Thursday, July 31, 2008

Quote of the Night

He was pushing a cart and everything. At first I thought, wow, that lady is really jacked! Then he turned around and looked right at me.

We were in the cookie aisle.


-- Facebook Wall post from my friend LT, after spotting Sebastian Bach in the local Acme.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Quote of the Day

"They're waiting for justice!" Production Guy Jeff on the plantiff and defendant just standing there while everyone else runs:

How Does This Even Happen?

So, I'm "watching" the game on Yahoo, and when Baltimore's Adam Jones comes to bat, this is the picture that represents him:



In this day and age of digital photography, how does MLB stick this guy with such a horrible picture? This isn't 1987, where, if you had a bad school photo done, you had to wait six weeks for the re-shoot. I just checked out the Orioles' home page, and his pic is normal there, so what is Yahoo doing with this?

My mind is boggled.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Because the Night Belongs to... Drunkards?

So, remember how I was all concerned about choosing between the Yankee game or Mad Men last night? Well, that decision didn't even get to happen, because I got to go see Bruce Springsteen instead. I was literally finishing the last paragraph of the novel (well, the roughest of rough drafts, any way, but YES, I KIND OF FINISHED WRITING A BOOK), when Eric calls, and I'm thinking he's going to suggest watching the game together, since he and Liana are the only Red Sox fans who don't give me shit. But then he's all, "Do you want to go see Springsteen tonight?" and it was like 6:30, and I didn't even have to think about it, because, hell yeah!

And Bruce didn't disappoint (even if the Yankees did, which feh). He played for almost 3 1/2 hours (though, admittedly, we had to bail just before "Rosalita," because we were at the top most level of the parking garage and envisioned being there till 3 a.m. if we didn't beat the crowd), and Liana and Eric, who had never seen him in person before, were way impressed that he didn't even take a break.

The best part about seeing a Springsteen show? You will never see the same one twice. It was the third time I've seen him, and he awesomely busted out with "Growin' Up" and "Brilliant Disguise," which he hadn't done for me before. I could've done without six songs off of "Magic," seeing as how "Thunder Road" got snubbed and I STILL haven't heard "She's the One" or "Trapped" live, but that he included my sentimental fave "Bobby Jean" in the encore made up for that. And also, there is something WAY theraputic about singing "Badlands" and "Born to Run" (the latter of which kind of blew Eric away) with tens of thousands of people.

The worst part about seeing a Springsteen show? The fact that I don't think I've ever seen such sloppy, obnoxious drunks at any other concert. And it's kind of annoying when you have floor seats, on the aisle, and this obnoxiously drunken group has migrated up and is bouncing around next to you, to the point where one idiot bitch almost kills someone by throwing a beer bottle (and somehow security misses the whole thing) and the men in her group are too busy ogling her to reign her in. I think it has something to do with the fact that Bruce brings out everyone's inner 17-year-old, which is awesome, but I'm sorry, it does not give you license to act as if you can't handle your liquor like a 17-year-old. And I'm not just talking about young, 20somethings. Nay, the age range for this phenomenon spans well into people in their 60s. And you'll see the skankiest of skanks to the most yuppified Richie Rich acting this way. In short, I've never seen so many people unable to get past their high-school behavior in one place -- and I've dealt with the drunks at Yankee Stadium, y'all.

But as annoying as they are, it's relatively minor in comparison to the show you get. Bruce doesn't cheat with the whole "let me play you about a minute of one song and move onto the next" schtick that some artists do when they get older (ahem, Prince) and he pours every ounce of himself into the show. And he and the E Street Band STILL look as if they are just having a ball playing together (and sound fantastic as well). It's maybe the most bang-for-your buck concert experience you can have, and if you ever get a chance to see him, don't pass it up.

Even if it is Yankees/Sox and the Mad Men premiere is on.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Bruuuuce! I know!

Stormy Weather! Or, A Perfect Procrastination

One of the best things about my apartment is that I can watch storms roll in from my kitchen. Since 1) storms, for the most part, move west to east and 2) the building next door is shorter than mine, thus giving me a good view of the western horizon, I can tell when bad weather is coming long before it hits. Today, though, has been effing weird. It's been thundering intermittently for the last few hours, with ominous looking clouds rolling in (I swear to god I was expecting this one cloud to turn into a funnel over the Turnpike) but it's barely rained. I saw this mass lumbering toward the JC earlier this afternoon and was certain Armageddon was upon us:

IMG_2612

And nothing happened. For real, this cloud below was the one I was certain was going to dip down, form a funnel and blow the area to kingdom come, but it just drifted by, as if it had better things to do (thankfully):

IMG_2621

IMG_2623
Storm go bye-bye.

But I know this is just setting me up for what will no doubt be the thunderstorm to end all thunderstorms tonight at 10, when I will be trying to figure out how to watch the Yankee game and Mad Men at the same time (damn picture-in-picture doesn't work for some reason), and then lose power, thus negating any viewing debate...

Saturday, July 26, 2008

You MAY Want to Forget About This

So at both movies I saw last weekend, I was subjected to this JCPenney "homage" to The Breakfast Club. It's totally messed up. Like, the "weird" girl is NOT weird looking (and therefore making her "makeover," consisting of a little blush and a skinny headband, not even dramatic in the least), there are TWO girls represented as Claire, and let's not forget that the movie took place in detention and the commercial is... celebrating the first day of school.

I'm guessing a bunch of my peers thought this ad up with good intentions, but you can't Hannah Montana-fy The Breakfast Club. I'm sorry.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Quote of the Night

"So you think he's going to kill us? That's weird. Should we send him a bumper sticker or something?" -- My friend LT, on a new, unfamiliar Facebook friend, who I worried would kill me if I didn't befriend him, such is the bizarre nature of the Internet.

I'm 4 New York...To Never Bring This Nightmare Back to Life

Every time an Olympics rolls around, I am at the same time giddy and freaked out. Giddy because it's a sports dork's dream come true. Freaked out because I remember the following:



Yes, during the 1992 Summer Olympics, I remember this singing advertorial for WNBC coming on in the middle of every night's coverage. I remember my mom (who turns 60 tomorrow -- happy birthday, Mom!) leaving the room to go make a phone call or a sandwich whenever it came on. I remember being annoyed at not having cable and therefore not being able to switch over to the Yankee game (as sucky as they were back then). I remember being only 15 and thinking "MY GOD DOES IT HAVE TO BE ALMOST 4 MINUTES LONG?@&^$"

Like, for real. Did this commercial make you want to sit down and watch channel 4? Or did it make you want to hurt someone? I thought maybe 16 years would bring it from the realm of "awful" to "so awful it's awesome," but the sands of time have done little to make me nostalgic for it. In fact, I am terrified that a new, super deluxe version is going to get busted out two weeks from now when the Olympics start.

But I have cable to switch over to the Yankee games now. And holy crap is that a good thing.

(And the reason I found it is because I was remembering this health/sex-ed video they showed us in the 5th grade, which was hosted by one of the girls who played Annie -- and apparently the original Annie, Andrea Mcardle, is one of the singers to blame for this ad. Still haven't found the crappy puberty video they showed us, though...)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

It's Going to Be a Long Night



Maybe someday, someone can explain to me why the worst thunderstorms hit when people are trying to sleep. After getting woken up by a few big blasts at 5 a.m. (and then having an entire afternoon/evening storm free) I am now looking forward to some thundery wrath to keep me company as I try to catch some Zs.

Effing Mother Nature.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I Love Ya, Al Leiter...

...but I don't need to hear about blisters under calluses and you shaving down the calluses on your hand. My own hands are just recoiling at the thought.

Also, why does the scoreboard crew keep playing the whistling sound from the PC Richard's commercial when someone makes an out (I think it's during strikeouts, but I'm not really paying attention since I'm eye deep in the novel)? Did I miss a sponsorship or something?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

It's Been Too Long!

YES! Yahoo is back to giving insulting-to-both-sexes dating advice! Today? 15 Simple Ways to Keep Your (Lady) Partner Happy:

1. Rub her feet instead of asking her if she wants you to rub her feet. Make it look like you want to do it.

"Make it look like you want to do it." GOD. If it isn't coming from the heart, please, dude, don't bother.

2. Make her dinner one night. Don't ask her if she wants you to make dinner. Make her dinner before she gets home.

Because apparently it's still only men who don't know how to cook and the ladies are always putting on the apron and oven mitts because it's what we do. And, I'm sorry, this is one area of a relationship where I demand complete equality -- so making/ordering (because I realize not everyone is Bobby Flay) dinner ONE NIGHT is not going to cut it, Yahoo.

3. Light a candle so that she arrives home to a nice environment instead of coming home to the glaring lights of the television and other things.

Just one candle? Are we on Little House on the Prairie and wax/whale blubber is at a premium right now or something? Because one candle isn't going to get you very far in my apartment. And what other things have glaring lights in one's living space? Do we live in the middle of Times Square?

4. Send her a text in the middle of the day telling her "I miss your smile from this morning" or "Last night was amazing!" or "The conversation we had last night was great."

"I miss your smile from this morning"????? While I don't expect the Complete and Total Man to be Shakespeare, I would hope he wasn't an utter child in his sentiments, either. Because this column assumes you have been dating awhile and...man, I'd hope the texts would be a little more...tailored to our relationship? I don't know. I just know if some guy was missing my smile from this morning, I'd wonder why my smile on June 2nd wasn't as missable.

5.“Send an eCard in the middle of the day... something cute to remind her how much you really care about her.”

I would rather something from SomeECards, not something "cute," but to each his own.

6. If she's going on a business trip, offer to drive her to the airport or pick her up to make her life that much easier.

Wait. Okay, we're calling this person your "partner," meaning it's official and you are going out for an extended period. If it were me and my honey was going on a trip, I'd ASSUME I'm driving him and picking him up (well, if I had a car, anyway), because I love this person and this is the type of nice thing you just do in a relationship. So if a guy is "offering" to drive/pick me up only because he saw it in a relationship column, I'm going to be a little inclined to think he's a bit of a dick or an idiot, and therefore someone I wouldn't want to be with.

7. Let her have control of the remote control. Don't monopolize it for a change. Just give it to her and let her actually sit there and enjoying watching one of her shows. Then you can share one of her interests by watching it with her.

Oh. My. God. Is this STILL a stereotype, that men are cavemen who, by being men and therefore more inclined to the electronics side of life, are the controllers of what does and doesn't get watched on television? While I know couples who don't agree on shows, there's no rule saying they HAVE to watch TV together. Like, if I'm watching TV with a dude and I have the remote and it's just channel surfing time, I'm looking for something that interests both of us, which makes for better TV snarking. If there's a show that one of us likes but the other isn't interested in, you either suck it up and tough it out and watch or go to another room. This is just a fact of life, that you aren't always going to like the same shows. I wouldn't expect a guy to watch House Hunters, just as I'd hope he wouldn't make me watch....well, I'm actually pretty easy when it comes to TV, but if I wasn't interested, I'd read a book or blog or something. GOD.

8. Offer to iron one of her shirts or take her clothes to the dry cleaner.

I can actually get behind this one, because there is no sexist overtones and it assumes men can iron and that it's not a fun chore, so help your lady friend out. Score one measly point for Yahoo...

9. Clean up the bathroom without being asked. Don't just sit there and ignore the mess around the toilet. If you know it drives her crazy to see water splashed all around the sink, dry that area after you use it.

...and take that point away! CLEAN UP THE BATHROOM WITHOUT BEING ASKED? What am I dating, a five-year-old? While I it's a bone of contention with couples who live together where one is anal and one is not, why is it assumed that MEN are the messy ones and WOMEN are the task masters? Seriously, I've seen women who can deal with more quote un quote mess than a man can. Also, WHAT is this "mess around the toilet"? Do I want to know?

10. If you work out together, enjoy it with her instead of rushing through your own workout and then not letting her workout at the same time.

The words "work out" were used far too many times (and incorrectly -- I am a copy editor, people, and to "work out" is two words, where "workout," the noun, is one) in this sentence and thus confused the hell out of me. Though I will say, if a guy is not "letting" me work out at the same time as him, we've got bigger problems than our health.

11. Take a shower together, then wash her hair, scrub her back, and give her a spa treatment. Do this and enjoy it!

"Give her a spa treatment"? What does that even MEAN? Like, it could mean so many different things, depending on the spa, and this is not an area where I would want my man to have a vague description...

12. The next time she gives you a massage, give her a massage the next day. Offer it! Don't just say you'll give her a massage...do it!

Why is there a one-day waiting period on this? And why only after she gives you one? Why can't you just surprise her with one? Man, the last three ideas have left me shell shocked in their random weirdness.

13. Surprise her by making plans. Tell her, "We're going out tonight honey." You can even just go out for a drink or dinner somewhere. It's taking the initiative that's important.

While I'm inclined to agree that surprises are nice, I'd rather the dude say "Let's go out tonight," thereby implying that YOU have some choice in the matter. Because the "We're going out tonight" sounds as if he's clubbing you on the head and dragging you to a bar or something.

14. Decide on and set aside one night a week as date night. Have a date like when you first started dating.

Man, they REALLY needed 15 tips just to slide the big old cliche one in there, didn't they?

15. Call her in the middle of the day and just say hello. Don't wait for her to call you.

See, here's where a generic list of things to apply to the many, many women out there is bad. Because if you call me in the middle of a Monday, Thursday or Friday, there's a good chance I'm busy as hell and as nice a sentiment as a "hello there, my lady friend" is, you're going to get greeted with a "Can I call you back later? I'm trying to figure out all the ages of Brangelina's kids."

Saturday, July 19, 2008

KB, Book Pusher

I have a challenge for you, dear readers. The next time you're in a book store, find your way over to the Young Adult section -- I promise, no one will think you're a child molester or that your IQ is low -- and pick up Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan. When I say it may be one of the best books I've read in the last five years, I totally mean it. And when you read it, I promise, you will NOT think it's a kids' book (the cursing and sexual situations kind of make you forget the characters are 18). And it's relatively (and kinda sadly) short. But completely absorbing and for a person who is no longer a young adult, but an adult adult, you can STILL relate to it. I promise.

Also, do it before the movie comes out in the fall, because while Michael Cera (squee! June!) is going to be in it, I'm not sure this can translate to the screen so well, since it's the awesomely believable narration that carries the book.

And when is the last time I actually recommended a book on this blog? Yeah, go get it, people.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Friday I'm in Shock

Did that actually happen? I mean, did they really and truly win a game I attended? Please forgive my shock, as it was only the third win I've seen in person this season, and what month is it? Oh, right, JULY. But it was a nice, comfortable game for once (the weather... not so much), where the pitching was in control and there were two-out runs scored and stuff like that. And it wasn't even stressful with the surroundings. Which is, what, the second game in a row where someone didn't threaten to burn the Yankee Journal or sexually harass us or bring a coven of drunk, bitchy, obnoxious friends who care more about screaming into their cell phones than watching the game? I know, I'm blown away, too.

It starts a bit "inauspiciously" when Steph mentions that we are being joined by "Gavin McLeod" in our row. What's that, you say? Captain Stubing himself was at a Yankee game?


Yankees fan?

No! But Gavin McLOUD sure joined us. This was the fabulous nickname Steph bestowed upon the loudmouth A's fan sitting next to us, who thankfully shut up with his jeers/cheers of delight when the Yankees did something bad after the Yankees took the lead.

We also had a loud woman behind us, but in a different way. Like, she obviously was more into the cheering of the team on instead of the team itself, but she was very encouraging. For example, when Moose would have two strikes on a batter, she'd yell at him in English and Spanish, saying things like "Do this, Papi!" And "I love you!" And considering I've never seen Moose as a "Papi" I found this oddly endearing. And when Sad Clown comes up, she's all "You can do it! Hit it out of the park!" and I'm all "Has she seen Cano lately?" but I swear to God on the next pitch, he wallops it beyond the fence, and we're all like "whoa."


Yankees fan?

I myself, take a turn with a home run prediction, when A-Rod comes to bat and I point at him and I'm like "He's going to hit one out" and he totally does! In his next at-bat! But still!

Steph also rules in this game, not only for bringing chocolate-chip cookies (which were almost like being out of the oven in that the chips were all soft because of the Hades like weather) but also for bringing me a surprise pretzel when I needed it most. And I have to give props of the culinary kind when they are due.

Oh, and yeah, I'm completely disappointed in Andy Pettitte and Bobby Abreu for not knowing any Smokey Robinson & The Miracles songs. Like, it was as if they were presented with a question of quantum physics during Sound Man tonight, such was their uncomfortableness with admitting they didn't know "Shop Around," "Tears of a Clown" or "I Second That Emotion" (Steph would've went with "The Tracks of My Tears" as I a write-in and I was pulling for the imaginary choice of "You've Really Got a Hold on Me"). Tsk, tsk, fellas, and go watch one of those Time Life Music infomercials on Motown Mania or whatever the 126-CD set is called these days and get yourselves educated.


Yankees aren't fans?

Also great is the fact that Steph and Jen (who thankfully didn't get eaten by a shark or mauled by wildlife on her trip to South Africa) both agree that My Boys is pretty WTF? this season. For real -- I don't know how a show can do such a 180 (okay, more like a 80, but still) during its hiatus, but it's succeeded in doing that and I'm very much disappointed in it thus far. Boo.

Anyway, a good game to come back from the Break. I hope they keep this up, because a girl could get used to having pleasant Stadium experiences and be inspired by them. Or something.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Anatomy of A Pulled-Out-of-the-Ass Story

From Yahoo's front page today, via the NY Post.



Notice how the BIG DEAL is that none of his teammates showed up. Keep this in mind when you get to the Derek Jeter item. Anyway, onto the story itself.

Alex Rodriguez's teammates must wish they could divorce him too. "He's become a huge distraction with the Madonna fiasco," a source told Page Six. "It's always all about him."
Betcha the "source" was another tabloid reporter. Or a paparazzo. I'm just guessing here. Because I'm not sure I'd pin the word "fiasco" on any Yankee, unless it was Mike Mussina reading off a crossword answer.

That explains why none of his fellow Yankees went to the All-Star bash he hosted at Jay-Z's 40/40 Club Monday night.
Also, the fact that the All-Star break is when most players LEAVE TOWN TO GO TO THEIR OFF-SEASON HOMES. But let's just ignore that for a moment, because we've got a deadline here.

Over at Marquee, the more likable Derek Jeter...
Come again? Liked more by whom? And keep this in mind when you see the guest list...

...threw a bash filled with pals like Billy Crystal and Michael Jordan. Jeter also brought his latest fling, Minka Kelly. They came in separately, but a spy said they were "very much together on the dance floor."
Aaaaand where are his Yankee teammates if he is so much more likeable than A-Rod?? Right.

Meanwhile, Mets third baseman David Wright hosted a Vitamin Water party at Hudson Terrace, where Blake Lively, Penn Badgley, Paul Rudd and Yankee pitcher Joba Chamberlain listened to a midnight performance by 50 Cent.
Joba eschews the parties of both teammates to go to a party of a crosstown rival, but what the hey, there's nothing newsworthy in that. Also note: none of David Wright's teammates are mentioned as being at his party, unless the cast of Gossip Girl has been responsible for the Mets' recent bust-out streak and I'm unaware of it.

This, my friends, is how no news becomes news. And it's fucking retarded. But these are the times we live in....

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

And it Didn't Get Rained on, Either!

Picture 1

Rick is on a roll with the search terms lately...

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Blogging From the All-Star Parade (Now With Photos!)

When a parade of Hall of Famers and All-Stars marches by your office on your slowest work day of the week, you take advantage of it. The photos (which I'll have to load later) are going to kind of suck because of the window reflections, but the written reflections will translate. I hope.

Don't Fall!

12:45: All traffic has been stopped on Sixth and people are now lining up on the other side of the carpet. It's funny to look across the street and see the people at the windows of the other buildings. Production Guy Jeff and Rana have yet to strike up an across-the-street friendship with the fellow Mets fans (all decked out in Mets gear) in the opposing window.

Office view 2

12:55: Rana goes down to be part of the masses, in search of a perfect pic of David Wright for her brother. I am staying in the AC.

1:02: The first band goes by. Rana can't see me.

1:07: Yogi and Whitey on the first float go by, people cheer.

Yogi & Whitey (via Rana)
Yogi & Whitey, who is looking at Rana. (photo by Rana)

1:09: I really wish I worked in a more sports-minded office.

1:16: Bob Feller and Robin....Roberts go by. Deep breath.

1:10: Dave Winfield goes by, or as Jason, the only other person besides Production Guy Jeff who knows players, says "I just saw Dave Winfield scratch his crotch."

1:21: Jason likes Lou Brock's wife's pants.

1:23: Paul Molitor and Robin...YOUNT (sans Robinade) wave and point and I hope Rana got a closeup. Jason laments that The Yount's stache is a little too trimmed, but is happy to note that both Paul and Robin have blonde, big-boobed wives.

Robin Yount (via Rana)
The stache! (photo by Rana)

1:30: Rod Carew and some very busty blonde woman that I want to think is his grandaughter but everyone else thinks is his wife, goes by. This also brings up a random editor's quote of "3,000 hits, two fake..." you know.

1:32: Wade Boggs and Eddie Murray go by...sharing a wife? Wade imitates riding a horse, and I have to explain the signifigance. At least, I hope I knew what that meant.

Boggs Horse
Totally looks like he did on Oct. 26, 1996.

1:36: "This is America. I love it," one of our British editors (sincerely).

1:40: Hank Aaron gets voted best dressed.

Hank Aaron (via Rana)
Hammerin' Hank, the best-dressed Hall of Famer. (photo by Rana)

1:45: "He's Lee MacPhail by name, but not by nature," another British editor.

1:47: Jason is wayyyyyy disappointed that Ryne Sandberg has let himself get old.

Ryne Sandberg (via Rana)
A... busted?... Ryne Sandberg. (photo Rana)

1:51: Terry Francona comes by and gets booed.

1:56: I scare one of our editors by knowing a little too much about Derek Jeter's family (who is in the car with him).

2:01: A-Rod goes by and half the office runs over.

A-Rod (via Rana)
Rana said people were yelling "Madonna" and "Kabbalah" at him. (photo by Rana)

2:15: KB: "Jason, it's Josh Hamilton!" Jason: Jumps up, "Ooh, maybe I can buy some crack!"

2:22: LOU PINELLA! My 6-year-old self is so psyched.

2:33: Brian McCann goes by too fast to get a pic for Erica. Like, they're all flying by right now.

2:36: Rana comes back up, all pissed that David Wright zoomed by.

Rana
Rana, getting dissed.

3 p.m.: I finally go out to get lunch, and as Lance Berkman goes by, I hear a very New Yorkish voice say "That's a good bawlplayah right here."

3:10: Willie Mays goes flyyying by, as does the World Series trophy (thank god -- didn't need to spend much time seeing that) and it appears as if it's all over.

Pics to come later. Rana got some excellent shots from her vantage point, so I fully intend to steal some...

ETA: Some awesome photos from Rana:

David Ortiz (via Rana)
Papi, looking like he's about to take his yacht out.

Ichiro Suzuki (via Rana)
Ichiro, looking way cool.

Joe Girardi (via Rana)
Joe G., with the fam.

Dennis Eckersley (via Rana)
Dennis Eckersley, whom Rana thought looked like Sonny Bono. I just love that his hair is still stuck in the 80s.

Reggie (via Rana)
Reggie, whom Rana awesomely recognized from "The Naked Gun."

Quote of the Day

"I piss in my own Cheerios." -- Production Guy Jeff, who is intent on raining on our parade today.

An Afternoon of Geekdom Begins



Squee!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Search Term of the Day

Because Rick is a magnificent bastard like that:



But then Rick won't be with me during the parade tomorrow, so I guess we're even.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

For Real?

So I'm like way slow on this, but did Pete Abraham really say this in a blog during the Yankees/Padres game a few weeks ago? (It's a rhetorical question, I know he said it -- I'm just kind of incredulous, which is why I'm not linking to it):

UPDATE, 11:25 p.m.: Like I said, Wilson Betemit (3 for 4, two runs scored, one RBI) stinks.

By the way, instead of a Hard Rock, the new Stadium needs to have a moat filled with giant snakes. That way they’ll have someplace to throw the guy who bangs on the pan. Is this New York or Arkansas?


For one, "the guy who bangs the pan"? This dude is a beat writer, spends a way significant amount of time at Yankee Stadium and he has no idea that the institution to whom he is referring goes by the name of Freddy? And that it's usually fans hitting the pan, not Freddy himself?

For two, SERIOUSLY? Dude, what the hell?

And I just did a google search and turned up this from his blog in April:

UPDATE, 10:06 p.m.: I’m listening to the game on the radio while I do my expenses from the last trip and some other stuff. Here’s my question: Why do they let the “Freddy Sez” guy into the Stadium who bangs on the pan? As John and Suzyn are talking, this guy is pounding away like he’s trying to send Morse Code to Mars. Does this annoying sound add to anybody’s enjoyment of the game? I don’t get it.

How is the very far-away, intermittent sound of a spoon hitting a pan anymore annoying than the the organ starting up the "Charge!" chant, or say, Waldman and Sterling on the whole (god, give me the pan over those two any day)? It's not like he sits there banging on the pot the entire game, or bringing in an entire percussion section. I don't even notice it anymore -- geez, the more I think about this the more I can't believe I'm actually having to defend an old man who does nothing but want to bring a little luck and cheerfulness to the ballpark. Also, why did he know his name in April but not in June?

So, yeah, shut up, Pete. For real. Freddy Sez is one of the awesomest parts of the Stadium experience. If you're gonna hate on him, you may as well hate your grandma, grandpa, Santa Claus and The Yankee Chicken. And that just means we are not cool.

The Good Ones Always Go Too Soon

Just heard the extremely sad news about Bobby Murcer. He, like Phil Rizzuto, was one of the first broadcasters to make baseball accessible to me -- i.e., he made it more of a human game instead of a macho, stats-y, all-boys club sort of thing. He knew how to joke and take a joke (his playing in Old Timer's Day a few years ago, while being miked up to the booth, was one of the funniest things I've seen, in a day that's always so steeped in "tradition.") He just always sounded happy to be there, like he enjoyed his job and therefore made you enjoy it too. That type of undeniable likeableness is rare in people, and judging by the reactions of those who knew him, it seems like that's how he was outside the booth and it wasn't some kind of act.

Joe Girardi (whose honest, tearful reaction was one of the more moving things I've seen as a Yankee fan) said it best: "Bobby was just the type of man who got what life was about and that was trying to make life better for people around him."

Somehow, I think that's a very high, yet very wise standard to live by.

Woo!

It's official:

MyFoxNY.co, -- On Tuesday, July 15, 2008, Major League Baseball is sponsoring a red carpet parade on 6th Ave in celebration of the annual All-Star Game.

The parade will start at 1 p.m. The route is as follows: North on 6th Ave from 40th St. to 58th St., East on 58th St. to Plaza St., North on Plaza St. into Central Park. The parade is scheduled to end at 3 p.m.

The following street closures will be in effect:

* 40th Street between Madison Avenue and 6th Avenue will be closed from 10 p.m. Monday until 4 p.m. Tuesday.
* On 6th Avenue between 40th Street and 58th Street, the three western lanes will be closed from midnight Monday to 6 p.m. Tuesday. The three eastern lanes will be closed from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tuesday.
* 58th Street between 6th Avenue and Plaza Street will be closed from midnight Monday to 6 p.m. Tuesday.
* 40th Street between 6th Avenue and Broadway will be closed from noon to 4 p.m. Tuesday.
* 47th and 48th Streets between 6th Avenue and 7th Avenue will be closed from noon to 4 p.m. Tuesday.

You know what this means? Live blogging from the parade in the office!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Just Another Day at The Office (Or at Everyone Else's Office, if Chick-Fil-A is Concerned)

Things making my head spin today:

-- Chick-Fil-A visiting every friend's office but mine. (To which Production Guy Jeff tried to make Rana and I make a Sophie's choice involving different Chick-Fil-A and Wanted scenarios. Which... no contest)

-- Robin Yount's Robinade (To which Jason imagined chasing down Robin on his float in the parade next week, being all "Robiiiiin, please sign this!" and Mona the Mets Fan had no idea who he is. Tsk, tsk. And Tonya reports that she has not seen it in Wisconsin yet. Which makes this a new mission of sorts.)

-- That the lyrics to "The Gambler" have made it into our in-house style guide.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Quote of the Day

"Affair of the heart....isn't that a Rick Springfield song?" -- Production Guy Jeff on the Madonna/A-Rod situation. (And the best part was that he actually sang the line "It's an affair of the heart" when we all looked at him blankly for a moment)

And yes, yes it is:

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Hooray for Blogger Buds!

So I had the pleasure of meeting the fab Beth tonight, which makes me 4-4 in meeting bloggie buddies -- i.e., you meet a friendly, normal person you have stuff in common with, and no one ends up dead in a vacant lot, like you hear happening when people meet through MySpace and whatnot. Blogger has been so much more civilized for me. Anyway, It's awesome to meet someone whose work you've been reading for a few years now and getting backstory to fill in the blog posts. When people complain that technology is the downfall of society, I have to point out that I've "met" and met some awesome people through the blog format, and I can tell you it sure as hell wouldn't have happened through being pen pals.

Blogging: It's a beautiful thing, y'all.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Good Help is Easy to Find

Aside from Jon Miller's initial call of the winning hit, that had to have been the most blasé announcing I've ever heard for a walk-off extra-inning victory. Shut up, ESPN.

But I didn't have to mute Jon and Joe once tonight. I don't think that's happened, like, ever....

And hooray for Gardner! Between him and Fahhhnsworth (aka The Butler), I'd say "the help" had a pretty good game.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

The "Rock Bottom" Game

No, that title doesn't really have anything to do with the Yankees themselves (though I guess it kind of sums them up right now too) as much as it has to do with our experience at today's game. And yet, it still ended up being maybe the most hilarious outing I've ever had at the Stadium. Because:

-- The crowd was REALLY amped to be there today in the early going (nice job in being the wet blanket, Yanks). I think it was a combination of it being Yankees/Sox, some really nice presentations to war veterans before the game, the knowledge that it was a day off and the fact you got to be involved in a uniquely American activity on the utmost American holiday: baseball. And the realization of just how lovely a game it can be...when your starting pitcher isn't left in too long.

-- Erica may have been accosted on the way to the game in upsetting fashion, but she made it out okay and has a really, really awesome line to break out at dinner parties and such from now on.

-- I'm not sure I've ever sat in such wetness (and Jesus CHRIST, why did it take so long for the tarp to be brought out?), but it makes rallies seem all the more dramatic and mythical, you know? Too bad they didn't work out. And when the Yankee rally fails in the 7th (that we can barely see through the sheets of rain pouring down), and there's streams of water spilling off my umbrella, Steph turns to us and is like "Two words: rock. bottom." And really, considering our luck at Friday night (and now day) games, it's pretty appropriate.

-- Steph wore white shorts today and her now-unlucky Damone shirt bled all over them, making purple splotches. My shorts were soaked through and the right side of my shirt was drenched. To the point where we use the rain delay to buy some new clothes at the Yankees store. Never had a wardrobe change at a game, so...

-- We actually had guys sitting around us who were drunk and...friendly. Like, that still happens? I mean, the one dude in front of us had been drinking for like 24-hours straight or something and was a little chatty, but his friends kept apologizing for him, and by the time the deluge came in the 7th inning and the Beatles' "Fixing A Hole" came on and everyone's dripping wet and singing along, it's like we're old pals. We even join in their "Let's go Yankees!" chants when no one else will. I'm wondering why it took four years to find friendly, non-confrontational jackholes in our immediate area.

-- And the best part of the game? Oh, that comes when almost everyone has left, but the people who remain are still in this bizarrely awesome giddy state. Including the Marlboro Man, who decides it's time to start dancing like a lunatic in the vacated rows below us. Some little kid even joins him and it's all going swimmingly, until Marlboro Man somehow loses his footing on the wet cement and goes tumbling down about seven rows of seats. In slow motion, like that scene in The Untouchables, of course. I sincerely thought there was going to be lots of blood and literally pulled my hat down over my eyes, because I was that convinced it wasn't going to be pretty. But we all get the courage to look and Marlboro Man dazedly gets up and goes and gets checked out inside, with the help of a cop (who may or may not have been laughing) and for some reason, we all can't stop laughing. I mean, we are in no way bitches who find humor in someone else's misfortune, but I think the relief that we didn't witness someone die in the Tier just made us extremely giggly, and I don't think we stopped for the rest of the game. My abs still hurt from laughing so hard. And Marlboro Man came back out and was all "Yeaaaah!" and alive, so it was all good.

But yeah, we stayed till the last out. We always do. It's beginning to feel like we've been hazed the last four seasons or are stuck in some kind of Yankee-fan purgatory for all the crap we've dealt with on Fridays. So maybe today's drenching was like a baptism of sorts, and we now are totally justified in asking that things only get better on Fridays.

Like, by the next Friday game, preferably.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Wet pants! yeah!

Of Thee I Blog

On this July 4th, I'd like to refer to one of the more moving scenes from HBO's John Adams, where the vote for independence is taken. I think my favorite part is the "woah, shit" silence that decends on the room after the vote. It's pretty awesome.



"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Maybe some of the best words ever written (and kinda makes you wonder what kind of blogger would Thomas Jeffeson be?). 232 years ago, some dudes in wigs thought everyone should be able to go out and do their thing without being persecuted for it, which is a pretty fantastic notion when you think about it.

So I will keep that in mind at the game today when some Sux fans undoubtedly start pissing me off...

Wanted: More James McAvoy, Please

Man, am I glad I skipped the hellacious Yankee game this evening. 1) Because it just looked awful and 2) Because I saw the most satisfying (albeit bloody) movie I've seen all year in the theater: Wanted. I only had an interest in it because James McAvoy is HOTTTTT (June, I find myself wondering if you find him toothsome as well?), but I came out of the theater with Rana and we were both like "OMG" and feeling utterly empowered. And also, we both wanted to kick some ass. And we both thought James McAvoy was HOTTTTTT.


Mind. In. Gutter.

Minor spoiler: At one point, there's a line that says "Every job has a weapon." It left me wondering what a copy editor's weapon is. The AP Style Book? The delete sign? The knowledge of which cities need states after them in datelines?

Hmm.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

WTF With the Wave?

I am sickened that the last two nights at Yankee Stadium, the crowd has been more into making the perfect Wave than the tight ball game going on before them.

Seriously, I almost just puked when I saw it going around with the GAME TIED AT 2 and the Rangers threatening. GOD.

And you know what makes it worse? These are the type of people who will get to leave a game with a win, whereas I, who pays attention and gives a crap about the game, gets stuck with freezing ass weather and 13-1 losses.

I hate people.

In Which I Heart My Workplace Even More

So, like, ever since our office moved to Sixth Avenue, I've pretty much bad-mouthed our new space. It's beyond freeeeeezing, there's way too much fluorescent light, and it's a little too open for my taste. Pretty much, we all miss the old space (except for the insane heat and the ancient bathrooms). But today? Well, today I'm watching the Yankee game and hear Michael Kay talking about this All-Star Game pre-parade that will go up Sixth Avenue, complete with Hall of Famers and All-Stars. I then jumped onto the internet to confirm this (because we all know Mike likes to exaggerate on certain things), and sure enough, MY OFFICE IS RIGHT ON THE PARADE ROUTE.

Like, people will be outside, sweltering on the street, and I will be in my way too cold office, enjoying the scene from four flights up, with a blanket wrapped around me.

YES! This is why I wanted to work in New York to begin with!


ETA -- Now I have to hold my horses on my excitement. Two MLB.com stories today have conflicting parade routes. One says 40th-58th Streets (which is my 'hood) and the other says 48th-58th. Considering they've been touting this as nabbing over 1 million spectators, I'd hope it's over an 18 block stretch and not a 10 block one. Sigh.

ETAA -- From MLB's schedule of events: • All-Star Game Red Carpet Parade presented by Chevrolet at Bryant Park/Sixth Avenue, 1 p.m. Fingers crossed, people!