Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Well, Subway is Right Downstairs...

Awesome exchange of the day:

Production Guy Jeff: "Jared's (old co-worker) out in the lobby."

Jason: "Jared Fogle?!?"

Also awesome is the fact that Art and Jason keep alternating on humming "Take My Breath Away", which might sound scary, but trust me, it's better than any Muzak you've ever heard. Perhaps they can duet on that at the Christmas party, as Yuletide power ballads are always a showstopper...


Now, for our best Copy Desk inside-joke e-mail of the year:

Mad props to Jason for making me laugh so hard my head hurt. I'm not sure I can explain the significance, but then we are a pretty sick bunch and PhotoShop is a dangerous thing in our hands.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Shopping for Eye Candy at Honeydukes

Since so many of us found ourselves somewhat inappropriately crushing on Cedric Diggory after seeing Goblet of Fire, I give you....


Shut up! He's 19, damn it! (Shannon, however, is totally in his age range. The lucky beyotch.)

And this is for June and myself:


And he's 22! That's older than A-Fed! Look at the strides I'm making...

Monday, November 28, 2005

Cita de la Dia

So today at the restuarant of hot food and hot men — Chipotle — Tonya was telling Erica and I about the T-shirt she wore last Christmas that informed the world she was "Always Naughty, Never Nice" and how her brother didn't think this was appropriate Christmas attire. Her reaction? To roll her eyes and say, "Come on! It's not like I'm wearing a shirt that says 'I went down on Santa' or something!" Which...well you had to see mine and Erica's reactions to fully appreciate it, I guess. But it's awesome.

Just to FYI

The blogging will be a little slow the next few days, as my laptop decided that right before the holidays was the perfect time for its screen to cease working. And being that I'm old money bags, it's not a problem at all that it costs an arm and a leg to fix it. Blah.

ETA: Color me mucho impressed. I dropped the computer off at the Apple Store on Tuesday night, and when it was shipped out I was told it would take 7-10 business days to get back, maybe longer because of the holiday. Well, lo and behold, I get home from work this afternoon and it's sitting right outside my door! And it's fixed! And they fixed other little things I hadn't asked them to fix! And despite the fact that they were supposed to ship it to my office (but it worked out better this way since I was out at 1), I am giving a major shout-out to Apple. I've had the computer three and a half years now, and this problem with the screen is the only trouble I've had with it. And despite the cost of repair, it was a lot better than getting a whole new computer. And now I can work on my Christmas cards! Huzzah!!!

Friday, November 25, 2005

Believe Me, Renters, Harry Has it Worse Than You

So, did something I rarely do these days and saw two movies this weekend. The first was Rent, and even though I haven't seen the Broadway production, I pretty much knew the music and story inside out thanks to the boatloads of people who would listen to the soundtrack on repeat in college. And while I enjoyed the music and some of the performances in the big screen version, I couldn't help but walk away thinking "Who the hell do you think you are, movie?" as I couldn't help but feel like I was being yelled at for being part of the "mainstream"; that the fact that I have a day job to pay for the computer on which I write my stories and that I don't expect the world to just give me everything makes me a bad person. I always think this when I hear "starving artist" -- there shouldn't be such a thing. A day job is what gets you through till you make it to the big time. You work your craft in your free time and when your craft takes off and starts earning you money, that's when you quit said day job. Until then, you need something to survive on and what's so wrong with a paycheck and benefits? Oh, wait. That gets in the way of the dancing in the streets and singing about how much better you are than the rest of the world with your friends. Yeah, I can see why a day job is a bad thing if that's the case. But maybe I just took it too seriously. Either way it gets a solid Meh from me.

The second movie I saw, which I had higher expectations for (and therefore under more scrutinizing) than Rent, was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire...and I loved it. And I didn't expect too, despite my fondness for the book. Azkaban was my favorite book, but I was kind of lukewarm about the movie. It lost a lot of the children-y part of it, which it probably shouldn't have even though everyone said it was necessary to show the kids were growing up. I understood the kids were entering their teen years, but there is still a sense of play in the book. The movie didn't really bring that across, but whatever, it was decent. Goblet of Fire, on the other hand, moved deftly between the serious and the sentimentality of teenagehood, and contained a sense of warmth throughout without losing the sense of darkness. I don't know who you credit for that, but there you go. There was also a lot more action than the previous three, which made the 2 1/2 hour fly, even though they felt packed. Seriously, the movie felt three hours long, but in a good way. And I guess that's a good thing because the next book is a lot more serious and angry, so it's going to be tougher to translate on-screen. But we've got some time till that happens...

Also, the way in which Ron worships the great Quidditch player Viktor Krum made me chuckle a few times because it sounded JUST like Tonya, Steph and I gushing about whichever Yankee has awed us for the day: He's like a bird the way he moves! He's more than an athlete... he's an artist. I believe Derek Jeter falls in the same catergory...

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


The Hideous and Awesome Bischer Turkey Platter just wanted to wish you a happy Thanksgiving.

And here's hoping if you visit any dumps tomorrow that they are open.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Shut Up, Schedule Makers

So today, after Erica informed me that she's planning on seeing the Braves play the Yanks in June (because the Braves have announced their tentative schedule) I decided to nose around the other teams' sites to see when they play the Yanks in an effort to piece the Yanks' 2006 season together. And all I can say is Bite Me, MLB.

The Yanks open in freaking Oakland on Opening Day. Which means they start at 10 p.m. And all three games are that way. I'm guessing they'll play another West Coast team after that, which means probably a few more 10 p.m. start times. Why can't they just play the goddamn AL East or Central and the West plays the West to start the season so everyone at least gets the games in their time zone? Dumbasses.

And then the clincher: The Yanks and Sux? Yeah, they only play each other in TWO weekend series the entire season (they played four last year). The rest of the games are during the week. I guess MLB has decided "the rivalry" isn't cool enough for them anymore, therefore why would it be cool to the fanbases who actually have followed "the rivalry" before it had a fucking label? Like, why would we want to be able to enjoy these games on a weekend when we have time to watch? Oh yeah, and that weekend series in the Bronx happens in SEPTEMBER.

I'll need to see the Yanks' official sked before I make up my mind about the rest of the season, but right now, I'd like to give someone in the MLB front offices a piece of my mind...

A Bitter Bill to Swallow

It is so depressing to get your cell phone bill and to discover that, for the first time in months, you haven't gone over your text-message allotment, nor have you even used near the amount you are alloted.

Because this all just means the baseball season is over.

And that sucks.

Monday, November 21, 2005

39 Shopping Days Left...Just Repent Before You Hit the Mall

One of the awesomest things about New York is the holiday season, and how it seems everyone gets into it. For example, we have this homeless guy who's been stationed outside of our office since we started in July. He's always praying and he has a sign that says to not give him food or money, but thanks anyway, so he's not your stereotypical panhandler. But what's awesome is that he has this cardboard sign on his cart of stuff that says "Repent, the End is Near," (hence his praying, I think) and the other day Art walks in and tells Jason and I that there's now another sign underneath that that says "Merry Christmas!" I took a look for myself the last time I passed him, and sure enough, it's one of those red-velvety scroll things with gold lettering and little ropey chord. Which is great because it's this happy looking piece of holiday finery underneath the whole "Repent, the End is Near" fire and damnation sort of thing. I guess as long as the End isn't coming before Christmas, we may as well be Merry, right?

And on that note, if you'd like a Christmas Card from The Chicken, e-mail with your address and your favorite feathered friend will be with you for the holidays. He's such a good Chicken like that.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Derek Starts Spreading the News...Without Liza

El Capitan, back from his Hawaiian lovefest, was feeling a bit chatty at the Joe Torre Safe at Home Dinner. I swear, I don't think I've ever seen so many quotes from him on so many different Yankee topics in one story. I think the Post knew it too, and that's why they listed it as they did. It must be love. Awwww.

But I think I was most shocked when I read this line:

Jeter hugged Lee Mazzilli, the Yankees' new bench coach.

Why? Because when my first-thing-in-the-morning, tired old eyes took that sentence in, I thought it said Jeter hugged Liza Minnelli and I was like "Whhaaaaaaaaa?" and almost fell out of bed. Especially because of the whole New York, New York thing. I mean, she'd never get a hug from me for that alone...

Friday, November 18, 2005

I Guess It's Better Than a Pain in the Ass

Dudes. I cannot move my head to the right. I don't know what I did, but my neck sure ain't happy with me right now. It started twinging a bit the other day, and I get neck pain once in a blue moon so I thought it was nothing. Then yesterday morning the right side was stiff as all hell, and putting on a shirt never hurt so bad. Then last night, Chewboken arrives home triumphantly at 3:30 in the morning, stomping like he's being chased and wakes me up -- and that's when I realize my neck is WAY pissed off with me. Sleeping on my back, stomach, right side and sitting up did not help. Brushing teeth and putting my hair in a ponytail...not so good. So I broke down and bought those Icy/Hot patches on my way to work and am now sitting with this god-awful smelling white thing slapped on the back of my neck and it's all tingly and hot and cold at the same time. And thank god for swivel chairs, because I can now turn to look at my co-workers without having to turn my head, and that's a bonus.


Saw this on Rotten Tomatoes today and it got me way excited:

Picture 2

I think it's a testament to just how great the books are that they always rate as high as they do, especially since they rarely change much when converted to film. J.K. Rowling is an f'ing genius...

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Ba Dum Ba Da Da — HEY!

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Probably the most bizarre headline I've seen in a long, LONG time...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

My January Self Is Already Screaming at this Post

I know I'm going to kick myself for saying this but I just want it to...stop being warm already. I mean, I could take it if my summer clothes hadn't been packed away, and if my office would actually decide to turn the heat off when it's 70 degrees outside, but enough is enough, for me anyway. I don't need it to be freezing. Just cool. With NO HUMIDITY. And then for it to stay that way and stop fluctuating between 70 and 46. Remember when weather used to be normal? Sigh. Those were the days.

Picture 1

Anyway, this big old mess of precipitation represents a cold front that's coming our way. We were marveling at it at work today (while fanning ourselves to keep from passing out) when Jason took a look at the screen and was like "Man, it's going to be out there." But that doesn't get quote of the day honors, because that only goes to people who can tell their parents they're marrying Geraldo Rivera....hee heeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

My Precioussssssshut Up, Lupicass.

I swear to god, judging by the whole A-Rod has an MVP but it doesn't count because he doesn't have a ring spewing today, I think the NY Media is trying to turn Mr. Rodriguez into New York City's very own Gollum. They want him skulking about town, hissing for his goddamn Precious, because that's the only thing that should matter above all else.

Oh yeah, there's a sexy beast who will sell you lots of papers...

Don't get me wrong, I kind of get the whole He Never Won a Ring backlash, especially since he's admitted himself that he'd rather have a Ring, but I don't get the utter harping on it, when he's only 30. Is it the money factor? Because I get the feeling we wouldn't be making this argument if he were making $2 million a year. Then again, for like the last 10 years, almost every MVP from both leagues has been pretty well-paid and not nearly as scrutinized (save Barry Bonds). Oh yeah, and since 1993, only four MVPs have a Ring to their credit, out of the 24 who have won since then (if I'm counting correctly: Larkin, Pudge, Chipper and Frank Thomas, who just got his Ring, and not really for contributing all that much this season) and I and doubt they got as much flack when they won sans Ring. So maybe we are just holding him to a higher standard because he's so statistically sick that he SHOULD be on a World Series winner?

Maybe he's getting shit because he's a Yankee and this is New York and when you put on the Pinstripes you are destined to be drawn and quartered in the paper from time to time. But then here's a nice little stat for you involving A-Rod and the Babe. Now I'm NOT saying A-Rod is Babe Ruth, so you can start unbunching your undies now. I just want to point out this interesting little comparison: Ruth came in 1919. And when did the Yankees win the World Series? I can't heeeeeeaaaaaar youuuuuu. Oh, right! 1923! (and they didn't even make the Series with him till 1921...two whole seasons without an appearance, and that, like, totally must've been ALL Babe Ruth's fault) So that's five whole seasons that it took the greatest player to ever play the game to help the Yanks win the World Series. And yeah, he already had a Ring, but I really don't think people like my great grandfather gave a flying fig about what you did in Boston when you're supposed to be winning that shit in New York. Wish I could see the papers back then, just to see if they'd given Ruth as much shit as they're giving A-Rod right now...

I think my point here is that a lot of the A-Rod whining is a lot of hot air and a bit unfounded and oh, just a smidge unfair. Considering the man is 1/25 of the World Series winning equation, I don't get why for the last two years, the No World Series Appearance thing has seemingly been entirely on his shoulders. Especially when there was enough blame to go around. He has a mediocre season (by his standards) last year, and this year he ends up having one of the best seasons by a Yankee righty hitter EVER. I mean, for Christ's sake, people, we got to see a righty hit the most homers by a Yank IN OUR LIFETIME. And I dare you to tell me that his 130 RBI didn't help the Yanks in SOME way this season.

And oh yeah, Shut Up, Lupicass. I didn't read your column, but I heard about it, you bitter dickhead.

Monday, November 14, 2005

All That A-Hyphen Defending Pays Off

You know, I don't put too much stock in these awards since the Palmiero Gets the Gold Glove for 28 Games at First Base, What The Fuck Were You Smoking, Sportswriters? Debacle, but seeing A-Rod get named MVP did make me feel strangely relieved, and even a bit happy. It made me realize that even if these sportswriters do carry a Yankee grudge, it isn't all of them, and that some of them might even have been able to put it aside for this voting. More than likely though, I'm guessing the DH bias won out in this one. Which is a shame because A-Rod had quite a phenomenal regular season, and I'm hoping at least some people voted while recognizing that. This kind of surprised me, though:

Picture 2

Yeah, the lone third place vote. Am I to guess that this person put A-Rod behind Ortiz (I get that) and...Who else? Vlad Guerrero? (I can't figure out who the voting breaks down, but Vlad did have one first place vote, and he was the only No. 1 after Ortiz and A-Rod) I would laugh my ass off if it was Lupicass' doing, but then again, he probably voted for Ortiz.

Man, I so wish I was still on speaking terms with the Daily News, if only to read what bile Lupicass is going to spew over this...

But yay for A-Rod. It's not going to quiet his detractors (probably just the opposite, I'm sure), but at least I know I wasn't crazy in thinking this guy was da bomb this season.

I Feel Like I Should Buy a Betamax to Watch it, But...

When did Faerie Tale Theatre come out on DVD and why did no one tell me?!

A Majority of People (I Know) Read My Blog!

I just love when some people, bloggers and columnists specifically, throw out generalizations and don't even realize they're generalizing. Like "Women do this" and "Yankee fans are like this" and "Hobokenites behave like this". Sometimes, they'll throw in "the majority of fill-in-the-blank" but to me you can't say this until you've actually MET a majority of the thing you're generalizing about. You can't have possibly met more than half the women in the Tri-State area, more than half of Yankee fans, etc. Now, you can say "the majority of people I come into contact with" and I'd have no problem with that. But a blanket statement about thousands or millions of people? Not cool.

And I think it pisses me off more because I am always the total opposite of these generalizations (which are usually negative, and that gets me more riled up), and the majority of people I know are always the opposite of it too. For instance, I've heard people say Hobokenites are materialistic Yuppies who make lots of money and love to party. Um, not me, and not anyone I hang out with. Or "Yankee fans are obnoxious" and again, I can't point to anyone I know who fits this bill. I know there ARE people who behave this way (and I'd be generalizing if I said these things didn't exist. I don't know everybody in these factions, but I find it hard to believe the "majority" all fit a one-dimensional bill), but until there's a census done on materialistic Hoboken party animals or levels of obnoxiousness in Yankee fans, I refuse to believe that there is any "majority" or that even this notion exists outside of something that irritates/strikes you.


Our Own Version of House Hunters!

Just for the hell of it yesterday, Carolyn and I checked out an open house at the building a few doors down from ours. Now, all five floors of it were renovated after a fire there almost three years ago (no idea why it took so long to fix it up) so everything inside is brand-new. Which is why we were surprised to find that the asking price for all 10 apartments inside was a relatively cheap (in Hoboken terms, not in the language of KB's and Carolyn's bank accounts) at $460,000. Well, it turns out these two bedroom, 1.5 bath condos are on the very small/narrow side with absolutely no storage space in either bathroom (no bathtub either), only a little closet space and no room for a kitchen table. And someone is going to pay almost $500,000 for it, and that boggles my mind.

Picture 1
Now that I've got a job that pays a little more, I can upgrade my prospects a bit...

Then, instead of being completely downtrodden at the prospect of only being able to afford living in a box in the park if we're ever to buy in Hoboken (so not happening), we were like "what the hell?" and checked out a few more open houses, since there were like 12 within like three blocks of our place. And while they were gorgeous and MUCH bigger than the first one, of course they were closer to the $600,000 end of the spectrum. Which is crazy. But it was cool because we got to see the inside of the building directly behind ours, and I got to see what my bedroom window looks like from the other side. Bonus! I mean, if I can't buy my own place, at least I can catch a glimpse of what my rental looks like from the back, right?

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Never Thought I'd Say This...

...but shut up, Hideki.

"I want to feel that the Yankees really need me. I want to be respected. If I feel the Yankees do not need me anymore, I am ready [to talk to another team]."
Um, what more do you need there, Hideki? The Yanks have made your signing a priority and from what I've read, they are offering you a REALLY nice deal. And considering how craptastic you were in the playoffs this year, you might want to rethink the whole "Woe is me" attitude.

So not saiko. And this?

"I'm satisfied I can live in any American cities because of my experience the last three years," Matsui said. "I do not care if it is a popular team or not a popular team. If the team is winning, a lot of fans are going to come to the stadium."

Now, that sounds to me like a lot of jackassian agent-fed crap, so I'm not even sure I believe this is the real Hideki talking here. But if it is -- can I suggest my season ticket money NOT go toward paying his salary for that comment alone? I mean, since Yankee fans don't seem to matter to him or anything... And good luck getting all that money you're asking for when you only play in front of 20,000 a night -- because that's what "not popular" teams usually draw. Something tells me that's not the kind of team that's going to offer you $10 million a year.

It breaks my heart to hear this coming out of Hideki, who is one of my fave Yanks just for his put-his-head-down-and-play mentality, and always seeming like a decent guy in his interviews (language barrier notwithstanding). I know negotiating a contract is a huge game of tug-of-war, but come on. Even I know you don't say shit like this in the media when your negotations are going on...

Saturday, November 12, 2005

And I Wonder Why So Many People Have the Wrong Idea About My Home State

So I was just reading this week's Time, and there was this little blurb about that movie "Just Friends" that's coming out, and notes this "Jersey" phenomenon among recent movies. The writer also brings up "Garden State" and "Jersey Girl" in this blurb, and while discussing these three movies, manages to bring up "Parkway fumes", big hair and Springsteen, all within a few lines of each other. What? No references to the Sopranos? Or toxic waste dumps? Yeah, so the writer, Ms. Rebecca Winters Keegan, joins every sportswriter I hate becuase like them, she can't steer past the over-simplified cliche. I mean, come on. You work for Time not Jack and Jill. I expect real wit, not relying on lame, tired sterotypes for a laugh.

And besides. It's the TURNPIKE that everyone thinks the fumes come from -- if you have to resort to sterotyping at least get it right. Then again, this author with three names must only know NJ for the Parkway because that's what she takes to her god damn beach house in the summer...Oh, was I stereotyping someone who doesn't know jack about Jersey? I'm so sorry. NOT.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Yet Another Reason Why My Job Rocks

Three words: Karaoke. Christmas. Party. Oh yeah, I've found the mothership.

Of course I say this as I drink champagne in my cubicle, provided at our office goodbye/birthday party.

Where did I find this place?

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Make Me Feel Stupid...Please

******If you did not watch last night's episode of Lost, stop reading...that means you, Dexter*******

I used to be a spoiler whore -- reading up on my fave TV shows to find out what was going to happen beforehand, so I'd know if my favorite characters were going to be OK and not die or do something stupid. Then came Lost, where I realized how awesome it is to watch a show and actually be surprised by what unfolds on the screen. So, aside from scoping out the American Idol songlists/themes, I haven't read a spoiler for any of my shows in over a year. It's kind of nice letting the writers tell me a story and being all "Oh my god!" when something happens that you're not sitting there waiting for.

This is why when I heard rumblings that someone was going to die on last night's Lost, I steered clear of any message boards and when the commercials for the show would come on, I'd look away and plug my ears. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough, because the "rumblings" I'd heard have been speculating for a loooooooooooong time that the person who died last night was going to be the one to bite it. Also, just knowing someone was going to die, you pretty much knew that the episode's focal character was going to be the one to get killed off. So yeah, I was totally NOT surprised by the death last night, and that pisses me off. Though I am holding out hope that because we didn't actually see this person die in front of us that they are still alive and the writers are trying to throw us for a loop and show someone else dead next week. THAT would be ballsy, but I doubt it's going to happen.

I don't like being one step ahead when these shows are supposed to be a form of entertainment. If I can figure out what's going to happen before the end, why bother watching? I would love it if shows, especially Lost, would close off sets, send around fake scripts to the media, put gag orders on its actors just so they can drop a bomb on us and for us to be like "DAMN! Didn't see THAT coming." No show has the guts to do this now, though, because the networks like to generate a buzz so they get higher ratings.

But just once, I'd love for a network to be all "Let's give them a nice shock" and make us feel stupid. Becuase I can write my own stories if I want to know how everything's going to turn out...

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

M-I-S-S You Much, Tino

I guess I knew it was coming, but it's still jarring to see it in print just the same:

Picture 4

Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. And we got to love Tino twice, y'all.

I wonder if he's realized that his return was entirely due to Tonya talking to his photo in soap opera fashion...

Just wondering

Don't you think if you've been frequenting someone's blog for awhile that you would just go and bookmark the site already? Or at least have the address memorized by now?

Don't Fuck With My Job

We have a mole in our office. No, not the burrow-through-the-garden type of mole (we do have mice, but that's another story), but an honest-to-goodness person who leaks our shit to the NY tabloids and makes us look bad. If I ever find out who this person is, I will kick their ass. I like this place too much to have it be made to look foolish in public, and I like it too much to have my job somewhat jeopardized as a result of this jackass' actions. We work way too hard to have stuff leaked, and obviously our mole doesn't give a shit about that.

I hate this person. I hope I don't ever meet them in a dark alley...or our bathroom, which could serve as a dark alley on some days...

Monday, November 07, 2005

Quote of the Day

Jason gets the honors, as when Rana and I were telling him about the A-Rod hater at her party, he shook his head and was all "You should've been like 'Dude, it's a potluck party -- and you obviously brought the hater-tots!'"

Honorable mention goes to Carolyn, who yesterday was telling me about the menu she and Rick are going to have at their wedding and I was like "all of that sounds great!" And she's like "Please, this is my wedding we're talking about here. You will definitely be able to eat." Because Carolyn is as picky an eater as I am, so she understands this stuff.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Sunscreen in my Stocking

Yeah, so, the Christmas season is upon us, complete with lights and bows and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" being played over the Macy's intercom, and while I know it's still early yet, I can't help but be unmotivated to shop because of the following forecast:

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I mean, it's so not right to be in the Northeast and Christmas shopping in a T-shirt and flip-flops...

ETA: What the hell did Safari do to piss Blogger off? Everytime I go to post, it completely deletes everything I wrote and posts just the header. The hell, blogger?

I'm a Hater Hater. So Nyah.

Last night Rana and her roommate Adena threw a pot-luck party for their Hoboken friends, which was awesome because 1) there was LOTS of good food involved and 2)It's great being at a party where you don't have to explain things to be people who don't know Hoboken. Like, you can say "that really cool, nice lady behind the deli counter at the A&P" and everyone knows right off who you're talking about.

But, oh yes, I did manage to get my undies in a bunch over something Yankee related. I was talking to Adena's boyfriend Drew about the AL MVP, when one of Adena's friends jumps in that A-Rod doesn't deserve it. I was curious as to why he thought this, as he was an admitted Phillies fan, and he mentioned that A-Rod got off to a slow start and had a bad April. And that's when the blood got flowing. I swear to god, I hadn't even ingested any alcohol yet and I was getting all hyped up over that comment (though not in Beasterlike fashion, so I wasn't mean) -- I was all "Are you kidding me? He had the three-home run game in April!" and he was all "One game does not a month make" and I was like "That was only ONE of his great games that month!" People, A-Rod batted .304 with 9 home runs and 27 RBI in April -- it was his strongest RBI month of the season. I conceded he got off to a slow start defensively but then that wasn't the argument -- especially since he thought Ortiz should win, and Ortiz doesn't play the field. Anyway, I didn't have the stats at hand at that moment, but I knew this guy (who was otherwise very nice, so don't think he was a jackass or anything) had no back-up and was probably just a Yankee hater and making this argument out of that hatred. Which upsets me -- because if you have legitimate reasons for not wanting A-Rod to get the MVP award, that's fine. But just because you hate the team/player? And start imaging statistics for said hated team/player to make your argument? That's not cool.

Which is why I hate the whole Yankee hating bandwagon. People complain that there are Yankee bandwagon fans who don't know their shit? Well, I've come across one too many self-described Yankee loathers who aren't exactly solid in their knowledge of all things Pinstriped hateworthy either. They will just come up with an argument that is convenient for backing up their cause -- even if it's completely wrong. I can't tell you how many times I've encountered this in all my years as a Yankee fan. Listen, I'm no fan of the Sux or the Mets or Bud Selig or anything, but I'll only rant about what I know (and I wouldn't describe myself as a Yankee fan/Sux Hater in equal capacity...but that's a whole other blog post), I just think the whole "let's hate the Yankees!" craze that has swept America (mostly thanks to's columnists, specifically Bill Simmons and Jim Caple, whose word is held as gospel in the eyes of many baseball fans simply because they can make them laugh) is a bandwagon in itself, and no one has ever called it this. You are associating yourself with something you know little about to fit in and look cool...just like when you start rooting for a team simply because they are winning. It's JUST AS BAD.

Sux fans and Met fans have hated the Yanks for years and I accept this as I believe they, you know, actually have reason to hate. But PHILLIES fans? CUBS fans? ANGELS fans? I mean, come the fuck on. Let's call a spade a spade -- if you hate the Yanks and have no legit reason for it, you are a bandwagoner too. And I'd dare say you might just be a bandwagon fan for your own team if your hate for another team eclipses your love for the one you claim to care about...but that too is another blog post all together.

Friday, November 04, 2005


My old place of employment gets the NoMaas treatment!


And it was an issue I actually worked on. I feel so proud, in the weirdest way possible...

Thursday, November 03, 2005

God Bless Us Everyone!

One of my weirdest lifelong dreams has been to work in an office where a certain favorite movie/book of mine gets quoted freely. So color me excited when the following exchange took place at work yesterday:

Rana: Hey, Art, is it OK if I take the Tuesday after Christmas off?
Art: (looking fake exhasperated) I suppose you'll be wanting the whole day off?
Rana: (looking slightly concerned) Yeah?
Art: Very well, take the day.
Me:(geeked out) Ohmigod! He just quoted a Christmas Carol!
Rana: (laughs) I was going to say, it's just one day...
Me: Poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every 25th of December!

And today, after Art excused me for the evening, I was somewhat surprised because it's our usual late night, but my head was pounding thanks to a shitload of reading and our office thermostat being cranked up to like 102, so I was all "really?" And Art's his usual mellow self and is like "Yeah, sure, get out of here..." then gets all cantankerous sounding and "...But be here all the earlier in the morning." Awesome — and even awesomer as it's coming out of my boss.

That's right -- he's counting out my week's wages right there, all 15 shillings of it.

And it's even cooler because for the last few weeks, every now and then Mona the Mets Fan will start hypothetically casting the Copy Department version of A Christmas Carol, with Art being Bob Cratchit and Jason — hilariously — playing Scrooge (though I see him in more the Mr. Magoo capacity and not that of Alastair Sim). Mona deemed I could be Mrs. Cratchit but I was all "Hells no, I want to be Scrooge's ex-girlfriend. She gets to tell him off!" Because, seriously, why did no one else ever tell Scrooge where to go and how to get there? It just strikes me as weird that everyone was so afraid of his tightwad ass.

Oh yeah, that's Jason and Art right there, TOTALLY.

Anyway, with the Christmas season nearing, I can only hope this gets put into play more as it's one of the most utterly quotable things, like, ever. Though, of course, this job is totally more on the Mr. Fezziwig end of the spectrum and not that of Scrooge and Marley...

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Like, the Cameras Crews are Coming, so be Ready...

Stole this from Shannon, so no, there's no tagging on this and my blogger buds can do this at their own free will, should they choose to steal this from me...

Your Life: The Soundtrack

Opening credits:
Learning to Fly -- Tom Petty

Waking up:
Morning -- Al Jarreau

Average day:
Looking Out My Back Door -- CCR

First date:
More Than a Feeling -- Boston Band With a Very Unfortunate Name

Falling in love:
Reflecting Light -- Sam Phillips

Love scene:
Sign Your Name -- Terrence Trent D'Arby

Fight scene:
(I'm going to go with the whole "people getting all snarly with each other and rumbling, like West Side Story or The Outsiders" kind of fight rather than with the "Aww, wittle couple's in a bad, bad argument over who lost the remote control" kind of fight) Too Young to Fall in Love -- Motley Crue

Breaking up:
Love Bites -- Def Leppard

Getting back together:
Um, we broke up for a reason, I assume. Why are we getting back together?

Secret love:
These Arms of Mine -- Otis Redding

Life's okay:
Peg -- Steely Dan

Mental breakdown:
Trapped -- Bruce Springsteen

Running Down A Dream -- Tom Petty

Learning a lesson:
The Gal That Got Away/It Never Entered My Mind -- Frank Sinatra

Deep thought:
Piano Sonata No.8 in C Minor, Op.13 -"Pathétique": II. Adagio Cantabile -- Beethoven

Poison -- Bel Biv Devoe

Let's Groove -- Earth, Wind & Fire

Happy dance:
Lady (You Bring Me Up) -- The Commodores

Wonderwall -- Oasis

Long night alone:
Alone -- Heart (of course!)

Death scene:
Um, too morbid.

Closing credits:
Layla -- Derek & the Dominos....Hey, it worked in Goodfellas...

Now Strip Poker on the Other Hand....

From an
AP story on the Daily News' front page ridiculous ballyhoo on A-Rod playing poker.

Playing at such clubs is not illegal, though it can be against the law to operate them, the Daily News reported.

Rodriguez was not punished or ordered to stay out of the clubs, but commissioner Bud Selig was monitoring the situation and could intervene if necessary, the newspaper said, citing sources it did not identify.

Since I refuse to read the Daily News, I won't read their story, but COME ON. Playing underground poker in your free time warrants the commissioner to keep an eye on you? Huh? What does this have to do with playing baseball again? Where is the story here?

Get a fucking life, Daily News.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Glove Story

At first I was all happy to learn El Capitan had snagged himself another Gold Glove...and then I had this kind of guilty feeling because there were a few other guys who had a statistically better fielding season than DJ...and then I realized these were the same assholes who voted Rafael Palmiero the best first baseman for his whoppingly strenuous 28 games in the field or whatever so it's not like this is the word of god or something. Sportswriters. Ugh.

I think I'd rather have that fifth ring for DJ's thumb anyway. And I'm sure he'd say the same thing. So I'm just going to be glad that this will piss off some Yankee haters for awhile since they haven't had much to sink their teeth into the last few weeks. It must be so cold and lonely for them when that happens....