Sunday, December 30, 2007

Heartstrings Were Tugged, People

So, I watched the movie Once today, and while I'm not going to go all Oprah on you and give the plot away, I will say I was quite moved by it. The following is a clip from Letterman of a lovely song that's also performed in the movie. Go rent it, yousguys.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

It Can't End Soon Enough

Stealing this from Rana, as I usually end the year with wrap-up survey. June, we shall have to come up with our own super awesome questions to start 2008.

Where did you begin 2007?
In my old apartment with some people who tried to burn the place down while making S'Mores.

What was your status by Valentine's Day? My "status" was "happy" because Spring Training was beginning.

Were you in school (anytime this year)? The school of life, man (all year long).

Did you have to go to the hospital?
No. Grey's Anatomy has turned me off to them.

Did you know anybody who got married?
Carolyn married Rick, and Tonya married Brent. I came close to marrying my Kitchen-Aid mixer, but apparently that's not allowed.

Did you know anybody who passed away?
Not personally

Did you move anywhere? To my awesome spinster hut (my equivalent of a bachelor pad)/petting zoo in JC.

What sporting events did you attend? Eric's hockey games, the horse races, and some big, bright and loud place in the Bronx. That frustrating visit in October was quite dejecting.

What concerts did you attend? Stevie Wonder with Dexter and Vicki.

Describe your birthday?
Well, the party that preceded it was awesome, but the actual day itself, aside from being 80 degrees and sunny, sucked, as I came down with the flu because I had apparently turned 83 and not 30.

What's the one thing you thought you would not do but did in 2007?
Go to Cooperstown (thanks, D&V!). As a result, I got to honor all of baseball's greats and give the Bloody Sock the finger in person.

What has been your favorite moment(s)? Seeing the Pacific Ocean for the first time; being at A-Rod's 500th homer game (and being at the games preceding it, particularly the one with Ken's family in which the Yankees hit 8 homers. In the game.); Harry Potter Midnight Madness with Erica, then devoting pretty much the entire weekend to reading it.

Any new additions to your family?
Jen L. is joining Erica, Steph and me in our season-ticket family.

What was your best month?
Aside from Erica announcing that she was moving to Harlem, May was pretty great.

What music will you remember 2007 by?
"Sunny Afternoon," by the Kinks.

Who was your best drinking buddy? Jason, because I'm not sure I ended up at karaoke bars singing "Sloop John B" and "The Lady is a Tramp" with anyone else.

Did u make any friends?
Uh, when did Prince take over this survey?

Favorite night out?
Jesse's birthday, when we all got a little tipsy and had to run for the PATH, and Art's farewell drinks outing, which, hell yeah!

Overall, how would you rate this year? Two thumbs down. It had a few bright spots, but the plot introduced too many sucky moments for my liking.

Other than home, where did you spend most of your time? The supermarket.

Change your hairstyle? No, I changed my address, which is awesomer.

Do you have a New Year's resolution? To see the Yankees win the World Series this October.

Buy anything new from eBay? No, but it did come in handy when searching for kitchen tables.

Get married or divorced? I swear to god, I hope a teenager didn't make this up.

Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
I don't know what you're talking about. I think I was only bitter about some chick being voted off because the voices in my head told me to be.

Did you get sick this year? Literally and figuratively.

Been snowboarding? No, should I have?

Are you happy to see 2007 go?
Don't let the door hit you on the way out, beeyotch!

Been naughty or nice?
Nice. And any naughty behavior on my part was totally warranted.

Quotes of the Day

"The Bronx Zoo? It's the people you've got to watch out for there, not the animals." -- Production Guy Jeff, advising a tourist on the phone.

"Be good...or be good at it." Mona the Mets fan, saying goodbye to someone for the weekend.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

On Scripted Football and Feeling Like a Tackle Dummy

So, on the recommendation of, like, everyone, I am now watching Friday Night Lights. Holy eye candy, Batman! And the show itself is actually...good? I think I am shocked by this because I thought the movie, which I couldn't sit through, was pretentious and over-the-top (and I hate that they use it as an "Inspiration" montage at Yankee games. Hi, it's football and the Yankees play baseball. Or am I missing something? Testosterone, maybe?) The show seems more humanized without losing the football-y edge. And Kyle Chandler is better looking than Billy Bob Thornton, but that goes without saying.

Also, I love that I got the flu for my birthday and now a nice bad-ass head cold for Christmas. 2007? You can seriously bite me.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Quote of the Other Day

"They need more manly-man scents, like motorcycle exhuast." -- Man shopping with his daughter in Yankee Candle Company.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Westward, Ho!

Man, have I found a reason to fully adore Facebook outside of Scrabulous: Oregon Trail!!!! I am currently a wagon leader (as well as a passenger on Elizabeth, Vicki and Colette's Wagons) and it's just as awesome as it was on the Apple II in my fourth grade "computer lab." I mean, people still get sweet diseases like cholera (sorry, Rana) and measles (sorry, Vicki) and get lost (thanks for holding us up, Chris) and dysentery has now been replaced by "explosive diarrhea" (man, I hope it wasn't all that buffalo meat I killed for us, Colette).

I do miss hunting stick-figure "deer" though. It's a lot easier when your target is huge and you're using a mouse as a "gun" as opposed to the arrow keys or space bar or whatever we used before...

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Happy Holidays! And Shut Up, Curtass' Blog Post

As ridiculous as I think Curtass calling out Roger on the steroids thing is, I found this even more...ridiculous:

Schilling noted in the 3,200-word posting that he was a fan of the seven-time Cy Young Award winner who owed much of his success to a stern talking-to he received from Clemens when Schilling was a young pitching prospect.

3,200 words? To put that in perspective, note that my longest blog post ever, My A-Rod Magnum Opus of Defenditude clocked in at 2,719 words. And that took me several weeks to write.

But I guess when you are holier-than-thou you really do have a lot to say, you know?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

How Can You Name the Top 100 Songs of the 90s...

...and not have one song by Boyz II Men on it? Come ON, VH1. I mean, you couldn't escape "End of the Road" in 1992, with all its earnestness and oh my god we can't break up sentiments. I mean, I think it may have had a hand in getting A-Rod to realize he didn't want to break up with the Yankees. (In his 60 Minutes interview, they showed him in a batting cage listening to some really cheesy 90s song that escapes me right now, but made me bust out laughing at the time, so anything is possible.) And I think "I'll Make Love to You" was even more inescapable -- it was like No.1 for three months or something. That's a quarter of an entire year, and it's not represented?

Also, argyle and matching your outfit to your baseball hat and your fellow bandmembers and walking sticks are some things that should be celebrated. You know?

Watching this countdown has made me realize, however, that many of these songs never would've reached the airwaves today because some of the singers, who look like they're, gasp, pushing 30, would be deemed too old for the teen set and therefore unmarketable. I mean, I don't know how I made it through my teen years having to listen to people who were, like, 32 on death's door....


So, uh, I'm totally watching Clash of the Choirs. And despite the annoyingness of Maria Menounous and the semi-sappy nature of the show, I'm liking it. Sue me.

And if Patti LaBelle's jaw-droppingly awesome choir could follow me around and just sing for inspiration when needed, my life would rule.

Sunday, December 16, 2007


Katie Couric is the most unconvincing sports interviewer EVER.

Deep Thoughts For the Big, Bad Nor'easter

You know what I've noticed lately? That rebels may be just as sad as conformists. I work and spend a lot of time in New York City, the rebel/conformist mecca, so I've had time to observe both equally. When I see people trying really hard to be different (as I did tonight in Union Square -- and, sidebar, I've decided I hate any area of the city with the word "Square" in it, as they will usually be crowded as all get out and thus imposible to walk through), I wonder if they are doing it for themselves or to just not be like the conformists. Like, if the latter is the case, you're still not being yourself, and that's just as bad as anyone who tries to be like everyone else. I know, it's dizzying. But it would be nice if everyone could just like themselves for who they are, you know? /Pollyannaish ramblings.

Also, I've had a Michael Cera fix and saw Juno tonight. It was freaking adorable. And it has one of the best quotes of the year from film (or at least from the ones I've seen). It's uttered by Juno's dad, played awesomely by J.K. Simmons, when Juno asks him how people can stay together forever: "Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass."

That was kind of my theory on love anyway, so I'm glad someone else can back it up on celluloid.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Quotes of the Night

"It's like November Sweeps...and it's not even November!" -- Ken

"They look like they would have weird sex things." -- Ken again, on a couple from House Hunters International.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Bah Humbug, Indeed

Dear god, why are there so many versions of that craptacular song "My Grown Up Christmas List" out there right now? I swear, there are like 50 different artists who have jumped on the train to espouse this drek. I mean, the idea is nice and all, that you want peace on earth and goodwill toward men (although, it has been said already in other, much better songs, hasn't it?) but Jesu Christo is it one of the worst-written songs out there. Study the chorus:

No more lives torn apart
And wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list

That "And right would always win" is my favorite, favorite part, because, really, who is to say what is right and wrong? Like, if "right" were to "always win" in my book, the Yankees would have a World Series trophy every year. I think fans of the 29 other teams might beg to differ. Also, wishing love would never end is pretty priceless (in the blandest way possible) too. Are there no better ways to express these sentiments than with a bunch of rhyming words slapped together?

Considering I embrace Christmas and all the cheese that must come with it, I am a little surprised that I have little patience for this song. But then I remember all the good Christmas songs out there that actual, you know, rule, and don't sound as if they were slapped together by a bunch of stoned kindergarteners and I am okay with not liking it.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

How Can I Take The Mitchell Report Seriously...

...when two of the guys on the "leaked" list are DEAD? Ken Caminiti and Darryl, I hope they get what's coming to them.

Also disappointing is the number of retired players listed. Like, I'm sure Lenny Dykstra is shaking in his shoes right now.

But I do like saying "I told you so" about Clemens....

ETA: And the winners losers are..... I felt like Scarlett O'Hara scanning the list of the dead at Gettysburg for Ashley Wilkes' name. I'm glad to say no one I'm particularly attached to is on there (I love Andy, but this is what he gets for being Roger Clemens' toadie), but man is this list LAME. Tejada and Roberts seem to be the only current big-impact names on there. The rest reads like a bunch of D-list celebrities and "OMG! I NEED HIS BASEBALL CARD IT'LL BE WORTH SOMETHING...circa 1993." Methinks there was lots of covering up going on here, or that the A-list players just fly under the radar a lot better than their poorer counterparts. I'm sure Selig will pat himself on the back for getting to the bottom of this, and smoking them out of their holes or whatever. Seriously. Whatever.

Though it is very klassy that the dead guys weren't named on here, if they were ever under suspicion to begin with.

Also, I suspect that the Yankees announced the A-Rod deal today to take attention away from whatever Yankees got outed on that list. I highly doubt the $275 million contract even makes the backpages tomorrow though...


Since it's official now....

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Oh Christmas Tree(s)

So on Sunday, I went to get myself a real Christmas tree, as I'm not a fan of fake trees (and have nowhere to store one anyway), and when I got to the lot, the only trees that remained were giant Goliath-sized ones, which are not single-woman friendly. I mean, I'd have to get this thing home, up two flights of stairs and straight in the stand by my lonesome. You can't do that with a tree that out-weighs you. So I left the lot (the only one within walking distance of my apartment -- shyeah, not having a car sucks at that moment), feeling dejected that I may not have a tree to decorate for the first time in my 30 years.


Well, what should be waiting for me when I get to work today? A little tree (and bear) courtesy of Dexter and Vicki, who must've sensed my dejectedness when I mentioned my plight. It came complete with lights and tiny ornaments, and I had a fun time humming Christmas carols (in my 82.3 degree cube) and thinking that I seriously have the rockingest friends on the planet.

But I am a stubborn ass and was not yet ready to give up the notion of an apartment tree. I figured if I passed the tree lot again tonight (they get more trees in every now and then) and saw one in the right size, I would get it. And lo and behold, I find a tree about my height that I can pick up and carry if I hug it to me and ignore the sap dripping in my face. I got it up the stairs and it was light enough to get straight in the stand all by myself and it has yet to topple over on top of me, so at least for that. So now you get my annual shake-the-camera-and-see-what-you-get portraits.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

"I'm Making Lasagna...For One"

This one goes out to my blog homegirl June. And also, to me. Because I said so.

Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)

Because you can never have enough of wall keyboards. And Journey. Happy Tuesday:

Sunday, December 09, 2007

He's On a Rollerquotester

Quote of the Night: "It's like a...friendly gang. Like from 'Beat It'." -- Dexter, describing his large birthday-party posse as we gathered to walk from one bar to a karaoke bar.

Honorable Mention: That'd be a spirited Ken, referring to me in the course of a half hour as "The Messiah," "Yoda," "a genius," "the Beethoven of Guitar Hero" and saying that I should run for president, among other complimentary things (especially being dumbfounded that Rana, Erica and I are boyfriendless, when we have nice bosoms or something). Because while none of what he said of me is true (except maybe the Yoda part -- because backwards sometimes I like to speak) it's always nice to hear that someone thinks you're wise, when there are times you certainly don't feel all that wisdom-full.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Quote of the Night

"Oh come on. He can say 'Au revoir, Mama' and leave her sleeping in French while he sneaks out." -- Dexter, to Liana, on getting Eric to ditch his visiting French-Canadian mother to come out and play Guitar Hero.

Friday, December 07, 2007


The back of my watch popped off the other day, and I am currently doing without.

I am so, so lost without it.


Tuesday, December 04, 2007

BLARGH! The Revenge

I have a mouse.

Maybe for Christmas, I can find an alligator in my toilet.

Monday, December 03, 2007

BLARGH! Part Two

OH MY GOD. The centipede's carcass, which, as of yesterday, was where I left it, IS NOW GONE. And unless it has some Christ-like abilities, that means SOMETHING TOOK IT.

I'm officially frightened.

Bite Me, MLB Schedule Makers

So, if the Red Sox's schedule is correct, the Yankees will AGAIN have just one weekend series in the Bronx vs. the Red Sox (4th of July weekend) and THREE in Boston.

Can someone please explain to me what this is about? It's really pissing me and my Friday-night-ticket-holding self off.

And There Was Much Rejoicing

If you don't understand what this picture means…you just don't get it.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

A(nother) Day at the Races

Because you can't have enough of shady, growly men getting pissed off at horsies or overpriced bad food, Jason and I made another trip out to Aqueduct yesterday, because we were in search of some luck, man. Ken, who I met out after to celebrate his birthday, got excited at the thought that I might need an intervention, but then I explained that neither Jason nor I are going to be courted by a high-rollers club, or whatever the racetrack equivalent is, with our meager $2 bets and $4.10 winnings. Okay, Jason made more than that (he broke even. Not so much with his slice of pizza, though), but I did pretty poorly. Probably because I bet a lot of longshots in the hopes of scoring big or got behind horses with cool names (Yankee Chief, anyone?) But for some reason, despite all the shadiness and bad choices, I find the races soothing and enjoyable, probably because losing $20 on the day isn't going to get a shylock after me and I know when to call it a day. So, while a dramtic intervention in which goody-two shoes KB is the subject would be so, so cool, I will have to disappoint Ken on this one.

But the craziest part, which I'm becoming increasingly entertained and perplexed by, are the guys who lose and get all bent out of shape with the horse. Like, this one horse early on had been doing great in the beginning stages of his race, then fell out of contention near the end. Well, this gravely voiced, snot-hacking guy near us was all "Fucking prick number 7... Scumbag." Like, what is the horse supposed to do to make this guy feel better? Hop the fence and be all "Neigh, you want a piece of me? Neigh." and then the guy be like "Yeah, you just made me lose a month's pay, you Lasix-taking asshole" and then the horse would be like "Neigh, eat me" and a rumble ensues? I mean, here's a tip: the horse ain't the one who put the money down, pal. When you're betting on an animal these things happen. I mean, it gave us a good laugh, but god, you have to remember that these guys are taking it seriously enough to be cursing at a four-legged beast that craps while it walks. It's just kind of bizarre. But great blog material.

Anyway, afterward was Ken's dinner at this great Italian place that kept serving complimentary food, which left all of us skeptical New York-types to be like "what's this about?" and yes, it was indeed free. And then Steph, in her awesomeness, not only stealthily brought in cupcakes, but packaged them for everyone to take home. This is why we are friends.

Today? It's off for the annual TurDuckEn feast with the Hoboken Crew. Leftovers for everyone upon my return.