitchers who look lost on the mound -- WHAP!
To the bullpen that pitches with no confidence -- SNAP!

Ow. My hand hurts.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Frustrating? I'll Give You Frustrating...

I just realized the Yankees have 76 wins. That's the total of all the wins they got in 1992. This is why I can't get all pissy and moany during slumps like the one they're in right now. Sure, it's frustrating when a good team can't pull out a win, but it's nowhere near as frustrating as a so-so team that has three teams ahead of them in the division and no chance at the post seaon. If you told me in 92 that the Yankees could have a record like this with a 7 1/2 game lead I would've been giddy at the prospect. And that's how I keep perspective on all this.

My, How They Grow

The Yankee Herbs back in May...
...and three months later.

Friday, August 20, 2004

My Other New Best Friend

I'm watching Michael Phelps talking to Bob Costas right now, and I am so freaking impresed with him and his racoon-eyed sunburned self. He's been nothing but gracious to the media, completely composed, and always smiling. And then he gives up his chance to swim for an 8th medal so his teammate can have a chance at gold. Where did this guy come from?

Since he's too young for me to think of as cute, he can be my new best friend, usurping Gary Sheffield for the rest of the week.

Silent Night, Liza-less Night

Yes, you read that right. The Yankees lost and we didn't have to endure the hell that is Liza Minelli's New York, New York. Thanks to a power-outage (and not the one the Yankee bats seemed to suffer), three of the four scoreboards went out, and with it, all the audio in the Stadium. It was kinda creepy. In the bottom of the 7th, there was no God Bless America, no Take Me Out to the Ballgame and no Cotton Eye Joe. People stood and looked around, but that was about it. That's how I knew the crowd sucked -- if it had been a crowd of the awesome variety, people would've sang regardless. Instead, they stood silently, and partook in The Wave when some idiots decided to start it. (The Bleacher Creatures put the kibosh on that though, god bless them for it.)

Oh, but leave it to the Yankee Stadium audio/video crew. In the bottom of the 8th inning, the only working scoreboard lit up with "IT'S TIME FOR SILENT COTTON EYE JOE!" and from the control room, there he was in all his dancing, musicless glory. The night was worth it just for that alone.

And then when the Yankees lost all sucky like, there was no Liza shrieking from the speakers to rub it in. The loss was my first on a Friday since my birthday, and I got spared the worst part of it all. Thank you, ConEd!

Get Your Answers Here

1) I met Matt at his favorite local watering hole to watch a Yankee game. I met Paul at a Yankee game, when it was, you guessed it, cold (but not rainy) outside. As for the rest of your asses, I’d love to meet you all sometime too.

2) Yeah, I hate the other three, but I’ve “battled” Lupicass on many occasions. As you may have noticed.

3) On May 18 2004, Dexter was the first person to leave a real, live comment

4) Yup, it was ugly and yellow, but Blogger didn’t have many choices back in 2001.

5) I actually had an interview with the Yanks in 2003. I’d sent my resume in in response to an ad, and it turns out the guy looking for help went to Delaware and worked for the Review a few years before me. I had to take myself out of the running for the job when I realized the pay was nowhere near enough to keep me afloat, but the guy checked my blog out a few times after that.

6) We don’t know the exact day he was born, but since he came to us around the playoffs, Sept. 30 seemed as good a day as any.

7) Yeah, I hate it when people go blog AWOL, buy it’s worse when people try to talk you out of how you feel. Offering your opinion in counterpoint is fine; saying I’m wrong because I don’t agree with you isn’t.

8) Yeah, that’s the girls. Jennie and Frank now go on Saturdays, unlike last year when they joined us on Fridays.

9) Someone typed that in the night of Game 6 of the 2003 ALCS. I was bummed because the Yanks had lost, but that cheered me up greatly.

10) I either severely jammed my toe or flat out fractured it, while getting up in celebration of the Yanks taking the lead. It didn't really start hurting till after the game went the other way. And then it hurt for months after that, and every now and then will still hurt me to this day. Maybe if they win another World Series, it'll stop hurting altogether...

Teach your children...

My co-worker's 5-year-old son is here today, and he is being "silly." Just now, for example, Tonya had a soap on her TV and it was showing a male strip club scene (in the cleanest way possible, this is daytime television, people) and he goes up to her and Tonya's all "Um, I'm not sure your mom wants you to be seeing this," to which he giggles "A curtain! Hey! They're dancing!!" Then he started dancing in Tonya's cubicle because she has the Dance-Feveresque flooring under her chair. His mom then told us he has a fascination with curtains, so he probably didn't even realize what the guys were doing. It's amazing what entertains you at 5.

Then Tonya made him do the Pledge of Allegiance...to the Yankee flag. I mean, you have to start them young...


Tonya just read me this bizzare article from today's Metro that says the Yankees missed out on signing Vlad. Um, hello, that argument is so 6 months ago! Can we get over the "what might have been" and get on with the fact that Gary Sheffield is the team MVP this season? That's what we would've missed out on, Mr. Sportswriter Dude.

A Visit from Sasquatch, but Not the Real One

Karen: I hear someone stomping around...

Chicken: Could it be Sasquatch? Oh, now they're knocking on the door!

I go to open door, and am face to face with Sasquatch, but not the right one.

Faux Sasquatch: Hello! Me wanted to say happy blogiversary to you blog! Why you look so disappointed?

Karen: Hi Mr. Sasquatch. I thought you were going to kidnap the real Sasquatch and make him live with you in your cabin in the woods, that's all.

Faux Sasquatch: Oh, no. Me couldn't live with him. He stay up too late.

Karen: I hear that. So why are you back in Hoboken?

Faux Sasquatch: Me really like it here. There no bars or Yankees in the woods. And me got a girlfriend now.

Chicken: Good for you!

Faux Sasquatch: She want to make me over. What is metrosexual?

Karen: The real Sasquatch is kinda metrosexual, if that helps.

Faux Sasquatch: Oh. Me not so sure me want to be like him.

Karen: Me, I mean, I can't blame you there.

B-Gock! Happy Blogiversary!

Hello everyone! It is me, The Chicken. I just wanted to wish the blog a happy blogiversary and to add that this place has been very good to me when I take over Karen's blogging duties for the day. Bringing the Yankees good luck on a daily basis is tough, but I know loyal Yankee fans out there appreciate my effort. Even though Karen has yet to take me to a game.

Karen: Chicken, you know why I don't take you. Security is tight these days at the Stadium and they're likely to think you're a bomb and tear you open or something. We can't risk that.

Chicken: Whatever.

Karen: Fine, Chicken. What can I do to make it up to you?

Chicken: Can I show everyone my vacation pictures?

Karen: Go for it.

Chicken: Great! This is what I, the Yankee Chicken, did on my last vacation.

Do You Know What Today Is?

It's my blogiversary! Three years of writing and ranting and bitching and good stuff like that! And what would my blog be without all the crazy people in my life? And what would having a blog be like without my readers? So let me start off with a question for my loyal Complete and Total Bisch Likers (Answer in the comments sections):

Who is your favorite recurring character on KB's blog?
A. The Yankee Chicken
B. Sasquatch!
C. The Landlord
D. The Jeter Parsley
E. The A-Rod Basil
F. Karen's thoughts on the Yankees, because she's like, totally right, man.
G. Other (please specify)

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Gary Sheffield, you are my new best friend. We can go shopping together, talk on the phone till all hours and have inside jokes together. Because you are the freaking man.

I don't know what the bullpen's problem is, but I LOVED the fire and intensity in the batting order tonight. And Shef coming through yet again -- what is left to say about him? He's just amazing, and that's that.




I don't know if it's because the Yankee bullpen is sputtering at the moment, but I am majorly annoyed. Not so much with the Yankees (who, don't get me wrong, deserve a big ass spanking if they keep this up) but with the Twins fans. Michael Kay has said the past two nights that the Twins have been averaging about 22,000 a game. Are you kidding me with that? This team is doing as well as it is and they STILL can't draw? Yeah, it's in a dome, but come on. You almost had the team taken away from you, Bud Selig whining the whole time that small-market teams can't compete so he can contract, etc. HELLO! Go support them or you're going to be crying that they're getting taken away in a few years.

In short, it's a damn shame when the only thing that gets you out to the ballpark isn't rooting for your own team, but to boo the visiting one.

Buckets O' Gold

The US takes the all-around in women's gymnastics too. Gold for Carly Patterson, sure to be on a Wheaties box near you.

And I'm intriuged by this swimming controversy surrounding Aaron Piersol. Looks like NBC's gonna suck me in for another late night....


Oh, joy. Bud Selig's going to be commissioner for another three years. Let's break out the Cristal.

Programming Note

Tomorrow is the 3-year blogiversary of The Complete and Total Bisch. Expect much hoopla, maybe even a special guest or two...
So even though I'm still ticked at ESPN.com for hating the Yankees, they sure can write up a good article on Paul Hamm. This part cracked me up:

"Americans in the crowd started packing up their flags. Journalists started dreaming up leads detailng how the American men gymnastics program was getting closer to catching up with the rest of the world but was still more Bon Jovi than Bruce Springsteen."

Love the Jersey shout-out, and man, it is kinda true.

As for the event itself, damn, were the NBC broadcasters all gloom-and-doom or what? I guess you can't expect someone to pull themself up from 12th place to win a gold medal, but knowing that he did I was practically laughing when they're all "Oh wow, there goes the gold. Oh wow."

And watching the US women's swim relay team stomp all over the East German world record was something else. Totally a great night for good sports stories.

Oh, and speaking of gloom-and-doom, check out all the nasty Yankee headlines today. People, that was Moose's first start back off the DL and he wasn't supposed to go very deep anyway. I don't think the Yanks were expecting much from him, they're missing A-Rod, Posada's sick -- this isn't your team at 100 percent. So enough with the "Yankees Glimpse October, and it's Not Pretty" crap, NY Times.

No! Elmer!

Let us take a moment to remember one of the coolest dudes in Hollywood, Elmer Bernstein. Don't know who he is? I bet you do and you just don't know it. The man wrote scores to a boatload of movies. And several of them get used over and over again in pop culture. You know you are one hell of a versatile person when you can score The Ten Commandments, The Magnificent Seven and The Great Escape early in your career, then move onto Animal House, Airplane and Ghostbusters later in life. And that's just a few of them. My personal favorite is To Kill a Mockingbird, which you totally know is on my iPod writing mix, and right now I've got the sneaky music from the big parade scene in Animal House stuck in my head. Sigh.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Single admission double header at the Stadium on Labor Day, or so says Michael Kay. Oh, decisions, decisions...

And what the hell is up with the Twins fans cheering when Jeter got knocked down with a pitch? They don't even do that in Boston. I swear, they have absolutely nothing on Yankees fans judging by their behavior in recent years.
Double wow. The New York papers and all the other people who bashed the Yankees for not resigning Pettitte look REALLY, um, WRONG now -- he's done for the year.
Wow. Paul Hamm just became the first American man to win the gold in the Olympic all-around competition. I am seriously impressed.

I'm also impressed by USA Today's coverage of the Games. They have the most up-to-the-minute updates. The Hamm thing was listed there 20 minutes ago and no other sports site has it up yet. Take that, ESPN.com.

Claws: The Revenge

I think I remember what woke me up at 3 a.m. I had this crazy ass dream that I was keeping a lobster as a pet. Yeah, I don't know. The lobster started turning vicious, hiding under beds and attacking people and animals when they least expected it. The final straw was when the lobster broke into my parents' refrigerator and stole all the crabs my dad had caught to make crab sauce. Someone finally killed the lobster when it was hiding under my bedroom rug. I don't even want to attempt to analyze this one, but it does sound like it would make a fabulous horror movie or children's book. I haven't decided which.

Sleepy. And not in a Bret Boone sort of way.

Holy crap am I tired. Two nights this week I've had the random wake-up-at-3 a.m.-can't-fall-back-asleep-till-4 syndrome. I'm now taking caffeine intravenously in an attempt to stay awake the rest of the day. Sigh.

Last night was the movie screening at Bryant Park, where the grass was still swampy after a day of "resting." Tonya, our co-worker/Yankee worshipper Stephanie and I plunked ourselves down at a table instead, next to boys trying on makeup. Only in New York, people. Anyway, I happened to spot Matt across the lawn, who then joined us for the bittersweet movie of the Yankees' roller-coaster ride that was the 2001 World Series amid the post-Sept. 11 atmosphere. If anyone has HBO, I seriously recommend watching this movie when it comes on in September. I don't think I ever realized how much the Yankees' run affected their fans who lost loved ones that day -- it's a nice side to the story. It was also great watching it with the three huge Yankee fans I was sitting with, along with real New Yorkers, because even though the home runs of Tino, Derek and Brosius happened three years ago, they got a nice round of applause when they were showed again. That's how you know it's a great moment -- it still makes you happy. And you can bet your ass I hung my head during the last plays of Game 7 (which I hadn't seen since they originally aired) because I still can't bear to watch.

Following the movie, Tonya and I headed to a bar to catch the Yankees' current losing effort at a bar. We were grunting our displeasure at Javy's outting and other assorted Yankee things, when the guy next to us is all "You guys are seriously scaring me. How do you know so much?" Oh, we showed him all right. He was so impressed (or "freaked out", as he put it) that he bought us each a beer. And he wasn't doing it to hit on us, which was even awesomer. Who says this Yankee knowledge of mine is useless?

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

The more things change...

Um, why did the Yankees re-sign Shane Spencer? Even if it's only to a minor league contract? I'm wondering if they're trying to recapture the glory days now that El Duque is back and kicking ass. Could Chuck Knoblauch be far behind?

And happy birthday wishes go out to Jorge Posada, the man, the myth, the catcher, and the patron saint of our apartment.
Didn't I tell you the media would be all down on Michael Phelps if he didn't win all 8 golds? Look at all the headlines today. USA Today, for example, has "Agony and Ecstasy" or something like that, comparing the US men's gymanastics team's silver medal to Phelps' bronze. Um, if you saw Phelps after the race you'd know he wasn't exactly in agony. He wasn't the one going around saying he was going to win a crap load of gold. He just entered himself in all 8 races and kept saying one gold medal would be nice. So when the NBC reporter pulled him aside after a qualifying race last night and brow beat him with "Mark Spitz" and "No shot at 7 golds" he was all "I'm just having fun out there." What a concept! A 19-year-old athlete having fun at the Olympic level! If I'd been him at that moment, I would've thrown the reporter in the pool, but he seems to have more class than that and thank god for it.

Monday, August 16, 2004

When you're telling your buds about the book for teen girls you're writing where they make small cameos, you don't expect two of your guy friends to be the ones all excited at the prospect. Keep in mind that with the exception of Jesse, who will be reflected in a neighbor/doctor character, my buds are all going to be teachers in the books. These were the questions Eric and Jesse peppered me with last night:

"Can I date Liana's character's supermodel sister?"
"Do Eric and Liana's characters drive an Outback?"
"Can I play the piano? A doctor has to work his fingers, you know."
"Can I play the saxaphone? Jesse and I are going to have a band."
"Can I paint with my left foot?"
"Is there room for my helicopter?"
"Did I find the cure for cancer?"
"We met at a jock party, right?"

Somewhere along the line Jesse's character evolved from family neighbor into Cary Grant, while Eric is the renaissance man/ baseball coach with some kind of painful sports memory. I told Liana I'd gladly make her a former Ms. America to catch up with the accomplishments of the guys. I think she was just really content that she and Eric WOULD be driving an Outback.

All this after the debate of where their characters went to college (where they met, a point that does have some bearing on the teen plot). Eric was lobbying for Dartmouth, Jesse for Princeton and Liana went with the sentimental favorite in Binghamton. They finally all settled on Tufts, so there you go.

I think they realized the fun of getting to live a "second life." Now I only hope I can do it justice!
For those I didn't tell, there's an advance screening of HBO's Nine Innings From Ground Zero showing in Bryant Park tomorrow night. You can bet Tonya and I will be heading an expedition since it's right around the block from our office, so if anyone cares to join, we'll be there.

While the tagline for the movie is all about how America started rooting for the Yankees, I think it was more New York that was affected, for obvious reasons. That first week when baseball came back after 9/11, I was still kinda numb to enjoy it. But I knew I was going to be OK a few weeks later when I was driving in the car and cheering against the Mets just because they're the Mets, and I knew I was totally myself again when the Yanks were down 2 games to 0 in the ALDS, and even though I was at Delaware for homecoming, I stayed glued to the TV in my hotel room the night of game 3. It really did give you something positive to focus on in that extremely scary time, and for that I'll always be grateful.

Sing-along time!

It's so gloomy outside on this Monday (ugh) that I think we need to have a sing-along. Today's choice is the great, but completely improbable song "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" which up until last year I thought was sung by a woman and not the late Jermaine Stewart. Color me surprised! Anyway this song is awesome just because there is no way in hell a man says no to sex when "pressured" by a woman. And the lyrics...oh my are they cheesy....

We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off

Jermaine Stewart:  

Not a word, from your lips
You just took for granted that I want to skinny dip.
A quick hit, that's your game.
But I'm not a piece of meat, still you like my brain.
Night is young, so are we.
Let's get to know each other better, slow & easily.
Take my hand, let's hit the floor.
Shake our bodies to the music.
Maybe then you'll score.
Chorus: So come on baby, won't you show some class
Why you want to move so fast.
We don't have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
We could dance & party all night
And drink some cherry wine
Uh huh
We don't have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
We could dance & party all night (all night)
And drink some cherry wine
Uh huh
Na na na na na na na............
Just slow down if you want me
A man wants to be approached cool & romantically
I've got needs
Just like you
If the conversation's good
Vibrations through & through
So come on baby, won't you show some class
Why you want to move so fast
We don't have to take outr clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
We could dance & party all night (all night)
And drink some cherry wine
Uh huh
Na na na na na na.........
Repeat until fade.............

Come and knock on my door

So I was watching Once and Again this weekend and in a few episodes we get the occurence of someone showing up at a person's house just when that person wants to see said visitor. This is a big thing on TV shows and in movies, but when does this happen in real life?

When my buzzer rings out of the blue it's usually my landlord standing outside whining about something that isn't the fault of my apartment. It's never somebody cool. Not that I can blame people for this because it's considered rude to just drop by unannounced and I know I never just show up anywhere without calling first. But I like that element of surprise in the two seconds after you ask "Who Is It?" on the intercom, just before my landlord answers with "Hal-lo, who-a stole da garbage can?" Maybe someday it'll be George Steinbrenner offering me the Yankee Poet Laureate position, but I'd just settle for someone I like.

Oh, and last night I got to meet Matt of UberPlexer fame. We were at a bar watching the Olympics, and he gets line of the night honors when the gymnastics team comes on and he wonders aloud "Is that pleather?" when viewing their uniforms. It kinda looked a little like the vinyl seating at a diner counter to me...

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Dream what?

So I'm watching the US "Dream Team" getting beat by Puerto Rico right now by 9 points. Could the negative attitude that came with this team preceding the games be a factor in this? I liked the first Dream Team because they seemed like they understood the honor of playing in an Olympics. This team? I'm not getting that vibe. Let's bring back the amatuers -- at least they'd want to be there.

I fought the phyllo...

... and I let the phyllo think it won. Heh heh. What it doesn't know is that I was a renegade baklava maker today and didn't care if it didn't look pretty. It all goes to the same place, right?

That stuff is a bitch to work with. Now I know why I only made it once before. From now on, I'm sticking to good-luck Yankee flans and cookies and pies.

Books and plots of gold

It should tell you something about my outlook on adult fiction right now when I'm practically giddy about the little hints J.K. Rowling let out about the Harry Potter series. But it's made me afraid that I'll be waiting like another two years (or however long it's going to take for book 6 to come out) to actually read something I'll like. It's a sad day for a big reader like me when I walk into a Barnes and Noble and can't find anything. Because nowadays? It seems like they'll publish any old crap. I'm no literary snob, either. I'll read anything. It just seems the older I get, the less books there are that I actually have patience for. I didn't love The Da Vinci Code. I HATED The Devil Wears Prada. I thought The Lovely Bones was good, but then the ending ripped off the movie Ghost. I've been re-reading books I liked years ago to compensate, which is fine because I forget plots and stuff, but still. I want to read something new, that isn't all depressing and deep or shallow and stupid, and actually like it. I don't think that's too much to ask for. Anyone have any suggestions?

Olympic snippet: I like that when Phelps and Vendt were on the medals podium and the national anthem started to play, they actually took their little olive-branch wreaths off their heads and held them over their hearts, like a baseball cap. This cracked me up. Because is a wreath really in the same category as a hat?

Oh, and remind me to never be an Olympic synchronized diver or a men's gymanast -- you can't win with the announcers AT ALL. Dude, I heard more negative commentary than a Fox-broadcast Yankees game (sidebar: although, it seemed like Steve Lyons and Thom Brenneman wanted to marry Derek Jeter yesterday the way they were salivating over him). I know they're looking at it like a judge, but come on! When someone gets a decent score (a la some of the guys on US gymnastics team who got screwed when they had to change their highbar routine at the last minute) you can say it seems a little high, but don't sound all incredulous about it. Geez. Get out there yourself if you think you can do any better.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Combining the Yankees and The Olympics

Yay! I just saw the Visa check card commercial with Joe Torre and George Steinbrenner and it cracked me up! I can't believe they get George to go along with that stuff when it basically pokes fun at him. I wish I had a link to the ad -- Yankee fans will totally appreciate it...
So it looks like NBC has learned nothing from the Sydney Olympics. They totally could have shown Phelps' first race, being it was going off at 12:30 our time, but instead we get to see the prelims, and they're showing the finals tonight. A good 8 hours after it happened. Let us not forget about the Internet, which was said to have been the reason for 2000's sucky ratings. I know we have to deal with a time difference, but hello, NBC! It's a Saturday! People are home. You may get more advertising bucks in prime-time, but are people going to tune in if they already know what's going to happen? In short, NBC, you suck.

UPDATE: Phelps wins the gold and in World Record Time. And we get to see it all on tape delay. Sigh.

I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised by all this. I mean, even though Salt Lake City was pretty much live, the US vs. Russia hockey game of 1980, probably the No. 1 moment in US Olympic history, was also on tape delay...

Friday, August 13, 2004


So I'm nursing a headache and watching the Opening Ceremonies. My roomates wanted me to go see Little Black Book, but I feared it might give me an even bigger headache. Anyway, things I've noted thus far:

-- The American ceremonies uniform: ugly. Too retro and we'll all be like "Um, Let's not have THAT in fashion again" when we see clips like 10 years from now.

-- I like that Bob Costas gave Astoria a shout out, being that it has the second highest Greek population outside Athens.

-- I have a mad craving for baklava right now.

-- Nice of the Greeks to give the US a nice reception, knowing it's not the athletes who run the country.

-- I love that Pedro Martinez gets a shout-out from Katie Couric when discussing all the great athletes from the Dominican. I could just imagine him throwing at the heads of baseball players from around the world.

-- NBC is just loving this opportunity to pimp all of its shows. I'm sure I'll be as sick of them as I am the Fox playoff pimping commercials by the end of the two weeks.

-- Will Channel 4 go all out and have one of their annoying-ass "We're 4 New York" music videos again? Let's hope not. I still canNOT forget the 1992 games' god-awful song with "For the pride, for the joy; Hey world are you watching? For the thrill of being Number One, we're 4 New York!" Dear god, make it stop!!!

-- Hmm. Where can I get baklava in Hoboken??

Who's afraid of the dark?

Well, hopefully you're not or the blackout must've sucked for you last year.

In memory of the occasion, here is my rundown of the day's events, which feel like they happened yesterday and not a year ago.

Eat it up, Sassy!

You know how they say revenge is a dish best served cold? Well, I don't necessarily agree with that. I think it's a dish best seved LOUD.

Last night, those in Sasquatch's lair thought it appropriate to be loud, obnoxious and did I say LOUD till roughly 4:15. It was bad because they all came tromping in at 3 a.m. waking me out of a deep sleep. But then they proceded to slam dance and blast their TV and whatever it is obnoxious guys do when they're rude. If I had to work today, I would've been EXTREMELY mad because they pulled this shit last Thursday too and I was in a fog all day as a result. But since I had off, and I figured they do to, I set in motion a plan.

Following the structure of my last paybacks (which included Born to Run, Let's Go Crazy and Black Magic Woman), I got up at 8, selected a CD and popped in The Beatles' Revolution at almost full volume. And then I let 'er rip. That was under Sasquatch's room, so now I have to go get his other roommate who I don't think EVER works.

Ah, payback's a bitch, ain't it?

Thursday, August 12, 2004

So YES is working again, and with it, I get to see the sucky-ass Cingular commercial with the girl who won't stop saying "GET OUT!" because she's so shocked her plan is so cheap or something. Being that it airs a few times during every Yankee game, I literally leave the room or change the channel just for THAT commercial. It's ranking right up there with those Truth cigarette ads in annoyingness. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, but those Truth people are so smug and smarmy and creepy and self-righteous, I almost want to take up smoking just to piss them off. Ugh.

Check out CommercialsIHate.com for the typical big, stupid offenders in TV ads.
I just went to re-register to vote, and I go through the process of changing my address (I haven't been in the booth since the 2000 election when I lived in Astoria) and when I think I'm finished it's all "Now you have to print out this application, go out and get an envelope and stamp and send it out!" Thanks, Rock the Vote, for making it SO easy (ahem, sarcasm). Going online was supposed to eliminate a trip to the post office... Anyway, it asked me for my political party and I was VERY tempted to put in "Yankees" but in the end I put nothing. No, yer not gonna label me, people. Argh.

Technical difficulties with the YES Network right now have forced me to opt for the radio, which is all staticy because it's storming somewhere. And damn, it better pour down rain because my formerly broken wrist is killing me, and it's not a Yankee related ache like my toe (but I did watch the Braves/Pirates NLCS game when I was waiting in the doctor's office that day), so it's not cool. I don't want it hurting for nothing.

Oh. My. God. I have seen some crazy things in my life. But never as surreal as Jim McGreevey coming out of the closet and resigning. I mean, good for him to be true to himself, but damn, I didn't see this coming! I logged onto CNN and it was all "Embattled NJ Governor to resign" and I'm all "Um, Embattled?" because I hadn't heard any political stuff going on, and then I turn the TV on just in time to hear him come out and then say he was leaving. Wow.
Six years ago today, the Yankees were 87-29. That is just freaking sick. I thought I'd share.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Quien es Mas Macho?

Michael Phelps....
....or El Capitan?
FYI -- For those of you who don't know, I'm an Olympic junkie. So expect lots of world athletic-related rants along with the Yankee ones. Awww, yeah....

To start -- does anyone else already feel sorry for swimmer Michael Phelps? Sure, he has all sorts of sponsorship, but you know if he comes back, with say, only four gold medals, he's going to be seen as a failure by some...OK, lots. That's a lot to have on your head at 19. Oh well, he's probably already richer than I'll ever hope to be, so I can't feel too bad for him I guess.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

You know, I used to like Michael Kay. But he has one glaring trait that I just can't take anymore -- he gets annoyed when the Yanks don't do something right and you can totally hear it in his voice. Now, that's fine for me and Tonya and my dad and all the other Yankee fans out there. We can be as biased as we want. But not your announcer. I don't listen for you to sound whiny and pissy. This is why he and John Sterling together would sometimes make me turn the radio off -- they were a tag-team of exhasperated and annoyed when the Yanks would blow a scoring opportunity or pitch lousy or make an error. And it just comes across the airwaves as whining and a bit know-it-allish and somewhat unprofessional. No other Yankee announcer in all the years I've been watching/listening has made me feel that way.

Call the Yanks on something when they do it wrong, wonder about missed opportunities, debate it, etc. I'm not saying you have to be all happy-happy when it comes to covering a team. But I don't need you to sound annoyed when I'm already aggravated enough for half the city of New York. Does that make sense?
The awesomest thing about cloudy days on vacation: Awesome television. Do you know what's on right now on TV Land? MacGyver. And the fabulous episode description: "After a car accident, MacGyver helps his Amish rescuers save thier farm from government seizure."

This promises to be nothing short of awesome.
Yo, George, simmer. The Yanks took three of four from Toronto and two of three from the A's on this home stand. You might want to blame yourself for picking up Loaiza, not Torre for trying Lofton in centerfield to give the battle-scarred Shef a bit of a rest. That error only cost them one run right there. I seem to remember that Loaiza gave up the other 4. Hmmm....

The Daily News seems to have gone on the bridge-jumping train with all their negative Yankee stories today. Sounds to me like someone's getting a little bored with all the winning.
I had a dream last night that the Yankees won the World Series in 6 games on a Saturday night. They won on an 0-2 pitch when the opposing batter struck out looking. It felt so freaking real, down to the fact that I was so nervous during the last out, I stood on a chair at the party I was at (whatever gets them to win, right?) Except for the fact that I had no idea who the opposing team was because they wore these uniforms with colorful paint splotches on them. Hmmmm....

So I've actually written more in my story in one vacation day than I did for the entire week I took off in March specifically to write. Must be those unintentional guilt tripping friends or something. Go figure.

For those who don't know, I've been writing stories (along with crazy Yankee Journal entries) since I was like 6. I get ideas all the time, but none like the one that struck me a little over a year ago, a simple four-book series about a teen girl and her friends. It's targeted at young adults, and it's been an absolute blast writing. Writing for grownups is so...serious. I am nowhere near finished, but it will get done, someway somehow. Lots of unintentional guilt tripping might be necessary.

Monday, August 09, 2004

If I'd been "watching" this game on Yahoo, I would've just been spared two ugly errors on the same play by Kenny Lofton (strangely in right field today) and Enrique Wilson. Sigh. Ah well, it's only the second inning. Definitely time to come back.
Yesterday, I was trying to explain to my mom what a Metrosexual is:
Me (thinking of an example): Derek Jeter - he's definitely a metrosexual.
Mom (still kind of confused): OK.
Me: Oh, Alex Rodriguez is a metrosexual too.
Mom: The serial killer?
Me: No, that's Pedro Martinez. You think he's a serial killer.
Mom:Well he is.
Me: Alex is the new Yankee. He dresses really well.
Mom (still stuck on Pedro): You mark my words, that guy's going to go on a killing spree someday. He's nuts.

And my mom's not even a diehard Yankees fan, people.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Proof that I've always been certifiable, even as a teen

Before there was a thing called the Internet where I could blog all my Yankee thoughts, there was pen and paper. When Randy Velarde, my favorite Yankee went on the disabled list in 1993, I started a Yankee Journal, and thus began 6 years of writing up every game. Once I got a real job I couldn't keep up anymore, but going back and reading through the years that I did keep a journal gives me some excellent comedic material. If you think I'm a crazy fan now, I was much worse as a teen. For example:
June 24th 1993:
I am majorly pissed off with that asshole Joel Sherman of the New York Post. He wrote this big article blasting Don Mattingly today. He made him out to be the biggest shmuck in baseball. He wrote a good article about Randy, but that doesn't matter. The man should be shot for writing that article on one of the greatest Yankees of all time.

Anyway, Scott Kamienicki is pitching tonight. Let's see what happens.


June 28th, 1993:
Anthony Young of the Mets lost his 24th straight yesterday. That's a new record. I hate the Mets. I'm glad they're in lastplace. They're a bunch of jerks on that team anyway. And yet they still get all the media coverage over the 3rd place Yankees. Go figure.

Subsitute the Red Sox for the Mets and I guess not much has changed in my life.

This morning on WFAN, part of the morning talk was about how New York fans can "drive players out" of the city because we can be mean and are very "What have you done for me lately." Apparently, a few Mets subscribe to this theory. Awwwww...I feel so sorry for millionaire players who can't take it when the paying customer voices their opinion.

Listen, I don't believe in booing your own player, and I think I'm in a minority here. However, if a player starts acting arrogant and stupid and not playing well and doesn't hustle, then I can't blame my fellow fans for getting a little mad. This isn't Little League where everyone's a winner, sorry.

(Sidebar: Bernie just hit a grand slam!!! Happy dance!!! Now back to our regularly scheduled program.)

Anyway, they were talking this morning about the fans of St. Louis, and how they gave Larry Walker a standing ovation when he came to bat, and another one when he...struck out. Um, is this commendable? I mean, I can see the first standing O because you're happy to have him, but what's with the feel-good lovey dovey stuff when he doesn't produce? Is this Whoville and I'm just a Grinch? Yeah, yeah, Midwesterners are nicer, I know (shout out to Tonya!). But to me a guy has to prove himself before I stand up and cheer for him. If that makes me a "What have you done for me lately" fan, than so be it.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Oh man, can I tell you, there was something in the air last night. I think it was an over-supply of testosterone because we had these two guys sitting across the aisle from us almost start decking each other, The Blue Jays’ starting pitcher get tossed for plunking Flaherty and the two Becks beer guys in our section getting pissy with each other.

Unfortunately, I was like the only one to actually see the dudes across from us jawing at each other. I turned around and tried to look discretely at Jennie and Frank behind me, but they didn’t quite understand what I was doing when I was motioning my head toward the action. They figured it out when the one guy got up to seek out a cop, and his girlfriend followed, promptly falling down the stairs after him. I kid you not. She wasn’t hurt, but she almost knocked over an entire case of a Beer Guy’s Miller, which I think shook people up more than her fall.

Anyway, the cop makes his way up toward our section, trying to figure out who the perp was. Jennie’s all “You have to tell him what you saw!” But I’m all “I just saw them pointing and yelling! I don’t want to have to go into Yankee witness protection!” because the one really quietly scary guy is a season-ticket holder too. I didn’t want to be a rat and sell anybody out, but when the cop started looking at us all funny, my pals pointed out the guy across the aisle. They chatted a bit and the cop left, and some girls switched seats with the offended couple so everyone could enjoy the game. But the dude across from us kept staring down at the guy who went to get the cop. Tonya deemed him a bit scary with his evil eye, but that was the end of it. Until the guy decides to kill us at the next game for pointing him out to the cop, that is.

Lost in all this was the fact that it was Elmo Plush Toy night at the Stadium, complete with Elmo leading a round of YMCA at the beginning of the game on the JumboTron, Fisher Price getting pimped like crazy, and Cotton Eye Joe Guy dancing with an Elmo doll during the 7th Inning Stretch. (FYI: Matt – the Butter-Churn was in full effect, and I think I figured out what The Batman is. He could only do this, though, when he tossed Elmo aside, which we were all kinda grateful for.)

And Matsui! The electricity that surged through the place when he came up after his two-homers was insane. And he came through big again with an RBI single. The place went apeshit, which is awesome considering it wasn’t like a playoff game or something. Everyone was just feeling the Hideki Love and reveling in it. Very cool indeed.

Friday, August 06, 2004

I don't think I can read Hoboken.com anymore as I'm completely tired of my peers in the area thinking they are the smartest one in the bunch to have figured out what snags you an ideal mate. Puhlease.

There is no one authority on love, as it's physically impossible for someone to have walked around in everyone's shoes. Love is complex, si? So if you think you have everything figured out by the time you're 30, well, what's left to learn?

My idea of dating may be completely different than someone else's, so there is no right or wrong here. To each his own, people. That's what it comes down to, simple as that.

I'm smarter than CNN/SI! They have a story today on the most embarrassing TV/Radio interview moments, and one of them is the infamous Peter Rose and Jim Gray Asshole vs. Dork contest. CNN/SI has it as happening during the 2000 All-Star game, but it really happened before Game 2 of the 1999 World Series in Atlanta. How do I remember this? Because Chad Curtis refused to talk to Gray after his walk-off home run in Game 3 because of it. Don't mess with me and my Yankee-fied memory!

I have to expound on my love for the I-Tunes station, Living in the Past Radio. Where else could I have a Friday morning filled with Copacabana, Bad Case of Loving You, Super Freak and the coup de grace, She Believes in Me by Kenny Rogers? If you are way proud of your seriously cornball (but awesome) taste in music like me, get the to a Mac.
Has the Post or the News ran a back page of Kevin Brown with the headline "Brownie Points"? I feel like they must have. That's just too easy.
I'm so glad that when I walked out the door this morning, it was suddenly October. Where the hell did this weather come from? I almost felt like I'd forgotten to bake Playoff Cookies or something and then I reminded myself it was still early August. Phew!

And I'm celebrating today because I have off all next week. Nanny-nanny poo-poo. I don't need a big fancy vacation or anything. Just being out of the office is enough. And there's two afternoon Yankee games next week, which I'll actually get to "watch" on television, or even listen to them on the radio while soaking up the sun. That hasn't happened since...man, I don't even remember.

Although I love that when I tell my friends I'm taking a week off, they're all "So you can write?" Well, now that they're expecting me to, I guess I should write a little bit. Guilt trippers. Expect the blog to be busy, then, with my procrastination efforts.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

You know the Yanks must've won when Tonya and I (both dead tired) start rockin' out to Melissa Manchester's "You Should Hear How She Talks About You", fresh on the 80s I-tunes radio station. Good day, good day.
So we're preparing for a Yahoo game today, which is what happens at the office when the Yanks play in the afternoon. ESPN, Sportsline, CNNSI, all have way-too-high tech live-play-by-play for our newish Macs to take, but Yahoo is pretty tame enough that it won't crash our computers. The big problem, though, is when the game gets "stuck." A guy could be at bat for like 15 minutes and Tonya and I are like "Um, what's going on?" and then we find out it's like two innings later or something.

This is when it would be awesome to use the radio, but we can't get A.M. reception in our building. So along with freezing us out with the out-of-control air conditioning, our employer denies us the simple right of listening to our favorite team because they are heartless like that. What's that? I'm supposed to be working and not worrying about a baseball game? Pshaw, whatever.

Well, that was probably the strangest-yet-coolest game I've watched in a long time. Strange because 1) Loaiza wasn't completely on, yet he didn't piss me off nearly as much as Contreras 2)Gary Sheffield rang the opening bell at the Stock Exchange yesterday, which just left me perplexed yet it was like foreshadowing in some strange way and 3) John Olerud looked totally at home in pinstripes having only been there for one day. Oh, and I had this eerie sense of calm the entire game, even when they were losing. It was about 8:30 and it dawned on me that they had been winning in Toronto a week ago at that time only to blow it later with a Blue Jays walk-off homer...Dionne Warwick needs me as a psychic friend, people.

So when Shef hit his home run, a complete no-doubter the way he tagged it, I was all giddy and that just about took all the attention away from the editing I was trying to do on my story. Mo scared the pants off me slightly when he got in his bases loaded jam, but in the bottom of the 11th, the calm was back. And when A-Rod's ball kept carrying and the announcers were like "that can't be going out" and yet it did, all I could do was laugh.

What a delight this team is.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

So I saw this story referenced on the Yankee message board and had to check it out. Finally the reason Sierra plays The Way You Move during every at bat! But no Enter Sandman for Mo??
I swear to god, if anyone comes knocking on my door asking me who I'm voting for I'm going to be all "JOE TORRE!" and slam the door in their face. I know Kerry and Bush have these door-to-door sneak attacks planned, and to me that's just as bad as telemarketing. It smacks of condescention for one thing: "Oh, we have a great candidate you should vote for! You probably don't have a mind of your own and aren't following the issues, blah, blah, blah." I have no problem with campaigning, but do NOT bother me on my private time, thank you very much. Or maybe people should put signs in their window so these campaigners know the score: Bush/Kerry/Not Sure/Leave Me Alone.
I'm guessing I'm taking last night's loss harder than I thought. Because I got to thinking of:
Songs That Make Me Sad for Some Strange Reason:

My Old Kentucky Home: Oh, come on. You know if makes you all teary eyed too when it comes on during the Derby -- and you don't quite know why.

One For My Baby, Frank Sinatra: Probably because I've been in that heartbroken state a few times myself, but even when I'm feeling peppy this song makes me sad.

Bobby Jean, Bruce Springsteen: I think it's because I heard it's really about Steve Van Zandt leaving the E-Street Band, and Bruce was sad about it. And really, who likes it when friends say goodbye? And who likes it when Bruce Springsteen is sad?

Same Old Lang Syne, Dan Fogleberg: This somehow has crossed over into a Christmas song, even though the only thing holidayish about it is that it takes place on Christmas Eve. And it's depressing -- about getting older and not getting what you really wanted out of life and marrying someone you don't love. Merry Christmas!

Moon River, Henry Mancini: It's just very overly-sentimental I guess. I like Breakfast at Tiffany's, so maybe I'm just regretting that Sasquatch and I don't have the same relationship as the movie's neighbors, Holly and Paul. Because if Sasquatch were sitting in his window singing this song with a little guitar, I'd probably die laughing, not fall in love with him.

Oh, man, I almost forgot about how heartbroken I was last night to hear Bob Murphy had died. Bob Sheppard came on before the National Anthem and was all solemn and I thought it might be another Munson tribute or something, but then he said that Murphy had passed yesterday and I actually blurted out "Bob Murphy died?!" I'm no Mets fan (as you know) but whenever I'd listen to WFAN or happen to pass a Mets broadcast, he was the most jovial sounding announcer I'd ever heard -- even when the Mets were losing. He just seemed like a cool guy, too, in interviews and even in his commercials for WFAN. I think most Yankee fans felt the same way because last night -- you could've heard a pin drop during the moment of silence for him. I was at the game on my 17th birthday, the day after Richard Nixon died, and the moment of silence wasn't even that quiet. The man will be missed.
The backpage of the NY Post made last night's loss almost worth it with its picture of Jon Lieber and the headline "Lieber Hosin'" I had to try so hard not to bust out laughing on the train this morning when I saw that.

But you know what? I wasn't confident going into that game. Why? Because I hadn't been to a loss in three and a half months. I was due to see a bad game and that one just kinda sucked hardcore. It started oh-so-well and ended...with Liza. Ugh. But I've got another one coming up on Friday, so they can atone.

The good thing that came out of the game was that Tonya and I made progress in converting our co-worker Erica into a Yankees fan. She grew up in Georgia watching the Braves, but as we headed for the subway after the game last night she goes "I think it's possible that I can become brainwashed." And this after a loss, and a bad one at that! And after sitting in front of a very scary man who wore a shirt that only came up to his midriff. But both she and Tonya's friend Nicole were in awe of how "beautiful" Yankee Stadium is. That, my friends, makes anyone OK in my book.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

The awesomest story of the day has yet another awesome poll attached to it on the Daily News Web site:

Do you think the chomping chimp should be locked up in a zoo?
Yes, she's a menace 18%
No, it was probably the kid's fault 31%
No, either way, the kid's OK and the disabled man needs his helper monkey 51%

I love, love, love that New Yorkers fault the kid before the monkey. Because it's probably true. You know how dogs and cats generally avoid little kids? Yeah. I think the monkey found out about that the hard way.

The best lines from the story, though:

"A monkey bites my grandson in Key Food. Who can think of such a thing happening?" Romano said yesterday.

KB's response: If it were the Shop Rite, then I might see this as weird. But as one who used to frequent the Key Food when living in Astoria, this doesn't seem so strange to me.

"Seidler said Darla was quiet, in her harness and on a leash, when the Romano cart passed."

KB's Response: BWAH!...oh, sorry, I'm just laughing too hard at this whole story to comment. This set up vaguely reminds me of the whole slow-mo climactic scene in The Untouchables, minus the baby carriage on the stairs.

"Romano said the monkey loosened its bite only after Seidler punched it in the head."

KB's response: So does the ASPCA come after the owner now? Man this story's going to get complicated.

Oh, everyone, wait! Wait! Stop the presses! Tom Cruise says he's ready for love again! You know, I was a little worried there. He hasn't had a girlfriend in, like, five months, the poor fella. Good to know a good-looking, rich guy who's only dated beautiful actresses still has the stamina to throw himself out into the choppy waters of the dating world. My hero!
What is it about diamonds? I was discussing this with Eric and Dexter (yes, straight men can discuss jewelry, it's quite OK) last night, and it left me kind of befuddled. They've become such a status symbol and it's kinda sad.

Vicki got very anti-diamond after a 20/20 report about how DeBeers has a monopoly on the diamond industry and drives up the prices to insane levels. That's why she asked Dexter for a sapphire engagement ring, which is just as pretty as any diamond I've ever seen. Where Eric is from in Quebec, diamonds aren't all the rage either, which is refreshingly different. Hollis has said she never understood the whole diamond-as-the-only-engagement-stone because there are so many other pretty gems out there. That's why I just look at women crooked when they say they need a big-ass rock to even consider getting engaged to a guy. Don't get me wrong. I'm a girl. I love the way diamonds look, but I'm not expecting any dude to go into debt because he wants to marry me. That's just sick.

I'm kinda stuck because the diamond is my birthstone. But then again I've read the book Shoeless Joe (which the movie Field of Dreams is based on), and the narrator also has an April birthday and he took the whole diamond as a birthstone thing to mean a BASEBALL diamond. How awesome is that? I mean, I can't wear a baseball diamond, but still.
Classic line of last night's dinner: We're all bemoaning the fact that NY is always the big target for terrorists and wondering why they only seem to set their sights on the Big Apple, when Dexter responds "Because it's in the center of it all. Like the Milford Plaza." I think I almost choked on my beer. If you didn't grow up in the NYC metropolitan area, there was this hokey come-to-NY tourist ad that was set to the tune of the Lullaby of Broadway, all centering around the Milford Plaza hotel. If that's what sold terrorists on attacking New York, well, that would be different.

That reminded me of other awesome NYC-local ads, like the "New York Loves San Giorgio, Great Spaghetti for a Great Spaghetti Town!" or the Westchester County Fair or the APEX Techinical school. Ah, those were total summer vacation commercials right there.

Tonight is Phil Rizzuto Statuette Night at the Stadium so Tonya and I cashed in our free ticket vouchers and heading up with a co-worker from Atlanta (who we're trying to convert to Yankee fandom) and a friend of Tonya's. I found it very random that the statues went from Ruth to Gehrig to Rizzuto, but apparently this is only the first year's set. I'm guessing all those who have plaques in Monument Park will be getting one in the coming years. I'll have to make sure the Billy Martin one gets a nice little can of beer...

Monday, August 02, 2004

Lionel Richie is on Oprah right now, showing off his, um, fireplace collection. Can you imagine being rich enough with a big enough house to collect fireplaces?

He's still da man, regardless. I'm not ashamed to admit I like his cornball music. Especially "Hello" which is probably the awesomest video of the 80s. Watch VH1 Classic one day and maybe you'll be blessed enough to have it pop up under your watch.
So all this Cotton Eye Joe talk, and the fact that I'm actually making a Yankee Stadium playlist for my iPod, has made me think of my favorite Stadium songs:

Saw Her Standing There, The Beatles: It used to be that when the "I'll never dance with another OOOOOOH!" part came on everyone in the stadium would OOOOOOH! right along with it. Not so much anymore. I wonder why.

Baba O'Reilly, The Who: Not played anymore so much because Paul O'Neill is absent. But it was almost chilling when the opening strains of this came on when he would come to bat.

Black Betty, Ram Jam: The big "Yanks are rallying, try and stop 'em" tune. This came on the other night and I told Tonya I'd just added it to the playlist and she was like "Damn, how did you figure out the title to this thing?"

Disco Inferno, The Trammps: Because it means Bernie! just did something way cool.

Just Got Paid (the N'SYNC version) and Friday I'm in Love (by The Cure): The two songs they usually play on Friday nights. Woo-hoo!

Enter Sandman, Metallica: Mo's coming!!!

New York, New York, Frank Sinatra: Did you know we have Robert De Niro to thank for this -- kind of? Because when filming the movie New York, New York, he hated the original song they wanted for it. And because he's De Niro, the producers scrambled for another song and came up with this one. What would we walk out of Yankee games to if not for Mr. De Niro? Let us all give him thanks.

It's also awesome to play my new favorite game at the Stadium -- Guess the Song They'll Play for the Corporate Sponsor for Giveaway Night/Day. When we got our Interlocking NY Ice Trays, I thought we'd get Ice, Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice. Instead, we got Cold As Ice by Foreigner. When Con-Ed sponsored Light-Up Key Ring night, I think I guessed You Light Up My Life, but they went with I've Got the Power and Electric Avenue. Last week, Verizon was the sponsor for our cap night, and I was guessing either Mr. Telephone Man by New Edition, Call Me by Blondie or I Just Called To Say I Love You by Stevie Wonder. They played Kind and Generous by Natalie Merchant. Um, yeah, shafted on that one...