Friday, October 31, 2008

Can the Swamps of Jersey be in the Pine Barrens?

So Steph informed me today that Bruce Springsteen has a free downloadable song on his site today called "A Night With the Jersey Devil." I was hoping the Jersey Devil would be working as a gas station attendant who is down on his luck -- but eternally hopeful -- and then would maybe take a trip to the boardwalk with the other kids who are feeling the strains of teenage rebellion. Of course, they would take their motorcycles down some highway or another, but not before picking up the Jersey Devil's girlfriend, who is a sassy kind of bitch (but lovable) with strict parents who don't understand. A new day would dawn with a beachside sunrise, after an evening of some beers and mild debauchery. In New Jersey.

But, alas, this night with the Jersey Devil is juuuust a little different.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Quotes of the Night

I don't know if was the delicious pot roast Liana prepared or the drinkage provided or the fact that we sat around an actual dining room table - with matching chairs - and china with silverware (and lets not forget Eric's treasured cognac glasses), but the quotes were in full effect tonight.

Liana: "The caterer charged us because they were missing eight napkins. We don't know where they went." Vicki: "Well, one of them caught fire."

"Can we get back to discussing Sarah Palin's wardrobe?" - Dexter, when the conversation turns to nitty gritty financial aspects.

"I'd wish my name on you like I'd wish you a case of diarrhea," Eric reassuring Liana about not taking his oft-mispronounced last name.

"There was the Great Migration, the Great Depression and...the Great Thing." - Eric, paraphrasing Dexter

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Hmm

I'm not sure one should sing "Oh Sherrie," "Oh, Darling!" "Everybody's Talkin'" and "We Are the World" back-to-back but I suspect my throat will forgive me in the morning. It was all in honor of Production Gal Amy's b-day anyway. And on a Tuesday, no less.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

KB: Not a Fan of the Kindle

So my mom was telling me that yesterday Oprah was ravvvvving about the Kindle. I mean, of course she would. She loves every newfangled thing out there that you have to have money to spare to buy. Anyway, I just wanted to go on record as saying I don't think I will ever warm up to the idea of this contraption. I mean, it's fab for text-book reasons (as my mom said, kids won't be all hunchbacked from having to lug extra books around), it sounds like books would be cheaper (but this is bad news for writers, and since young adult writing is already a crappy paying field, I guess I can forget paying off my student loan right-quick if I ever do get published) and it does save some trees in the process. But I've seen this thing on the subways and stuff and...I don't want to curl up with it. Or do anything with it, for that matter.

Here's the thing -- I sit at and read on a computer ALL DAY at work. I come home and use a laptop to write and surf the internet. When I read a book, it's for pleasure, to ESCAPE the computer, and I cannot imagine having to look yet ANOTHER screen to get my fix. Also, I like having my books I like on display on a bookshelf. And I like taking them outside without having to worry about the elements damaging them. And I like bookstores and libraries, which I fear may become obsolete if this thing suddenly becomes all the rage (because you'd be downloading this stuff online, like music...which I guess means you won't be able to easily loan books to friends anymore). Basically, I like books.

I remember one of the speakers who came to my writing class said she'd read an article about how these things were expected to take off and be the next big thing. I remember my classmates (all lovers of the written word) thought they would still prefer a solid book in front of them. I'm firmly in this camp.

I wonder what you, blog readers, think?

Um. Wow. I Mean.



Is Michael Phelps even wearing shorts? (And is there a longer clip of this available? It's just...too much to take in one thirty-second span)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Quote of the Day

"I don't want my VP to shop at Chicos." -- Minju the Freelancer (I think Tonya will agree).

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Spreading the Yankee Chicken Love on the Interwebs

Dudes! I got The Yankee Chicken on Facebook! Yes, after months of telling me "Yankee Chicken" didn't sound like a valid name (tsk!), they finally accepted... Yanqui Chiken. Many of you probably received emails asking to befriend this "person". So do it, unless you want to give him a complex. And if I didn't email you (it only allowed me to suggest 20 peeps), do a search for him! Just do it!

In Which They Were ALL Wrong

Now, I know it's pretty pointless to predict a 162-game baseball season and then the playoffs on top of that, especially when Ms. Cleo isn't among your psychic baseball analysts. But this World Series? No one on ESPN.com saw coming:

Picture 1
Picture 2

I just thought it was pretty awesome that the Phillies and Rays weren't even on the "experts'" radar six months ago, is all.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Quote of the Day

"I'm seriously going to get bumped off the road by a bale of hay." -- Tonya, as she's driving in Iowa.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Dear Office

I have to say that I've really enjoyed your first three episode efforts thus far. However. Can you kindly knock-off the fan-wanking with Jim and Pam? I mean, I know the JAM fans will be calling for your head on a platter if you don't show them being all gooey with each other at least once an episode, but tonight's simultaneous voice-mail-leaving was corny and fake-sounding as fuck and this show has always done their relationship (and all relationships on this show, for that matter) better than that, rough patch or not. It's like you took some fan-fiction and made it into an end tag -- please never do this again.

But please DO keep up everything else and don't listen to the bitter JAM fans who are now about to throw themselves off roofs because they think the couple is on the verge of a breakup. You're a wonderfully smart show and shouldn't be catering to the wants and needs of a few thousand psychos.

Love,
KB

Shut Up, Fox

So I just heard about how Fox asked MLB if they'd mind pushing their start time back to accomadate Barack Obama's half-hour political ad during what could be Game 6 of the World Series. I see people blaming Obama for this, but, seriously, the blame lies squarely with Fox, who knew their schedule (or you would hope they did) and what it could possibly tangle with. And don't give me the whole "It's only 15 minutes" because...well, I'll get into that in a minute.

None of you are surprised by this, because you see what network is involved here (except that they're actually carrying something from a Democrat on their major network). They put MLB on the spot -- because, seriously, what are they going to say? If they say they don't want to move the start time back, they look like 1) They are anti-Obama (although I'm sure this could seem like a pro-Obama move, which is problematic when you consider a sport SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TAKE A POLITICAL STANCE) and 2) They aren't in support of the more "important" doings of the election (I'd actually agree that it was more important if it were a debate or something of that ilk, but an ad that's being aired on two other networks? No.) I guess they figured dealing with the ire of the fans is easier to take than being dragged into the political headlines.

This is Fox hedging its bets and kind of screwing over the fans in the process. It's Game 6, which may not happen, so therefore alternative programming has to be scheduled. But you are committed to the World Series, which I think means you have a responsibility to put that first, so why even involve yourself with this when two other networks are already carrying it? This isn't like Fox is showing some great political integrity here, giving the public its only access to this political happening. Can't you just throw in a re-run of House or something if the game doesn't air? Oh, no. You have to have the big ratings! And you have to look "fair and balanced" (which...don't even get me started if this is their version of that)! Silly me.

Also If this were any other network (i.e. TBS, who did a wonderful job this post season), I'd be a little less pissed about this. Except Fox is famous for its 22-minute pregame show, which means, unless they suddenly sport some mental clarity, they go on air at 8:30-8:35 and the first pitch gets thrown somewhere around 9 p.m. Now, it remains to be seen if they will do the pregame, but let's be real here -- starting it at 8:22 over 8 p.m. is already ridiculous. This is going to be an all East Coast World Series. The teams involved start their games in the regular season at 7 p.m. If Game 6 DOES happen and Fox DOES do its pregame show, that's TWO HOURS LATER than these baseball fans are accustomed to, all because it has to be in "prime time." 9 p.m. is NOT the time you start an important post season baseball game. I'm sorry.

Maybe whoever scheduled this had good intentions, but it just smacks of stupidity. Again, with this network, I am not surprised.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

And Now You Can Flip Off Mother Nature With Me!

OMG! Blogger now has a feature where you can add live doppler radar to your blog! I know Erica is very psyched to hear this! Check out my sidebar, and in April, you too can see if I'm getting rained on at Yankee games. That's if we get approved for tickets at the new Stadium...but still.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Shut Up, L.A.

I understand that the Dodgers are up by five runs in the 8th inning, but you've GOT TO BE KIDDING ME with the amount of empty seats around Dodger Stadium right now. I mean, it's only 8 PM out there -- you can't even use the "it's late" excuse. And don't give me that bull about the traffic -- your team is in the playoffs? You stay for every out and sit in said traffic with the joy of knowing you saw all 27 outs of a winning PLAYOFF game.

Ingrates.

Friday, October 10, 2008

From the Mountains, to the Prairies, to the Diamond

So, I have to say, I'm a little confused about "God Bless America" being sung before the bottom of the 7th inning in these playoff games. I don't get why the Yankees do this 81 games a year and then the rest of the League only does this during the All-Star Game and the playoffs. It's like they're saying "Hey troops watching overseas, we really do think of you!" When in reality it just comes off as big phony show precisely because the troops are watching.

People get on the Yankees (who I think are the only team still playing it regularly) for playing this, acting like it's some fascist agenda on their parts to keep the memory of 9/11 burned in everyone's brains to keep people from moving on or whatever. The thing is, and most Yankees fans who go to games on a regular basis will know this, the announcement before it is played has nothing to do with 9/11 and everything to do with honoring "our troops who are stationed around the globe." And while I'm not too keen on people being kept from going to the bathroom while it's going on, I do think that until we aren't in wartime anymore and the troops are safely home, you have to keep playing it -- start what you finish. And I'm not some frothing-at-the-mouth far-right wing flag waver, either. Quite the opposite. This has nothing to do with being for or against a war or being a conservative or a liberal. I just think that taking a minute and a half of my time at a baseball game isn't such a hardship considering the people we're remembering are doing something far more precarious than carrying six or seven beers into the upper deck.

I do, however, think it's a little fake to trot this out only during widely-watched games. I understand that it is to honor the troops who get these special broadcasts, but acting like they are always in Major League Baseball's memory, when they are only remembered in big-game scenarios is a little gross. You either do it all season long or you don't. And if MLB wants to remember the troops and honor the country in a more organic way, then actually SHOW the national anthem instead of letting Fox get away with their 22-minute long pre-game show that always cuts into "Star Spangled Banner" time.

Ok, getting off the soap box now...

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

I've Been Tagged!

Jamie hit me up for this one, and I'd spread the love but nobody's blogging anymore. Except June, but I think she's a busy woman. Ah well.

1. What do you usually wear to bed, PJs or boxer shorts? Neither? Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. I wear a tank nightshirt in the summer and a T-shirt and PJ shorts in the winter. I get too hot for regular PJs. (Again, retrieve mind from gutter)

2. What do you do before bedtime? I read books (currently, The Abstinence Teacher by Tom Perrotta.) I'm kind of burnt out on magazines.

3. What's your favourite colour of ink to write with? Not so much the color, but the texture -- I hate ballpoint pens and prefer awesomely inky ones like fountain pens. Color is not a problem.

4. What is the city of your dreams and why? I'm not sure a city would be my "dream" place...

5. Who is your guy crush? I've realized recently that I kind of have a thing for The Soup's Joel McHale.

6. When was the last time you checked out a book from the public library, and what was it? It was back when I was trying to do the responsible thing and save money, my first year in Hoboken. It was a bio on Gene Kelly.

7. Ever cheated on someone? When someone sneaks around on you, it's an utterly craptastic feeling, and I've therefore never done it because I'd never want anyone to feel that shitty because of me.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do? Nothing. It usually doesn't turn out like it does on TV, and since I don't like being cheated on, I don't like thinking someone is going to cheat on their significant other (and make them feel shitty) with me.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days? Agitated, yes, unhappy, no.

10. What is your best quality? I'm as constant as the north star.

11. What do you wish you could eat right now? Chicken and waffles in a maple-cream reduction. MMMM.

12. What are your guilty pleasure shows? Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew

13. What is one of your biggest pet peeves? Hypocrisy. And also people who lean on the subway train pole, so no one else can hold onto it.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? She's far better at constructing sentences than the person who made up this meme! And she "gets it."

15. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head? "Peace Train" by Cat Stevens. I don't know why...

16. What’s your favourite item of clothing? My J.Crew T-shirt dress.

17. How do you see yourself? Just trying to get through it like everyone else.

18. What's the first thing you notice in people? Hair, unless they are leaning on the subway pole and then I notice how rude they are.

19. Would you bungee jump from the Empire State Building for $10,000,000? No -- I'd work myself up into too much of a state before hand and probably say a lot of things I shouldn't for fear of dying or something. No money is worth that humiliation.

20. What were your parents going to name you if you'd been born the opposite gender? Robert (after my dad) Hanlon (great-grandfather).

Quote of the Debate

"Why is that woman giving him a baboon face?" -- Eric, (whose sharp Canadianness allowed him to be declared the winner of the night) on one of the really dour-looking question askers.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Note to Self

Start stockpiling metaphorical artillery. Because apparently other people have it at their disposal.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

I LOL'd at SNL. For Real.

Last night was maybe the first time in, oh, years that I actually enjoyed more than one sketch on SNL. Maybe they got lucky because the debate (Sarah Palin's a comedy gold mine) and the bailout (the skewering of the greedy was awesome) happened in the same week and thus made for spot-on mockeries, but there was one other skit I am almost ashamed to admit I enjoyed: Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals. It was extremely ridiculous but short, and Andy Samberg does a great imitation. Also "A lot of people want to eat you. I just want to talk to you, okay?"



DId I mention it was short? I think that's been SNL's big problem -- the skits go on for way too long. Most last night actually ended before they got old. Which is always good.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

I'm Weird, I Know

So, do you remember in the late 80s when those sun/moon watches were really popular? (I mean, they still kind of are available now, but mostly for men, and if they are available to women, they are like $6,000.) Anyway, when I was in the 7th grade I asked for one for Christmas and when I got it, I wore the shit out of that thing. It looked like this:



I don't know if it's because the sun had a really creepy smile on its face (the fact that it had an emotion alone is kind of creepy in and of itself) or if I just liked having a watch that allowed me to look at something else than the time, but I loved that thing. I still have it, but it's been beat up bad, beyond being wearable.

I started getting nostalgic for it recently, and have been searching online for one. Since most were either fug or way beyond a copy editor's salary, I pretty much gave up my search. Then, when I was at Target today with Rana and Ken, I remembered that I had seen one on their web site -- it had a gold rim, which I wasn't wild about, but it wasn't too much of a fashion faux pas. So I looked in their watch section, and lo and behold, there it is. For $12.99.



Yeah, I know it ain't really the most fab of watches, but for 13 bucks, it will satiate my need for solar/lunar happenings on my wrist. Even if it seems like the sun and moon and stars are going to rotate coming up every few days, instead of, say, when they are usually out in a 24-hour period. But I digress. I have my wearable piece of nostalgia and get to feel like I'm in the 7th grade again, minus the whole adolescent angst thing.

Now if only they'd start producing Speak & Math again...

Friday, October 03, 2008

Really, Channel Guide?

The description for tonight's House Hunters (with maybe the corniest, attention-seeking dude I've ever seen on the show, but that's not important right now):

"Finding a Home Before the Wedding," A betrothed pair look for their first home.

BETROTHED? I'm sorry, but I don't think they had house hunting in the 1400s, you know? (But I'm sure if they did, the house huntees would feel entitled to a huge kitchen with granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances and be turned off by other perfectly serviceable kitchens even though they don't cook. Or something.)

Quote of the Day

"Why does everyone else's kitchen table get to host such serious financial discussions? It's not fair." -- Chris, on my Facebook status lamenting the candidates' focus on middle-class families and not singles, retirees, etc.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

My "Sharp" Observation of the Night

Does anyone believe that the guy in the Sharp Aquos "How do you see the game" commercial is REALLY a baseball fan? I've been pondering this all season. You know the guy -- he looks like the love child of David Silver and Ryan Seacrest, and then the producers of the ad totally told him to grow some scruff because he looked too pretty to be an actual male sports fan or something. And we all know facial hair = sports cred. I still don't buy it, beard and all. I mean, this guy is SO obviously an actor, not some diehard sports fan dude off the street who just wants to talk about how close you can get to the game with his flatscreen television -- even if they do, ooh, have him don that especially manly piece of wardrobe the hoodie. Nay, he pings your douchedar the minute he sets foot on screen, which is why I feel compelled to write about this.

I get that Sharp is trying to appeal to the 20something male, and many of them are indeed douchey, but if they are trying to sell this guy as your everyday dude who likes watching sports in high def (that'd be the undouchey majority), well then it fails miserably. I mean, he's wearing really dark-rinse (and possibly skinny) jeans and I think low-top converse -- like, he's trying to look way casual for his night in with his fave sports team, and still manages to look like he's on his way out to some pretentious Williamsburg bar. Also, his apartment is WAY too put together. In short, he's an effing (incredibly douchey) hipster trying to tell me how awesome it is to watch the game on this TV. I don't buy it, because I don't know many hipsters who actually give a shit about sports. I mean, maybe if he was trying to sell it to me ironically it might make more sense. But I think he truly means for me to buy it, in the sincerest way possible.

I don't know. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But it doesn't make me want to buy their product because of how clearly they DON'T get the average sports fan. But then I'm not a dude, so maybe I'm missing something. God, I wish I could've found this on YouTube so you could decide for yourselves...