Sunday, October 31, 2004

Friends, Fresh Air and...Sweaters!!!

So today Liana, Eric and I made a second-annual pilgrimage to Mohonk. And guess what car Liana got as a rental for her job this week? Yes, an Outback, the car that she and Eric gaze adoringly at whenever we pass them on the highway. The drive felt like a religious experience because of it. Oh, and Liana is starting a new thing where she waves to other Outback drivers with a smile and a "What's Up?" a la Jeep drivers. Every other Outback driver seemed kind of oblivious to this when she tried it today, but she succeeded in cracking me up from the backseat.

Anyway, it was a gorgeous day just like last year, only this time we hiked via trails and not via "rock scrambling." Because I have to drive 620 miles later this week and I need to be able to lift my arms for that. Alas, we didn't get to stay at the way-expensiveMountain House (though our goal is to someday pool all of the Hoboken Crew's money together and buy the whole damn place. Should take about 124 years, but we'll get there someday). But we communed with nature, got some awesome views and got some fresh air in our lungs and we'll sleep well because of it.

And then we got sucked into Woodbury Common for some outlet shopping and hit the J Crew store and, and...there were sweaters! Lots of them! And Liana knows just what sweaters do to me because she suffers from the same affliction. So we bought some. And my J Crew card is weeping in my wallet as a result. Retail therapy so helps with getting through the offseason, so I guess I had to get started as soon as possible...

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Look What Rainy Days Make Me Do!

So this could be titled “You know you have no life and are obsessed with the Yankees when…” but I’ve decided to title it “Have You Really Lived?…The Yankee Fan Edition.” There are several things I’ve never done on this list, but I used my imagination figuring there’s lots of stuff other people have accomplished as a fan. If you put this on your blog, add more ideas of your own. Enjoy:


Remember what it was REALLY like to have a bad pitching staff.
All too much. Steve Farr, John Habian, Scott Sanderson…shudder….

Have done something completely bizarre, like wear a bag on your head in the hopes of spurring on a rally.
I just outted myself here as a freak, haven’t I?

Witnessed a Yankee game in person.
The coolest way to watch a game, of course.

Witnessed a Yankee game in person in the following locations:
Tier -- check
Loge -- check
Main -- check
Bleachers -- check
Steinbrenner’s box

Been to Monument Park
On several occasions.

Been to the Yogi Berra Museum

Traveled to where the Yanks are playing to see them.

Kept score at a game.
I have but it can sometimes be distracting. Keeping a journal is much easier.

Stayed home just to watch a YES Network presentation (non-Yankee game)
The first time Tales of Triumph: The 2003 ALCS was on

Spent an entire day watching back-to-back Yankeeographies.

Sung along to New York, New York after a game.
The Sinatra version, yes. The Liza version, I’m too busy biting my fist from frustration at having to hear it.

Heard New York, New York at like a wedding or some other DJ’d affair and the first thing that comes to mind is “Ooh, Yankees!”
And I’ve actually been places where other Yankee fans blurt this out before me. I hang out with some good people, I tell you.

Sent your favorite player a fan letter…

…And actually gotten a response.

Met a Yankee.

Hung out with a Yankee.

Been dead tired, but on cloud nine because the Yankees did something good the night before.
Ah, yes. Many a time.

Watched Old Timer’s Day and have been majorly freaked out to find a player you grew up watching is now considered an “Old Timer.”
Kevin Maas this year. That was rough.

Been outside of New York and cheered the Yankees in public.
Yes, in Delaware

Been in Boston and cheered the Yankees in public.
I’ve only been to Boston once, but it was in winter. I will probably kill myself before I ever have to go back.

Bought a friend or family member’s child Yankee merchandise in the hopes of converting them.

Named your pet after a Yankee.

Gave serious thought to naming your kid after a Yankee.

Actually named your kid after a Yankee.

You are named after a Yankee.

Thought of moving somewhere outside NYC, but only if you could get Yankee games there via satellite.
No, but dealt with barely any coverage in Delaware, which was four years too many.

Ditched work or school to catch a game.
Yes, but I’ve never lied about it. I was out sick for the Yanks home opener in 2003, but I was all feverish on my couch, not at the game like everyone probably thought.

Wished someone a Happy Opening Day, Happy All-Star Break or Happy Playoffs.
Yes, and I bake cupcakes for Opening Day and cookies for the All-Star Break as well.

Defended the Yankees to a blowhard who hates them.
You all read this blog. You know what I’m capable of.

Watched a Yankee game muted or in Spanish just so you don’t have to hear annoying announcers.
Any time a Fox game is on, and sometimes use the iPod if YES announcers are bothering me.

Called up a sports talk radio station to discuss the Yankees.

Had a letter you wrote about the Yanks published in magazine/newspaper.

Can name all the years the Yankees have won a championship title.

Can name all the Yankee retired numbers.

Have cried over the Yankees.
I plead the Fifth.

Have gotten in a huge fight over the Yankees.
No, but I’ve been extremely peeved over things other people have said to my face.

Not paid attention to something someone was saying because a game was on.
For the most part, people know better than to talk to me during big games, and I know to do the same for my other sports fan friends. However, there have been occasions when I’ve…been a little distracted….

Subscribed to Yankees Magazine.
Used to, but not anymore.

Get at least one Yankee-related item as a gift at the holidays or on your birthday.
Moreso in Championship years when Yankee merchandise is all over the place.

Ordered something from the Franklin Mint that was Yankee related.

Watched the late edition of Sports Center two times in a row or more to see Yankee highlights.
Yes, the Aaron Boone game. Luckily, I had off from work the next day.

Have a pre-game routine.
At games, yes. Not so much when I’m watching on TV.

Feel torn when a former Yankee you loved is playing them on a new team.
Yes. Sigh.

Belong to a Yankee message board.

Caught a foul ball at a Yankee game.

Broken up with someone for being a fan of a rival team.
No, but this probably should’ve been the reason…

Not dated someone for being a fan of a rival team.

Converted a significant other into a Yankee fan.
No, but I just realized I’ve only ever dated one guy who was a Yankee fan. The rest? Not so much. That’s so not right.

Made a sign to take to a game.

Save newspapers from big games.
Yes, and I have a bin for them at my parents’ house that’s almost too full.

Can pick a front-runner Yankee fan out from a mile away.
I’m pretty good at this. But mostly after conversing with said “fan” for a few minutes.

Have made friends after bonding over the Yankees.
Man, I have several of those!

This Offseason is Already Too Long

It's the 19th Anniversary of me acquiring my Bischer scar! I'm more freaked out that I can remember something that happened 19 years ago than I am at the memory of all that blood....

So I'm watching the Delaware/Navy football game right now, and it is so nice having a sporting event on where I don't hate the announcers. And these dudes actually thanked the Navy people for giving them their own football jerseys -- and I'm not all crazed yelling "Fucking biased much?!!" I'd like to thank Fox for being the top of the heap of hateage because every other broadcast bias seems minor in comparison.

I'm also glad to know that no matter how much the Red Sox win, they will always be more concerened with what the Yankees are doing. Take this from the parade:

World Series MVP Manny Ramirez waved a sign that a fan handed him: ``Jeter is playing golf today. This is better!'' a reference to Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter.


Every Red Sox fan from now on can walk into Yankee stadium with their head high,'' catcher Jason Varitek said. (Actually, Mr. Varitek, I've NEVER seen a Red Sox fan walking into the Stadium with his tail between his legs. Quite the opposite, in fact. Sometimes you want to strangle them their heads are held so high. So shut the hell up.)

Because it all comes back to the Yankees in their heads. Geez. Just enjoy your damn parade, people -- you can sure as hell bet the Red Sox would be the last thing I'd be thinking of at a New York ticker-taper.

I do find Pedro getting clocked in the head with a baseball all sorts of ironic, though. I was torn between thinking "Serves you right!" and "And they call Yankee fans crazy?" I think I'll enjoy both those thoughts for now.

And the brand-spanking new Red Sox hats have invaded Hoboken. I've lived here for two years and barely saw any BoSox stuff until early Spring 2004. Now it's all over the place. The Mile Square City a haven for cookie cutter metrosexual types AND front runners? Blah.

Friday, October 29, 2004

All You Can Do Is Laugh

So ABC News just cut into Oprah all serious like because Bin Laden still wants us all to die. They then kick it back to Oprah so we could see the Ugliest Room In America before its makeover.

Is it wrong that we all found some kind of humor in this?

Tino! Placido! Oh My-o!

Ooh, Ooh! The list of free agents is up!

And the name that caught my eye first? Constantino Martinez. I know the Yanks are all concerned about Giambi, but should he be let go and they let Olerud go to free agency, man wouldn't it be nice to have Tino back? Tonya can't contain herself with the possibility:

"That is when sports would become like soap operas. Your true love comes back from the dead." Tonya then hugged her Tino Martinez picture and wailed "Tino, come back to me!"

I, for one, would do a happy dance. I know he's getting up there, but would that Yanks be any worse off than they were with the other first base options we had this year? Tino's a great dude apparently in the clubhouse. Just think about it George...

Also, I am all for pursuing Phillies' second baseman Placido Polanco. Just for the name alone.

In Defense of A-Rod, Pt. 2

I seriously want to stop even mentioning the name CurtASS Schilling on this blog, but he keeps saying things that royally piss me off. And since I can't say it to his face, I'll let it all out here. I just saw this lovely item at soft hands where CurtASS rips A-Rod:

"The biggest move, when all was said and done, was the non-move. I think if we get A-Rod [Alex Rodriguez], we don't get here [to the World Series]. I don't question that for a second," said Schilling.

"He's a Hall of Famer, sure. But after getting to know people who a) play with him and have played with him, I don't think it would have worked here. I think this clubhouse would have been a much different place, and I don't think it would have been better, given the personalities involved."

I'm just going to say amen to everything Jennifer said about it on her blog, and add that even though I'm not in love with A-Rod (don't get me wrong, I really like him and I want to love him, but that takes time. I treat every player the same in that respect) I hope to all that is holy that he has the season of his life next year -- just to stump the sportswriters. I see him in interviews and stuff and while people say he comes across as not being genunine, I see it more as he's just trying too hard to say the right thing. He wants too be liked too much and I think he just needs to accept that New Yorkers will always find something to hate about you, so shut them up by kicking ass.

I think once he's at ease with himself and his role on the Yanks (let's not forget he's pretty much been the big fish in the small pond before this season and now he's just one of many big fish in a big pond) he'll live up to what he was before. He doesn't need to take a vocal leadership role because of Jeter and I think that's stumped him. He needs to realize he can lead by example on the field, something I'm sure he already knows. I'm actually interested to see if the birth of his first child will clear his head and make him focus better, because I think that's what he needs. Just drown everything else out and let his natural athleticness guide him and he'll be a'ight.

Oh, and let me just add FUCK YOU CURT SCHILLING.

There, I finally said it. I feel better now.

It's Not Safe to Turn on Your TV Anymore

I don't even know how to write this because I'm not sure how you make the speechless/gagging noise that Tonya and I were just making. I was happily perusing my e-mail when all of a sudden I hear Tonya go "Oh. My. God. OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD." I look over and she's pointing to her TV, her hand covering her face. That's when I hear the music ..."When you wish upon a star..." and there it is on the screen. A montage of Red Sox highlights..."Makes no difference who you are..." and suddenly I'm all "AHHRRRGH!!!" Then we get to the "Hey Red Sox! You've won the World Series! What are you going to do now?" and a bunch of them screaming "We're Going to Disney World!"

Horrified, I tell you. I'm supposed to be safe in New York from things of this grotesque nature.

Add Disney to Nike, Reebok and MasterCard as the list of things Tonya and I are boycotting. Because I don't ever remember seeing a World Series-winning team get the Disney World treatment....not in New York anyway.

Peeved, But Not About the Ring Thing

Am I supposed to be angry that the Sox are receiving their rings when the Yanks are there in April? I'm shaking my head at the classlessness of MLB (because maybe I'm wrong, but I always remembered the Yanks getting their rings like a month after they raised the Championship flag at the home opener) but honestly, I'm more upset that they're cramming the Red Sox/Yanks down our throats so early in the season because apparently they're facing each other on Opening Day too. It's a sad day when I'm already tired of MLB taking advantage of this rivalry (you so know Fox will broadcast at least two of those games when they usually come back for broadcasts later in the season.) I want Opening Day to be about Opening Day, not about the Sox's first trip to the Stadium of the year. I feel like Yanks/Sox has become a bandwagon-fan's special over the past two seasons, and while I still find it the most exciting series of the season, I'm just tired of the focus being on one rival team in the AL. Maybe 52 games with them the past two years has made me tired and I'll feel different in April, but right now? Not feeling the love so much.

I am happy that the prelim skeds have the Yanks hosting the actual Opening Day at home (despite the Sox being in town), though. That's happened so rarely in the past few seasons -- they usually open somewhere warmer or with a dome probably because you can't trust New York weather in April. But I guess they figure they'll risk crappy weather conditions for the Red Sox.

I guess I'm just bummed because I feel like the MLB officials are like "Ooh! Let's make Opening Day exciting for the fans!" when Opening Day is already way exciting for me -- regardless of who they're playing.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

God, this Is Annoying

I usually like Page 2's Being... things where they go "inside" a person's head to see what they were thinking. However, this one "thought" on the current Babe Ruth one got me:

"I tried to tell Cashman God stopped being a Yankee fan when they got A-Rod."

Now, I know I'm not supposed to take this seriously, but with the ESPN/Red Sox love affair, this is just grates me. So God loved him some ego maniac Reggie Jackson and carousing Mickey Mantle/Billy Martin/Whitey Ford, bat-thrower Clemens, but A-Rod not so much? So God would've approved if the Red Sox got him after the way they treated Nomar? What is this, Curt Schilling's Page 2? (Sidebar: Our favorite loud mouth apparently told people to vote Bush next week on Good Morning America this morning. DING! DING! DING! He just sealed himself the title in the first annual Complete and Total Bisch Mr. Jackass Universe pageant!)

But back to the A-Rod thing in general -- how is this a "curse" now? That's what I'm hearing -- it's the curse of A-Rod. Um, the Red Sox SOLD Babe Ruth to their closest rival the Yankees for nothing but cash in return because their owner didn't give a shit about the team. The Yanks got A-Rod from...the Texas Rangers. IN A TRADE. In other words, they didn't steal him from the Sox in the dead of night or through some shady business dealings. He was willing to go to Boston and take a paycut. The Players Union said no. He ended up signing with the Yanks, who needed a third baseman anyway. Curse? Man, my head hurts from the stupidity of that idea alone.


Am I supposed to have some reaction right now? Because I think over the last two years I've been so jaded by "The Curse" that this is kinda old news for me -- you knew the Sox had to win some day, and that was last night. Armaggedon didn't happen. Why? Because just like the other 29 teams, the Sox are no different -- they don't have the keys to the Universe or some special direct connection to God or Satan on their bullpen phone. They are just another team that's won a championship. Their "Curse" was that they couldn't field a superior team to anyone else. Yes, you heard me right. They blew it in the past because they couldn't hack it and the better team beat them. This year? They were finally the superior team. That's that.

Let's fire up the hot stove! It should be an interesting winter.

Ugh. Winter.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Dude! I loved Stone Soup as a kid! [via Yankeebob]

You are Stone Soup!
You are Stone Soup! Truly, you are classic
literature, but your cheerful effervescence
keeps you from being one of those boring
"adult" books. Aww! You're so cute!
"Make it well, and when it's done, share
Stone Soup with everyone!" You will also
enjoy any children's book.

Which Piece of Classic Literature are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

It's Almost Over. Thank God.

I just realized I never really hated the Red Sox that much. OK, I hate when they start brawls and Manny's cockiness, Pedro's dramatics, and their loud-mouth tendencies (ahem, Curtis Montague), but as a team on the field, I respect what they do. What's gotten me so agitated to the point of my blood almost boiling has been The Hype that's surrounded them the past two seasons and that every team that stands in their way gets tossed aside because their "story" isn't as good. Like I've said before, I never had problems with them in 1999 or any other time they faced off against the Yanks. It wasn't until ESPN, the Times, SI and every sports media outlet, (hell even MasterCard) jumped on the bandwagon for "The Curse" to be broken. The topper was last season when they all wanted a Cubs/Sox fuzzy-wuzzy World Series. Not because it would garauntee good baseball being played -- but because human interest stories like breaking a "curse" should be the focus. Spare me.

And that's what happened this season. The Sox's play has been part of the story, but starting with the ALDS, it's always been mostly about "The Curse." When the Yanks had the 3 games to 0 lead, it was all about the Sox collapsing as a result of "The Curse" or whatever, not even so much that for those three games they got out-played. When they came back, it wasn't as much because they outplayed the Yankees, but because it was Destiny (no interlocking NY at the end). Now it's not so much the Cards' lack of...everything...and that the Sox are the better team -- it's because "The Curse" has been reversed.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice that after 86 years the diehard fans in Boston might be getting to see a Series title. But why does it have to be the biggest part of story? I mean, what did these teams with no "angle" like the Marlins, Angels, Diamondbacks, Yankees and Braves do the last 10 years? Were their fans less deserving because their favorite teams didn't make them suffer for so long? The media might have you believe that judging by this season.

Anyway, I came to this conclusion when Steph, Tonya and I were e-mailing back and forth about the World Series today. I wrote the following as if possessed:

I keep imagining watching a Yankee/Sox game, like two years from now, and not one mention of a curse or suffering Sox fans or 1918 will be mentioned, and gasp, the game just being played. I keep imagining falling out of love with the Sox because there's no "story" to them anymore. I keep imagining never again having to see a MasterCard commercial that holds out hope for Sox fans. I keep imagining that the Boston area will be hated should the Sox win the Series AND the Patriots win the Super Bowl -- just like every other town that hosts a winner.

In other words, I keep imagining Boston as getting knocked off its pedestal (after the celebrations die down -- that'll last at least a few months and whenever they play the Yanks next year) should they win. They won't be "special" anymore. Boo fucking hoo.

In other words, I just hope Boston isn't immune to what happens to the rest of the country when people (read: the media) get sick of hearing about them. They've been "special" long enough. Time for them to get unspecial like the rest of us.

Caught Between the Moon and...St. Louis

My dad's calling it right now:

There’s going to be an eclipse tonight between 9:30 and 11:04 PM.  The moon will turn a red color.  I can hear all the commentators that this is a sign from the Babe that the curse is lifted.  We can only hope it’s the opposite. (Hopefully it’s a sign for the “redbirds”)

Dude, if the Fox Fux go on (and on and on) about this (and you totally know they will if the clouds clear around St. Louis because they are the Captains Obvious of Captains Obvious) that crashing sound you'll hear is me throwing my television out my window. Then again, maybe I'll just actually go out and watch the eclipse instead...

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Why It's So Great Having TVs at Work

I swear, we need to start an Oprah drinking game here at the office. I'd probably down about five Snapples in the hour because there are certain things she mentions ad nauseum -- some even moreso. So if she mentions her 50th birthday bash from last year, mentions the fact that she gave the entire audience a car this year, refers to a celebrity as her "good friend" or blows a movie plot because she gushes about it so much (months before the viewing audience will see it in theaters) you take a drink. And forget about the Favorite Things episode -- you'd need an entire watercooler just to get through that one.

Being a Good Citizen

So I'm finally registered to vote in Hoboken, and I get to do it in the building that houses our busybody neighbors! I wouldn't be surprised if they follow me into the booth to see which lever I pull.

Oh, and you know what I hate? When people say to me "You know, women fought for your right to vote so go out and do it!" Because I seriously doubt people like Alice Paul would want to be martyred in such a way. It is my right as a HUMAN BEING to vote. Those women should never have had to go to such measures to be heard when it was their right as a citizen of this country to vote. Am I grateful they got the wheels turning and devoted their lives to it? Yes. But women ALWAYS should've had the right to vote. So excuse me for going into the booth next Tuesday and doing my job as an American, not as a female.

Jersey Fresh

So did you ever get the forward "You know you're from New Jersey when..."? Well, the most recent time I've gotten it, I realized that it warrants a response, especially when talking about "shore" related things....

You've been seriously injured at Action Park.
No, but I have gotten a splinter in my foot at the Boardwalk.

You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.
And that people from outside this area cannot do a Jersey/SI/NYC "accent" for the life of them.

You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.
There's no other way to breakfast at the beach. And I lost my first top tooth eating one at the beach when I was like 7.

You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
Um, no. Never went there till I was 18.

You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.
Yes, but mostly in Delaware. I can go to a diner any time of day in any condition. Diner food is the best EVER.

Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you.
Um, no.

You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.
To this day we in the Bischer household still lament the loss of Two Guys. But we have a fabulous Thanksgiving turkey platter from there that will live on forever.

You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.

At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.
Yes. And Sayerville, but currently living in my hometown -- but on the street with all the mega rich people, not with the regular folk.

You know what a "jug handle" is.
You mean there are people who don't know?

You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.
WaWa is not just a store, but a way of life.

You know that the state isn't all farmland.
I know it's more farmland than oil refinery, but let the outsiders think different.

You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."
Um, again, no to the first one. When you live 7 miles west of the ocean, you don't say "I'm going down the Shore!" That's for WEBS and BENNIES. The people who live close to the beach, which is a good chunk of the state, will probably also say "going to the beach." And who the hell calls it the Garden State HIGHWAY?

You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree.
I never heard this term till later in life. Though I do wonder why some in the Pine Barrens have southern accents...

Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero."
It's always a sub. Jersey Mike's rocks for these.

You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.
No. Should I? I remember the Westchester County Fair commercials...

You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
Yes sir!

You knew that the last question had to do with driving.
Yes sir! And a damn shame they're phasing these out for easier driving. Where's the challenge in that?

You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation.
Acme is a little over-priced, actually. Foodtown is the way to go.

You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City."
Daytrips? Is that what going to work is? Man I want my money back if that's the case.

You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
I know that my family couldn't live without White Castle, though I haven't had one of their burgers since I got REALLY sick on a few when I was 8 (though my dad says it's a right of passage to get sick on White Castle burgers). I do like their chicken and fries and milkshakes, though -- and they have to be eaten in a car for full effect.

You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.
I've never eaten corned beef. I know, shoot the girl with the Irish roots...

In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high.
No. In the 80s I was a kid, when you didn't care about your hair.

You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny.
But it is very important. If someone gives you a Parkway exit, you know they're from "the Shore." a Turnpike exit, you know they're from inland.

You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22.
It is?

You know that people from 609 area code are "a little different."
The ones I knew in college were OK.

You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters.
I couldn't get into Princeton with my grades so I don't care really.

The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.
More like the South/North football game, but whatever.

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
Grew up near three, and currently live near at least three. That's a great state for you.

You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.
In Middletown, yes. In Hoboken, hell yes.

You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
But doesn't everyone?

Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony.
No. I had a lot of half-Italian classmates, but I don't really remember any Tonys.

You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos opening credits is.
No. I grew up nowhere near there.

You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.
Only been there once and Melissa was driving, so I don't remember.

You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.
Boardwalk SAUSAGE, people. Cheesesteaks are best in Philly, so let's leave it at that.

You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.
OK, time for me to really get shot -- I've never been to AC. *ducks from flying debris being hurled my way*

You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
No. You just packed up the car for the day and went at 7:30 a.m. if the weather was nice. Then you left by 1 and laughed at all the WEBS sitting in traffic, trying to get on the beach. Now I just go hang out at the parents' place and usually go on the boat to get the first official woe-is-me sunburn (even though it's cloudy) of the year.

And finally...You've never pumped your own gas.
Uh, yes I have. In college. But I haven't since then. Though I get to do this again next week!

RIP, Robert Merrill

Long before there was Ronan Tynan, there was Robert Merrill. I just realized it's been awhile since we've seen him and now we'll never hear him sing at Yankee Stadium again. Sad, sad day for Yankee fans.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Misty Water-Colored Memories

What would I do without the YES Network? They're showing Game 6 of the 1996 World Series right now. Fitting, because tomorrow is the 8-year anniversary of that win. God, I remember watching that game in such a cautious state of suspended glee. I've never paced so much in a game as I did in that one. I didn't want to believe it till the last out was made, and when Charlie Hayes made his catch, I don't think I've ever screamed so loud in my entire life. I jumped up and down in my dorm room with my friends Jason and Heather, ran upstairs (and to this day I still remember the feeling of the stairs under my sock-feet and the smell of the stairwell) to celebrate with the Yankee fans there, ran back down and celebrated with Jason and Heather some more and called my parents where I screamed a thank you to my dad for making me a Yankee fan. All that in a span of about 3 minutes.

A friend told me later he was walking across campus, when all of a sudden this collective roar erupted from all the buildings around him. It took him a minute, but then he thought to himself "Ah, the Yankees must've just won the World Series." So I'm guessing I wasn't the only one screaming like an idiot that night.

I don't know if I've ever been that insanely happy before or since. Not that much could top that -- you see your hopes and dreams and faithful investments realized in one game, after all the ones you've lived and died with in your life, and it's as if joy was invented specifically for you and your fellow fans and that moment.

Oh man, that's quite a feeling.

The Times' Turn to Shock Me

Neat-o! An editorial in the Times from a -- gasp! -- mellow Yankee-fan perspective that kinda -- bigger gasp! -- pokes a bit of fun at the Sox! I like the idea of the story, that accepting defeat isn't so hard because baseball, unlike life, is fair. However, I don't think the author knows many women baseball fans, because he goes on about how it seems many more men than women are baseball "evangelists." Considering almost all my rabid Yankee fan friends are female, and considering how many women keep baseball-related blogs to take their rantings and ravings to, I think he needs to get out a little bit more. But aside from that, a nice piece.

Schilling's an Ass! No, Really!

You know, I do admire Curt Schilling for being able to go out and pitch extremely well while injured. And I'm sure he does great things for charity. But I've always had this sense that the man was a jackass. I knew it in 2001 when he downplayed the strange things that happen at Yankee Stadium in big moments, and watching him talk on Nine Innings from Ground Zero, his attitude just kinda irked me. Then he opened his mouth about shutting up New York fans for Game 1 two weeks ago and that was it. At first, I thought it was just me and my fellow Yankee fans who thought he was an ass. Well, apparently other people see it, too.

Check out Shannon's blog for the story. (Newsday doesn't have the story up anymore and you have to pay to see it on their site). And keep the story in mind the next time you see him speak!

Required Reading for Today

According to Phil Mushnick's column today, there are MANY of us not-so-in-love with Fox right no:

Meanwhile, throughout this postseason, our mail has been loaded with the same, basic hypothetical questions. We'll place them in composite form:

If fans could choose between what Fox and ESPN have offered and a network that provides minimal chit-chat, far fewer crowd shots, only essential replays (no "Pitch By Pitch," for example) and a view of the game that would be only minimally obstructed by essentials-only graphics (none of which would explode, spin or be attached to noise of any kind, and none that read, "Right Now!"), which network would baseball fans choose?

Let's hope Fox gets the memo and changes things up next season. Oh, wait! LOL! Like that will happen!!

Meanwhile while checking out soft hands yesterday, this link to another's post made go "Right On!" While I was online at a kitchen-goods store on Saturday, the woman behind me picked up the Yankee bottle opener that delivers John Sterling's homer call when you pop open your beverage. The woman laughed at first and was then all "Yeah, not so much this season" and her husband started going on bitterly about how he couldn't take it, that they deserved to lose, blah, blah, blah. I practically bit through my tongue to not say anything, but you know all I was thinking was "Spoiled F'ing Fans." Especially since all my most diehard of diehard fan friends are taking this like men/women and moving on.

Sleepy and I are Meant to Be!

But Johnny Damon and I are just supposed to be friends. THANK GOD. [via lupe_velez who somehow got Jeter as a sex toy and most likely to dump you for a teammate. Hmmm.]

Which Baseball Players Do You Match With?
Favourite Team 
Favourite Position 
Just a Friend Johnny Damon
Sex Toy David DeJesus
Serious Relationship Bret Boone
Massive Hate-age Brian Roberts
Dumps You For Teammate Carlos Beltran
Gives You An STD Albert Pujols
This QuickKwiz by imjustjoshin - Taken 243 Times.
New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes

Sunday, October 24, 2004

What I Think About When the Season's Over

Just got sucked into You've Got Mail again and as always, I covet Meg Ryan's apartment. Just like the other day I was watching Something's Gotta Give (not really suck-in worthy, but I was sick and couldn't move) and Diane Keaton's kitchen almost made me sicker with envy. Must be the fall decorating urge...maybe I'll change to my winter comforter to keep myself from remembering I'm too poor to afford a gourmet kitchen. That I may add, I'd actually use, unlike some people who just get big beautiful kitchens just for show. Not that I'm jealous or anything. My kitchen would be cooler anyway -- there'd be some Yankee potholders, salt shakers and magnets for sure.

Word of Warning

OK, sickness, you've been here one week and if you don't leave soon I'm going to have to kick you out and it won't be pretty. I know downing my antibiotic and listening to Enter Sandman once a day (in hopes to "close it out") hasn't done the trick, but now that you've added a cough to your repertoire I am going to have to get good and mad. You thought that one night out at the Stadium was bad? I can think of other suitable punishments far worse than that. If you were a batter, I'd totally bean you in the head right now. And you wouldn't come up alive, that's for sure...

I only have one sick day left of my original five. (And I've been fucking sick on every one -- what fun is that?) So now I resort to Pedro-like measures in order to get rid of it. Desperate times...

Whoa, The Post Speaketh The Truth

Two things that caught my eye perusing the Post today:

1) Joel Sherman's column that tries to pinpoint what went wrong this post-season. He doesn't bash, doesn't use the term "lack of heart" and pretty much hits the nail on the head. Whodda thought a columnist at an NY tabloid could see things so clearly? Especially since Mike Lupica has yet ANOTHER COLUMN BASHING A-ROD today. At least I think he is -- I just read the headline "A-Rod Not the Face of Success" or something like that and refused to read it. And I refuse to link to it as well. I'm not in love with A-Rod's perfromace in the ALCS either, but Jesus Christ, Lupica, find something else to rag on.

2) In Phil Mushnick's column reads the following bit:

If we heard Curt Schilling right during his interview with Fox's Kenny Albert after Game 7, the Red Sox won because Schilling is on God's Buddy List.

Amen to that. And, Curt Schilling, nice that your religion is important to you. But a good Christian wouldn't be all wishing to "shut up" people either.

Be sure to read Phil's take on the start times of the game and his Jeannie Zelasko rant. I don't think I've ever agreed with him this much in one week.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

El Capitan in tha House!!

OH MY GOD. My roommate Melissa just sent me the following text message: "In a bar w/ Jeter."

I am home sick at my parents' house and MY ROOMMATE IS IN A BAR WITH DEREK FREAKING JETER. Alas, it is not a karaoke bar. Needless to say this warranted a discussion, so after I texted back my great jealousy, she called to say that the place was kind of empty, and knowing Melissa, she might just have the chutzpah to go up and say hello.

I have no idea what I would say if I saw him, if I'd say anything at all. I'd probably be all flustered and like "Hey! You're on a switch-plate in my bedroom!" That's the only piece of Jeter paraphernalia I own, but he'd be all "OK, stalker much?" Part of me would want to be like "You rock, DJ. But dude, please, please, please stop swinging at the first pitch." But it's not nice to critique somebody the first time you meet them. I think what I'd really hope to say is "It's been a privilege watching you play these past 8 years," or "Thanks...for everything." But knowing me I'd be bowled over with shyness and wouldn't say a word to him.

Here's hoping Melissa has better luck. And that she doesn't fail to...wait, she just texted me again: "So fucking hot." OK, so she's still admiring from afar...mention how much her roommate loves him and his team and so doesn't hate them for what happened this week.

Must start hanging out at NYC bars more...

Friday, October 22, 2004

How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?

Oh, sorry. I was watching I Love the 90s and the segment with Michael Bolton came on. That song drove me nuts when I was 12, but now it might just be a great song to sing about the (ugh) Offseason we've just started. Big sigh.

Anyway, on my 10-minute walk to Penn Station this evening, my spirits were lifted greatly when I noticed something spectacular. Here's what I saw:

1 woman in a Red Sox cap

1 man in a Dodgers cap

14 people in Yankee caps (OK, one may have been worn as a fashion statement. It is New York after all). That's more than 1 person passed a minute donning an interlocking NY.

So I just wanted to let my friends outside the NY area know that it's all good up here. Rumors of its death have been greatly exaggerated -- Yankee pride is alive and well.

In Which My Head Just About Explodes

I read the following article hoping to see a nice column about the Cardinals, and instead I get this:

Bullies usually get their comeuppance. They seem rough and tough, but deep down they’re just pansies who talk a good game. Case in point: The New York Yankees, who this week revealed themselves as individualistic blowhards with overstuffed reputations to match their wallets.

Must. Resist. Urge. To. Hunt. Down. Writer. And. Tear. Him. New. Asshole.

So let me channel this anger in the only way I know how...Blog it. I'll break it down into the things I know best. Words.

Bully: If you're using this as a reference to the Yankees beating other teams in the AL because they had the winningest record, then you can't contrast them with the Cardinals who had the BEST RECORD IN BASEBALL. If you're saying the Yanks went out and threatened other teams to give them their lunch money or else they'll get flattened, again, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? Oh, right, because of the Yankees hugantoid payroll, they have to give money to other teams. Hmm...

Blowhard: Via Webster's -- 1: Braggart 2: Windbag

OK. Two weeks ago the Yankees were this boring, businesslike team, probably because they refused to talk smack about their opponent. And with the exception of Gary Sheffield's dumbass comments this week, when has this current Yankee team exhibited blow-hard tendencies? WHEN? Oh. In your imagination. Right.

Overstuffed Reputations: Gee, I wonder who gives them the reputation? How does anyone get a reputation? Because other people talk about you and build you up. I never once saw A-Rod, Sheff, Matsui and Jeter (who, HELLO! The media was lining up to give him blowjobs after his face-first dive into the stands in July) saying "I'm so great! I can do no wrong!" No, that's just the convenient label writers slap on these guys because they, *gasp* make a lot of money. Oops. Did I give something away?

Stop taking the easy way out, sportswriters. This isn't a movie script where everything is so black and white, where there's "bullies" and "good guys." Everything needs a scapegoat, and the Yanks have been baseball's for many years now. Hell, they're MLB's fucking lightning rod for anger and hatred. Why? Just because they're 1) Rich 2) From New York 3) Have won a lot recently (though there are going to be four non-Yankee World Series winners in four years when this year is over. Hmm.) Now that they've lost in an extreme way, it's time to burn them at the stake. Over the last 8 years, have you ever seen Joe Torre, Jeter, Posada, Bernie, hell, anyone outside Steinbrenner act in a "blowhard" like manner to warrant this kind of hatred? I didn't think so. But we'll just keep pretending they have so the media can be lazy and throw out cliches when they're too uncreative to figure out another angle.

Then again, maybe this IS like a film. In the movies, sportswriters are usually depicted as the evil, crass and smarmy.

I think I'm beginning to see why.

Shut up, Lupica

Front page of the Daily News today: George making his most disappointed face (or maybe he's just constipated) with the headline "STRIKE OUT: $194M buys you everything but the heart and soul of a champion," with a link to Mike Lupica's lastest "I'm a columnist who follows this team every day and you don't" pompous BS.

I understand the point here. The higher the payroll seems to get, the more the Yanks falter. Then say $194 million buys you everything but a championship, but don't give me this whole lack of "heart and soul" of a champion. That's just a freaking overdramatic literary-minded cop-out. The Yankees didn't win this year because they lacked SOLID PITCHING and the Red Sox's pitchers figured out ways to shut down the Yankee lineup. None of this "Because they didn't want it enough" crap.

He pines for the 1998, 1999 and 2000 teams that won. Yet he gets all bent out of shape on the 2001 Yankees in the last graph because they were one of the teams that "crumbled." You know, when that team was the last year of all the "good guys" he claims made the championship teams so great. So, let me get this straight: Tino, Brosius and Pettitte had "heart and soul" when they won, but when they lost it's because they were suddenly lacking it?

Gimme a break, Lupica. Maybe you lack the heart and soul of a sportswriter now that you have to embellish because, aw, poor you, you don't have a championship team to cover for an easy column. I'm not saying he had to be all Pollyanna about this or even try to find a positive in the collapse, but geez, don't go questioning a team's devotion simply because the other team out-played them statistically in the final four games of the season. That's taking away from what the Sox accomplished and throwing a way-too-simple analysis on the entire Yankees team at the same time.

I'm the most diehard of diehard Yankee fans and I'm not bitter about this. Maybe there's something wrong with me and I'm in the minority here. They say New York is a "loves a winner" town, but I have to wonder if it's because the fans truly feel that way or because the tabloids need to sell a few papers and try to tell us to feel that way.


Thursday, October 21, 2004

(Trash) Talk is Cheap

So Yankeebob hit on something today that I totally agree with: What the hell is up with people who just like to kick you when you're down? Shannon got jeered, and not in jest, while walking around campus today for wearing Yankee gear; Paul Katcher's comments link is full of Sox fans who think we Yankee fans are lying about not being over-the-edge about last night's game (sidebar: maybe because some of us have perspective on the situation. Or maybe they're just pissed that they haven't gotten to some of us as they'd hoped. It's silly to assume that just because Game 7 last year killed them, as one poster says, that we must feel the same way. What ever. They're not in my head and I'm not in theirs. Thank god). What the fuck? I know when Aaron Boone hit his home run last year, I didn't go laughing at Sox fans on the street or cruising Sox message boards to gloat. God, who wants to see people hurting and enjoy it? Actually, that's not true. I did want those trash talkers who came after me to be feeling a certain amount of pain. But that doesn't mean I believe every Sox fan is a trash talker.

Do unto others -- I follow this rule. I don't instigate trash-talking 1) because it's classless and 2) karma's a bitch. I will kvetch about teams I hate with my fellow Yankee fans, but I don't seek out opposing fans to rub in a loss or a player's stats or their team's standings or whatever. If you say you're a diehard fan of a team, then talking smack like that about another diehard's team is just having your priorities in the wrong place.

HOWEVER. If someone comes at me with Anti-Yankeeness first, you can sure as hell bet I'll fire back. But I use facts, not the whole "Your team sucks!" thing. Which has been the tactic many have tried with me over the years, unprovoked I might add.

God. There is nothing as pathetic as people trying to kick you when you're down. Say it's because obnoxious Yankee fans have dished it out over the years all you want, but that means you're just sinking to their level now isn't it?

7 Plots for 9 Innings

There are supposedly 7 basic plots in literature. (Actually, there are many other theories too, but we're going with the 7 right here) After checking them out after my roommate and I were trying to remember what they were, I totally realized that each of these plots was represented in some way at every Yankee game I went to this season. Behold:

1. [wo]man vs. nature: Oh, man, this was the season I became a stalker. At almost every
Yankee game we went to this year, weather was a factor. Would the rain hold off? Why do I need a sweatshirt in August? Oh my god it's so friggin' humid. Oh my god I can't feel my hands it's so cold. We had maybe one or two beautiful nights for baseball. Which is weird considering the next day was always really sunny and nice.

2. [wo]man vs. man: Totally the night where there was a near brawl in the seats across the aisle from us. Even though Tonya and I had a bad case of the giggles over the one guy possibly coming to kill us at the following game when our crew kinda pointed him out to the cop.

3. [wo]man vs. the environment: I don't think any game itself had an environmental theme...but since he works in environment, maybe the game Matt came to?

4. [wo]man vs. machines/technology: The Stadium semi-blackout that I was so fortunate to be at!

5. [wo]man vs. the supernatural: Well, duh. The ghosts
get involved from time to time.

6. [wo]man vs. self: Did they lose because I wore the grey shirt to two games? Or was it because I didn't get a pretzel this time? These questions of luck one burdens themself with can really take a toll.

7. [wo]man vs. god/religion: Ooh! The night of the Jews For Jesus barrage with the pamphlets and "The Babe" in the Manger. *Giggles.*

Baggage Claim

For once, finally, the Yankees have some baggage. Just like every other baseball team.

Um, Sports Guy? I know you're all giddy and shit right now and you deserve to be because I know you're a true fan, but GET. OVER. THE. YANKEE. BLINDNESS. Just because it was the Sox beating the Yanks it's considered baggage? What about:

-- From the time I was 2 to the time I was 17 the Yankees blew goats (but I still loved them anyway), fielding lineups of no-names and bad, bad pitching. I think I actually cried from frustration over them a few times.
-- 1995: Don Mattingly gets his first and last trip the playoffs when the Yanks are beaten (after a 2 games to 0 lead) in the ALDS by Seattle in extra innings. It was my first Yankee punch-to-the-gut and I remember feeling a lot worse after that than I do right now. To this day, I still cannot watch Ken Griffey Jr. sliding across home plate.
-- 1997: Hmm, I seem to remember this ALDS going a full five games only to be beaten on a Sandy Alomar Jr. walk-off homer. That didn't hurt? You bet your ass it did.
-- 2001: I don't even want to go there. I can't even watch highlights of Game 7 of the World Series. My former Jammed Yankee Toe hurts just thinking about it. THAT's baggage.

It'd be one thing if he were saying the Yanks have some baggage now like fill-in-the-blank team, but the fact that he uses "like every other baseball team" just annoys the shit out of me.The Yankees haven't been sitting there all high and mighty without any painful moments while other teams suffer day in day out. Hell, we didn't even touch on Yankee teams that had bad playoff moments before my time. The fact that the Yanks have been so successful does ease the blow a bit, but man, every individual season is like a life. You watch every day, month after month and want to see it come to fruition and do well. So when it comes close and doesn't, it still sucks no matter how many championships your team has.

The Mo(u)rning After

Random thoughts on this first day of the (ugh) Offseason:

-- I love the casual fans (i.e. the ones who jump on in October because everyone and their mother is talking baseball and they don't want to be left out) who are whining about this Yankee team not being able to pull it off and how pissed off they are right now. Yes, I'm so sorry your dream of one week has been dashed in such a cold, cruel way. Or not. Come see me when you devote every day of a season (and offseason, for that matter) to following this team and then we'll talk disappointment.

-- Why the hell do people feel the need to turn over cars and burn things when their team wins? To me that means you're not a fan -- it just means you needed an excuse to hide behind so you can behave like a jackass.

-- One of the backpages read "Hell Freezes Over." Um, no. The Sox have to win 4 more games for that to happen. Beating a choking Yanks club is huge, but they have to erase the 1918 for the snowplows to be busted out in hell. Not saying it isn't possible, but let's not overdramatize just yet. Oh wait. NY tabloids over dramatize? That's redundant.

-- Everyone's been so nice to me at work today. This is the great thing about working with mostly women and gay men -- they understand the need for some TLC when you're feeling down, even if they don't like baseball. They get how much the Yanks mean to me and that's just awesome. Tonya is back in Iowa, but everyone is all "Did she call out with a broken heart?" which made me laugh. Stephanie brought in Krispy Kremes for everyone to soften the blow a bit and we just had and optimistic chat about everything, so I'm feeling a bit better.

-- The pitching this season was the Achille's heel. From starters to the bullpen it was always a crapshoot. The 61 come-from-behind wins is a telltale sign of that. -- you don't have to come from behind when your starting pitching is solid. But the fact that the Yankees pretty much won 101 games and made it to the ALCS in spite of their pitching is pretty damn impressive. Can you imagine what this team would be capable of with two good arms added to Moose and Liebs, and a young arm in the pen? Oh, the possibilities...

You Win Some, You Lose Some, You Live

I’m torn with being deeply sad and angry right now, so excuse the schizo nature of this post.

I truly thought they could pull this one out, but geez I was wrong. Kevin Brown, I stuck up for you all season and believed in you even after you broke your hand. But tonight? Thanks for nothing. Javy Vasquez, you were supposed to be our Andy Pettitte replacement. You couldn’t even shine his damn shoes. There, I said it. I’d fault the lineup for being so anemic, but when you’ve got a 7-run lead to comeback from, I’d be a little light-headed too.

< rant > It made me realize one thing, though. If you don’t think you can handle the NY pressure (regular season and postseason), please don’t come play for the Yankees. I don’t care how much they woo you, how much you want a ring. You need to have balls of steel to play here, and you and only you know what you’re capable of so be fucking honest with yourself. It seems to just be the pitchers who become the biggest fuck-ups. Maybe it’s the Yankees’ fault for going after these guys, but they’re not forcing them at gun-point to sign. You’re not only messing with your own career, but an entire team and the hopes of god knows how many fans. So any pitcher or player out there who thinks the Yankees might be a good fit, make sure you damn well KNOW you can take it before signing on the dotted line. Otherwise, you’re just setting yourself up for disaster (think back even to Kenny Rogers and Terry Mulholland) and lord knows nobody wants that. < / rant>


This wasn’t NEARLY as heartbreaking as 2001. Nay, I don’t even think I’d classify it in the heartbreak territory. I can see Sox fans being extremely happy with it (duh), but I don’t see Yankee fans getting bitter (and if there are people who get bitter, it’s going to be the front-runners, so maybe they’ll do us a favor and jump ship – Red Sox Nation be ready to welcome aboard a bunch of shit-for-brains who just want to be part of a winner) and mooning and pining over what might have been. No, this was just damn frustrating. Not even so much that they lost to the Sox (because this loss is just a drop in the bucket compared to all the nice things we’ve done to them in the past) No, because now I have to deal with all the gloom-and-doomers when I just want to forget about it and deal with my own sadness. And I’m sure the instigators will be out in full force despite the fact that I never instigate trash talking…Sigh.

But the Sox, gloom-and-doomers and instigators can’t take away the absolute joy I derived from this team this season. They can’t take away the new friends I’ve made through our mutual love of blogging and interlocking NYs on a midnight blue cap, friends who I hope stick around to keep things warm in the offseason. They can’t take away the great Yankee-centered conversations, e-mails, jokes, articles, I’ve shared with friends and family and co-workers, and they sure as hell can’t take away the fun I had with my season ticket crew on those iffy-weathered Friday nights, or those playoff games that I’d sit through with 100 sinus infections and fevers if it meant just being there.

But I am sad. Sad to see the season go. Sad that it had to end so lamely. Sad for what George might try to do this offseason in his haste. Changes need to be made, but you know him when he gets trigger happy…and fires the wrong gun. We just have to wait and see, I guess.

I started this season watching from my bed in the dark, and that’s how I end it. It all began with my own sleepy-
minded haikus, but I’ll finish it with some lines by a more established poet, Mr. William Wordsworth:

Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind.

If you’ll excuse me now, I have to tend to a certain Chicken who’s just about sobbing his eyes out and needs some consoling. I’ll simply tell him what I’m about to tell all of you…

…Only 117 days till Pitchers and Catchers.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Si! Yankee Beisbol!

The SAP button is in full effect for this game! Thank god for small favors!!

Too Much Yankee Talk? Nah.

I'm wondering if all the Yankee Talk that emanates from my cubicle bay is pissing off people in the cubes around us. Tonya and I rant and rave on a consistent basis (but we get our work done), and then we get joined by Stephanie, our optimistic maintenance guy, our boss, one of the other Yankee fan editors, and our office manager and it turns into a big pep rally most of the time. I bet people are sick of hearing about Yankees This and Yankees That, but then again our art department just blew the ending of "Open Water" for me this morning over the cubicle walls because of their version of our coffee klatch, so whatever.

Sing it, Brother!

Oh my god! I think I love Phil Mushnik just for this column about Fox's suckiness. Couldna said it better myself.

F-Bomb's Away!

First off, hello to those who found this site via Ryan Cormier's Pulp Culture blog at delawareonline. I'll always remember the holy crap! expression on Ryan's face the day we found out David Wells had pitched a perfect game (we were all in a meeting at our old stomping ground, The Review, when my mom called me with the news and I had thought someone had died because she knew not to call during a budget meeting, but that was big news, yo) and I think he once described me as "glowing" over the Yankees, so that's probably why he directed you here. Hope I don't disappoint.

OK, can I just say how much I HATE gloom-and-doomers? They're out in full force today, but that's only because they don't get it. I hate that nobody is realizing something huge here: A week ago, the Sox were the HEAVY favorites in this series -- they were supposed to take the Yanks in 5 or 6 games. Vegas odds makers believed it. The sportswriters made it sound like there was a certain kind of entitlement on the Red Sox's part and the Yankees were just a mere road to cross to Destination Destiny. The bandwagon Yankee fans all believed it, though that's not really a surprise. The rest of us didn't. Why? Because we've watched this team all season and know better.

So they blew a three games to none lead (and let it be known that all those who were so in love with the Sox at the beginning of the Series, quickly cooled after a Yanks two games to none lead, so what the hell do the "experts" know?). OK. That sucks. But you know there would've been the whole "Well the Yanks won, but it was without Curt Schilling at 100 percent so..." anyway, so maybe it's best that we have a fight to the death here. This Yankee team, man, they are a boat load of potential. If you've seen what I've seen this season (ahem, 101 wins) you know the gloom-and-doomers have no damn clue as to what they're talking about. So without further ado:

Fuck the sportswriters with their heads up their ass (Sox in 5!!!).

Fuck the negative sports radio broadcasters (Sox in 6!!!).

Fuck the Fox broadcasters (Anybody but the Yankees!).

Fuck Scooter, that stupid talking baseball while we're at it. Just because.

Fuck Liza Minelli's version of New York, New York.

Fuck the bandwagon Yankee fans ("That rainout in Boston made the Yankees lose momentum" Oh, wait, they won the next game with 19 runs, dumbass).

Fuck the gloom-and-doomers (That's it. Bernie's old. Our pitching sucks. Joe Torre doesn't know what he's doing. End of the world).

Fuck 'em all.

I feel so much better!

It ain't over till it's over, people. And this Yankee team is capable. Believe in them.

Riot Gear? Ummm....

Well, I've officially seen it all at a game. The crowd gets restless (the result of not having instant replay on the scoreboard worked against the Umpires, who made the correct calls from what I'm reading. But with two reversed calls on plays that looked really close the first time round, plus the home plate ump's sketchy calls, the natives are gonna let you know they're pissed. Had they had a replay to show that Rodriguez was in the wrong or that Bellhorn's ball was a homer, you would've avoided the throwing stuff on the field crapola then and there. But whatever on that.) and they call in the riot police to guard the first and third areas. Oh fucking please. As I said, they were protecting the umps from...the corporate seats. That's right, there's no rowdier group than rich people in the boxes. Not in the upperdeck...Not in the bleachers...You gotta watch out for the business men who could probably care less about the umpires. I think it was a big-ass show to "scare" the fans, we the brainless bunch they think that we are, which is just bullshit. Throwing things on the field is stupid, but in New York you don't see any yahoos jumping on the field and attacking players and shit like that -- even without the riot squad.

People may have chucked things on the field, but I have to say, that crowd was the least obnoxious crowd at a Sox/Yanks game yet. I only saw one person get tossed in our area and only because they were merrily cheering "Fuck Boston!" Normally you see about five or six people get carted off, all drunk and stupid.

When we were leaving the game, there was some of the worst walking congestion I've ever encountered at the Stadium on the outside. It took nearly a half hour to get around the darn thing. But in that time, where people were cramped together and barely moving, no one got pissy or shove-y or anything. It was a very spirted, but polite crew.

I'm sure there will be some condemning column tomorrow in each of the papers saying fans need to learn how to behave themselves, blah, blah, blah. I didn't get to hear the Fox Fuxes take on it (someone please fill me in on what they said because I'm sure it was lovely), and lord knows what the Boston papers will say. But know this -- that was one of the best crowds I've ever had the pleasure of being with at a game, and it was freezing, rainy and the Yanks didn't really show up till late. Lambaste it all you want, but that's my congregation you're talking about there, and right or wrong, I say they were just feeling the spirit.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Tee Hee

OK, the headline made me laugh. The backpage of Sox in the City gave me a giggle too. The Post may be all crazy and shit, but damn if they don't come up with the best headlines.

Home sick today. Actually feeling a little better, but didn't get much sleep last night due to drippy nature of nose and extreme teeth pain. So of course the night the Yanks finish before midnight, I still don't sleep. Sigh.

Monday, October 18, 2004

You Can Run, But You Can't Hide

OK, because I sat through all six hours with a fever of 100.4, I think I'm entitled to blow off a little steam. So line up boys. It's time for your spankings:

-- DJ: Your one hit was huge. The rest of the time, you swung too freely. Just because you're captain doesn't mean your exempt, so take it like a man: SLAP!
-- Tony Clark: Do you not see the ball, my friend? WHACK!
-- Matsui, Shef and A-Rod: Ditto that. SMACK!
-- Tom Gordon: 2-run lead man, 2-run lead! KICK!

Loaiza, I don't fault you too much for this loss because you seriously impressed me before the winning hit. Not your fault your offense couldn't do squat. TAPS NICELY ON TOP OF THE HEAD.

But of course, you know I still love you all. I think you'll have a nice enough time thinking about it on the flight home anyway. Think hard, but think positive. And think about not swinging so much at pitches in the dirt.

And you all know what this means. Yup, it's me, Tonya and our third time seeing the Red Sox this season. We are seriously owed for our previous two outings...ahem, Yankees. If it rains out tomorrow, all the better. I get another day to shake this fever. But I will be there no matter when they play, no matter what the conditions. Wild horses (subway rats?) couldn't keep me from it.

It could be...well. Yeah. You know. I don't have to say it.

I'm off to down some amoxicillan now.

Can't I Get ONE Normal Broadcast?

I don't know what's worse -- having to listen to the Fox Fux (who are so pulling for Boston that they may as well bring Pedro up to the booth to make out with them) or a gloom-and-doom John Sterling (who's 5 seconds ahead of the TV broadcast.) There's no SAP option today, so I'm stuck. Ah, well.

Bar? None. For Yanks/Sox anyway.

I've realized I can't watch baseball, or at least Yankees/Sox in a sports bar. 12 different TVs, with the volume turned up loud on every one (so no muting Fox jackasses when warranted), people walking by and blocking your view, fans with this strange sense of entitlement that they get all huffy when El Duque gets in a jam (dude, 3 games to none lead. Calm the fuck down and stop being so damn greedy.) just doesn't make me happy. So when I threw my money on the table in the 5th last night, Tonya's like "yeah, I'm ready to go too." And can I tell you, listening to the game in the cab and then getting home where I could control the volume made me feel ten times better? Maybe it's an only child thing or something.

It was funny though, because as we're leaving the bar I was telling Tonya how I hate fans who are all gloom-and-doom and shit, and this guy passes us and barks "I hate white people!" We just kept walking and I was like "well, to each his own." Ah, crazy New Yorkers. It gave us a good giggle.

So I made an appointment with the doctor, which I'm already not thrilled about -- I always feel like he thinks I'm there just to get a fix of antibiotics or something. Which I am. I mean, if I could, I'd just go pick up some amoxocillan right now and save myself the half hour wait and two-second visit where the doctor's all "you tell me what's wrong with you because a fever of 101 isn't that bad, you know." But with Game 6 tickets for tomorrow, you know I'm not going to take any chances.

Fox Sucks. You're Surprised, Right?

OK. I got barely any sleep because my teeth and face hurt like hell thanks to what I'm guessing is a sinus infection. That and I dreamt that Ortiz's homer was a dream and when I woke up and realized it wasn't, I was peeved. Needless to say I'm not feeling very nice today.So let me rip on Fox.

Last night, I got to the sports bar around 7:45, and the pregame show had already started, Now the past few years, Fox's policy seemed to be start the pregame at 7:30 on weekends, with the first pitch around 7:50. These past two nights? Not so much. Considering the first pitch wasn't thrown till after 8:20 last night, that's almost AN HOUR of pregame (if the pre-show started at 7:30, that is. If it started right when I walked in the bar, though, that's still almost 40 minutes of pregame). With a lot of football thrown in for good measure. I know Fox wants to be this sports powerhouse and all, but when people tune in to watch a baseball game, they want to see A BASEBALL GAME. Not some pre-recorded football post-game crap (it was still daylight at 8 p.m? There was no fooling us that that shit was live) with Howie Long and Company from Foxboro. Then we had to sit through Denis Leary bitching about something, not because he's a comedian/Red Sox fan, but because he's now part of the Fox family and they needed to pimp his F/X show a bit.

Saturday night was no different. I didn't see any pregame that night because I was out to dinner with my friends. At one point, I popped my head up to see the TVs at the bar and at 8:00, the first pitch still hadn't been thrown yet. This wouldn't have been a problem if everyone on the Fox broadcast hadn't been complaining that it was such a long game. Yeah, it was 4 hours and 20 minutes. But a game seems a lot longer when it's ending literally the next day. Had that game started at 7:40, it would've been over by 12 and that's not so, so bad. Same thing with last night's game -- if we didn't have to deal with all the pregame shit that no one except people with Jeannie Zelasko fetishes cares about, the game would've ended around 12:45 and not after 1 a.m. Those 45 minutes-to an hour make a huge difference in the morning for the viewing audience, but I don't think Fox realizes this or really cares.

This and the fact that I'm convinced their commercial breaks are longer than what YES had during the regular season by at least 1 to 2 commercials more per break. That all adds up to the game time total, but you know, we're all dying to see that preview for House between every inning....

And can they quit it with the crowd reaction shots? Do I really need to see 37 people praying with rally caps on? In a one-minute span? This is the same thing at every game at every stadium. And was it necessary to linger on every Red Sox player on the field in the top of the 9th, as if the camera was saying a quiet goodbye to everyone like freaking Dorothy at the end of the Wizard of Oz?

God, I hate Fox. Please, please, please NBC or SOMEBODY, get baseball away from these hacks...


As soon as PQ was brought in the game, I figured something like Ortiz's homer would happen. I just wish it'd happened earlier so I could've gotten some sleep. I blame it totally on Fox, though. More on that in the a.m.

Guess who's got a slight fever now? Ugh.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

The More I See You (or The Yankees, for That Matter)

It's been awhile since I've been completely bowled over by a song, especially one that's been around years and I've probably heard before but never paid attention to. But just now, as I'm getting ready to go watch the Yankee game, I was stopped by a song on the (you guessed it, running theme this weekend) digital cable Singers and Standards channel. It was Johnny Hartman's version of The More I See You, which was uptempo and fun. The lyrics got me, though. Total props to the writers Harry Warren and Mack Gordon for some of the most simple and lovely lyrics (in my opinion anyway) describing love:

I know the only one for me
Can only be you.
My arms won't free you,
My heart won't try


I then went right over to the ITunes Music Store and downloaded Hartman's and Nat King Cole's slower version.

I'm such a dork, I know.

Chuck! Tino!

YES is showing Game 1 of the 1998 World Series right now -- which happened 6 years ago today. There's so much awesome about this:

-- Kevin Brown is pitching for the Padres and looks so freaking young -- and taller for some reason.
-- Chuck Knoblauch gets to be the man in this game.
-- Tino gets to be an even bigger man.
-- YES is using WABC's radio call of the game, which is what I listened to that night in the car back from Ohio.
-- Michael Kay and the dude from the Daily News were just discussing what's going to happen to Bernie Williams in the offseason. I still can't believe how close we came to losing him. To the RED SOX.

The Yanks are losing 5-2 right now. Gee, I wonder if they can come back?

Crying from KB's Kitchen

Here's a cooking tip for my culinary-inclined friends out there: If there's one good thing about needing vision correction, it's that contact lenses keep you from crying when you're chopping onions. I was so psyched when mine and Shirley's cooking idol Tyler Florence passed this info along. But did I remember that today? No. Because right now? I'm wearing my glasses and holy christ I can't walk anywhere near the onions I just chopped. You'd think I'd just gotten the YES Network taken away from me or something, my eyes are so teary.

Today's agenda: Pot roast and cutting it the right way. Why does it seem men have the meat slicing gene? It is something I sorely lack and am trying to correct.

We Are the Ones Who Make a Brighter Day

So "We are the World" just came on the 80s music channel (man, what did I do before digital cable?) and it hit me just how huge a moment in music history that song was. OK, the lyrics aren't exactly earth-shattering, but to get that many big-time artists together for a cause is pretty impressive. With all the primadonnas (oh, excuse me, DIVAS. Like that's a better title?) running around these days, I couldn't see it happening.

It's also the greatest song to sing with a large group of people, like when you have a 27th b-day party and everyone's good and silly (OK, drunk) enough to take a part in the song. And everyone knows the lyrics by heart despite it being big when you were like 8 years old. Now that's staying power, man!

Hey Nineteen

Thoughts from tonight's (or is that yesterday's?) game:

Amy D. finds Johnny Damon attractive. Needless to say her husband Colm was kinda scared when he heard this. And he’s a Mets fan, so it’s not because of Yankee allegiances. I allowed that he wasn’t so bad looking in his pre-mountain man life, but now…um, no.

It’s taken almost two hours to play three innings. How glad am I that this is a Saturday night?

After Amy and Colm leave, I’m so glad I’m watching this at home with The Chicken. I don’t think I could tolerate seeing Yankee fans and Sox fans taking turns throwing themselves out of bars and into moving traffic as their teams kept trading leads early .

I’ve decided not to care or think too much about the score until the 9th. It’s going to be a wild game and that’s that. No need to give myself a heart attack before then.

Can we get cell phone jammers at all MLB ballparks? Like, take a few hours off from your way important social life and watch the fucking PLAYOFF game, people.

Aw, man! Where are Pedro’s Oven Mitts?

At 9-6 my dad calls. He and my mom are at their friends’ house watching and they wanted to know how The Chicken was handling the game. I said he seemed pretty calm about it; my dad said it was probably a daze.

To calm myself when Javy gets 2 on (OK, to drown out Tim McCarver), I plug the iPod into my ears and de-stress to the mellowness that is Gordon Lightfoot’s If You Could Read My Mind – John Olerud promptly turns a double play. He totally read my mind, yo.

Teach Your Children = A-Rod’s RBI double in the 5th

Come Fly With Me = Shef’s RBI double in the 5th

I love how teams get on the Yankees for still doing God Bless America in the 7th inning during the regular season, but they all trot it out now during the playoffs. Um, OK.

Though the dude that sang it in Boston tonight? Holy moly. He could take on Ronan Tynan, the Deep-Voiced Dude and Andy Pettitte’s wife (who sang it today in Houston) in a rumble and STILL win by himself, he’s so pumped.

OK, the Weekend In New England Fox sports montage gave me a giggle.

Only in a Red Sox/Yankees game would I be pacing with a 9-run lead.

After Matsui’s homer, though, I feel the knots in my stomach loosen.

19 runs. Holy shit.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Oh Yeah, I'm Nuts

Proof positive that I am way obsessed with the Yankees: "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch just came on the party hits music channel and my first thought was "Eww, he's from Boston, change it before you jinx anything!"

Ain't love grand?

One Year Ago Today

Remember where you were? I'll bet you do. Even though the clincher happened after midnight and technically on the 17th.

Let us all take a moment and send a smile in Aaron Boone's general direction for giving us one of the most thrilling moments of our lives. And for inadvertently giving us some guy named Alex Rodriguez.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Fuck. The. Rain.

That's all I've got to say about that.

Loooooong Post

Having been reading blogs for three years now, I've come across links on several to people's 100 Things about them. It's just a random list, where you plug in 100 things about yourself, and after all this time I got around to doing one.

Thank god the Yankees had an off day because it was hard as hell.

But I do recommend my blog friends doing one if they find the time. It's fun to see stuff you didn't know about people and challenging, yet fun to think of stuff about yourself. So here goes:

1. I can’t do a cartwheel.

2. I don’t have my ears pierced.

3. I’m listening to Dance With Me by Orleans. And I’m not ashamed to say I like it.

4. I don’t care how corny it is. Center Stage is one of the best guilty pleasure movies ever made.

5. My first memory is playing hide-and-seek with my parents in the house when I was like three.

6. I can crab with a dropline and use a net one-handed. I bet you’re impressed.

7. The Math People was the first book I ever wrote when I was like 6, when math wasn’t such a pain in the ass yet.

8. Amy K. wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom during Delaware’s NCAA-Tournament berth clinching game in 1999. I still believe this is the reason UD won and we got to go to Charlotte to cover them.

9. That trip was probably one of the coolest 23 hours of my life.

10. I don’t ever remember not being tall.

11. I think I like New York because all the big buildings let me feel small sometimes.

12. I am totally at peace when writing.

13. I saw my ankle bone when I was 7 when I cut my foot riding my Smurf bigwheel barefoot. I still admire my mom for not passing out and being way cool about this when I know she’s not a fan of blood.

14. I was very blonde as a kid.

15. I lost my first tooth while playing with my Weebol People haunted house while my dad was watching Star Trek.

16. I don’t have wisdom teeth on the top. Like, they never existed, thank god.

17. I haven’t been west of Kentucky.

18. The Yankees winning the World Series in 1996 and beating the Red Sox in 2003 were the definition of pure, unadulterated joy for me.

19. I would’ve loved to have been a writer for Mystery Science Theater 3000.

20. I love cool pens.

21. I prefer my hair straight over curly, but refuse to get it chemically straightened.

22. I miss having a dog.

23. We’re at my lucky number!

24. I’m Catholic, but haven’t been to a mass that wasn’t wedding, funeral or christening related since I was a kid.

25. That’s OK though because I’ve converted to Yankeeism and attend “services” at St. Babe’s regularly. God is everywhere, right?

26. I loved the 7th grade.

27. I am way proud of my herb garden.

28. I’m a good ol’ mutt -- Sicilian, Irish, German and French Canadian.

29. I’m very sensitive to sound.

30. I have a thing for guys in navy blue shirts.

31. My eyeglass/contact prescription is –3.25

32. I refused to wear my hair in a ponytail from the time I was 5 till I was like 13 out of stubbornness because everyone loved my hair in a ponytail and I was a brat.

33. Carvel cake rocks my world.

34. I just realized I can see into my neighbor’s kitchen window – and he’s HOT!

35. I never learned to play an instrument. And I DON’T regret it, so there.

36. I do regret not realizing a guy had a crush on me till it was too late.

37. I’m terrified of getting blood taken.

38. I can’t leave the house without making my bed. It’s the one thing I’m anal about.

39. I have terrible handwriting, no matter how hard I try to make it neat.

40. I’ve never been so drunk that I don’t remember what happened the night before.

41. But that’s probably just because I have a hell of a good memory.

42. I share a birthday with Shakespeare, Roy Orbison and Valerie Bertinelli. Andruw Jones and I are the same exact age. Sucks that he has to go and be a Brave.

43. I miss my friends when they go away.

44. I don’t miss Sasquatch, though.

45. I love Frank Sinatra’s Christmas album and The Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack.

46. I’ve liked Masterpiece Theater since I was a kid and hold it partially responsible for my even attempting to be and English major.

47. I hated journalism because I hated asking people questions when you could tell they didn’t want to be bothered.

48. I really should be working on my book right now.

49. I hate when people try to set you up with someone just because you’re both single.

50. I have asked a guy out, but I don’t think I could ever work up the nerve again.

51. I’ve wanted to be a writer (and get paid for it) for as long as I can remember.

52. My room smells like A-Rod Basil right now.

53. I don’t think I could live without bacon, potatoes, chicken or chocolate.

54. I still wear my top retainer while I sleep.

55. I love being silly.

56. If I was pushy and didn’t mind working weekends, I’d totally be a real estate agent.

57. I don’t like snotty bitchy girls, but I manage to get along with them.

58. I like horse racing.

59. I can pick things up with my toes. It’s a special talent, I know.

60. Since college, I rarely get called Bischer, and that sometimes makes me sad.

61. KB is a fine nickname, though (thanks, Dexter!).

62. I’ve been told I can pull off wearing the color yellow.

63. I cannot pull off red or brown though.

64. Bookstores make me happy.

65. With the exception of college, I’ve always lived within walking distance of a river.

66. I don’t think I’d be happy living far from the ocean.

67. My first favorite song was Johnny B. Good.

68. I was terrified of visiting Santa when I was little.

69. I loved miniseries as a kid, even though they went right over my head -- specifically “North and South.”

70. I don’t like condiments.

71. Yankee Stadium is my most favoritest place in the world.

72. My parents are both very good cooks, and their parents were good cooks. I can only hope I inherited it.

73. I’ve always had busty friends which always made me feel like I didn’t have much when I was younger, but apparently I’m average, so it’s OK.

74. I love to walk. Fast.

75. I had an average SAT score and an average GPA, but I can kick ass at Trivial Pursuit, so I know none of that other shit mattered.

76. I can't deal with people who are fickle or flakey.

77. I can usually see both sides of an argument.

78. My 6th grade locker combination was 11-29-27. That's the only one I remember.

79. Ooh, I could really go for a tollhouse pie with ice cream right now...

80. I almost always know when I'm being lied to, but I won't let on that I know till I'm good and mad about it.

81. Chinchillas have always scared the crap out of me.

82. I got told twice in college that I should consider public speaking as a career. But who makes a living as a "public speaker"? And what do you talk about? Could I talk about the Yankees?

83. I'm still holding out hope for that Yankee Poet Laureate position.

84. I can't eat peppers.

85. I count my Smurf Bigwheel, Pound Puppy, Don Mattingly's 423-foot home run, the scrapbook Amy K. made me, getting a Happy Birthday greeting at Yankee Stadium and my iPod as some of the best gifts I've ever gotten.

86. I don't like it when people make fun of the way someone looks. It's juvenile and petty.

87. Lady and the Tramp is my favorite Disney movie.

88. When I was a kid, I made up bad stuff I had done for confession in CCD.

89. Real Christmas tree over a fake one. Any day.

90. You've Got Mail, Drumline, The Joy Luck Club and The Shawshank Redemption aren't movies I'd necessarily buy, but always suck me in when they're on TV.

91. I hate broccoli. My parents always swore this would change as I got older, but it hasn't happened.

92. My legs stay tan year-round. I never understood this, but whatever.

93. I am not a shoe-obsessed kind of girl.

94. However, I am a sweater-obsessed kind of girl.

95. I miss having snow days.

96. I always have to wear a watch.

97. New Jersey stereotypes annoy the crap out of me.

98. My Yankee Chicken could totally beat you up.

99. I think everyone should read A Prayer For Owen Meany, Catcher in the Rye, The Great Gatsby and Winnie-the-Pooh at least once.

100. My god, this was tough

Oh, that Weather Channel

How awesome is with its MLB forecasts? They even break it down to a "First Pitch Forecast" and "Spectator Index." Now if only they can change tonight's rainy outlook. Sigh.

Gary Brings the Devil Dogs

Just read Gary Sheffield's "advice" column and I have to say, I never pegged him for a fisherman. He could totally come fishing with the Bischers! Maybe he knows some foolhardy ways to catching fluke...

Jorge Bad Man! Fox Good!

Yeah, so today Bob Raissman makes Jorge the devil incarnate for destroying the Diamond Cam.

Posada didn't hurt the front-running phonies, celebrities and political hacks who glom all Yankee playoff tickets. No, he just stomped on a camera that brings the fans - who can't get a ticket - closer to the game.

Yes, I know I was crying my eyes out because I couldn't get an undersided shot of every batter that came to the plate. Oh, come ON! Condem Posada for destroying the property, but don't say he took us out of the game because of it.He did it because he's a paranoid catcher -- but aren't they all? So he didn't do it because he's out to control things in a Yankee direction, which is what the column seems to insinuate. If Varitek had done it, I'd give him a round of applause, too (though I'd still not like him).

And let it be known that Fox , the wounded party, has its share of corporate/celebrity jackasses taking up space at games and "glom"ing the tickets, so don't go making them out to be a freaking saint for baseball fans everywhere just because they wanted to bring us "closer" to the game with a gimmick.

Stop trying to create controversy over something as STUPID as the Diamond Cam. Because if that's what's really the key to getting better ratings for baseball, and awkward camera angles are what REALLY draw fans in, this game is in BIG trouble.